Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Gold Diggers and Distant Fathers.

Here's a pretty deep female psych piece so if that is not interesting to you, I don't know what to tell ya that doesn't begin with F and end in off.

One of the things I've noticed recently both from interacting with some of my friends with sugar daddies and this new girl I'm seeing, is the direct relationship between how the girl's father showed affection and how the girl currently gets feels attraction.

Every girl I've ever met who was a "Gold-digger" had a weird relationship with their dads. No great shock here, the only thing more obvious would be suggesting that all strippers have Daddy issues. But the specific nature of the relationship, became more clear to me when I was talking to this girl we'll call Danielle. Unlike most Gold-Diggers I've met Danielle comes from a relatively poor family. Her dad lived across town from her, but only showed up every couple of months to take her out to eat or bring her a few presents. Coincidentally,the way this girl feels someone likes her is when they buy/give her things. Even if it's something small like a drink or a pair of sandals at the beach.

The emotional distance, combined with him using material gifts instead of time, love, and guidance, produced a woman who is incapable at this point in her life of loving a man in the conventional terms. She just doesn't know how to do it. Nor do a lot of women who are "Gold-Diggers". Including Tamra Barney of The Realhouswives of OC, and Kori of Bad Girls Club Season 6. Both "Gold-Diggers" who have publicly admitted to having these kinds of relationships with their dads.

I think most Dating coaches would explain gold digging as a "Survival" tactic. Like when Mystery used to say that he would rather feed a girl a piece of food from his plate than buy her dinner, because of the evolutionary subtext. While I think there's a part of that which is true, I think more than nature, NURTURE is what creates our habits and emotions. Nurture is why the purple Nike cult drank strichnine laced kool-aid and some even served it to their children. Nurture is why terrorists drove a plane into the World Trade Center on September 11th. And IMO nurture is responsible for gold-digging behavior.

I'm not a huge fan of Freud (Mostly because he did more coke than a Columbian cartel),but I do think he was on to something with his ideas about our mothers and fathers and the issues they create in how we process and feel loved.

The flip side of this is girls who get along really well with their dads like this girl I was seeing until a few months ago Kelly. These girls tend to be more self reliant, independent, and together. They also tend to have too many dude friends for my liking, but that is a topic for another post entitled "never trust a girl who doesn't get along with other girls."

Til Next time,

JS-The King Of Content.

16 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:50 PM

    I heard so many gold digger story since I moved to Orange county.

    They marry not just one time,three times maybe more.

    I feel really sad to hear about my friends' mom.They are more attached to dad.Because they see what mom done to their father.

    It's really sad but there some women who use marriage as their business or something.It's so sad to know born the result of gold digging.

    Their lack of love from dad also creates lack of love from mom latter?Dad relates not money activities and mom only give money can buy.This is vicious circle.


    I heard they look normal until they start to fleece money from dad.It's still cute to show trait early stage,people can avoid her for serious relationship.But still some men controlled by emotion and fall into her tactics though.

    Use condom and learn to have option of women is your advice?

    This advice tells how to detect not sophisticated gold diggers,do you have some advice for detecting sophisticate one?

    I have been hearing so many sad stories.

    Do you think if you can control frame well,you can control those gold diggers?I believe they don't have kids just for money and I really want to believe so.

    Do you think you can tame them like circus guy tame the Tigers or Lions??Divorce is the only solution?

    It is not reality show.It is very Real in orange county.I really feel sorry for my friends.

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  2. Anonymous1:17 PM

    "I'm not a huge fan of Freud (Mostly because he did more coke than a Columbian cartel)"

    I think you are lying to yourself here Sinn. That's not a valid excuse to not like someone especially since you reference and talk about so many other people on your blog that have done far worse things

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  3. Anonymous2:15 PM

    i'm looking forward to the never trust a girl article

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  4. Anonymous8:59 PM

    Nurture is why the purple Nike cult drank strichnine laced kool-aid and some even served it to their children.
    ==
    Good point. Evolution would seem to say that there is no way humans could develop some crazy belief that would override our desire to replicate our genes through raising healthy children. But we do. Nurture (including culture) can defeat both the drive to survive and to replicate.

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  5. Perhaps Kelly over-identified with her father. Jung would say that she had not successfully resolved her Electra complex. She was still competing with her mother for her father, rather than befriending her mom.

    Later in life, this might lead to the problems you were seeing. The relationship with Dad would lead to her competing for a ton of male attention. Good for you in the short run, but one man's attention might not be enough. It would also lead her to competing with other women, rather than being friends with them.

    Essentially, it helps to pay attention to relationships with "both" parents...as well as the dynamics of their marriage. Each piece has an impact. Good eye overall though. It is amazing the impact this stuff has later in life!

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  6. Anonymous5:23 AM

    Culture cannot defeat anything long term in broader sense of suvival of the spiecies. Nature keeps culture on a leash and vice versa to some extent. If one species was all about culture without prexisting drives they would loose with species preconditioned to learn faster things that are more adaptable. But species without any elasticity would also loose in that race hence modern evoltion theory has embraced cultural aspect of transmision of information. Adaptation by learning is nature, nurture is possible because of nature and that dualism is kinda wrong.

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  7. Dr. Dupree6:09 AM

    "never trust a girl who doesn't get along with other girls."

    Too many dude friends? I agree.

    I was seeing a chick like this in NYC for a few months until last October.

    I look forward to your words about this....

    Cousin Dupree

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  8. Anonymous8:04 AM

    Wow, interesting, thanks for sharing.

    I am looking forward to the never trust a girl article, too. :-)

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  9. Anonymous3:39 PM

    >never trust a girl who doesn't get along with >other girls

    I just dated a girl like this.

    What's with that anyhow? This girl said she didn't like other girls + instead has lots of male friends. Hmmm.

    What's happening there?

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  10. Anonymous3:47 PM

    Oh how synchronicity always arrives on time.
    I literally just virtually met you and your material yesterday and already feel an odd sense ov integratable kinship [no homo?]. I was thinking earlier this morning ov what your input might be in advising a father on how to successfully parent his daughter[s] to avoid becoming a sexual six piece chicken nugget meal ie a quick snack. I can already glean the jist ov your an answer to that question from this post, thus the sync reference.
    Looking forward to exchanging, splicing, and generating enhancing, profitable memes.

    zer0/po.nt

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  11. Dude you have some creepy followers ha ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous10:34 AM

    yeah, ha ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous5:41 PM

    ha, yeah yeah yeah

    o_O

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous2:35 PM

    where is the new post :( shit i'm addicted!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous10:34 AM

    Yea man, I think all strippers have daddy issues!

    ReplyDelete
  16. That's a great insight about the psychology of gold-diggers, it makes a lot of sense, and makes you think that maybe it's not their fault. Just one thing... it's "colombian" instead of "columbian", and that cartel thing isn't a good stereotipe of us anyway. If you care, of course

    ReplyDelete