Monday, November 19, 2012

Semi-Advanced Post: Attraction is highest the first time



 Here's one of my big new ideas, about escalation and emotions.

 Once you're good enough at this stuff that you get laid on a regular basis (say 10 new lays a year) then it becomes all about the idea of striking while the iron is hot. The reason being when you have good attraction game, you get the girl as attracted as she can be to someone in the first 10-15 minutes, you can only go two different routes:

1. You can lose attraction as no one(besides George Clooney) can sustain super high levels of emotional attraction (1 of 5 major types of attraction) that long. It's just the nature of emotions that they ebb and flow, which is THE major reason why there will always be a minimal amount of flaking even when setting everything up the right way. Attraction is an emotion of wanting more of a person, place or thing. Like any emotion it dims over time through the very ethereal nature of emotions as a whole.

2. The girl starts trying to play a longer term game as they see you as someone who she's so attracted to that she needs to hold off and try to make you her boyfriend. This is why guys with better attraction game tend to get more Last Minute Resistance and Player Vibe(especially for better looking guys) because they got the girl so attracted she either went past what she was comfortable with (if she was a more prude girl) or she went so fast that she needs to now balance the scales and get the guy to invest a little or she runs the risk of being pumped and dumped.

So how does this affect your game?

Well if you're looking for fast sex, it means you need to do a few things when you see a girl get SUPER attracted to you (Wide huge smile, lots of touching, laughing at things that are not funny in any way, admitting attraction when you use cocky humor etc..)

1. You need to escalate PHYSICALLY. All the verbal escalation stuff is great but what let's you know if you're going to get laid or if you're going to have a girl who's REALLY REALLY excited you're texting her is the touching. You have to learn to trust the touching over EVERYTHING else. I've had girls tell me I wasn't their type, I was too short, and I was too metrosexual for them while letting me grab their ass, makeout with them and remove their clothes on my bed...

2. You need to shit or get off the pot logistically. A lot of guys have girls into them, are making out with them and then NEVER try to get them out of the venue where that can actually turn into sex. This applies DOUBLY for Day Game. When I realized I could invite girls from the mall to my house, I started getting 30X the same day lays I got before. If a girl won't leave with you then she's not sleeping with you that night and you don't need to spend more time with her than it takes to get a phone # she'll respond to.

3. Memorize the phrases "What are you up to Later?" and " What do you have going on Tomorrow?" Sometimes things are really on but there are bad logistics. I met this girl at the mall on a bench and she had to go in 10 minutes but texted me that she was sorry and invited me to a party downtown the next day where we hooked up. The attraction is the highest when you meet, so whether you meet a girl at 10PM on a Friday or Tuesday at 1 on your lunch break you should start by trying to get her to hang out later before moving on to tomor and then later if it doesn't work out. Don't worry about trying to preserve your value by seeming busy strike while the emotions are high.

4. Make it sexual. I've talked about this sooo much in the last few years but once you have attraction you need sexual attraction and they are NOT always one and the same.

So there you have it, a breakdown of what to do when you have a girl soooo into you so it doesn't fade or flake because you waited too long.

JS- The King Of Content

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Get STD Tested!


 I just got back from passing my HIV test with flying colors and I have to say as harrowing of an experience as that is, you NEED to do it and not just for HIV.

Begin Public Service Announcement.

We big up promiscuity a lot in this blog and that's cool but the best kind of sex is safe sex. I always use condoms and get tested at least once a year. That's pretty much all you have to do and trust me if I can do it ( I literally had a panic attack at the Dr today convinced I was going to be told I'm dying) then so can you.

Most STDs are not that big of a deal for men and can be cured with a few pills, obviously HIV is a life ruiner but if you use condoms and don't have sex with women who exchange needles with others you're probably not going to get it. Though that won't stop me from freaking out about it again next year, gotta love hypochondria :)

The year's coming to a close and I know you'll feel better with the peace of mind of getting a clean blood test back, in most cities you can even get a free test that will have you out the door with results within 20 minutes.

That's my good deed for the year back to getting laid content on Fri

JS

Monday, November 12, 2012

"Fools Mate" The Most Low Self Esteem Idea EVER


 I was reading through some psych research this week, and in reading about people with co-dependent personalities I found some really interesting ideas that could be applied to both students who enter the community and the guys who have been teaching for quite some time like me :)

One thing that co-dependent people tend to have, is a need for relations with the opposite sex to be difficult. You can delve into the deep attachment and love style issues that cause this problem but if you don't want to read 1731 pages of Helen Fisher I recommend you take my word for it.

If you start with the idea that co-dependent people need relationships to be more difficult in order to re-create relationships with parents (Distant fathers for girls, smothering mothers for boys usually though it can be vice versa) then look at any of the 7-12 step formulas for getting laid (Which I used to embarrassingly buy into and teach as well so my bad) things start to make a lot of sense.

For instance the idea of fool's mate which Mystery and many other guys (including me, I'm no better I just finally figured out I didn't know what I thought I knew) have taught or used to justify why someone who wasn't them (usually a student or good looking guy) had quick success.

Fool's mate is the idea of just lucking into a girl who happens to be into you and getting laid almost despite your "game."  But this doesn't make sense if you put it up to any logic. How can getting laid quicker be worse than taking 7 hours? How can you luck into getting laid one time, while another time it was all skill? and most importantly: Why is it a bad thing that a girl just liked you and sex just happened?

Is it so hard to believe that a girl could just want to have sex with you?

It is if you're living in extreme levels of low self esteem, and self loathing.

But that's not a healthy way to look at the world or yourself, and I trust me I know.

So what's the solution?

Challenging yourself to look at the world as objectively as possible. It's bad to believe that no woman wants you and that she's clearly a naive and foolish girl if she sleeps with you quickly. It's also bad to flip the other way and start to believe that you are amazing with women no matter what their reactions tell you. We all have a way to success with women. Is it always going to be with those playmate looking 10s? No, not for everyone but everyone can find women they are extremely attracted to who will like them for them.

And that's not a fool's mate.

JS- The King Of Content

Friday, November 09, 2012

Escalating On High Points


 Happy Friday!

I know I'm ready for this week to be over with that's for sure!

I wanted to write a more big picture post today about escalation, it's not going to be heavy on tactics and techniques but more on an overall strategy for escalation that is extremely effective and easy to use.

What's this strategy you ask?

It's escalating on high points.

Most guys treat escalation like it's some sort of confusing thing. It's not. Escalation is easy if you know what you're doing.

Here's a few factors for escalation.

1. There is no perfect moment. In every Rom-Com ever made there's a perfect moment when the girl drops mustard on herself and the guy wipes it off and they're lips meet. That doesn't happen in real life. In real life you have to man up and escalate even if the situation is not ideal otherwise it's straight to the friend zone for you.

2. People are too stupid for subtle. It's true all the little non invasive escalations that you think are working. They Aren't.

3. Escalation builds momentum. The more a girl allows you to escalate the more she will allow you to escalate in the future.

So now that we know all of that let's talk about when to escalate.

The simple answer is, when it's going well. Girls are not that hard to figure out, if they're laughing, asking you questions, keeping the conversation going or touching you, it's time to escalate.

And what are we trying to escalate?

We can escalate the interaction in 3 different ways:

1. Verbally by giving her compliments, SOIS, demonstrating sexual interest, or qualifying her.
2. Physically pretty obvious but touching is the best way to screen what girls are into you and what girls are wasting your time.
3. Logistically moving the girl around moves the interaction forward.

So now we know what this should look like.

For example:

Girl laughs at a joke- touch her immediately
Girl asks a question- qualify her for her interest in you
Girl plasters a smile on her face- try to move her somewhere else

ANY TIME YOU ARE GETTING A POSITIVE REACTION YOU HAVE AN OPEN WINDOW FOR ESCALATION.

Hope that helps,

JS- The Once and Future King Of Content

 

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The Charisma Myth Notes and Exercises


 I finished this book a couple of weeks ago and I've been waiting for a chance to go through the notes and stuff I made on the kindle about this book since it's pretty relevant to what people come to this blog to read about, I figured I would post my notes here.

Quotes

Deciding to change your belief about what happened (cognitive reappraisal) effectively decreases the brain's stress levels. This came to light through research performed at Stanford University using functional MRI machines. The researchers concluded that deciding to change beliefs was a far more effective and healthier solution than attempting to repress or ignore emotions.

The key questions are: Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there? For charisma, you can use this technique whenever a situation threatens your level of warmth or confidence. For minor events, simply imagining an alternative explanation is often enough to reduce anger or impatience and generate compassion instead.

The Internal Charisma Checklist:

1. Take a deep breath and shake out your body to ensure that no physical discomfort is adding to your tense mental state.
2. Dedramatize. Remind yourself that nothing serious is happening. This only feels uncomfortable because of how you're brain is wired. Zoom out your focus to see yourself as a little person dealing with certain chemicals flooding your system. Nothing more.
3. Destigmatize. Remind yourself that this is normal and everyone goes through it from time to time. Imagine countless people all over the world feeling the same thing.
4. Neutralize. Remind  yourself that these thoughts are not necessarily real.
5. Consider a few alternative realities that are not as negative.
6. Visualize a transfer of responsibility. Imagine the weight of this problem being transferred to the universe god etc...

Self Compassion as a 3 step process:
1. Realize you're experiencing difficulty
2. Respond with kindness and understanding towards ourselves.
3. Realizing that whatever we are going through is commonly experienced by all human beings.

Concepts:

The core of charisma is involves behaviors that project: Presence, Power and Warmth.
Charisma begins with an internal state

Exercises:

Destigmatizing Discomfort:
1. Remind yourself this is normal and that we all experience it from time to time.
2. Think of all the other people who have gone through this especially people you admire.
3. Remember that right now in this very moment many others are going through the same thing.

Neutralizing Negativity:
1. Remember these thoughts may not be accurate.
2. See your thoughts as tiny little electrical impulses in your brain or as graffiti on the walls of your mind.
3. Depersonalize the experience.
4. Imagine the earth from a far and imagine zooming in on your tiny little problem.
5. Imagine your mental chatter as coming from a radio and turn the volume way down.

There's also a good visualization at www.Charismamyth.com/metta

Overall I'd give this book 3 out of 5 stars it was an interesting new take on some of the same old information in the persuasion world.

JS 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Call her little


 Here's a quick post for a Friday.

One of the things I've noticed that all guys who are successful with women do is call them little.

Little girl, little one, little princess, whatever.

But the idea of conveying to a girl that you're bigger than her is powerful since women are biologically designed to be attracted to men that are bigger and stronger.

Little is a good word that can be used to tease her or as term of affection depending on the situation.

So there you go.

JS

Monday, October 22, 2012

Humble Bragging and DHVs


 Hey there,

 I got real sick last week and spent the entire week in bed hacking my lungs up.

 It was not tight.

 I did get to do some reading though which was nice.

One of the books I read was the Humble Brag book by Harris Wittels and one of the things I couldn't help but notice was how much humble bragging seems like what used to be taught as demonstrations of higher value.

A humble brag is a brag where the person conceals the outright brag by adding something that is supposedly humble to either the beginning or the end of the brag.

For example:

"Just recorded my Radio Spot for XM. I lead a weird weird life"

 " I am wearing hands down the most ugly shirt ever made and 4 co-workers have told me it's beautiful. I work with fucking liars and idiots."

The idea of a humble brag much like a DHV is that you brag about something that makes you cool (Being on the radio or having 4 ppl tell you your shirt is beautiful) then you pretend to be annoyed, put off or angry about the thing you just bragged about. Usually in humble brags this takes the form of saying something is weird or acting like what you just bragged about isn't a big deal even though it clearly is because you went on twitter to post about it.

So how does this help you with girls?

Well humble bragging/DHVing (I'm just gonna call it Humble Bragging from here on cuz fuck acronyms) can be an effective way to get attractive pieces of information out about yourself. It's often been said that you shouldn't brag or boast about yourself but IME people are not smart enough to get subtle displays of value and humble bragging works much better than hoping that someone will be able to infer things. So while HBing can alienate some people like myself an the writer of the book it's still remains an effective way to communicate the cool things about yourself without just outrightly telling the girl you're a genius millionaire like myself :)

JS- The King Of Content



 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Interesting Social Proof Experiment


 I was reading this book Brandwashed about how big brands infiltrate our lives and use their marketing messages to brainwash us whether or not we're aware of it.

They did an interesting experiment on social proof in the book and I wanted to share it here.

Social Proof is extremely misunderstood and involves a lot more than just mentioning a "stripper ex GF" like some guys teaching this stuff boil it down to.

In the experiment they decided to see if they could manufacture "fame."

To do this they took a young intern dressed her up in stylish clothes out of a US weekly, put big dark sunglasses on her, then took her to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills where they had fake papparazzis take pictures of her and her little dog as people walked by.

In essence they had her dress like a celebrity in a place where celebrities are often found and photographed. Then had accomplices act as if she were a celebrity.

They also had her use her real name as opposed to pretending to be some made up celebrity.

The results were amazing! Not only did people stop to ask her for autographs and pictures, several people came up and complimented her on loving her music, tv or acting career none of which she mentioned. One lady even claimed to have seen her in concert last month.

The basic premise of social proof is that if you look cool, you are in a place that is cool, and most importantly OTHER PEOPLE TREAT YOU AS IF YOU ARE COOL then you become cool even if you aren't.

That's the power of social proof.

JS

Monday, October 08, 2012

Brainstorming: Ways To Convey You're Good In Bed


 I had a real quick lay from the bookstore last week and all I really did was screen her for interest and convey that I'd be good in bed (Which is a slippery slope as we'll see).

So it got me thinking about other ways to show the girl that you know what you're doing sexually. The key here is to do this more through demonstration than talking about it as girls assume that most guys who talk about how good they are in bed are actually terrible.

So here's an admittedly incomplete list that you can add on to in the comments:

1. Pulling her hair
2. Lightly scratching her back under her clothes
3. Lightly biting her neck
4. Kissing her neck and breathing on it
5. Talking about the idea of sensuality and bringing all of your senses together for pleasure. I usually start of by talking about food or how some dish is "better than an orgasm."
6. Being able to dance or move your hips well (obviously doesn't apply to me)
7. Telling a story about a girl going crazy over you for no reason (girls will asssume it was the sex). Captain Jack's Crazy Ex deleted all my #s story is a good example.
8. Tell a story about your ex GF's female friend coming on to you and wanting you to do the things you used to do to your ex to her.
9. Tell a story about how you're ex wanted to share you with other girls. I tell a story about a failed 3some. I think it's important that you don't talk about having a successful 3some as that can intimidate some girls.
10. Mention how she hasn't been spanked or tied up enough recently.
11. Tell her she needs someone to put her in her place.
12. Spank her on the ass or the hand.
13. Tell her that she's "vanilla" and couldn't handle you this is a sex community term for being boring in bed.  If she doesn't know what that is (as most girls won't) explain it to her.
14. Tell her you have a tiny penis and are horrible in bed. As I mentioned before guys who brag about how great they are in bed, or how big they're cocks are,  are untrustworthy. Girls assume guys who say they have small dicks are hung like horses.
15. Tell her she probably hasn't had good sex yet.
16.  Take an ice cube out of your drink (if at a bar) put it in your mouth then kiss her neck.
17. Lightly Restrain her wrists by her waist or over her head while you're kissing her.
18. Pick her up, or lift her and spin her around.
19. Dry hump her well (given the appropriate location)
20. Talk about dressing her up in outfits like a sexy nurse or secretary.
21. Talk about how most guys don't know what she wants sexually or how most guys don't know how to get her to feel like a woman.
22. Cold read her on having a fractured sexual identity. Sometimes she wants to be treated sweetly and sensually and other times she needs to be fucked hard like a dirty little girl.
23. Tell her she's naughty.
24. Whisper dirty talk in her ear.
25. Put your hand gently over her throat while kissing her. If she doesn't immediately respond to this with more intense kissing take it away. if she does respond squeeze a little more but be careful.
26. Rub her clit through her jeans or under her skirt discreetly.
27. lift up your shirt and her shirt while kissing to get that skin on skin feeling.

That's all I got for now.

JS- The King Of Content


Friday, October 05, 2012

Sexual Momentum and Screening


 Hey there,

Just a few quick thoughts from my recent results.

1. It's way easier to go further in the initial meeting even during the day time because you have momentum both emotionally and sexually. The girl is never going to be more attracted to you than she was during the first meeting. Therefore the further you go in the first meeting the more likely she is to return calls, meet up etc.. Also its much easier to get same day lays than previously reported from day game. it's all a matter of
2. Logistics are what largely determine whether or not you will get laid. When I was a 10 minute drive from the mall it was harder to get SDLs than it is now that I'm walking distance.
3. Screening a girl for sexuality and availability is more important than traditional qualification. Instead you want to screen to see if this girl is available for escalation (No BFs or prudishness) and if she responds to sexuality. If those two factors are there with logistics you should almost always get laid.

That's all I got for today.

JS

Monday, October 01, 2012

Thinking Fast And Slow Highlights


 One of the best books I've read this year is "Thinking Fast and Slow" By Daniel Kahneman the Nobel Prize winning behavioral economist.

The book breaks down the difference between cognition and heuristics to explain why we think the way we do about things.

In essence he argues that there are two systems of thinking:

System 1 is instant and not bound by the rules of logic EX: Driving a car or reciting your #
System 2 is deeper thinking with well supported thought out ideas and arguments. EX: arguing about politics or explaining how to bake a cake.

Here's some quotes and ideas that interested me:

System 1 provides impressions that often turn into your beliefs and is the source of the impulses that often become your choices and actions. It offers a tacit interpretation off what happens to you and around you, linking the present with the recent past and with expectations about the near future. It contains the model of the world that instantly evaluates events as surprising or normal. It is the source of rapid and often precise intuition and it does most of this without your conscious awareness of it's activities.

The sequence of characteristics we observe in a person are often determined by chance. Sequence matters however because the halo effect increases the weight of first impressions sometimes to the point that subsequent information is mostly wasted.

WYSIATI- What you see is all there is. One of the ways System 1 distorts reality to make us feel correct.

Overconfidence: as the WYSIATI rule implies neither the quantity nor the quality of evidence counts much for subjective confidence. The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of story they can tell themselves about what they see, even if they see a little. We often fail to allow for the possibility that evidence that should be critical to our judgement is missing- what we see is all there is.

An example of basic assessment is the ability to distinguish friend from foe. This contributes to our chances of survival in the wild.  Alex Todarov of Princeton has explored the biological roots of rapid judgement of how safe it is to interact with a stranger. He showed that we are hardwired to look for two facts about that person: How dominant they are and how trustworthy they are.

Substituting questions. If a satisfactory answer is not found quickly system 1 will find a related question that is easier and answer that instead. The target question is the assessment you intended to produce. The heuristic question is a simpler question you answered instead.

Anchoring Effects- This happens when you are given a # or idea to prime you before being asked a question. For example if you are asked if Gandhi was more than 114 years old when he died you will guess a higher age than if you are asked if he were older than 35. The same thing happens with asking prices of homes etc...

Availability- This refers to how people's impressions are altered by a requirement to list a specific number of instances. In the experiment they asked people to list 6-12 instances in which they behaved assertively and then evaluate how assertive they were. People who had just listed 12 instances rated themselves as less assertive than those who had listed 6. Furthermore participants that had ben asked to think of 12 examples of times they had not behaved assertively ended up thinking of themselves as very assertive. If you cannot easily come up with 12 examples of meek behavior you are likely to conclude you are not meek at all.

Subjective confidence in a judgement is not a reasoned evaluation of the probability that this judgement is correct. Confidence is a feeling which reflects the coherence of the information and the cognitive ease of processing. It is wise to take admissions of uncertainty seriously but declarations of high confidence mainly tell you that an individual has constructed a coherent story in his mind, not that the story is true.

We are confident when the story we tell ourselves comes easily to mind with no contradiction and no competing scenario.

Low probability events are much more heavily weighted when they are described in terms of relative frequency 1 in 100,000 children will die than in percentages 0.0001

Attention is key. Our emotional state is largely determined by what we attend to, our current activity and environment

Affective forecasting- knowing the odds but believing they don't apply to you. Like couples who know most marriages end in divorce on their wedding day but do it anyway believing they are different.

Miswanting- bad choices that arise from errors of affective forecasting. Most prominent when people are asked how happy they would be after a tragedy followed by comparing that with happiness ratings of people who have had misfortunes.

There's a bunch of really interesting stuff in the book and I highly recommend you pick it up if you want to understand why we all make the choices we make.

JS


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Reminder: Go To Filtered Venues!


 Hey there,

I went to a networking thing on Monday and ended up bringing a girl home from there and I have another date with a different girl I met at the same place.

The reason: Filtered Venues are easier.

I've talked about filtered venues before on this blog and in different forums, but to review; filtered venues have a generally have a theme or specific idea that brings people together outside of trying to just "go out".

Some examples of filtered venues:

Charity Events
Networking Events
Yoga Classes
Co-ed Sports Leagues
Seminars/Workshops/Retreats

These venues are easier because they bring people together for a reason rather than randomly. They also generally bring people together to socialize so there's no bitchiness or awkwardness when you approach women there.

So if you wanna get laid more and not waste your time, you better check out filtered venues.

JS

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Project Hollywood House 2, PUAS 0


 So word around the campfire is that the Speer and Vince Kelvin led version of the Project Hollywood house (yes the same house as 2005) has broken up badly as Pick Up Partnerships tend to do. I talked to Speer briefly and a couple of other dudes who have a little bit of knowledge about the situation. I'll post more details if/when they become available.

Also Vince is apparently in the hospital now for either a heart attack or panic attacks. No one I've talked to seems to know exactly what, but hopefully he gets better. I bust on the guy cause he's ridiculous, but I don't wish bad health or serious harm on anyone.

Which brings me to the title of this post, that house on Londonderry is undefeated against the PUAS. They come in, and none of them lasts more than a year. Which is understandable at 12K a month in rent...

I bet when the owners see a group of guys come in to look at that place their eyes just turn into little $$ like in the cartoons.
 The question now is will another group of PUAS try their hand at the house that eats PUAS for dinner?

JS


Friday, September 14, 2012

Guest Article: Taking The First Step

Taking that first step is often the most difficult part of embarking on change. Often, if we could only take that first step , write that first sentence in your novel, do that first push up, say hello to that beautiful girl ‚ then the rest of our endeavor becomes easy and flows like honey.

Sometimes we all need a little motivation to kick start whatever we are trying to accomplish. There is no shame in that. The men who are the most successful with women know that they are willing to do whatever it takes to improve themselves and improve their game.

Here are a few tried-and-true tips that deal with getting motivated to take action to get better with women.

Tip #1

1. Pump it up. A really savvy strategy that can get you pumped up to make that first phone call or hit that club with confidence is to do a little groundwork before you even leave the house. Find some music that really gets you pumped up and crank it as loud as you can. (If you live in an apartment, you might stick to headphones!)

The music might even motivate you to start dancing around the house, which will make you feel even better. This strategy is successful for a few different reasons: Listening to music that makes you happy automatically improves your mood and therefore your self-confidence level. When we are happy, our self-esteem usually tends to be at its highest. In addition, listening to our favorite music releases endorphins that give us a boost of energy and feel-good hormones preparing us to meet challenges head on.

Tip #2

2. Become friends with other like-minded men. You can do this online through pick up forums or you can do this by finding other men who live in your area. You will not only learn from encouraging them to get out there, but they will be the ones who can motivate you and stroke your ego when you are feeling insecure or unsure about your dating skills and abilities with women.

Having another guy to run scenarios by is a great strategy to motivate you to tackle the dating world. In addition, you can act as each other's wingman and get out there supporting and helping each other improve your game with women.

There is power in numbers and getting someone else's take on a situation or even an outfit to wear to the club can be invaluable when it comes to getting better with women. A good guy friend will be honest, but not a jerk about giving his opinion and advice and in return you do the same for him. Often we learn the most by helping others and critiquing their efforts will usually improve our own game.

Tip #3

3. Read everything you can get your hands on about how to be successful in approaching and attracting women.

What happens when you start reading books about self-improvement and techniques that work, you automatically, almost subconsciously start itching to get out there and try it for yourself.

And the beauty of this motivation method is that while you are motivating yourself, you are also arming yourself with knowledge that will make you successful with women. Even if you are not aware of it consciously, your words, actions, and behaviors will be influenced by what you read.

Deep down, you already know what works and what doesn't and it will naturally incorporate itself into your game. As a result, with very little effort, you will not only be motivated, but you will be taking action to get better with women naturally.

Bill Preston

Friday, September 07, 2012

Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends (Video)


 By far the most frequently commented on post I've ever written is my post about not trusting girls with all guy friends.

 Read it here: Never Trust Girls With All Male Friends

Here's a great video that captures my point even more succinctly.



Comment Below

JS

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

The Greatest Pickup Video Of All Time




This might be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life...


Couple of extras about Smash 99 the legend.

He's Asian despite speaking with what one can only call a "Blackcent"

He has 100s of these videos some of which include his actual approaches which are as hilarious as one would assume from this video.

He's 100 percent serious.

If you find more vids like this post them in the comments this guy deserves the attention.

JS

Friday, August 31, 2012

48 Laws Of Power: Laws 11-21


1.    Learn To keep People Dependent on You:Figure out how to make people dependent on me. Independence is not power. You will always need others as allies, pawns, or even weak masters to serve as your front.
2.    Use Selective Honesty and Generosity To Disarm Your Victim:  Use Generosity before asking for things. Selective honesty is best used on the first encounter.
3.     When Asking For Help appeal to people’s self interest:  Always ask yourself what the other person wants. When people ooze greed do not appeal to their charity when they ooze charity do not appeal to their greed.
4.     Pose as a friend work as a spy: 
5.    Crush Your Enemy Totally:  Go further when opportunities to crush enemies arise.
6.    Use Absence To Increase Honor And Respect:  Remove myself strategically from spheres of influence.
7.    Keep Others In Suspended Terror; Cultivate an Air Of Unpredictability: Be More unpredictable, break your own patterns.
8.     Isolation is dangerous: Become a man of the people.
9.    Know who you’re dealing with and do not offend the wrong person: Avoid offending anyone.
10.Do Not Commit To Anyone:  Always Turn Down First Offers. Do not inadvertently feel obligated to anyone.  
11.Play A Sucker To Catch A Sucker:  Stop Trying to prove I’m smart. Only use intelligence to conceal deception.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Notes On The 48 Laws Of Power Law 1-



Hey,

I went through a real obsession with the 48 laws of power for a little bit, and I just found some old notes I had on them.

 You guys may find this stuff interesting if even in a head nodding, non applicable way.


1.    Never Outshine The Master: Rating: 7 To work on: Never Take Your Position For Granted.
2.    Never Put Too Much Trust In Friend, Learn To Use Enemies: Rating: 4: To Work on: Never give friends too much lest they come to believe they deserve that all the time. Never expect gratitude from a friend and be pleasantly surprised when you get it.
3.    Conceal Your Intentions: Rating: 3: Work On: Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. Purposely lead them down the wrong path. Let your greatest cunning lie in covering up your cunning. If you yearn for power lay honesty aside. Dangle fake goals in front of people and they will take that for reality. Appear to send mixed signals or instead appear to support a cause that is contrary to your own beliefs. Seem to want things you don’t want to gain power. Hide your intentions by talking openly about your desires and goals, just not your real ones. Also use false sincerity. Espouse a belief in honesty and forthrightness as publicly as possible. Use the smoke screen of the ordinary and familiar. Be as bland and inconspicuous as possible.  The noble gesture is one of the best smoke screens available as people want to believe those who make noble gestures are for real. Another effective smoke screen is the pattern. Acting one way consistently before suddenly mixing it up. Another psychological weakness to exploit is the tendency of human beings to mistake appearance for reality or take things on looks value.
4.    Always Say Less Than Necessary: Rating: 0: Work On: Talk less, squeeze more out of your words.
5.    So Much Depends On Reputation-Guard It With Your Life: Rating: 1: To work on: Figure out where to establish a reputation.  Doubt is a powerful weapon guard yourself against it while using it as a deadly weapon against your enemies. Make your reputation sterling and base it on one single quality. What one quality do I want a reputation for?
6.    Court Attention At All Costs: Rating: 7: To Work On: Commanding and being ready for attention at all times. In the beginning spend all your time courting attention regardless of the quality. Part II: Create an Air of Mystery: In a world growing increasingly banal and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention.Never make too clear what you are doing or about to do. Do not show all your cards. An Air of mystery heightens your prescence; it also creates anticipation-everyone will be watching you to see what happens next use mystery to beguile, seduce and frighten. If you find yourself trapped, do something that cannot be explained. Choose a simple action that lends itself to multiple interpretations.
7.    Get Others To Do The Work For You But Always Take The Credit: Rating: 1: To Work On: Getting others to do stuff for me.
8.    Make Others Come To You: Rating: 2: To Work On: You must learn to master your emotions, and never be influenced by anger; meanwhile you must play on people’s natural tendency to react angrily when pushed and baited.
9.    Win Through Your Actions Never Through Argument: Rating: 3: To Work On: Stop arguing, think always of action. Learn to demonstrate the correctness of your ideas indirectly.
10.Infection: Avoid The Unhappy and Unlucky: Rating: 7: To Work On: Avoid all unhappy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, poor. 

JS

Monday, August 27, 2012

Brainstorming on Slutty Girls


 Hey there,

 I've been brainstorming up some ideas on recognizing and quickly escalating with them to make super quick lays more predictable and easier to reproduce. Some of these ideas come from a post on the internet on identifying slutty girls I couldn't figure out the original author and some come from my buddy Cam's post as well.

 The first thing to understand is that slutty girls are different from girls who get attracted easily. You need to find girls that are both attracted to you and slutty. This explains why girls will cheat on their BFs with PUAs because they found a girl who was slutty who happened to have a boyfriend.

What is a slutty girl? A slutty girl to me is a girl who (god bless her) jumps into bed with a guy quickly on a regular basis.

Slutty girls are everywhere it's a matter of being able to better recognize them.

There is a slutty girl way of dressing which is different from an attention whore way of dressing. The ultimate slutty girl piece of clothing is yoga pants at the mall.

Here are some personality traits and physical things to look for:

Plays along with sexual jokes or teases early.

Drinks a lot and makes a point of being able to "hang" or party with anyone.

Doesn't wear underwear and makes a point of letting that be known. This is where you can make jokes about her throwing her panties at you or getting her panties in a twist to bait for this.

Has traveled a lot.

Has indicators of high testosterone like greater than usual arm hair, broad eye brow ridges, broad shoulders, narrow waist.

Makes submissive (breaking downward) eye contact

Smokes cigarettes

Has mostly male "friends"

Is overly emotional or dramatic

Attempts to be tough or fight

Uses overly emotional but fake communication. Screams I love you early and quickly.

Says she dates like a guy or is over dating.

Says "I'm trying to be good" or mentions her trying to reform her life.

Identifies or calls herself a bitch.

Feel free to add more in the comments.

JS


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Age Grouping and attraction


 Here's something I've noticed recently, I am much much much more attractive to women who are between 18-22 and women who are between 32-35 than I am to the average girl between 22-30.

 Why is this?

  I honestly have no idea but I have a couple of educated guesses at the matter.

 1. Girls are most attracted to men who are about 7-9 years older than they are. I came up with this after analyzing the ages of most of the married couples I know as well as looking at the age differences between my friends parents. It seems like most (75%) fall within this age difference. The amount of couples who were the same age was the lowest with only 2 or 3 couples I know/am aware of being the same exact age (and one is heading for divorce court).

2. Girls have certain stereotypes they want to cross off their "to do" list which is exactly what it sounds like a list of guys to do. In the 18-22 year olds I'm an older successful guy who validates them and plays into their issues with their fathers. With the 30-35 year olds I'm a younger in shape guy who falls into their play toy/fling category. Whereas with most girls my age or around my age I'm just another dude trying to holla.

3. I subconsciously like these girls because I believe that I'm smarter than them (18-22) or I believe that they know what I am and are completely on board for no strings attached fun (30-35). With girls my own age I almost always feel like they want to trap me into a relationship which will end up like the Ray-J song "can't tie me down" so I act differently with these girls and thus am less attractive.

4. There is less competition from cool guys with girls in these age groups.

Not sure what it is but it's the most interesting thing happening with my game currently.

Share thoughts and similar experiences in the comments section.

JS

Monday, August 20, 2012

Mirroring Body Language In Rapport


 Here's an old school technique that really works if you use it at the right time.

 Mirroring is the idea of copying someone else's body language in order to make them feel more similar to you and thus increase rapport.

Now obviously this is a more subtle tactic and it doesn't create magical reactions.

But, recently I was re-introduced to the idea through a book studying the science behind charisma and I've been having some great results on dates by simply mirroring the girl's body language first, then leading the body language into a more relaxed and open place.

I start by mirroring her sitting posture for 3-5 minutes until we're on the same wavelength. Then I slowly start to open up my body language more and start presenting more interested body language (leaning in etc).

So far if I do this the right way the girl almost always responds and starts copying my body language at which point I can start to escalate much easier.

So it's something to try out once you have some rapport with a girl.

JS

Friday, August 17, 2012

Date Trick/Tip: The Side Switch


 Hey there,

 Quick post today on something I do all the time but haven't ever written about (don't quote me on that).

 The scenario: You go out with a girl and there is no way for you to smoothly sit on the same side as her. Maybe there's a booth, or a table and the only normal way to sit would be across from each other which not only has been psychologically proven to create more contentious situations but also keeps you from being able to touch.

So what do you do?

Easy, you sit down have a drink, order, watch etc... Then about 10-15 minutes in you go to the bathroom and come back to sit on the girls side. It really is that simple. Sometimes if I'm feeling really game-y I'll say I want to taste her drink etc... But it's not necessary, you can just switch sides without saying anything.

Hope that helps,

JS

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

What Women Mean When They Talk


Hey guys,

I figured I’d write to you guys. I wanted to talk to you guys about a really important skill when it comes to meeting women.  I like to call that skill speaking “womanese”.

 (Womanese being the secret language women speak through subcommunications, body language, facial expressions, spatial relevance, and the underlying meanings of what they’re saying. )

I often say that women give the best pick up advice, as long as you don’t listen to what they tell you to do. Women give their advice through their reactions. They also give their advice to you through what they say, you just have to know how to translate it.

So today we’re going to look at some typical things women say when meeting new men, and what they actually mean.

1.     “ I have a boyfriend”.

This particular phrase can mean a variety of things based on when and how it is brought up in the conversation. The first realization you have to make about girls telling you they have boyfriends, is that it’s not always true. Often times the girl will say she has a boyfriend just to avoid having to be rude or waste her time entertaining a guy she’s not interested in all night. Women will also say things like “we’re lesbians” or “we’re together” to get rid of you in a socially acceptable way.

 If a woman tells you she has a boyfriend REALLY early on in the conversation (like in the first 3 minutes or less) she really means “I’m not interested in you romantically”.  Women hate social awkwardness, so if she’s really not into the conversation and she can tell you’re hitting on her, saying she has a boyfriend is a nice friendly way out of the discomfort.

 If a woman tells you she has a boyfriend when you are trying to escalate the interaction(by getting a phone number or trying to get her to leave with you) it generally means one of two things. Either she has let the interaction go further than she intended and she wants to let you know you don’t have a chance. Or she is trying to let you know that this may be a one time thing.

If a woman casually mentions a boyfriend by saying something like “my boyfriend and I” or “we like to..” then she is generally just letting you know the situation but may still be open to escalating the interaction.  At which point it becomes an issue of morality outside the scope of this newsletter J
2.     “We’re not having sex tonight!”

 If a woman tells you she’s not going to have sex with you, she’s already thinking about it. Women throw up the “we’re not having sex tonight.” objection because they realize that things are starting to heat up between the two of you. They do this because they have to be able to maintain plausible deniability.  Maintaining plausible deniability means that you always take responsibility for escalation. This goes for everything from making the first approach, to giving her an excuse she can tell her friends about why she left the club with you. Everything is your responsibility. The girl has to be able to explain to her friends that she wasn’t going back to your place to get fucked senseless. She was going over to save some money on drinks “or “ have a nightcap before she headed home.” But then “one thing led to another…”

 So when she says “we’re not having sex tonight” she means “ I want you to convince me that there won’t be any consequences for me if I have sex with you tonight.” This is where showing a girl that you don’t kiss and tell is crucial. You have to show the girl that you are not going to hurt her reputation or lose respect for her if she sleeps with you.

 If a woman tells you she’s not having sex with you tonight, you should always respond “ I was just about to tell you the same thing.” Ideally though you want to tell the girl that you’re not having sex with her first.  I always treat that statement like the finish line of a race you want to get to first.


3.     “ I don’t (kiss, have sex, have a threesome with midgets) on the (first night, first date, 3rd date).

 When a woman gives you a rule like “ I don’t kiss on the first date.” Or “ I don’t have sex until the 3rd date.”  She is sending a clear message. She is not sure about you. She doesn’t necessarily know if she sees you in her life long term or if you’re just some guy she’ll go on a couple of dates with and forget. So because of this she’s starting to lay down rules.  Now some girls actually do have rules about their dating lives, but most don’t. Most women simply go with what’s bringing in the most good emotions. If she’s starting to get all logical she’s not that into you…

If a woman says something like this, it’s a great opportunity to inject some humor and flip the script on the girl. If a girl ever gives me a rule, I just respond “ Cool is that you’re only rule or do you have more before I get to tell you mine?” Now sometimes she’ll have some more rules, but once she’s done I’ll give her a ridiculous list of rules that I have until she’s laughing so hard she’s forgotten what we were talking about. The more random and funny the better. Some of my favorites are enforcing a casual dress Fridays where she’s not allowed to wear pants, reminding her that Tuesday is “Feed Jon Grapes and Fan him day” and more.

4.     “ You’re a (jerk, player, asshole) 

 When a woman playfully insults you or accuses you of being a jerk, player, dirty old man, whatever… she’s actually saying “ I’m kinda attracted to you and I want to see if you’re really cool, or pretending.”  Because men can lie, women have to have a way of figuring out which guys are actually cool, and which guys are faking it. So when you are getting attraction from girls early on, they will often “test” you.

The best way to deal with tests from women is to agree and exaggerate. What most guys do wrong is they disagree and then try to show a girl how they’re not a jerk or a player. This is bad because it sets an underlying theme of you trying to live up to her expectations instead of vice versa. So instead you always agree when a woman accuses or insults you. Then you exaggerate the comment to absurdity.  So for example if a girl accuses you of being a player, you can say “  Yeah I’m actually pretty booked up right now but I can slot you in next Thursday if you promise to be good. “ or “  Yeah, I was actually recently voted the 6th biggest player in a mid major city by people magazine.”


5.     “Let’s Just be Friends.”

When a girl you’ve just met tells you that she just wants to be friends, what she really means is that she’s not interested in you at all. Most people, especially attractive women don’t make friends from failed pickup attempts. The fact that she’s suggesting being friends means that she’s not interested in you romantically. Plus she’s worried that you’re expecting something more.  If a girl tells you she just wants to be friends you’re pretty much out of luck. In rare circumstances you can escape the friend zone, but you are officially out of the “Ultimate Relationship Proposition” category.  So if you actually do want to be friends with her(without it being part of a long term seduction plan) then continue to get her phone number and try to hang out with her. Just be sure to mention that you are only trying to be her friend, lest she suspect you’re trying to get in her pants. It also may be a good idea to hang out with her in a mixed group of your friends and her friends. This will help it feel less like a date the first couple of times you guys hang out. Female friends are a huge blessing. I highly recommend that everyone reading this makes friends with at least 5 women you’re interested in.


Till next time,

S

Monday, August 13, 2012

Mailbag!


Hola Puas,


I’ve been getting some great questions recently from you guys, so I highly encourage all of you to keep them coming in. For those that don’t know, you can send any question you have to me at Sinnstravel at gmail.com and if it’s interesting, it’ll make the next edition of the mailbag. You get extra points for originality 

Let’s take our first caller…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi man,

I have a question:
I've been practicing the game for a while and can feel a lot of improvement.
I have routines, know the techniques, approaching girls at bars and even had a
few same night lays.
One thing that I haven't been able to overcome is going out alone. I
understand that this is an important thing to do as part of becoming a PUA.
Also, it would enable me to go out more since my friends are not into the game
as much as I am and sometimes prefer to stay home. But when I'm alone at a
bar, my self confidences is low and it's much harder for me to approach girls

How do I overcome this?

Yaron



 Great question Yaron,

I personally really like going out alone. It’s less hassle getting everything organized, you don’t have to wait for your friends to get there, you don’t have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it’s a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don’t approach you’re just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun. 

 When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened.  Because people really don’t care.  The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you’re less cool for being out alone.

 Ok so now that you know what the problem is,  let’s look at some things you can do tonight to fix it.

1.     Getting in the batter’s box. This is something my buddy Fastlife once said to me that has always stuck.  He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you’re sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you’re debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you’re clean, shaved, dressed etc.. You’ll feel like you have to go out.
2.     Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you’re out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren’t any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you’re in, the easier it will be to approach.
3.     Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn’t have to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don’t let yourself go home until you complete them.
4.     Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you’re going to be when you are in between approaches.  You don’t want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you’re not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren’t any girls you’re interested in approaching.

 Going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

Next question.

 Question on smooth Kino Escalation.

Hopefully you can shed some light on this subject. I understand that calibration plays a huge role in this. What i've found is that I am personally way too into my head. Like I feel like i'm invading the girl's space if I simply give her a hug or it just doesn't feel natural. I am definitely not a natural touchy feely guy and grew up almost never touching girls. Not even simple high fives or hugs or whatever. I watched one of my friends at work today and he just naturally threw up a high five rewarding her for something he thought was cool. Like when I see my friends grab or play with the girls I can totally see their BT go through the roof.

I feel like theres this space between me and the girl, and i'm just chatting. I've been complimented on my voice and smoothness plenty of times but im missing that half where I see the more alpha guys taking control physically.

So I started learning a little bit of palm reading and using the penny, nickel dime routine as an excuse to hold the hand. but that just makes me not the fun/playful guy but the serious guy yet again.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice

-Mark


 Ok Mark,

 First can we all agree to stop calling it kino and simply call it touching? Deal?

 Let’s figure out what the real issue is here. It’s that you’re not comfortable touching girls. That’s fine I was not a naturally touchy guy either. In fact it got so bad that one time on a bootcamp in Toronto Savoy came up to me to ask me if I knew if there was a casino around where he could play some keno because the students hadn’t seen any keno all night.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1.    Playful touching- This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc.. This is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.
2.    Hand touching- This is stuff like high fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, so on and so forth.
3.    Arm in arm- This will happen as you’re qualifying girls. She says something you like you take her hand, place it on your arm and say “That’s all you get.” You can also do this when you’re moving a girl by asking her if she’s the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.
4.    Arm around. This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like and you pull her in by her waist. There’s an easy way to tell if she’s attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.
5.    Hand holding. The best way to hand hold, is to suggest moving and then hold your hand back for her to grab.
6.    Kissing- There’s a variety of ways to kiss, but my favorite is what’s called the almost kiss. This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say

 “ I’m sorry, I’m having a really hard time talking to you, because I keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we’re not ready for that yet. So we’re going to do an almost kiss. We’re going to get really close, but you’re not allowed to kiss me and I’m not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me it will ruin all trust in our relationship.”

 Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

 That’s a good start for ya Mark. The key with touching is that you have to act like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Next Caller.


Hi, Sinn

I would like an opinion from You. A guy approaches a Women in person and the Women shows the guy indicators of interest by making eye contact, smiling, laughing with him during the entire lengthly conversation. He then ask her 5 mins laters before he leaves "If she would like to see him again?" and she says yes. The guy then gives her his cell phone and she puts in her name and number. On the 3rd day the guy calls this Women and on the 5th ring he gets her voice mail. He leaves a message with his name & number and other things but doesn't get a call back. 8 days go by and he calls her again but gets her voicemail and leaves another new message. This time he doesn't say his name or number because he left it on his first voicemail. The guy figures that she would recognize his voice and knew it was him from the first time.

Should the guy wait 9 more days to pass before he calls again to leave another voice message? Why would a Women give a guy her real cell phone number but not answer her phone or return his calls? When should this guy give up on calling her? How many voicemails should this guy leave for her before he hears from her again? The guy understands how some Women just like the attention or dont want to seem too easy.

Sterling


Ok we’ll call this portion of the mailbag “ She’s just not that into you”.

Newsflash guys, women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, or in this case the phone it’s stored in.  Sometimes women will eve give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn’t the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what she wants to avoid you.

The major mistake you made here, was not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to see each other again sometime, is a stairway to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you’re going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place you will see if she’s actually interested or if she’s just being polite. This way she can say “I’m sorry I’m busy that night.” And if she doesn’t suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

 Now you made a few other mistakes as well. First you waited too long to call her. On a cold approach you want to call the very next day. The reason being that she doesn’t have a whole lot invested in you unlike a guy in her social circle, who she’ll have to see again. Then you waited an ungodly amount of time to follow up when she didn’t call you back. 8 days is ridiculous. You want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline right?

Oh wait, no you don’t otherwise you wouldn’t be so obviously hurt by this girl not returning your calls.

Sorry for the harsh love but this is the real world and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back. The solution is to go out and meet more women.

 That’s gonna wrap it up like a guy who picks up chicks at the free clinic.

 Till next time,

 S