Wednesday, August 31, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 3: Easing into it

Day 3 was a cake walk...

I had some problems sleeping the last few nights because I wasn't smoking weed, but a swift adjustment of my no weed rule to a weed to sleep so I don't make my day harder yielded great results and I woke up after 7 and a half hrs sleep ( a marathon for me compared to my usual 4-5 hrs) feeling like a champion gentleman. Or Gentleman champion I can't decide which sounds more baller.

Productivity is way up because instead of complaining about how annoyng actually having to do work is, I now just do it and reflect upon the fact that it's pretty awesome I can do my work from home in my gym shorts.

Traffic again was the only time I even had any sorts of problems and that's mostly due to people not seeming to understand where one lane ends and another one begins. Perhaps I should start teaching seminars on that :)

It's also way easier to meet girls because there's no time or room for negative thoughts and that makes approaching all the time pretty easy.

Still waiting for things to get harder which may happen tomor as I need to deal with some lingering issues in the business and that may stress me a bit. But it will be what it is whether or not I stress it, so I'm gonna try to relax and enjoy the process.



Tuesday, August 30, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 2:Still pretty easy.

I'm pretty surprised by how easy the positivity challenge is going.

Even today while I was out doing some day game it was remarkably easy to stay positive thanks to just consciously thinking about it. And the fact that I'm the best at day game by a wider margin than ever.

The rubber band also makes it really easy to pop those negative thoughts when they come up. I should have mentioned yesterday that the other part of the rubber band is to replace your negative thought with a default positive one. Mine is "Everything always works out for the best for me."

I will say that positivity makes it a bit more challenging to be funny in a conversation with a girl as making jokes about how awesome things are is more difficult than cracking on something for sucking.

Other than that I find myself being much less in my head when I'm focusing on being positive. Introspection for me usually ends up being focused on things I don't like or wish were different. But since those thoughts are negative they get popped and I end up feeling much lighter and more carefree.

The only time today where I really had to snap the rubber band a lot was when I was driving through horrible traffic with a bunch of drivers seemingly incapable of staying in their own lanes. But after a few painful rubber band snaps I was able to relax and enjoy the Watch The Throne Album and amazing 77 degree day.

Until tomor.


Monday, August 29, 2011

7 Day Positivity Challenge Day 1

I've gotten into a pretty bad funk lately...

Not that anything bad is actually happening, but I have noticed that my thinking has become a lot more pessimistic than I'd like it to be.

So, because of that I'm going to be doing another Tony Robbins 7 Day Positivity challenge, like I did a few years ago.

To re-cap the 7 day positivity challenge goes something like this. For 7 days you have to focus on being completely positive, this means if you have a negative thought( like the fact that I got 3 hrs of sleep last night and am exhausted) you have 2 minutes to reframe it using empowering questions like " what's good about this?", "what can I learn from this?" or "what's the best use of my time here?".

This goes on for 7 days.

I've added another piece this year which I got from a program called Mine your brain by Doug Bench. The piece I've added is pretty simple, in addition to having to reframe things, I've also started wearing a rubber band on my wrist which I snap every time I have a negative thought. Doug Bench calls this "stomping your ANTS(Automatic Negative thoughts".

Thus far day 1 has been a challenge as I didn't sleep well at all over the weekend or last night and I now need to be positive while being a little grouchy.

I'm going to try to update this daily during the next 7 days in order to document how my challenge is going, if you want to do the same and comment along that would be swell.

Talk soon,

JS-the king of content

Friday, August 26, 2011

An Open Letter To The Millionaire Matchmaker

We all know I love me some reality TV, so I won't go too much into my thoughts on The Millionaire Matchmaker show other than to say that while it's entertaining, there's a lot of bad ideas about dating being tossed around.

The most dangerous of these ideas in my mind is the idea of monogamy before sex.

The reason that no sex without monogamy is a bad idea is actually pretty simple. A girl is ALWAYS going to be more attractive, interesting, sexy, smart etc BEFORE you have sex with her.

The fact that you haven't had her yet, adds to the perceived attraction. This is a fact. So when you force someone into a monogamous relationship before they can have sex, the motivation for getting into that relationship is 50% interest in the girl and 50% interest in getting laid.

Can we see how this might be a bad idea for someone looking to find love?

Furthermore until you've had sex with someone you don't really know the real them. Pre-sex both guys and girls put their best foot forward in an attempt to really get the other person interested. After sex is when a variety of new issues pop up and need to be dealt with. Sure these COULD be dealt with in the context of a monogamous relationship but you may often find that the two people just don't have that much in common but were united by the idea of no sex before monogamy and thus forced to spend more time with each other and less time looking for someone they might actually work out with.

As you all know if you've followed my work for any length of time, barriers INCREASE attraction. The more you tell someone they can't have something, the more they are going to want it. But this idea does not extend to AFTER they've gotten what they want. And my guess is oftentimes these instant relationships fall apart after sex.

Like the case of Access Hollywood Reporter Laura Saltman who after being set up by Patti with a millionaire became preganant only to have the guy abandon her and refuse to pay child support.

You can read all about that Here Just make sure to scroll down past the Russell Armstrong stuff.

Clearly the idea of no sex before monogamy is a way to artificially create more of an attraction and connection between two people where none exists.

What are your thoughts on the MM and no sex before monogamy?


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What Not To Do On an Approach- Video Breakdown

Hey there,

I was fwd this video and thought I'd write out a few comments on what this guy is doing right and wrong.

The video's pretty funny in and of itself so props for that

Obviously the guy is self amusing with the whole penis pick up idea which goes to show that you can get away with a lot when you're having fun yourself.

This guy has kinda slumping body language though. The first thing I would fix is his posture, he needs to stand up straighter rather than trying to lean like he's nonchalant.

Kong does a good job of transitioning from his functional opener (like asking where the nearest Starbucks or fancy restaurant is) into a statement of intent by admitting he doesn't really care about what he was asking, he really just thought the girl was cute. This is a good tactic when you get a positive response, though it does fall flat a few times in this video because he does it too early. Generally you want to use a statement of intent when the girl seems interested right off the bat.

The main thing that is missing in these approaches is teasing and a transition into attraction material. Kong asks some questions and builds a good amount of social comfort, but he never breaks that comfort in order to generate the necessary emotional momentum to move into the attraction phase. He does use a few disqualifiers like saying he's a big dick, but it comes across more as him being over the top and goofy than as a real disqaulifier that will make the girl want to win him over.

Overall this video was entertaining but I would be surprised if any of those girls answer his calls or texts.

If you really want to learn how to approach even better and more successfully than this guy, check out the video I posted HERE

Hope that helps,

JS-The king of content

Monday, August 22, 2011

You don't have anything yet- On Escalation

One of the most common problems students have when they are first starting out is a tendency to get stuck in nice comfortable conversations that are not actually moving forward.

I think the reason for this is because for most guys starting out it feels really good to be able to start a conversation with a stranger or group of strangers and have them accept you and want to talk to you. Some might call this social validation. Furthermore guys think that if they were to attempt to move the conversation forward it might not work and then they will have lost the conversation and their chance.

This is bullshit thinking.

You can't fuck a conversation, or a phone number.

In order to actually get to a sexualized interaction, you are going to need to be willing to move things forward.

When you do this not only will you start to separate the women who are only interested in talking and being entertained from the women who are actually interested in you, but you will also begin to stop looking for validation in your interactions with women. When you stop caring about whether or not things are going nicely and start looking at what you need to be doing in order to move things forward with the woman you're interested in, you actually have a chance to get laid.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Friday, August 19, 2011

Good Places To Meet Women Over The Weekend...

Hey guys,

There's a lot of fun places you can meet women over the weekend, besides the usual bars and clubs.

Here's a list of my favorite places to meet women over the weekend.

1. The Mall. The mall is a great place to meet women on the weekend. A ton of women who go out on Friday night and end up going home alone and disappointed then head to the mall for a little retail therapy and would welcome the chance to meet a great guy to go out with the next night.

2. Grocery stores. Ditto on the mall except a lot of girls do their shopping for the week on Sunday.

3. Hikes. A lot of women hike. Personally I don't like to hike but the few times I've ventured out to the Malibu canyon trails I've seen a ton of hotties.

4. Fancy brunch places. Women love brunch, as it's an excuse to drink champagne during the day and eat a variety of sweet pancakes and such.

5. Bed Bath and Beyond. Bed Bath and Beyond is like 99% women. This is one of my secret places that I'm loathe to give away but there's a lot of potential at the Bed Bath and Beyond on the weekend.

Hope that gives guys some options besides da club this weekend.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A primer on asking questions

One of the biggest misunderstandings guys seem to have involving social skills is how and when to use questions.

Back in the day when I got involved in the whole Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community (SUISC) most of my teachers considered asking a woman a question in the first few minutes of an interaction equivalent to spitting herpes blood in her eye.

There were tactics and posts about turning questions into statements and of course the rise of routines etc...

But there never seemed to be a guide to how and when to use questions. Being that I am by far the most normal of the pickup instructors I set out to understand how I was able to ask questions and not get a bad response early on.

Turns out questions are not the worst thing in the world even during the beginning of a conversation, instead what really dooms guys when asking questions is the follow-up.

Most guys ask questions like this:

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Cool, what do you do there?

Most guys (especially on bootcamps) follow up questions with a ratifier(Agreeing that what the girl said is cool or acceptable) followed by asking another question. This is BORING, and doesn't demonstrate anything interesting or attractive about you.

There's nothing inherently boring about the question but the way it's followed up, makes me want to stab the fictional guy in the jaw.

Instead you want to use questions early on to either tease, transition to a new conversational subject or to relate and play up a commonality between you and the girl.

Let's look at each of these:

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Uh oh SD girls love to party, mental note do not date this girl.

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: Oh I love San Diego I usually go down there to do a little surfing. I'm a big surfer ad SD is great because...

Guy: Where are you from?
Girl: San Diego
Guy: I went to college in San Diego did you ever go to Roberto's best mexican food ever...

Now obviously there are unlimited ways to use questions when talking to a girl you're attracted to, but this post should give you a good idea about how to use questions to keep a conversation moving forward.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, August 15, 2011

Rating Yourself

One of the things the pickup community and guys in general are known for is rating women on a 1-10 scale.

In fact if you were to peruse the online communities or thousands of pages of material out there, you would no doubt see tons of women broken down or described simply by what a guy thought they were based on their looks and his own arbitrary scale.

What you won't see however, and what I want to discuss today is the idea of rating yourself.

What a lot of guys fail to understand is that "game" is only one part of this valuation process.

For example, let's say you weigh 400LBS but you have great game, you're still going to struggle with cold approaches simply because no matter how great your game is, it's not going to erase the obesity.

Same thing with being unemployed, living at home, etc...

Your whole life factors into your evaluation, but just to keep it simple for the kiddies at home, I'll give you my evaluation formula that I use with my private coaching students.

Self Evaluation Formula:

1. Looks- On a 1-10 scale where are you? I'm about a 7 based on putting various pics up on Hot or not. Looks(Including fashion and physical fitness) are about 30% of the evaluation. But luckily you're a guy so you can add 2 points simply by getting in better shape, getting a new haircut and getting new clothes. There is no excuse to be less than a 5 on this scale.

2. Social Status- Social status can be a trickier thing to figure out since it's based on your social status at the time of meeting the girl rather than your overall status in life. For example a Fortune 500 executive could have little to no status at a bar or club whereas a part time bartender will. Status is about 30% of the evaluation. Status will get you a ton of girls interest no matter where that status is obtained. Think your geeky friend who kills it with depressed theater chicks because he runs the theater for minimum wage.

3. Game (or social skills)- Game is a much smaller part of this than most people realize. If you are a 4 in the looks and status department, game can help you get girls who are 4s and possibly a girl whose a 5 or a 6, but it's not making up the 6 point gap between a 4 and a 10. Game is 10%.

4. Value you add to her life- This is the big one. It's also the one most guys reading this completely ignore or undervalue. Dating is a value exchange process. While it is valuable to be able to stimulate women emotionally, connect, and give them orgasms, it's still not enough value to keep most women's interest especially if you're less physically attractive and have lower status than the woman you're approaching(IE all of us). The Value you add to her life is also 30% of the evaluation.

Most guys fail to work on the 3 areas outside of just "Game" and then get frustrated because even when they have a basic understanding they can't seem to bridge the gap to the girls they actually want, mostly because they're only focusing on 10% of the issue.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, August 01, 2011

Blog Break

Hey there,

I know everyone was tuning in for more war on the game stuff, but I'm going to be going on a 2 week break from writing the blog/making videos to re-charge creatively so that I can get back to cranking out quality posts as opposed to what I've been writing the past few weeks/months.

So I'll be back in 2 weeks, hopefully with my content writing fastball back.