Monday, December 19, 2011

On Demonstrating Value Part 2: It's Not a video game!

So it seems like people didn't really get what I was trying to say with the post on demonstrating value from last week.

Shocking I know.

The point I was trying to make was that the idea of "Demonstrating value" is fundamentally wrong, because as I talked about last time, value is subjective. Also it's kinda hard to figure out what a girl values specifically without sounding like a therapist. So the idea of demonstrating value is off both as a term and as a part of the pick-up process. I'll sketch out what I believe (and my research supports) actually is happening later in this post.

This gets into today's post "game" doesn't work like a video game. There is no sequence of things that you can say or do that will get you laid in every situation. Unlike a video game there isn't ONLY 1 way to pass a level or achieve a goal. There are a huge variety of variables that are not present in a video game and rely on a real person with her own feelings, thoughts and agendas.

Such as:
The type of girl you're talking to
Her current mood
Her romantic status (Is she single, looking, taken,)
Her previous thoughts about guys who look like you
Her history with guys
Her age
and on and on...

Pickup is actually much more like the game roulette. The variables are almost infinite and luck plays a much bigger part than we are willing to acknowledge. This also leads us to the Gambler's Fallacy and how that effects the way pick-up advice is given.

The gamblers fallacy can be illustrated as follows. "Fabio" has a system for playing roulette. His "system"(bro) is to play red every time. He has lost 3 times in a row. When he loses he doubles his bet under the Gambler's fallacy that red should come up next time since it's been black 3 times in a row.

The reason this is false is because each roulette spin is independent of the last spin. On AVERAGE over a long enough time line or certain number of spins it will come up red or black about 50% of the time each. But that does NOT mean it's going to be red or black 50% of any given number set, like Fabio's 3 spins thus far. Each time the wheel is spun the chances of red or black coming up are around 50% no matter how many times a color has come up in a row.

Hopefully you're still following me, I know things like academic research are difficult to read when you're used to advice like "Be A MAN!" and "Make the ho say no!" but I digress.

Each approach is like a spin of a roulette wheel, just because the last 5 girls I talked to who looked like this girl were(or not) into me, does not GUARANTEE this girl is going to be into me, because EVERY girl is different. Like each individual roulette spin.

So some women are going to respond to a guy who's hard to get, while others will not bother. Other woman will want a guy to be really aggressive and interested in her. And so on and so forth.

So am I basically just telling you to give up and that there is no hope to systematically attract a woman?

Not exactly...

There is one thing that all people(men included) respond to, that's emotions.

All people make emotional decisions (Such as continuing a conversation, being alone with a guy they just met, giving out their number, going home with a guy) and then use logic (he's a writer, he's hot, it just happened, I felt a great connection, he's sexy, I was drunk) to explain them.

Emotional stimulation is what happens during the "attraction" phase. In fact if you can't get any of what I call "emotional fluidity" (the ability to influence her emotionally positive or negative) the conversation ends very quickly.

Hell even pissing a girl off is better than getting apathy (Which is often what you get with DHV stories don't lie)

Let's look at some of the given attraction tactics and see how they stimulate emotions:

Negs/Teasing- Causes frustration, want for validation,humor
Storytelling- Range of emotions usually positive and humorous
Role-playing- Range,
Cold Reads- Intrigue, curiosity,

There's more but I want to wrap this up before I get carpal tunnel syndrome.

Because there's an almost limitless range of emotions, the true skill of attraction comes from learning to get an EMOTIONAL response from the beginning. Sometimes this even means pissing a girl off when she's being all apathetic and shit.

Which is also coincidentally why I was once able to pick up a girl at the W in Dallas with the opening line " I hope a plane crashes into this patio and kills everyone." she was in a negative emotion and I realized it (subconsciously at the time) and adapted.

And also ya know what I've been teaching for the 3 years I've been on my own.

Boom, Lawyered.

JS- The king of content- You come at the king, you best not miss :)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

"You Already Know What I'm About"- On Managing Expectations

Yo,

Ever since the whole Kristen situation spiraled (Horribly) out of control, I have been more anti-commitment than ever (It is possible believe it or not).

I also figured out how to get laid A TON with minimal (Sometimes never) telling the girl you like her. I'm still trying to piece together everything I'm doing that's reproduceable (The whole me being emotionally dead thing is hard to mirror) and here's what I got. This stuff is not very nice, and it shouldn't be used with girls you're OPEN to having a relationship with but if you want to avoid drama, commitment, neediness and emotions while banging lots of chicks, here's some advice(I'm totally going to hell).


1. Qualify more for compliance than for compliments. When you REALLY don't want the girl to get attached (Or at least to get over it quickly) qualification goes back to being a Mystery Method style phase as opposed to actually looking for what you want in a girl. The more you give specific reasons you like her the harder it's going to be to keep her from catching feelings.

2. Be Busy. I actually am insanely busy with a Sinns of Attraction, a side business, kickboxing, friends and fucking other girls so that part wasn't hard. If you're not busy then you need to frame yourself as SUPER busy upfront to start to negate the demands on your time the girl will expect.

3. Lead with your "Not looking for a relationship" foot. I now start every date with an explanation of how AWESOME my single life is, and how much I like being single and am not looking for a relationship. Some girls will ACT like they're not into this idea, don't give up. Oftentimes PK (Post Kristen) I've been on dates where girls verbally disagreed with that yet slept with me anyway.

4. Don't talk every day. Go several days without contact on a regular basis. Don't establish a text pattern where she expects to hear from you every day or at a certain time. Don't return texts or calls too eagerly.

5. Treat her really nicely. Be super gentlemanly, pay for (almost) everything, open doors, make sure she cums etc... By combining being a good guy with being upfront about what you're looking for there is less for her to complain about both to you and her friends. It doesn't make you a good guy but maybe you'll get preferential seating in hell near Stalin :)

6. Be a cold soldier. Every now and then girls will test you, by saying "I miss you" trying to hangout every day, getting you to meet their friends (You know stuff girls do when they like you).. This is where the word "No" is your best friend. You were upfront, there is NO obligation for you to do any of this stuff.

7. Don't rub her face in the fact you're dating other women. Don't lie but don't tell the truth either. She needs to know you're dating other people. She doesn't need to know how many, their names or anything like that.

8. Cut Needy Chicks early. I met a girl at CVS who was smoking hot. The issue was she was BLOWING my phone up 3-4 times a day before we even went out. I had to let that one go knowing that the lay would not be worth the headache that accompanied it. If you're trying to be happily single, cut needy chicks off as soon as the neediness starts. ESPECIALLY if you haven't slept with them yet. It won't get better.

9. Man up and tell them it's over. At some point certain girls get annoying, or you get over it. Rather than just disappear, send a break-up text like

Hey, I'm not really sure how to say this, but I don't think we should see each other anymore. I think you're a really cool girl, but I just don't see this going anywhere and I think we should both move on. Sorry. Jon

And there you go a beginner's guide to keeping it moving. Which is what I do best.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, December 12, 2011

Re-visiting Pick-Up Dogma Part 2: On Demonstrating value

Hey There,

I want to pick back up with my Re-Visiting Pick-up dogma series. Last time we looked at being non-reactive and focused on the idea that having the RIGHT reaction is better than sitting there with no reaction.

Today I want to talk about that prickly Pick-up pear (try saying that 3 times fast) known as Demonstrating value.

The idea as taught back in the day by guys like Mystery went a little something like this:

You are a 5(no matter what you look like) and she is a 10(no matter what she thinks she is/the environment etc) so in order to get her interested, you need to simultaneously lower her value while raising your own.

This was done through the use of two tools: Negs and Demonstrations of value (DHV). Now I'm going to to be tackling Negs in their own separate post, so here we'll be focusing on the DHVs.

Back in the day the DHVs that were commonly taught were:

1. Pre-selection. The idea that demonstrating or verbalizing the idea that other women are attracted to you causes attraction. Verdict: True. Probably the best thing I got from Mystery (and it flies in the face of a lot of typical dating advice) is the idea that dropping a hot ex GF into conversation causes attraction and it does, though not as well as actual demonstration.
2. Leader of Men. The idea that being the leader of your group was inherently attractive. Also one of the lamest things you could possibly say to a woman " I'm a leader of men." Verdict: True in theory. It's a good piece of head nodding material as power is attractive. However it's hard to actually demonstrate this without seeming like you are OBVIOUSLY trying to impress the girl.
3. Protector of Loved Ones. Verdict: False. This is WAY more of a comfort thing. It's also one of those things that is difficult to use in field. It's not something you're going to just casually throw into the first few minutes without seemingly like you are qualifying yourself.

So there's no inherent problem with those other than them being kinda head nodding material, and being difficult to implement unless you naturally have good conversational skills and social intelligence which most students don't.

Now we need to move on to what the REAL problem with the whole DHV model really is; value is subjective. While there are things that are universally attractive to women, they also happen to be the things that most guys who find this stuff don't have going for them. These are things like money, looks, height, social status, etc... Outside of those things value is a subjective thing. What is valuable to a party girl at a club in LA is different from what is valuable to a professional girl out to dinner with her girlfriend at a trendy lounge in Seattle. Older women value certain things that younger women don't, and vice versa.

So the real challenge and skill of attraction is being able to figure out on the fly what this particular girl in front of you is going to value and then trying to demonstrate that. This also ties back into the whole idea that being non-reactive is bad because instead of being non-reactive we want to tailor our interaction to the girl we're talking to.

Which is why DHV routines are so hit or miss for students. Sometimes they work but other times they fall flat because you're using them at the wrong time with the wrong girl.

SO the key points to take from this article are:

There is no "value formula" that works every time. Instead value is subjective and is mostly based on the individual girl in front of you.

Therefore the MOST important part of attraction is being able to figure out WHAT the girl in front of you values and using that rather than a paint by numbers approach.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, December 09, 2011

Maxxing Out Your Look

Hey there,

So continuing on my theme of Maxxing Out(Here's where I'd insert a trademark :P)

I want to write briefly about what I think the first, easiest and best thing to max out is; your look.

It's really not hard to take yourself from less than attractive to attractive. 3s become 5s, 5s become 7s etc...

I firmly believe that ANY guy can max out his look within 6 months - 1 year unless he's HORRIFICALLY obese and has to spend years losing hundreds of excess pounds.

Again keep in mind that MOST guys are not going to max out at a 10 without plastic surgery, height implants, and a time machine. We're not aiming for perfection we're aiming for the best we can be. If you're bald you're not turning into Fabio. Sorry.

So what do we need to max out look wise:

1. Body. As a guy if you have nice looking arms, no muffin/top and a semi defined chest you're basically a 7 as long as you're not hideously deformed in the face. So if you're obviously out of shape and it's important to you to meet women get your ass in the gym. Or on a bike or into a karate class or whatever EXERCISE you like you 3-5 times a week. If you're too skinny lift weights and eat weight gainer.

2. Skin tone. Acne is a MEDICAL problem. Go to a DR if you have gross acne, don't try to cure it with cream from the mall. Also if you're really pale, get a tan. Even if you have to fake and bake it will give you a chance to meet girls who also go tanning.

3. Hair. If you're bald/balding go Bruce Willis. Don't try to hang on, don't comb it, don't have spikes that start in the middle of your head. Also if you have hair and it's going grey dye that shit if you want younger chicks, or shut up. Then get a real haircut not a $10 job from some chick who barely speaks english, spend $50 for something that can make you 2 pts better looking by itself.

4. Get a look. Girls should be able to stereotype you in 1-2 words by the way you dress. Rocker, Hip Hop guy, Nerd, Hipster, Jock, Prep. Pick a style and then dress that way rather than doing what 90% of guys do and throwing together hit that doesn't match and looks terrible. If you have to get some personal shopping done for you at Nordstrom's (it's free).

5. Accessories. Having a couple of accessories or things girls can talk to you about is always good. I have a tattoo, and a collection of funny t-shirts. You may have a watch or ring or necklace or shoes that starts conversation but get something. 1 thing not 97 like back in the day peacocking.

With those 5 areas you can max your look out usually in only a few months.

Word.

JS

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Maximizing Yourself Out

Lately I've been really inerested in the idea of a guy maxxing himself out or maximizing his lifestyle, skillset, and inner psych.

Most people are not going to max out with a supermodel, a Ferrari and a life of lounging on the beach, but it's a much better goal to aim for than the ones usually pushed on guys by the SUISC.

So how does one max out?

First you have to take an honest (and you'd be SHOCKED by how many guys lie to me while asking for help) look at where you are.

You start with the physical, are you worse looking than you could be? Then you look at your living situation, your job, friends, social life etc...

The point is it's a long process but it's the only way to see real long term change and to actually reach your potential.

Plus most guys (myself included) are nowhere near where they could be with a little effort.

JS

Monday, December 05, 2011

About Captain Jack

Hey there,

I know I've been getting some ?s about CJ and you're all quite persistent so here goes:

CJ is cool, he's working really hard right now doing the marketing for a multimillion dollar company, that's going through a huge growth phase right now.

His website is down because of some mix up with the hosting company. So even though he still owns Betheseducer.com they won't restore his content. Sucks right?

Other than that he seems to be in good spirits and has been focusing on meditation and spirituality as well as cleaning up his health and stuff.

He didn't seem to be going out much the last time we talked which was probably a month or so ago.

So there ya go,

JS

Thursday, December 01, 2011

This Blog Is For Guys Who Are Bad With Women

I've been getting a rash of comments over the last few weeks giving super simplified advice as a juxtaposition to what I'm writing.

What these assclowns don't understand is that the advice "Just fuck her" is not particularly useful for the guys who read this blog.

Guys who read this blog generally are more hard cases (as I was and as EVERYONE who googles pickup advice etc is).

Sooo when you MR armchair pickup guru give advice that I'm sure works for you and your jabronie friends (as you must be so completely overwhelmed with pussy that you have time to comment on blogs designed to help you get laid more) it is annoying and frustrating for guys who are the actual target audience I'm writing to.

The guys I write this blog for need help and date ideas, and conversational topics and overviews of how to talk to women. Otherwise they wouldn't be coming here to read my 1100 and something post over the last 6 years. And those guys are the reason I still write this blog even when it seems as though I've exhausted every way to talk about pickup in writing...

If you want to brag about how awesome you are be a condescending prick, you can do it somewhere else as I will now be blocking those comments. All comments telling me I suck and should die of a horrible disease will still be allowed as those make me LOL.

Good talk,

JS

Monday, November 28, 2011

Good Date Spot-Theme Parks

I went to Magic Mountain yesterday and it is a surprisingly good place to take a date(other than the glaring need for alcohol).

Most theme parks are btw $ 30-40 a person and can be fun for 4-6 hours easy. So it's not WAY more expensive than going out for a few drinks in a city like LA, NY or Vegas.

Plus it's a lot of fun, gets the heart going, and gives PLENTY of opportunity for built in conversation. I definitely am going to start taking more dates there.

Word.

JS

Monday, November 21, 2011

End Of The Year Already...

Man every year goes by faster and faster...

Now is as good a time as ever to look back over your goals for dating over the last year and how close you came to achieving them.

And if you didn't it's a good time to start planning for next year, as nightlife will take a down turn after this Wed until New Year's Eve with the holiday/boyfriend season in full swing.

JS

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The 1% fantasy and how it's ruining your life

How many people do you think are actually millionaires in the US? Not millionaire on paper.

How many people are famous?

How many guys sleep with more than 1 new girl a week?

Hint it's a really low percentage of people...

Like 1% of 1% of the population.

The point is that any of these goals (which 90% of people reading this have in one form or another) are going to be REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to accomplish.

Is it possible?

Sure but 99% of you are not going to be willing to put in the time effort or energy needed to have a chance of success.

And 99% of the ones of you who do put in the time effort and energy are still NOT going to make it due to luck, health, bad breaks, or changes in priorities.

Now that I've suitably depressed you, let's talk about the good part of this news.

The good part is that NONE of you actually want these fantasies. What you want is the feeling that the fantasy would allow you to have.

You want to make 10 Million dollars? Why? What would change in your life if you had 10 mil right now? Besides the superficial, you'll probably find something like "I would be less stressed about security and able to focus on what I like doing."

You want to sleep with 100 girls? Why? What would that do for you? Would it make you feel cooler? Would it make you feel like a success with women. What would it do for you?

And more importantly when you ask yourself these questions, is there something you could be doing right now, that would give you the same or similar feelings?

Chances are there is, people don't do things for the surface reasons. People who want to be famous have their reasons for it usually having to do with needing to prove their value to people, people who want to sleep around a lot are looking for something as well. Even guys who want to get girlfriends are looking for some emotional fix....

So the solution is 2 fold:

1. Let go of the 1% of 1% fantasy. Just give it up, we are all the rule not the exception.

2. Figure out what you were actually trying to get emotionally from that 1% fantasy and see if there is a more realistic healthy and sustainable way to achieve it.

That is all.

JS

Monday, November 14, 2011

I'm Not Saving The World

Hey there,

I was gone the last two weeks first to a positivity nazi conference where I was officially the most hated on man in the world, and then recovering for a week where I mostly over-ate and smoked a lot of pot.

But now I'm back, and I wanted to talk about something I've been thinking about since I heard another "guru" talking about how he was changing the world one guy at a time or some other such super lame oversimplification of what we do in the SUISC.

It's also at this point in the listening that I feel like yelling at the speaker like Mark Wahlberg in "The Departed"

" Do you know what we do here?"

" No you don't, if you knew what we do here we would not be good at our job. We would be pricks. You calling us pricks?"

But I digress.

I am not saving the world by teaching guys how to get better at sleeping with chicks.

You can use slippery slope logic or tell me all about the 1 guy who really needs this stuff or he's going to kill himself all you want.

The truth is still the truth. And the truth is it's kinda weird to teach guys how to pick up chicks. You can spin it all you want and engage in self deception to make yourself(the "guru") feel better about it the same way other guys who are good with gilrs justify cheating on their GFs. The human mind is amazingly good at convincing us that what we want to do is OK.

This is the truth:

This is NOT a Men's movement.

This is NOT making the world a better place.

This is NOT one day going to be taught in colleges.

This is not some secret knowledge that will change the world once made public.

You are NOT necessarily a better more whole person just because you can get laid consistently.

And NOT all men are interested in learning this stuff.

These are the facts, not some grand delusion I come up with to make myself feel better so I can go to sleep at night.

I know my stuff works and it does what I say it will do.

No more, no less.

If you want to learn how to get better at sleeping with girls I'm your guy.

If you want some sort of guru type who is going to take you by the hand and tell you about how great pickup is and how it's changing the world,and how you're special because you know about it, you should probably find someone else.

Just keeping it 100.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, October 31, 2011

HappY Halloween!

It's officially Halloween today!

I've had an awesome Halloween weekend but I just realized that we've been having a massive Halloween sale for our email list subscribers that I haven't shared with you blog readers... YET

It's a great deal with almost all of our products at a huge discount to help you get out there and meet the girl of your dreams TONIGHT.

Check it out Here:

SALE

Word

JS

Friday, October 28, 2011

Today In Fuck You: People who tell you how in love they are two weeks after they start dating.

This is a particularly relevant topic here, as guys who teach pick up are the # 1 offenders of this particular brand of douchbaggery.

I HATE it when someone (guy, girl, whatever) goes on and on about how they're so in love with this new person they're dating, when they've only been dating a few weeks, and or are not yet in a serious BF/GF relationship.

Seriously you need to stop, before I lose my shit and start mocking you for being the naive and emotionally needy loser you are.

First of all, no one else cares! I don't give a shit. I mean of all the things in the world whether or not you're insanely happy with your new BF/GF whatever really doesn't matter. And I don't think I'm speaking for just me, when I say there are roughly 9,876,142 things I care about more than the status of your 2 week old relationship.

Secondly for whatever reasons ( Probably because I'm friends with community guys and players) the same guys who spend 74 hours yakkking my ear off about how in love they are, cheat on these same girls like a month later.

If you cheat on a girl you spent over an hour telling me you were in in love with, I should be allowed a free hour of wasting your time talking about the subject of my choice which will be "Chardee Mcdennis: The Game Of Games."

Lastly lest someone think this is some sort of rant against being in love or being happy in your relationship, it's not. I think it's fine to be in love and in a relationship. But that doesn't happen in 2 weeks. The same way they advise couples not to tell people they're pregnant for the first few months in case something happens. My problem is specifically with the people who spend an inordinate amount of time talking to others (namely me) about how they're sooo in love and happy in their relationship, when the relationship just started last Tuesday, or they are clearly not in a serious relationship and just want attention or something to talk about.

To those people I say : FUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

To everyone else have a great Halloween weekend.

JS

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Re-Visiting Pick-up Dogma Part 1: Being non-reactive

I've been wanting to do a series for awhile, that looked at some of the most commonly expressed ideas in the Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community (SUISC) and held them up to a little bit more examination in 2011 as opposed to 2000-2005 when most of these ideas were espoused.

The first thing I wanted to talk about was the idea of being non-reactive.

The idea of being non-reactive is one of the most discussed ideas in the SUISC. With the majority of the advice advising one to "be non reactive no matter what!", "Imagine what Clint Eastwood would do." and one piece I recently saw even advised simply staring at the girl. It all adds up to a some good information mixed with a bunch of bad metaphors that make it seem like the average guy starting out, needs to aim to be some sort of emotionless robot of pickup.

Which obviously is not correct.

So let's delve a little deeper into what those wacky PUAs are really trying to get across.

First let's start with the name, "being non-reactive" is misleading. You're always going to be having a reaction in a social interaction, even if that reaction is simply to sit there and stare in silence(an option guaranteed to fail 100% of the time BTW). So the goal of "being non-reactive" in it's purest form is to sit there staring like a stone which obviously won't help you get girls.

Instead what you want to strive for is not showing a negative emotional reaction, when you're NERVOUS or things are going badly. The thinking here being that a girl is not a mind reader and if you don't show any signs that you're nervous or think it's going badly, she'll assume you're confident. The essence of "Fake it til you make it".

Here's the second problem, in most situations I read and listened to (and it was a lot Daddy likes research) the advice of "be non-reactive" was being given in situations(real or hypothetical) where an approach was ALREADY going bad. You'll rarely hear someone be told to "be unreactive" when the girl is eating up everything you're doing. This re-affirms my point that the advice of being "non-reactive" is only relevant in situations where things are already not going well.

So instead of saying "be non-reactive" we could say always act like things are normal, especially when it's not going well. Which is much more accurate and easy to understand advice.

My last problem with the idea of being unreactive comes back to the idea that EVERYTHING is a reaction. If we accept that everything is a reaction, then the best gameplan for getting a girl is not to "be unreactive" but instead to have the best possible reaction for the specific girl in the specific situation.

This is because as we all know all girls are different and each one has specific preferences. The more you can tailor your seduction (or personality if you're a sociopath) to her individual preferences, the more successful you will be.

Hopefully that explains why the idea of being "non-reactive" sounds great in theory but in practice falls more than a little short of being good advice.

JS-The King of content

Monday, October 24, 2011

Goal Hijacking

Hey there,

Short post today on the topic of goal hijacking.

What is goal hijacking?

Goal hijacking is what happens when a person sets a goal whether it's to lose weight, make more money or get better with the opposite sex. Then this person shares his/her goal with a group of like minded individuals at a seminar, a mastermind group or an internet message board, and then their goal gets literally hijacked by another goal they hadn't thought about before.

A common example I've seen looks like this: a guy wants to get a girlfriend so he'll be less lonely and have more sex. Then he starts googling "How To Get A Girlfriend" or " Get better with girls" and the like and finds all these products that sound amazing!!! Or he get on the message boards and reads (Often fake) Lay Reports by these guys that sound like something written to Letter To Penthouse (Also fake).

All of a sudden, getting a girlfriend doesn't sound so great anymore.

Goal hijacking happens A LOT. Especially when you haven't fully fleshed out what you want to get out of a given goal.

When it comes to goal setting, there are two parts: The goal itself and the benefits you are going to get from achieving that goal.

To use the weight loss example, if you lose 20LBS, you're not only going to reach your goal, but you're going to get increased health benefits, you're going to look younger and more attractive and you're going to be happier and more confident in the way you look.

The weight loss is the goal, the rest are the benefits of achieving that goal. So when it comes to picking a goal for meeting women, we want to pick a goal that we not only want, but will get us the benefits we're looking for as well. Then we want to stick to it and focus only on that goal until we achieve it.

Otherwise we stand the risk of being the victim of goal hijacking.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Counter Productives

Happy Friday!

The weeks are really flying by as we get to the end of the year huh?

Today I wanted to talk about a new concept I've been teaching my Private Coaching students over the last few months.

I call it The Counter Productives: The concept is this, every guy has things he does that are counter productive to their success with women. This could be anything from rationalizing you don't have the time, to thinking a girl is too hot to be interested in you before you approach her.

If you can figure out the things you do that are counter productive, rather than focusing on trying to do the right thing, you can just remove the counter productive behavior and by default you should do the right thing by process of elimination.

Here are some common examples of counter productive behaviors I've seen:

Hovering- if you stop hovering, you either approach or don't approach right away thus making a much better first impression.

Not making enough time to go out- Instead of making reasons you can't go out, look for ways to go out within your schedule. Something as simple as going to the mall for an hr after work can markedly improve your results.

Making excuses not to approach- Either approach or don't but one of the worst mistakes guys make is getting into the habit of looking for every excuse not to approach. There will always be a reason not to approach if you look hard enough. The guys who get better either approach or don't but they don't waste time making excuses as to why they're not approaching.

Worrying about what type of girl she is before you approach her- This is a prime example of what I like to call "mind reading" except unfortunately for us, none of us can actually read a girl's mind. I'm reminded of this time and time again when a girl will have an accent or be from out of town or have a personality completely the opposite of what I would have guessed before I approached her.You NEVER actually know what a girl is like until you approach her. Good or bad.

The beauty of using counter productives is it's a much easier way to improve your game. For a lot of guys remembering to do something is MUCH more difficult than remembering NOT to do something. Also because a lot of us are unaware of our own counter productive behavior, once it's pointed out you'll notice yourself doing it almost automatically and once you notice it, you can begin to stop it.

Try this out yourself, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with the results.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Oh Really Bitch? An Open Letter To Diane Passage

Diane Passage was married to Kenneth Star the super rich "financial advisor" now serving 7 years in jail for his role in a huge ponzi scheme.

It seems that for some reason the New York Post (Noted employer of former of prostitutes) thought it would be a good idea to give this (Unsuccessful) gold digging former stripper a chance to write about what it takes to get what you want from men.

Here's a link to the article:

Why Dumb ass Skanks should be quiet

It's quite a read, if you can stop yourself from throwing up while reading it.

So she got to make her points and now it's my turn to retort.

This dumb whore wrote(My remarks in Bold):

"Women are powerful. That’s what I’ve learned from a lifetime of socializing with just about every type of female — from exotic dancers to socialites to successful businesswomen.

But I wasn’t aware of just how powerful women can be until I worked at several gentlemen’s clubs, including Scores. My guy friends said a gentlemen’s club must be the best place to work ever, because men just give money to the dancers. Far from it! The dancers — including me — worked hard every night. Imagine how difficult it is to sell a dance to a customer or a $500-plus-per-hour private room when he already knows that nothing sexual can happen! How do you get that customer to keep coming back? It was a sales job — one that involved torturous sky-high stilettos and wrestling matches with drunk, horny customers.

Still, the skills I learned at the clubs empowered me to accomplish bigger and better things outside of it. Such as raising money for charities, running my own company, and now — and most importantly — rebuilding a solid life for me and my 13-year-old son, Jordan, after a family crisis."

The Skills she learned at the strip club taught her to raise her son. He should change his name from Jordan to no chance.


Dumb whore again:

"2. I can create my own outcome and accomplish any goal. I like to set goals for anything — serious or ridiculous. I started doing this when I worked at the club; I’d set weekly income goals to help me stay focused and not get onto a downward spiral (which is typical for exotic dancers). Along the way I set fun goals — attending certain concerts, parties, etc. My most ridiculous goal? Hooking up with a certain male porn star. A friend of mine offered to buy the star for me for one night, but I declined. It’ll be far more satisfying to accomplish my goal on my own. Whether your goals are serious, fun or both — never think you can’t have it all!"

Yes as a mother clearly having a goal to hook up with a male pornstar is a great and challenging goal. Also I find it funny she says most dancrs end up in a downward spiral but doesn't mention her marrying a conman.


Dumb ass:

3. Slow and steady wins the race. While goals are important, you shouldn’t set unrealistic time limits to achieve them. People do crazy things under deadlines. An acquaintance of mine stalked a man because she was obsessed with getting married before the age of 35. Last year, she fell head over heels on one of her first dates. On Facebook, she saw he was looking forward to a sushi dinner at his favorite restaurant. My friend knew where to find him, because he’d mentioned the same restaurant on their date! So early in the evening, she planted herself at a table with a good view of the place. He showed up . . . with another date. This woman is seemingly sane otherwise. If she dropped the marriage deadline and just had fun dating, I bet she’d end up meeting her goal — without stalking!

Now this dumb bitch is contradicting herself from her last point always a sign of intelligent writing.

We're now at my 2nd favorite thing she wrote:

"4. Every girl should know the basics of fishing and dog training. Several years ago, my son took an interest in fishing. I had to learn, too, so I could help him with it. Little did I know that my basic fishing knowledge would end up serving me well in the world of romance! When dating, I like to try a fun and sporty approach. As the person who’s fishing, I’m able to lead my “fish,” so I have the advantage of getting what I want. My bait: smile, hair, makeup, clothing, stilettos and either legs or cleavage (never both at the same time). My hook: a flirty, mysterious demeanor. When I “reel” a man in, that means I’m getting to know him. He always has the option to free himself from my “hook.” And I always have the option to throw him back into the dating sea. If I decide to keep my “fish,” then I switch to boundary-setting mode. I’ve trained a dog, raised a son and have been married twice to men who wanted nothing more than to make me happy. I know how not to let a male dominate me. The one consistent thing for all types of men: consistent enforcement of boundaries and giving rewards when they deserve them."

As we all know treating human beings like dogs or fish is a healthy and normal way to start any relationship and does not in any way lead to game playing or other immature power games. Also I find it hilarious that she mentions she's been married twice to men who wanted to make her happy. Before the divorce.

Now time for my absolute favorite:

"5. My wallet does not exist. It might sound like an outdated cliché, but if you’re a woman, you should never reach into your wallet while you’re in the presence of a man. Even if you’ve been married for years. Not only must a man pay for the main components of a date (dinner, etc.), but they must also take care of taxi fare, coat check and bathroom attendant tips. The woman who believes in this mantra is not a gold-digger or obligated to “return the favor.” The few times I’ve gone “dutch” on dates, it usually results in the man feeling emasculated because of it — or it means the guy has some sort of money hang-up. Can an emasculated guy or someone with issues give you what you want? Not for me!"

Really? I mean you know this is gonna be read by people. You're basically saying a guy should give you cash when you go to the bathroom to tip the attendents??? Are you out of your fucking mind? And I believe that the term for a woman who only goes out with a guy because he pays for everything is gold digger.

Oh wait actually, I lied. This is my favorite part.

"8. As a woman, it’s my right to act bitchy on occasion. When a man first approaches me, I’m icy cold and dismissive. The weak men leave. The ones who are up for a challenge stick around and show their charm and wit, and may land a date. Refer to mantra No. 4 (dog training) — along with boundaries, give rewards when due — leading to mantra No. 6 (value). A woman’s time, smile and interest are valuable and can be rewarded to the man who deserves her attention. Being icy or lukewarm at first also maintains an element of mystery. In addition, refer to mantra No. 5 (woman never pays). A man does not deserve a woman’s phone number without buying her and her friend(s) a drink, not to mention paying their entire bar tab."

No it's actually not anyone's right to be bitchy. When she says the weak men leave when she is dismissive, she's missing a key point. It's not weak men who leave, it's men who have options. If a woman is being a bitch upfront, no matter how hot she is, chances are she's going to be a bitch down the line as well. I don't know about you but I don't put up with that shit. Lastly I think she really shows us who she is when he says a man doesn't deserve a woman's phone number unless he buys drinks not only for her and their friends but pays their bar tab as well. That my friends is called prostitution. Fuck this bitch is retarded.

JS

Monday, October 17, 2011

Eben Pagen (David Deangelo) Wedding Vid WTF ?????????

Holy fucking shit this is weird!!!!!

Check out this video of David D getting married, in the WEIRDEST wedding vows ever!!!

David D gets married

I was going to break it down vow by vow like the Zapruder film, but instead I'm going to just cover some of my highlights.

First off it seems like Eben wrote these vows himself as if they were the marketing materials for some sort of hippy-fag program on relationships.

Secondly, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. I also showed it to a few girls I know and they confirm that they would have been creeped out enough to leave the ceremony.


Some highlights:

I vow to protect your solitude... Really isn't that kinda the opposite of a wedding vow??

What is that all white outfit Eben is wearing? Is this some sort of Bollywood movie that's just waiting for a dance ending?

That chick is beat. May we have a moment of silence for the idea that David D got hot chicks.

Why did they bring up their sex lives in their vows? It's almost like they were trying to convince me they actually have boney, nerdy, extremely pale sex with each other.

We will facilitate, momentous, opportunities to actualize... I don't even know what that means,

Their love is a crucible for evolution as well as conscious art. And here I just thought this was some rich asshole getting married.

Why am I not surprised that they mention Burning Man here, thus furthering my theory that Burning Man is for assholes.

Anyway what did you think of David D's wedding?

JS

Friday, October 14, 2011

Don't be Jealous-Be Happy for others.

File this under advice it took me awhile to be able to use.

One of the biggest problems I see with guys mindsets is the idea of jealousy. Most guys when they see someone else who is more successful than they are, get jealous or they look for reasons to justify why someone else has something they don't.

Instead of doing this, it's much easier and healthier to just be happy for that person. By "blessing" that which you want you send a mental signal that says it's ok to have that thing, and also it allows you to let go of any negative emotions you mat be hanging on to that are getting in the way of your own happiness.

So the next time you see some guy you know is no better than you with a girl you're attracted to, instead of torturing yourself trying to come up with the reasons she likes him, be happy for that guy and take it as inspiration that anything is possible.

Best,

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Meet Girls- Volunteer

Just a quick thought I wanted to post today.

A great and overlooked place to meet girls is through doing volunteer work usually with animals or children.

Since I hate children, I volunteer at a dog rescue place in a very expensive part of LA by the ocean and have met several attractive and legitimately sweet girl to hook up with from there.

I also get to play with dogs and not have to take them home with me, which is a side benefit as I'm way too irresponsible to have a pet.

So there you go, check out some charities you could volunteer for in your city nad you'll end up meeting a lot more women.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

My new favorite website

So as obsessed as I am with The Dirty.com I have found a new website that makes me just as happy as I laugh and feel superior to others :)

It's called Is Anyone Up, and basically is a place where you can submit nudes of people or yourself and people will comment on them.

So basically like Thedirty without the pink hearts.

I find it hysterical but it could very well be because I'm a sick person :)

Check it out at Is Anyone up?

Word

JS

Monday, October 03, 2011

Final Boarding Call For Destination Girlfriend

Just a quick reminder that today is the LAST DAY
to register for my life-changing Destination:
Girlfriend Coaching Program.

Registration closes at at Midnight Pacific Time
TONIGHT.

So if you want to get in on this you need
to act now. Here's the sign-up link:

Destination GF

In this program, I'm taking you by the hand and
walking you through the entire process from meeting
your dream girl, and doing all the right things
to make her your girlfriend.

You're going to get detailed explanations
of each component of the process as well as TONS of examples
and strategies of how to use these BRAND NEW
techniques to make your dream girl, your next
girlfriend.

To put in simply, after you go through the program
you will know the EXACT steps you need to take to
begin a long term, meaningful relationship with any girl you’re
attracted to.

You’ll also know how to apply these steps in ANY
situation and in ANY environment.

You get all of this for one ridiculously low
investment.

I mean seriously, how much would it be worth to you to
meet the woman of your dreams and start a meaningful
relationship? Think about
that as you sign up right now:

Just Click Here

Remember, registration is closing TONIGHT!

Talk to you soon,

Jon

Here's the Link

P.S. This is your last chance to get this,
here's the link again so you don't
miss out:

Check it out Here

Friday, September 30, 2011

Replay of Last Night's Girlfriend Training Call

If you missed out on the special Destination:
Girlfriend tele-class that I did last night
you REALLY missed out.

On the call, I gave many never-before-revealed
strategies on how to land an awesome girlfriend...
fast!

The GOOD NEWS is that I recorded the call
and you can listen to the replay of the call
here:

Replay

But the replay will only be available until
this Sunday at midnight.

On the call, we discussed in great detail how
to find, meet, attract and KEEP an awesome
girlfriend.

Get the juicy details here:

Replay

Best,

Jon

P.S. You don't want to miss this awesome training
call.


But you better her though. Because the replay is
coming down this Saturday at midnight.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Stop Sucking At Life; Stop Sucking With Girls

One of the things I'm sure I've joked about on here many times is the idea that some people suck at life.

These people are generally unhealthy(Overweight, out of shape, acne, unibrows and bad grooming) Anti-social (Either through shyness or weird antisocial behavior like Nerd arrogance) and unsuccessful(In their career, their goals, financially etc...)

These also happen to be the majority of guys who complain that girls are mean, pickup is hard etc..

The reason it's hard is because you suck.

The reason no girls like you, is because you suck.

The reason why you get blown out when(if) you approach is because you suck.

You cannot become more successful with women when the rest of your life is a complete and utter mess.

And I know there are some losers reading this who are going to write a comment about how their friend who is broke and fat and whatever gets all kinds of chicks.

Well guess what they are the exception not the rule.

The reason you are so excited to see the one guy who is a loser an gets chicks while ignoring the thousands of guys who have their shit together and get women, is because you are the rule not the exception.

So if you want to get better with women, take a real hard look at where you are BELOW average in your life and work on fixing that first.

Then maybe the tactics and techniques will work for you and you'll stop complaining like a whiny little bitch.

JS-The King of Content

Monday, September 26, 2011

Inner States and Game

Hey there,

Today I wanted to briefly talk about the idea of inner states and how they can help your game.

An inner state, is pretty much precisely what it sounds like; an inner statement you make to yourself about yourself. Ideally you want to use present tense language about a goal or process you want to take on. Then you want to repeat this statement until it becomes almost automatic for you to think that way.

For example, if you have trouble with approach anxiety, you could use an inner state of

" I always instantly, easily and confidently approach the women I am attracted to."

Or if you have trouble with attraction you could use:

" I effortlessly attract the woman I'm attracted."

At first I would suggest just picking one inner state that you think addresses your biggest problem with women, then expanding to 3-5 inner states that reflect changes you want to make in your entire life.

After you've got your inner states, you want to repeat them in the mirror 5 times each 3 different times a day. You'll find if you stick to this for 30 days the entire way you think will be different.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Scripted Qualification

I gave a talk to some of the members of the 12m2m at home program on Monday about the 5 most common intermediate/advanced sticking points.

One of the most important of these sticking points is making sure to use scripted qualification.

What I mean by scripted qualification is that you qualify for the same qualities every time you're interacting with a woman you're attracted to. Not only will this help you to qualify enough, it will also help you screen for women you actually like.

It's also not that hard, all you need to do is turn some qualities you like into qualification statements or questions.

Currently the qualities I qualify for are:

Mean sense of humor
Works out consistently
Is not too involved in the club scene
Is Bi-sexual

and a large qualifying question like " What's your best quality."

By sticking to scripted qualification you have a much greater chance of the girl showing up for a date or leaving with you that night.

Word.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, September 19, 2011

Evaluating Your Game Quarterly

Hey there,

Quick thought today.

A lot of guys who are intermediate or advanced wonder what they should do now that they actually (GASP) get laid on a regular basis from cold approach.

The answer took me awhile to find as well.

You don't want to continue to read forums, and study game all the time, as that will give you all sorts of contradicting advice and keep you stuck in the "Pick-up" guy stage of your development.

You also don't want to stop looking at your game objectively either. Some guys become delusional after being able to get laid consistently. You still have sticking points even if you get laid.

SO the solution is to re-evaluate your sticking points at set intervals. I like to do it quarterly. So every 3 months when it's time to get my car checked up and go to the Dr, I also take a look at what I think my sticking points are and what I can do to fix them. Then I focus on that for a little while until I fix the problem. Repeat 4x a year and you'll always improve without being a weirdo.

Word,

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Maximizing Your Time With Pick-Up

One of the biggest misconceptions out there in regards to picking up girls, is the idea that rejection is your biggest enemy.

Everyone gets rejected sometimes. Plus most rejections you will face are much less painful than the ones you imagine. At their most intense girls will walk away from you. No more, no less.

That's why rejection is not the enemy. In fact rejection can be a very helpful tool for letting you know when it's time to move on.

Instead I would offer the idea that time is your biggest enemy when it comes to cold approaching.

Because most bars and clubs are only open for a few short hours, there is a real limitation on time that does not extend to approaching. You could approach every girl in the bar, but chances are you won't be able to do that in the 3-4 hrs you have.

I don't want to limit this to night game either as I myself have been guilty of spending 30-40 mins chatting with a chick during the day time only to find out she has a bf or husband.

So instead we want to focus on maximizing our time when we are out, which we can do by following some basic rules.

The 5 rules for maximizing your pick up time are:

1. Set goals for your time. A lot of guys go out with the goal of "doing some approaches" or " Working on their game" then they end up standing around by the bar "getting comfortable". Instead you want to set a # of approaches you want to attempt in the set amount of time. Once you do that you know how much time you should have between approaches as well.

2. Approach Right away. I personally have to do a few warm up approaches in order to make the transition from anti-social to social. Most of you guys reading this are the same way. So you need to approach as soon as you get into the venue. It doesn't have to be the girl of your dreams but you need to get used to immediately switching into "social mode."

3. Don't spend more than 25 minutes in a row with any one girl, unless you KNOW it's on. This is my biggest personal sticking point as I like talking to girls and will enjoy chatting even if it's not going anywhere. It's a mistake. Instead you want to keep the interactions to 25 minutes or less until you have a really good sense it's on.

4. Don't be afraid to walk away. When it's obviously not going anywhere, don't be afraid to leave the interaction. Now if you're a newer guy it may be worth it to "plow" for 10 minutes to get practice with that sort of thing but if you're already fairly successful and it's not working, just leave.

5. Re-approach girls you talked to briefly later on. Sometimes walking away is the only way to get the girls to change their minds about you. But at the same time it's worth going back and talking to the girls you approached earlier later in the night as things change quickly. Same thing for short sets during the day. A lot of the time girls will like you better the second time around.

So that's my list of ways you can maximize your time while doing pickup.

Best,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, September 09, 2011

Have the good sense to dislike people who don't like you back.

Short blog post today.

As I get older, one of the things I've realized is that not everybody is going to like you, no matter what you do.

When applying this to pickup it means that not all girls you approach will like you and not all girls will respond to texts, calls etc...

So what do you do about this?

You respond in kind.

If a girl doesn't seem interested in talking to me, I'm no longer interested in talking to her. Same thing with the phone if I am always taking the initiative than it's no good and I just stop.

Seriously just stop putting effort into women who aren't putting effort into you and you will be much happier and more successful.

Word.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Flaking Video

Hey Guys,

I've been getting some questions on flaking so I decided to make a quick video to explain what's REALLY going on.

Check it out here:



And if you find yourself in need of more information on Eliminating Flaking Forever check out the Flak Elimination toolkit Here

Best,

JS

Friday, September 02, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 4: Falling off a bit


Yesterday was the hardest day of the challenge so far.

I had a very important meeting pushed back til today and then ended up having to get a lot of busy work done to fill up the day.

My roommate also has some of his friends in town and they are grating on my nerves a little bit...

But on the brightside it is now Friday and after kickboxing and my very important meeting I will be free!!!!!

And it's a long weekend so that means drinking, pool parties and general awesomness.

I'll try to keep updating over the next 2 days but no promises.

JS

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 3: Easing into it


Day 3 was a cake walk...

I had some problems sleeping the last few nights because I wasn't smoking weed, but a swift adjustment of my no weed rule to a weed to sleep so I don't make my day harder yielded great results and I woke up after 7 and a half hrs sleep ( a marathon for me compared to my usual 4-5 hrs) feeling like a champion gentleman. Or Gentleman champion I can't decide which sounds more baller.

Productivity is way up because instead of complaining about how annoyng actually having to do work is, I now just do it and reflect upon the fact that it's pretty awesome I can do my work from home in my gym shorts.

Traffic again was the only time I even had any sorts of problems and that's mostly due to people not seeming to understand where one lane ends and another one begins. Perhaps I should start teaching seminars on that :)

It's also way easier to meet girls because there's no time or room for negative thoughts and that makes approaching all the time pretty easy.

Still waiting for things to get harder which may happen tomor as I need to deal with some lingering issues in the business and that may stress me a bit. But it will be what it is whether or not I stress it, so I'm gonna try to relax and enjoy the process.

Best,

JS

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 2:Still pretty easy.


I'm pretty surprised by how easy the positivity challenge is going.

Even today while I was out doing some day game it was remarkably easy to stay positive thanks to just consciously thinking about it. And the fact that I'm the best at day game by a wider margin than ever.

The rubber band also makes it really easy to pop those negative thoughts when they come up. I should have mentioned yesterday that the other part of the rubber band is to replace your negative thought with a default positive one. Mine is "Everything always works out for the best for me."

I will say that positivity makes it a bit more challenging to be funny in a conversation with a girl as making jokes about how awesome things are is more difficult than cracking on something for sucking.

Other than that I find myself being much less in my head when I'm focusing on being positive. Introspection for me usually ends up being focused on things I don't like or wish were different. But since those thoughts are negative they get popped and I end up feeling much lighter and more carefree.

The only time today where I really had to snap the rubber band a lot was when I was driving through horrible traffic with a bunch of drivers seemingly incapable of staying in their own lanes. But after a few painful rubber band snaps I was able to relax and enjoy the Watch The Throne Album and amazing 77 degree day.

Until tomor.

JS

Monday, August 29, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 1



I've gotten into a pretty bad funk lately...

Not that anything bad is actually happening, but I have noticed that my thinking has become a lot more pessimistic than I'd like it to be.

So, because of that I'm going to be doing another Tony Robbins 7 Day Positivity challenge, like I did a few years ago.

To re-cap the 7 day positivity challenge goes something like this. For 7 days you have to focus on being completely positive, this means if you have a negative thought( like the fact that I got 3 hrs of sleep last night and am exhausted) you have 2 minutes to reframe it using empowering questions like " what's good about this?", "what can I learn from this?" or "what's the best use of my time here?".

This goes on for 7 days.

I've added another piece this year which I got from a program called Mine your brain by Doug Bench. The piece I've added is pretty simple, in addition to having to reframe things, I've also started wearing a rubber band on my wrist which I snap every time I have a negative thought. Doug Bench calls this "stomping your ANTS(Automatic Negative thoughts".

Thus far day 1 has been a challenge as I didn't sleep well at all over the weekend or last night and I now need to be positive while being a little grouchy.

I'm going to try to update this daily during the next 7 days in order to document how my challenge is going, if you want to do the same and comment along that would be swell.

Talk soon,

JS-the king of content



Friday, August 26, 2011

An Open Letter To The Millionaire Matchmaker



We all know I love me some reality TV, so I won't go too much into my thoughts on The Millionaire Matchmaker show other than to say that while it's entertaining, there's a lot of bad ideas about dating being tossed around.

The most dangerous of these ideas in my mind is the idea of monogamy before sex.

The reason that no sex without monogamy is a bad idea is actually pretty simple. A girl is ALWAYS going to be more attractive, interesting, sexy, smart etc BEFORE you have sex with her.

The fact that you haven't had her yet, adds to the perceived attraction. This is a fact. So when you force someone into a monogamous relationship before they can have sex, the motivation for getting into that relationship is 50% interest in the girl and 50% interest in getting laid.

Can we see how this might be a bad idea for someone looking to find love?

Furthermore until you've had sex with someone you don't really know the real them. Pre-sex both guys and girls put their best foot forward in an attempt to really get the other person interested. After sex is when a variety of new issues pop up and need to be dealt with. Sure these COULD be dealt with in the context of a monogamous relationship but you may often find that the two people just don't have that much in common but were united by the idea of no sex before monogamy and thus forced to spend more time with each other and less time looking for someone they might actually work out with.

As you all know if you've followed my work for any length of time, barriers INCREASE attraction. The more you tell someone they can't have something, the more they are going to want it. But this idea does not extend to AFTER they've gotten what they want. And my guess is oftentimes these instant relationships fall apart after sex.

Like the case of Access Hollywood Reporter Laura Saltman who after being set up by Patti with a millionaire became preganant only to have the guy abandon her and refuse to pay child support.

You can read all about that Here Just make sure to scroll down past the Russell Armstrong stuff.

Clearly the idea of no sex before monogamy is a way to artificially create more of an attraction and connection between two people where none exists.

What are your thoughts on the MM and no sex before monogamy?

JS

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What Not To Do On an Approach- Video Breakdown


Hey there,

I was fwd this video and thought I'd write out a few comments on what this guy is doing right and wrong.

The video's pretty funny in and of itself so props for that




Obviously the guy is self amusing with the whole penis pick up idea which goes to show that you can get away with a lot when you're having fun yourself.

This guy has kinda slumping body language though. The first thing I would fix is his posture, he needs to stand up straighter rather than trying to lean like he's nonchalant.

Kong does a good job of transitioning from his functional opener (like asking where the nearest Starbucks or fancy restaurant is) into a statement of intent by admitting he doesn't really care about what he was asking, he really just thought the girl was cute. This is a good tactic when you get a positive response, though it does fall flat a few times in this video because he does it too early. Generally you want to use a statement of intent when the girl seems interested right off the bat.

The main thing that is missing in these approaches is teasing and a transition into attraction material. Kong asks some questions and builds a good amount of social comfort, but he never breaks that comfort in order to generate the necessary emotional momentum to move into the attraction phase. He does use a few disqualifiers like saying he's a big dick, but it comes across more as him being over the top and goofy than as a real disqaulifier that will make the girl want to win him over.

Overall this video was entertaining but I would be surprised if any of those girls answer his calls or texts.

If you really want to learn how to approach even better and more successfully than this guy, check out the video I posted HERE

Hope that helps,

JS-The king of content

Monday, August 22, 2011

You don't have anything yet- On Escalation



One of the most common problems students have when they are first starting out is a tendency to get stuck in nice comfortable conversations that are not actually moving forward.

I think the reason for this is because for most guys starting out it feels really good to be able to start a conversation with a stranger or group of strangers and have them accept you and want to talk to you. Some might call this social validation. Furthermore guys think that if they were to attempt to move the conversation forward it might not work and then they will have lost the conversation and their chance.

This is bullshit thinking.

You can't fuck a conversation, or a phone number.

In order to actually get to a sexualized interaction, you are going to need to be willing to move things forward.

When you do this not only will you start to separate the women who are only interested in talking and being entertained from the women who are actually interested in you, but you will also begin to stop looking for validation in your interactions with women. When you stop caring about whether or not things are going nicely and start looking at what you need to be doing in order to move things forward with the woman you're interested in, you actually have a chance to get laid.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, August 19, 2011

Good Places To Meet Women Over The Weekend...



Hey guys,

There's a lot of fun places you can meet women over the weekend, besides the usual bars and clubs.

Here's a list of my favorite places to meet women over the weekend.

1. The Mall. The mall is a great place to meet women on the weekend. A ton of women who go out on Friday night and end up going home alone and disappointed then head to the mall for a little retail therapy and would welcome the chance to meet a great guy to go out with the next night.

2. Grocery stores. Ditto on the mall except a lot of girls do their shopping for the week on Sunday.

3. Hikes. A lot of women hike. Personally I don't like to hike but the few times I've ventured out to the Malibu canyon trails I've seen a ton of hotties.

4. Fancy brunch places. Women love brunch, as it's an excuse to drink champagne during the day and eat a variety of sweet pancakes and such.

5. Bed Bath and Beyond. Bed Bath and Beyond is like 99% women. This is one of my secret places that I'm loathe to give away but there's a lot of potential at the Bed Bath and Beyond on the weekend.

Hope that gives guys some options besides da club this weekend.

JS

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A primer on asking questions



One of the biggest misunderstandings guys seem to have involving social skills is how and when to use questions.

Back in the day when I got involved in the whole Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community (SUISC) most of my teachers considered asking a woman a question in the first few minutes of an interaction equivalent to spitting herpes blood in her eye.

There were tactics and posts about turning questions into statements and of course the rise of routines etc...

But there never seemed to be a guide to how and when to use questions. Being that I am by far the most normal of the pickup instructors I set out to understand how I was able to ask questions and not get a bad response early on.

Turns out questions are not the worst thing in the world even during the beginning of a conversation, instead what really dooms guys when asking questions is the follow-up.

Most guys ask questions like this:

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Cool, what do you do there?

Most guys (especially on bootcamps) follow up questions with a ratifier(Agreeing that what the girl said is cool or acceptable) followed by asking another question. This is BORING, and doesn't demonstrate anything interesting or attractive about you.

There's nothing inherently boring about the question but the way it's followed up, makes me want to stab the fictional guy in the jaw.

Instead you want to use questions early on to either tease, transition to a new conversational subject or to relate and play up a commonality between you and the girl.

Let's look at each of these:

Teasing
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Uh oh SD girls love to party, mental note do not date this girl.

Transitioning
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Oh I love San Diego I usually go down there to do a little surfing. I'm a big surfer ad SD is great because...

Relating
Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: I went to college in San Diego did you ever go to Roberto's best mexican food ever...

Now obviously there are unlimited ways to use questions when talking to a girl you're attracted to, but this post should give you a good idea about how to use questions to keep a conversation moving forward.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, August 15, 2011

Rating Yourself


One of the things the pickup community and guys in general are known for is rating women on a 1-10 scale.

In fact if you were to peruse the online communities or thousands of pages of material out there, you would no doubt see tons of women broken down or described simply by what a guy thought they were based on their looks and his own arbitrary scale.

What you won't see however, and what I want to discuss today is the idea of rating yourself.

What a lot of guys fail to understand is that "game" is only one part of this valuation process.

For example, let's say you weigh 400LBS but you have great game, you're still going to struggle with cold approaches simply because no matter how great your game is, it's not going to erase the obesity.

Same thing with being unemployed, living at home, etc...

Your whole life factors into your evaluation, but just to keep it simple for the kiddies at home, I'll give you my evaluation formula that I use with my private coaching students.

Self Evaluation Formula:

1. Looks- On a 1-10 scale where are you? I'm about a 7 based on putting various pics up on Hot or not. Looks(Including fashion and physical fitness) are about 30% of the evaluation. But luckily you're a guy so you can add 2 points simply by getting in better shape, getting a new haircut and getting new clothes. There is no excuse to be less than a 5 on this scale.

2. Social Status- Social status can be a trickier thing to figure out since it's based on your social status at the time of meeting the girl rather than your overall status in life. For example a Fortune 500 executive could have little to no status at a bar or club whereas a part time bartender will. Status is about 30% of the evaluation. Status will get you a ton of girls interest no matter where that status is obtained. Think your geeky friend who kills it with depressed theater chicks because he runs the theater for minimum wage.

3. Game (or social skills)- Game is a much smaller part of this than most people realize. If you are a 4 in the looks and status department, game can help you get girls who are 4s and possibly a girl whose a 5 or a 6, but it's not making up the 6 point gap between a 4 and a 10. Game is 10%.

4. Value you add to her life- This is the big one. It's also the one most guys reading this completely ignore or undervalue. Dating is a value exchange process. While it is valuable to be able to stimulate women emotionally, connect, and give them orgasms, it's still not enough value to keep most women's interest especially if you're less physically attractive and have lower status than the woman you're approaching(IE all of us). The Value you add to her life is also 30% of the evaluation.

Most guys fail to work on the 3 areas outside of just "Game" and then get frustrated because even when they have a basic understanding they can't seem to bridge the gap to the girls they actually want, mostly because they're only focusing on 10% of the issue.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content











Monday, August 01, 2011

Blog Break

Hey there,

I know everyone was tuning in for more war on the game stuff, but I'm going to be going on a 2 week break from writing the blog/making videos to re-charge creatively so that I can get back to cranking out quality posts as opposed to what I've been writing the past few weeks/months.

So I'll be back in 2 weeks, hopefully with my content writing fastball back.

Best,

JS

Friday, July 29, 2011

This week in Fuck You: Peacocking

In a complete theft from the people over at Kissing Suzy Kolber.com I'll be posting random rants about things that are fucked up in the SUISC this week in Fuck You: Peacocking

If you still think it's cool to "peacock" with boas and scarves and various feathery things that look like they were transplanted out of a Motley Crue 80s video, I should be allowed to legally light you on fire. No trial, no right to a defense straight to lighting your shitty dollar store boa on fire.

Seriously, if for some reason you think people are laughing with you rather than at you when you dress up in platform shoes, and top hats go fuck yourself with a rusty screwdriver.

Not only do you look SUPER socially retarded (Which you are cause no normal person would dress like that) but you're also hurting your pick-ups, because unless you have a reason to be dressed like that (I.E. you lie to women about being the world's best illusionist like Mystery) then you just look like an asshat who is starving for attention.

Fuck you peacocking, fuck you in your shiny faux leather, shirt too far unbuttoned, 8 rings on your hands ass.

JS

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Rejection Barrier

One of the things I've realized recently is that every student has a certain number of rejections they can handle in a row before they mentally break.

This is ironic because there is also a specific number of rejections after which you stop seeing rejection as that big of a deal.

Rejections don't tend to be these big dramatic things that most guys think of when it comes to approaching a woman.

You're not going to get slapped, you're not going to get made fun of, and you're not going to get a drink thrown on you. Instead most likely the girl is just going to walk away or excuse herself.

It's important to understand that rejection is a part of the game, anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.

So what is this rejection barrier?

It seems to vary from student to student based on their levels of approach anxiety, the way they view rejection, self esteem and how badly they want success.

For most students on bootcamps it seems like after 6 or so rejections they need to take a little break.

Other guys I've taught in coaching programs seem to be able to plow through 30-40 before they start complaining about pickup being a lot of work.

I myself once had 90 in a row, which sucked...

The key to dealing with rejection is to look at it as not only a necessary part of the game, but also as one step closer to success.

The last thing to keep in mind, is that the girl isn't rejecting you, and I don't mean that in the sort of "It's her problem" misogynistic way. What I mean is when you approach a woman she doesn't have time to get to know the real you. In fact by the time I sleep with a girl neither of us have yet see the real core of the other person. The girl is rejecting the way you approached her, which is always something you can fix with practice.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Right Mindset

People often talk ask me what my mindset is about meeting girls, dating, pick up etc...

So I figured I should write a post about what I believe to be the perfect mindset for getting better at pickup.

Ready for it?

You have to not care, but still do the approaches.

And this is where the difficulty comes in.

Most guys who are reading this care too much. They think that getting a girlfriend or being able to get laid regularly is magically going to fix their lives and make them happy. Or they believe the marketing hype that they can get amazing results with women quickly with no time effort or energy and they care about getting the results they were promised. Or they get competitive or make getting women some sort of measurement of how successful of a guy they are and they have to be better then this guy or get X amount of girls into bed a month.

The point is they(You and me) care about this shit too much.

If you took the average guy off the street and asked him on a 1-100 scale how much he cares about getting laid more than he is right now, the majority of them would say 51% they would prefer to get laid more than they are versus the alternative, but they aren't willing to put the time effort and energy into it.

If you took the average guy who is involved in this stuff they would say 85-90%. Or in other words getting more girls or getting laid is THE most important thing in their lives.

This is a mindset that is going to fail you both in the short term and the long term. In the short term Pickup is hard in the beginning and if it's the most important thing in your life, you're going to be failing at what you consider the most important thing in the world which will make you feel bad. In the long term it makes you either hugely bitter (If you never get success) or feel like your entire life and whole sense of self worth is directly related to whether or not a stranger likes you...

Hopefully the past few paragraphs have illustrated why you shouldn't care so much about this stuff. Take it for what it is one of MANY different ways to meet women. There is no prize for being great at cold approach, nor does anyone other than YOU care about your sex life.

But if you stop caring completely then why even approach? Why not just continue to sit on the couch and waste away?

So how do you reconcile these two ideas into the right mindset?

You care about trying.

That's it.

You only need to care that you are actually making an effort. If you're making an effort and the results aren't coming, you can feel good knowing you did your best. You don't have to be perfect with women or some sort of "master pick up artist" all you have to do is care about trying, do the approaches and not worry about the rest.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, July 18, 2011

Who Let The Marketers in, Neil Strauss did...

Hey y'all(Shut up I lived in Texas for 2 years I get a Y'all)


Today's video is outstanding if I do say so myself.




Best,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, July 15, 2011

Conversation Before Attraction

Quick post before I head out to the beach...

I'm always amazed by how many guys seek to get attraction before they have gotten a girl committed to a conversation.

Most people are nice.

Contrary to popular opinion in the community, most girls are not trying to blow you out or be rude to you.

Instead the vast majority of guys start doing weird things to "generate attraction" before the girl even realizes she is in a conversation.

Stop doing this!

Instead focus on first getting a woman interested and paying attention to what you are saying BEFORE you try to get her attracted.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Used Carsalesman Frame

One of the biggest problems I notice with my private coaching students, is an inability to be persistent enough especially in the early stage of an approach.

It's very common for guys to throw out an opener or even worse a cocky and funny comment or observation and then not following up.

Sometimes a guy can even eke out a few follow-up comments extending the joke or bantering a bit, then the woman laughs and walks away.

What happened in these situations was the woman was interested in the comment, but it lacked the context of "I want to have a conversation with you."

The guy failed to move the conversation forward or "transition."

But the issue goes deeper, oftentimes guys will throw out 2-3 transitions or observations, stories etc, and the girl is still standing there talking to them, but isn't really emotionally reacting or investing. Oftentimes she'll even have a look on her face that says " Why are you talking to me?"

What most guys do in this situation is leave, oftentimes cursing the material, the girl or cold approaching in general.

The problem here is that most guys just aren't pushy enough when it comes to women.

Oftentimes this is in complete contrast to their normal personalities or work lives where they may be high powered executives, cutthroat salesmen, or bulldog lawyers.

What I normally do in these situations is recommend what I call the pushy used car salesman frame.

Think of yourself as needing to sell a woman on you a little bit. It's all well and great to talk about being a prize and having women chase you, you CANNOT do that until a woman is interested.

Sometimes I even think to myself " what's it going to take to get this girl into some sex tonight?" which is similar to the classic what's it gonna take to get you into this car question.

Hope that helps,

JS

Monday, July 11, 2011

War On The Game: In Neil's Own Words...

Yo,

Today video is Neil talking about his own scumbaggetry.



Enjoy,

JS

Friday, July 08, 2011

Limited Time Offer For 5 Minute Chemistry

Earlier this week, I closed the doors on registration
for my brand new, groundbreaking Secrets of 5
Minute Chemistry program.

But because I made the mistake of closing it down on
a holiday where a lot of guys were away from their
computers, I've decided to open up spots again for
the next 48 hours ONLY.

Get your copy here:

Last Chance

The 5 Minute Chemistry Formula that you learn
in the program truly is groundbreaking and might
be the best thing I've created.

Here's what one guy who went through the program
had to say about it:

"Since I started using the formula, I have been
getting crazy chemistry with girls in a matter
of minutes.

For example I recently started a conversation with
a sexy lawyer on my lunch break. We effortlessly
connected and found out we both go to the same dive
bar that everyone in town hates.

The conversation seemed to have a 'spark,' since
she has been texting me non-stop. I particularly
like how easy it was to incorporate the formula
into my everyday normal conversations that
flowed naturally.

I haven't had to memorize a routine or think
about what to say ever again!"

NICK N.
CINCINATTI, OHIO

If you want to create amazing chemistry and have
the effortless conversations that Nick is having, then
I suggest you grab your copy of the program before
it's gone for good:

Last Chance

Best,

JS

P.S. The Secrets of 5 Minute Chemistry program
is only going to be availalble for the next 48
hours. Sign up right now while it's fresh
on your mind:

Last Chance

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Shut the Fuck Up!!! or How to use silence effectively

Hey there,

Today I wanted to address something that is a big sticking point for most guys who are intermediate-advanced (myself and 99% of instructors included).

You talk too goddamn much...

Once guys learn how to keep a conversation going forever, they forget that sometimes talking more is not the best solution. And that often the more you talk, the more likely you are to say something stupid or even worse use some sort of tactic or technique incorrectly.

Instead once you've HOOKED a conversation, oftentimes it's a good idea to shut up, smile(this is KEY as you don't ant to stop talking and stare like a serial killer) and see what the girl does.

One of the problems with talking too much is that it eliminates the inherent tension present when a man approaches a woman. This tension is what allows escalation to happen, when the woman becomes more comfortable with an escalating interaction than she was with the underlying tension in the silence.

It also provides a great opportunity to see where the girl is. Oftentimes I'll shut up thinking I'm still trying to get attraction and the woman will respond to my silence by asking a deeper question or by simply giving me a compliment.

Again I want to remind you that this is for guys who HOOK sets. It's never a good idea to start a conversation with a woman, and then shut up, UNTIL she is actively participating in the conversation and would rather you talk to her than leave. Until that point you gotta run your mouth, but after that it's a good idea to shut up and see what happens.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, June 27, 2011

War On The Game: What 100K buys ya...

Hey hey,

Today I have an informational video on what you can buy if you have an extra 100k laying around.

Check it:



JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Bare Minimum

Short post today, really more of a reminder.

There is NO prize for getting extra social comfort, attraction, qualification, comfort or arousal.

Instead we should all (Myself included) be aiming for the bare minimum amount of communication between us and the women before we can have sex.

Think about that for a few minutes, what is the bare minimum way that you could:

-Start a conversation
-Tease a woman
-Make a woman emotional
-Build attraction
-Convey value
-Qualify
-Build Comfort
-Seduce

Food for thought eh?

Post some ideas in the comments section and if there's any good ones, I'll share them in a follow up post...

JS-The King of Content

Monday, June 20, 2011

War On The Game: The Hypocrisy of Neil knows no bounds...

What's going on?

Happy Monday! That most glorious of days where we shine a spotlight of truth onto the algae soaked Rat's underbelly that Neil Strauss calls a life.

Let's get it popping.



Leave a comment cause I love haters :)

JS- The King Of Content

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

On Approach Anxiety- Risk is volatility NOT loss.

I read Howard Marks' book "The Most Important Thing" a few weeks ago. The book is a collection of interoffice memos within Oaktree Financial(The company he and Warren Buffet run together).

The book is interesting for anyone looking to get an insight into what has made Oaktree successful over the years, but it also had an idea that I think applies to most guys in regards to approach anxiety.

I happen to think of most things related to pick up on a risk/return continuim. There are no rewards without risk when it comes to meeting women.

In "The Most Important Thing" Marks makes a point of explaining that risk when applied to investments is not necessarily about guaranteed loss, but rather volatility. What this means is that risk doesn't guarantee a loss as much as it guarantees that we DON'T KNOW what is going to happen next.

So how does this apply to approach anxiety?

Simple.

Most guys when they see an opportunity to approach a new woman don't look at it through a risk/reward continuim. Instead they start to assess the situation based on what they think they have to LOSE.

Most guys due to this misunderstanding of risk as loss rather than volatility (or what I'll refer to as the unknown for the rest of this post) Fail to even get themselves to approach.

You have to understand that each different approach a unique and free standing situation. You also have to avoid the gambler fallacy and the tendency to project past performance as a precursor of future success or failure.

The key is to remember that the unknown is always a factor in approaching, but the unknown is not always a loss.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, June 13, 2011

War On The Game: "Think Tank"

Yo,

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

We found the think tank post...



Generalissimo Jon Sinn

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

War On The Game: Rob Judge Does The Damn Thing

I usually restrict the War on the Game stuff to Monday but today Rob Judge(Who I think is easily the best writer in the SUISC) posted an epic article on why he hates Neil Strauss.

It brought almost brought a tear to my eye...

Check it out:

Why I Hate Neil Strauss

JS

Monday, June 06, 2011

War On The Game: Fuck Stylelife

The War is back on:




Be sure to comment

JS

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Kristens and Karas

I had this thought the other day while trying to figure out what all the women I really get along with have in common. Besides alcoholism, Narcissism and sarcasm. Or the 3 ISMs as I like to call them :)

This is what I came up with, there are two kind of girls I date. Kristens and Karas.

Kristen obviously was the last girl I had serious feelings for, and has been mentioned on this blog (and an unfortunate podcast) several times including the fact that she dumped me.

A Kristen, is a girl you could see yourself with possibly for good( At least for normal people as opposed to myself). Kristens are hot, but also really together and smart. I called these girls Kristens not because I'm still harboring feelings for her, or feel like she was the one who got away, but because a girl like this becomes the comparison for every girl you date after her. Unfortunately not that many Kristens exist. Especially on the west coast.

Kara was a girl I was seeing earlier this year (Ironically right after Kristen) who I couldn't wait to break up with, despite her being perfect "on paper".

A Kara is a girl who is pretty, and smart and has a lot going for her, but there just isn't the same spark as there is with a Kristen. Karas are good "on paper" meaning that if I sit down and try to think about why I'm less and less into spending time with a girl like this I can't come up with anything tangible like " She's gained weight" or " She's a bitch when she's drunk." So instead I always have to describe why I'm not into a girl with ethereal definitions like "Spark" or "Click". Which is especially tough for someone who thrives on clear and unambiguous logic like myself. Karas are the girls who I know are going to make someone out there a really nice girlfriend, it's just not going to be me. Karas probably tend to get hurt by me the most because I actually don't care about them that much. As bad as that sounds.

Once I figured this out, the question became are the girls I'm seeing now Kristens or Karas?

Though to be honest I probably already knew the answer.

One girl I'm seeing, I legitimately don't like hanging out with(Yes I realize this is stupid but it's easy and.... I really have no justification) we basically have sex more than we speak. She's young and like most 18 yr olds just doesn't have much to say. Her body is sick though.

Another girl is a definite Kara. She's a hair stylist which in my opinion is the number 1 loser occupation girls get into. Haristylists and make-up artists to a lesser degree are professional partiers. And Lame. Unfortunately a fair amount of hair stylists are hot :(

Then there's Jesse. Jesse definitely has some Kristen potential. She's really funny.She's low maintenance, dram free and easy going. She smokes weed. She works at an Abercrombie and Fitch which if she were older than 20 would be a big issue. She's also an artist. There's literally nothing bad I can say about the girl. But she's still a Kara. And she's gonna get hurt when things end. It's like I can see this train heading straight for her, and she has NO idea it's coming. I don't even wanna stop hanging out with her, I just know I will one day.

It's just not there and I can't explain why.

JS- The king of content