Monday, April 30, 2012

The One Interesting Chapter in The Upside of Irrationality


 The Upside of Irrationality is a boring book.

 It's the sequel to Predictably Irrational which I don't think helps you understand dating as much as it helps you understand that people are prone to irrational behavior which you'll see in dating time and again.

There is however one good chapter in The Upside Of Irrationality on of all things online dating. The chapter contends that online dating is a market in failure. There are a series of experiments that back up this idea in the chapter but much of it is focused on how online dating doesn't simulate a real date because you are essentially window shopping based on pictures and a few descriptions that anyone with half a brain could fake.

There's also some good stuff on ugly people and how they rationalize not being able to get the mates they really desire.

 It's probably not worth reading the whole book, but if you have 30-45 minutes free to read the chapter it's pretty interesting.

 Word.

 JS

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

My Thoughts On The Guy/Chick Debate


 Man Do I Hate The New Blogger....

 Seriously I hate that shit with a passion, and hope it dies.

 Anyway I read your comments including Captain Jack saying it's best to be a pirate which I think is true...

I think it's easier to be a dude in most situations.

The exceptions being a hot 20 something girl in LA, Vegas, NYC, or Miami who literally has the world by the balls.

Though it is WAY easier to end up alone as a dude...

There are quite a few pluses such as:

 1. No child birth- No thanks to passing a kid out of my body. You know ho wannoying it is when you have to take a shit? Imagine that for 9 months, no thanks.
 2. No fear of rape- I mean outside of jail.
 3. Not always judged by our appearance
 4. Our looks don't fade as bad
 5. They make less money $$$

 So there you have it, be happy you're a dude even if you can't get no pussy!
 
 JS

Monday, April 23, 2012

Is It Easier To Be A Girl Or A Dude


I was out with one of my friends yesterday getting our day drink on, when he started telling a group of girls someything like " Its easier to be a girl because even if you never make money you can always find a guy who's rich so that adds to your income.

That's actually a lot more clear as I'm not writing this after drinking 12 Vodka sodas.

 But it got me thinking, is it easier to be a girl or a dude.

When it comes to dating it's WAY easier to be a girl, they don't have to approach, pay for dates, etc...

When it comes to work and making money it's better to be a dude as guys still make on average something like 15% more than women for doing the same jobs.

Women live longer though...

And on and on the list goes.

Since we've been getting a lot of comments on here lately (Cuz I'm awesome) I figured I'd start the week off by asking what you guys and girls think?

Overall is it harder to be a guy or a girl?

 JS

Monday, April 16, 2012

You Can't Learn From "Naturals"

Looks like I lit a match with the Fat guy post so here's some more gas to throw on it.

The community is OBSESSED with the idea of "Naturals" these magical creatures that are good with women despite NEVER having studied or learned our tactics and techniques.

Seriously do a google search for Puas and naturals it's kinda crazy.

But here's the rub, you can't really learn from naturals because they don't know what they're doing that makes them successful, and they don't understand a guy who is unsuccessful with women's thoughts, fears and neurosises, which is why they give terrible advice like "Be yourself" or "Tell them what they want to hear" or my personal favorite " The key is to talk to girls like they're a piece of shit."

It'd be like asking Lebron James to explain how he drives the lane in an NBA game, he'd say something like " I grab the rebound, dribble down the court as quick as possible, jump, have 2-3 guys bounce off me then I lay it up."

It's an accurate representation of what's happening, but it's not gonna help someone who is 5-9, and white.

Which is exactly why "Naturals" can't help you, because you're not like them. I always laugh when guys say they've become "Naturals".

No you didn't.

You know why?

Because you still had to learn this stuff even if you now get success and it feels like you aren't doing anything ( I admit I totally was guilty of this for awhile)

It's like that scene in the Social Network when Zuckerburg says something like "If you invented Facebook you would have invented Facebook."

If you were a Natural you wouldn't be in the community unless you're a weirdo like Zan who needs validation and worshippers.

Get over the Natural thing guys it's not helping you.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Mythical Creature Of Pick-Up: The Fat Guy With Game

There are many mythical creatures in the land of Pick-up, there's the mythical guy who can pick up girls without talking, there's the guy who can out game celebrities and there's my personal favorite; The Fat Guy with game.

Question, if a dirty 5 dollar street hooker, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and A fat guy with game are walking down the street and see a $5 dollar bill, who gets it?

Think about it...

The answer is the dirty $5 dollar hooker because the other 3 guys are figments of your imagination.

In now 8 years of actively going out and trying to meet guys with game, I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER seen a guy who was fat with game.

And I mean fat fat not fat like Nick Savoy who is a tall skinny guy with a big gut. I mean so fat that when you first see him you're only thought is man that guy is fucking fat. Chubby don't count.

In fact I would go so far as to say this, if a pickup teacher advertises that their shit works even if you're obese, clutch on to your money and run in the opposite direction.

If you're fat, women will talk to you if you approach them (Unless it's direct then they'll usually keep walking) but you are instantly screened out as having any sexual potential whatsoever. I've seen it on many bootcamps and I always tell the dude he needs to lose weight before he decides to try to learn game.

Gym before Pick-up is one of the golden rules for actually getting results at this stuff.

JS

Monday, April 09, 2012

Locus Of Control and Pickup

In psychology they have a great term that makes you sound really smart and explains a lot of human behavior.

It's the idea of internal Vs external loci of control.

Here's how I think about it, let's say you're stuck in traffic probably because you live in Los Angeles but I digress. If you're in traffic, the traffic is a part of your external locus of control in other words it's out of your control, you can bang the wheel, honk, etc... but that traffic is going anywhere. There is nothing you can do to make the traffic disappear.

On the other hand your own reaction and the route you take while driving is very much within your internal locus of control. You can decide if you want to freak out or relax, and if you want to stay on the freeway or try surface streets and that's about it.

Now when it comes to Pickup as much as other gurus would like you to believe that if you buy their product or take a bootcamp EVERYTHING will be within your locus of control, it's not true.

Here's some things that are within your control:
Your looks
How often you approach
Conversational tactics
How hard you push
Logistics on a date

Here's things that are OUTSIDE your control:
What her type of guy is
If she's in a relationship
How busy her life is
Whether or not she returns your initial call/text
Her logistics in a bar

My point here is to illustrate that inevitably there are things that are going to be outside of your control with women. Often times this will be frustrating but just knowing that you can't control everything should bring a level of freedom and relaxation to your interactions as you realize you don't have to nor is it possible to control everything.

If you want to add things to either list feel free in the comments.

JS-The King of Content

Friday, April 06, 2012

The Blonde Thing...

Guys in the community love them some blondes, in this post I'm going to attempt to explain why.

First let's get a few things out of the way, In the very interesting book "Cirque Du Soleil" Diane Dimond has a few great passages about why blondes captivate. Because I'm too lazy to look these up we can summarize it thusly: Blondes capture our attention more because the light hits the hair and creates something of a miniature halo effect, combined with the fact that we've had 50 years of Blondes as sexy stereotypes starting with Marilyn Monroe.

Secondly I don't have a particular fascination with blondes even though the majority of girls I date happen to be blonde. I don't really have a type outside of has big boobs. So I don't think I have a bias here.

Third, I have consistently watched guys in the community overrate girls attractiveness due to the girl being blonde. To the point where I think most community guys would rather have a 6 with blonde hair than an 8 who is a brunette. My friend Ron and I always joke that to be an 8 to a community guy all you need to be is blonde and thin.

But why?

I have two theories:

Theory A: The High School Validation Theory. At some point (probably in high school hence the name) most nerdy guys developed a crush on a girl out of their league, like a cheerleader or popular girl who most likely was blonde. For me it was a girl named Jamie Doyen. Then when you don't get this girl you file her away under the mental label "I'd be a winner if I could get girls like that."

Honestly I think this problem is most pronounced in Foreign guys most notably Asians and Indians. Because they probably encountered some form of racism when dating and weren't able to get the hot blonde girl early on, these guys tend to be obsessed with them, and view getting blondes as the ultimate sign that they have arrived. In 8 years of teaching I could count the number of Asian/Indian students who were not obsessed with getting blondes on 1 hand.

Theory B: The Blondes Have More Fun Theory. The second reason I think guys are obsessed with blondes is the idea that blondes are somehow dumber, and easier than their brunette sisters. Which is a great piece of girl hate in action as well as a great theme to talk to brunette girls about. Guys think that those blonde party chicks dancing on the bar are easy, when in fact those girls tend to mostly be in it for the attention. But because it looks and acts like a duck (or a slut) and there is a stereotype out there we think it's easier to get with blondes which if you look at the results of most guys who don't have good coaching simply isn't true.

Anyway I think this is a fascinating phenomenon and it's worth taking a look to see if you are artificially inflating girls looks in your mind because of their hair color.

JS

Monday, April 02, 2012

Girls as Options Traders

One of the things that is hardest for guys to understand when it comes to dating is why women flake.

So to help you understand this I want to present a thought experiment.

Think of women especially attractive women as options traders every night of the week.

Now obviously there will be a couple of nights a week where she wants to relax, but for the most part attractive women in their 20s and early 30s are open to doing something most nights.

This is where the issue comes in, most guys believe they are WAY more important to women they just met than they actually are. The cold approach guy (Unless he really connected with the girl emotionally, or she's new to town, doesn't know many people etc) is going to be pretty low on the options list depending on where a girl is in her life (the exception here is if the girl is actively single and looking to date a lot). Cold approach guy (CAG) is going to be below a guy she's been crushing on for awhile, a great party, and any existing social obligation with her girls, co-workers etc...

So that sounds depressing right?

Not really because it gives us some ideas of how to alter our approach to getting girls out.

1. We need to start with low option nights. I was talking to Rob Judge yesterday and we were both amazed by how often new students will ask girls out for Fri or Sat and be surprised when the girl can't make it/flakes. On a Fri and Sat there are LOTS of options! Those are the nights most of her friends/etc will be going out. She's also more likely to be attending parties or events (wedding showers, Openings). This is WAY less likely on a Tuesday. I don't ask girls out on Tuesdays because I think weekends are for meeting new girls or some other faux player mantra, I do it because it's more effective and there's less competition.

2. You need to present an attractive option. Going for dinner or a drink sounds boring. You need to build intrigue into your date by making it a surprise or really selling it. I don't just invite girls out for kareoke I invite them to the funniest, weirdest kareoke place ever... The more you make the date seem like something that is going to be really fun regardless of the fact she's with you the better it will work.

3. You need to make it easy to say yes. This seems obvious but you'd be amazed how many guys try to overcomplicate things here with the girl. They want to tell her what to wear and they want it to be on their side of town that the girl has to take two trains and a bus to get to. Make it easy for her, the easier it is to show up the more chances she will.

So the next time you're asking a girl out on the phone or over txt think of her as options trader and think of your date as the option you really want her to pick.

JS