Monday, February 28, 2011

Unfreezing Your Self Image

I hated the movie Hitch( Which again is in no way based on David Wygant so don't believe his marketing BS) but, I do think there is one good piece of advice in the entire unwatchable movie.

At some point when he's not randomly breaking people's wrists and asking guys where they want to wake up after he beats their ass( a staple scene in any Will Smith movie) the title character says something like " You is a fluid concept."

This is GREAT advice.

When guys go online and type in things like How To Get Laid or How To Get Girls In Bed it's generally because they identified with the idea that there is something inherently wrong with them that leads to them being "bad with girls" or " a nice guy" or whatever else guys identify with when they begin their learning more about dating.

However this is a one way road to ruin.

If you've read ANY of my stuff you know how important I think Inner and Outer game symmetry are to the learning process. This is a fancy way of saying that you need to grow your inner and outer game simultaneously.

So how do you do this?

First you have to stop identifying with negative behavior. Number 1 because it's imaginary. Being " bad with girls" is a judgment call based on objective events. Most likely you're not successful with women because of ACTIONS, HABITS, you've taken in the past, rather than "that just being the way it is."

So it's vital to stop identifying with "I am bad with girls" and start identifying with the idea that " In the past I have been X(whatever your issue is) but now I am working on Being Y(what your goals are). This is much more powerful, and fluid. There is room for growth with this belief system that there isn't with the frozen idea that "I am bad with girls."

In a way, we all create our own reality both positive and negative. And I'm not talking about in a bullshit "The Secret" kind of way. What I mean is that we constantly tell our brains what to do, look for and create, in the form of self talk, beliefs, priorities... We CONSTANTLY choose what we want to focus on. Sometime it can feel like you can't change your focus, but it is always a CHOICE. We can make choices that keep us frozen in unhealthy, unproductive and unhappy self images or we can choose to focus on where we WANT to be and consistently look for the ACTIONS we can adopt to move towards what we want.


Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why Do You Deserve a 10?

Continuing on my theme from the other day, I want to talk today about one of the most annoying attitudes in the community to me personally; this idea is that all of us just should get 10s because we want them and because we went online to learn how to pick up girls. It's like saying everyone in a classroom deserves A's just for showing up.

This is an attitude that just about EVERY student I've ever gotten has had.

They may be virgins, who haven't kissed a girl in 5 years but they want 10s god damn it!

The worst offender in my opinion was Formhandle who used to run Fastseduction.com. This is a guy who is 5'4, looks like a lumpy alien(he doesn't workout) with freckles, and has a personality which is slightly less interesting than watching paint dry( He is honest, though I'll give him that). Yet, he would consistently make comments to Cameron about "hitting on a lot of 7s." He would also say that he could get girls who were average before he got into the game and he didn't get in to pick-up to get 7s.

Really?

If we can be honest here, it is difficult to sleep with ANY girl off of a cold approach. Especially the same night. It is a ridiculous idea, because what you're essentially trying to do is walk up to a stranger and convince her to have sex you quickly. It'd be equivalent to walking up to a dude in a bar and trying to convince him to invest money with you, without any actual proof other than your social skills.

So, I reject the notion that Formhandle(who is nice) could do that with ANY women easily, regardless of what they look like. This statement holds true for all students as well. There are REASONS people end up on pickup blogs and in bootcamps, you don't just trip, stumble and end up in my classroom.

It used to really bug me, when students would come on a bootcamp and not approach a group of girls because they were " Not hot enough" or "I can get those girls". So now I just say that if they can approach those girls who are easy to get or not attractive enough and get a make-out within 10 minutes than they can approach whatever girls they want for the rest of the weekend. So far through about 100 bootcamps since I thought this gem up, no one has accepted the challenge.

Cold approach pick up is hard, it's doable and learnable but it is a difficult process. A lot of students assume they are somehow special and can skip straight to the top and to getting the hottest of hot girls. Some students can, but they are going to have A LOT of natural advantages like looks, connections, social status, access to girls, money etc...

You've also got to keep in mind that like attracts like. There's a running joke I have called giving up points. This refers to when a good looking person hooks up with a less attractive person thus giving up points based on how attractive he/she is. Girls don't tend to give up points as much as guys do. Guys will drop their standards strictly to get laid. Girls will drop their physical standards in exchange for the guy having some other attractive quality. I'm going to refrain from making the joke about how in Miami points are for sale...

This is where students get into problems, they think that just studying game or just approaching is enough to convince a 10 to like you, want to hang out again and ultimately sleep with you.

Which is just not true at all.

If you want to sleep with extremely beautiful women, you have to ask yourself why THEY would want to be with you?

What's in it for her that she can see upfront?

Having the ability to give women orgasms is nice, but it's hard to work into a conversation with a stranger.

Being nice to her? EVERYONE is nice to her?

If you want a 10, you have to appeal not to their sense of right and wrong or even their natural attractions, but their self interest. This could be something emotional like I keep her laughing all the time, it could be intrigue based like I know more about her than she does, it could be value based like I always know the best parties and have great connections, but SHE has to be getting something out of interacting with you she can't get from the other 45 guys in her life trying to bone her.

If you want to take this post one step further take a sheet of paper out and write for about 10-15 minutes about why you feel you deserve a 10 and why she should want to be with you.

Then take a break and come back to this post for part 2 posted below.







Exercise Part 2: Now write down the reasons you want a 10. When you're done, see if those reasons are for yourself, or to impress others.

If the reasons are solid and done for yourself, by all means go for your 10s, but if you're like most guys a lot of your reasons had to do with impressing others which is a bad reason to do all the work necessary to get 10s all the time.

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Beauty BS

It's Monday and I'm in car buying hell,

Let's get into the article.

I've already addressed the rating issue years ago publicly, but I still think there is too much focus put on getting the prettiest girl, as opposed to the girl you have the most in common with or the girl you actually have chemistry with. Not to say that all of those can't be the same girl.

I personally blame Mystery. When other guys were talking about tactics on How To Pick Up Girls, he went out of his way to disparage picking up the girl at the magazine rack, because and I quote

" I want the girl on the cover of the magazine."

Great, so do a gazillion other guys, but unless you live in LA, NY or Miami your chances of meeting a famous cover model are slim to none, let alone having the game to get her.

So the first problem with the 10s parameter, is a find problem. There just aren't that many girls that look like the girls on magazine covers.Especially in Milwaukee, Cleveland, Denver, and Alaska where many of my students live.

The second problem, is that girls don't actually look like that. There's expert lighting, photography, and photoshop that goes in to making the girls on the cover of the magazines look like that. The girls themselves don't look like that first thing in the morning and I say that as someone who has slept with 4 girls who have been in Playboy( The actual magazine not cyber, or college or any of that bullshit).


The third problem is that it's shallow as fuck. If you're most guys reading this, you want a girl to look past your surface level defects and like you for your confidence, social skills, charm etc... Yet girls are only getting judged on their looks?

Not fair.

And to make it clear to the idiots who read my blog, I'm not telling people to start dating ugly girls with good personalities.

What I'm saying is that you should aim to find a girl or girls(s) that you are physically attracted to ( If you're like me you're attracted to a decent amount of girls who aren't perfect 10s) who you have a lot in common with, who you get along with, and who you actually enjoy spending time with. Rather than consistently putting yourself around girls you hate in order to have some orgasm with a girl whose name you won't remember 3 years later.

Not that that's ever happened to me or anything :)

JS- The King Of Content

Friday, February 18, 2011

Winning The Game Part 3: The How?

Welcome back,

We've already talked about The Why?

We've talked about The Where

Now we're going to discuss the How?

Keep in mind this is not the how of the question How To Pickup Girls this is actually the question of how do I win the game?

Knowing why you're here and where you are help, but there is only 1 person who is going to be able to tell you what's going to actually make you happy.

And unfortunately that person is your undecisive ass...

The reason I called you undecisive is because if you're like most guys who get into this, you get enamoured with the various products out there thinking that you need to be able to do EVERYTHING with women in order to be able to choose what will make you happy.

This completely ass-backwards.

You have to think about what you want and then SYSTEMATICALLY ignore all other options. You must become consumed, by one goal and one goal only. Then if you get this goal and it turns out you don't actually want it, you set a new goal and go after that.

The problem here is the idea that there is some sort of master Pick Up Artist. Even when you're amazingly good with women(like I am) there are certain kinds of situations and women that you will NOT enjoy. Even if you're getting laid.

There's a reason I no longer go to bars and clubs despite having literally hundreds of same night lays in bars and clubs. It's because succeeding in bars and clubs, wasn't helping me win my game.

In the end the How comes down to how you're going to get from where you are to what you ULTIMATELY want. You can choose to skip the intermediate bullshit where you're stressing out and go straight to your end goal, but only if you're honest with yourself about what you actually want.

The final piece of information for finding your end goal is this, go with your gut. Your mind can rationalize anything and a lot of the goals guys have with women sound really amazing. This doesn't mean you'd like them. You may find that sleeping with a lot of girls makes you a hypocondriac or that juggling multiple women is too stressful for you, or conversely you may find yourself feeling hemmed in by monogamy and wanting to run free. Whatever your gut tells you will make you happy is what you should pursue.

In conclusion, the reason so many guys fail to win the game, is that they fail to understand it. As they say on " The Wire" "The game is the game." whether you succeed or fail in it depends on you.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Winning The Game Part 2: The Where

On Monday I talked about the concept of winning the game and how it really boils down to answering 3 questions for yourself.

We discussed the first question of " Why are you here?" Monday.

Today I want to move on to the second question you have to answer. Where exactly are you right now?

As I discussed in the first post, most of us do not live in reality. Which is why in NLP they say " The map is not the territory" instead we live in a clouded mess of distortions, deletions, generalization and most of all rationalization.

I've always thought you had to hit rock bottom in order to get the psychological leverage needed to get good. The problem of course with that kind of thinking is that 9/10 students could be at rock bottom and somehow rationalize that they're not really that bad.

You MUST be able to take an honest look at yourself and admit that there are parts of your personality, lifestyle and way you come across socially that are NOT helpful and need to change if you want to actually make progress moving forward.

You cannot improve, until you admit to yourself that you're fucked up.

And oh the ways students run from the truth. My favorite is when they bring up situations that obviously made them uncomfortable and then say they don't care about it. like on my last bootcamp a student mentioned that as he was leaving a group of girls he had talked to pointed at him and laughed. I told him he creeped them out and he should care and he immediately responded " I don't care." Which obviously he did or he wouldn't have brought it up 12 hours after it happened in the seminar room. Or when students tell me their happy with their sex lives. Yeah cause a lot of guys who are happy with their sex lives sign up for 5K programs on getting better with women. If your life has gotten to the place where you felt the need to go online to solicit help from other guys on how to get laid; you are FUCKED UP.

No judgment I was fucked up too, so was every other guru out there, it's just like Alcoholics Anonoymus though admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

JS- The King Of Content

Monday, February 14, 2011

Winning The Game Part 1: The Why?

For a long time now I've been interested in the idea of Long Term Success in pick up. I mean after all I don't want to be 40 years old and still going to the club to do cold approaches like a certain short bald guy who wrote a book.

It probably started for me when I saw that most of the guys I came into pick up with were starting to have kids, settle down, get married etc... And while I'm certainly not here to knock those options(in fact I'll argue soon that for 99% of guys that's the best option) that's not an option for me. It's not where I want my life to go and it wasn't ever going to make me feel like I "won".

So it got me to sit down and re-think about how success is defined in terms of pick up.

In a lot of the stuff you read and hear out there, success is defined by who can sleep wit the most girls, the hottest girls, the hardest situations, but does that actually lead to long term happiness?

I know from personal experience that defining your life by your ability to charm strangers out of their pants leads to all sorts of horrible side effects. So clearly the existing standards are designed for something else( The validation of other guys on the internet and that ephemeral feeling of knowing/being cooler than others if you wanted to know).

So a few years ago I started to reach out to other guys I felt were successful (Brad P and AFC Adam most famously) and I created a PDF for the 12M2M guys called Long Term Success or something like that and it basically said you had to define success on your own terms and most specifically for your life that already exists.

While I think looking back on that 2 years later that's an important part of winning the game, it's not the only part. In fact over the last few years(but especially the last 4 months I lived in phoenix and the last 8 months since I moved) I've made huge strides in understanding how to align everything in your learning process for the most success possible and as a result my game has exploded as well as my inner psychology and lifestyle. But most importantly I finally feel at peace with my goals, game and life, which I never had until the last 6 months or so and I can finally explain how it all happened in this 3 part post.

Winning the game requires answers to a lot of difficult questions, it's definitely not easy but it is fairly simple. In order to win the game, you need to answer 3 definitive questions about yourself.

But obviously you can't just answer these questions, you also need to come up with or learn systems in order to put the information you learn into action.

But when it comes to winning, all you need to know is

WHY are you here? What brought you to a place where you needed to go online and find more information about meeting, attracting and seducing women. Now a lot of guys stop at the surface level. I did for years. "I just want to get laid" I'd say, but I never stopped to wonder why. Why did I want to sleep with at least 4 new girls a month for 2 years in Dallas? Why was I obsessed with new pussy? Etc. We're gonna talk more about the Why in this post.

Where am I now? Where is your life in reality. Most people don't live in reality. They live in their version of reality, which includes all sorts of messed up beliefs, bad habits, lack of goals, an overall plan, living in reaction, chaos, unhealthy lifestyles etc. You have to start where you are. A lot of guys start where they are then once they learn a little bit or get a little success, they warp their view of reality again. You must constantly work to understand where you are in the now.

How do I get there? This is where tactics and techniques come in to play. You need both a map of how you're going to get there(Your goals) as well as systems to implement so you can practice and track improvement.

Today's Lesson: The Why?

The why is possibly the most important of the questions, because inevitably your first why will lead to a second one and a third etc.

I've been saying on bootcamps for years that no one ends up here by accident. Most guys took that to mean just that they had problems with women. But ironically issues with women are usually just symptoms of greater life problems.

You MUST take the shroud of bullshit that we all come up with in our heads down in order to look at yourself honestly, admit something has to change and admit what you want.

A lot of guys really just want a girlfriend but feel pressured by the marketing or other guy's results to attempt to become some sort of player or something. A lot of guys might want to be players but also want to make partner at work or be something like that.

So by asking yourself why you're here, you look at all parts of your life.

Maybe you're here because you spent the last 10 years working on your career and neglecting your social life.

Maybe you're here because you desperately want to lose your viriginity

Maybe it's because you just got out of a relationship

or NEVER get the girl you want

Maybe you just want to get your ex-GF back.

Whatever led you here, ask yourself why you were in that situation.

Chances are that will lead to another situation and another until a pattern starts to emerge which will tell you a lot about why you get the results you do.

Eventually you will find a root cause to most of your problems, as long as you fight the urge to rationalize.

Once you do that, you can begin thinking about solutions, eventually leading to the formulation of goals with the Why in mind.

It is only through goals with the Why in mind that we can begin to make any progress on the where and the how.

JS-The King Of Content

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Why Getting Laid Can Sometimes Be The WORST thing for your game...

Ok, now that I have your attention, I want to talk to you about when and how getting laid can actually HURT your overall progress.

If you're familiar with my teaching, you know I harp a lot on the idea of Inner and Outer Game symmetry. Which is a fancy way of saying that you need to improve your inner and outer game evenly, or face consequences.

The most common mistake guys make when it comes to inner/outer game symmetry happens when guys believe they are BETTER than they actually are. Usually this happens because they get some success early on. In fact over the course of 3 years of 12M2M the success rate of guys who got laid on their 1st bootcamp is MARKEDLY lower than that of guys who didn't. With one of those guys being Karl from Chicago who got laid with a cute 20 something in Las Vegas and still to this day swears all cute girls he approaches have boyfriends or only want guys with looks...

The reason is pretty simple, girls want to get laid too. If you go out and approach enough women, you will get laid. It probably won't be with your ideal girl, but you will find a girl who is down if you are willing to go out and approach enough. So sometimes you literally do "Get lucky". Not to say that there is no skill in just not fucking up when you have a girl who is really interested.

The reason this is bad, is that when guys get success too early on with pick up, it goes to their heads. They start to think that it's ALWAYS this easy. Or even worse they start to believe they are REALLY good at pick up before it's true. They instantly forget that they hadn't gotten laid in 2 years before that or that this is like the 3rd time they've ever approached a woman. This leads to a sense of entitlement and a complete bewilderment when they go back to their hometowns and no girls want to sleep with them or even return their calls. This leads to a lot of guys getting mad or saying " This stuff doesn't work" and then eventually giving up because they didn't realize the amount of work necessary to get good at cold approach. They thought it was ALWAYS going to be this easy. Like there is some sort of magic bullet that they just had to learn in a seminar room and then say to a girl.

The thing about pickup is that it is a process. Meaning that there are going to be ups and downs. Sometimes you get those highs early on, and while I think it's important to enjoy those successes and look at the tactical things you did right, you need to keep a balanced perspective about where you actually are. If you just got your first cold approach lay you;re NOT good at cold approach yet. Sorry.

Ironically I think one of the reasons I was able to become as successful as I am was because I went out and did 7 approaches EVERY day for 6 months without any results when I started in 2003. So I got used to the grind of cold approach and therefore wasn't surprised later on when things were tough and results were harder to come by.

So if you have an early success, stay humble, think about what you learned or what you did that worked, but don't get ahead of yourself. Start from the beginning by building a solid base of social skills before you start worrying about more advanced stuff. Even if you got laid on your bootcamp.

JS- The King Of Content

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Social Circle Game is A SCAM...

Today I'm kinda pissed off.

Every year there is a new and more pathetic "Magic Bullet"
in the pick up community,that promises to land
supermodels in your bed in 10 seconds
flat with 0 chance of ever being rejected.

One year some jackass in a
top hat says you have to "peacock",
the next year some a**hole tells
you he can teach you how to
NEVER get rejected again..

The latest trend to sweep our
little community is something
called social circle "game",
and it's a complete scam.

First of all how many guys
actually have time to participate
in 4-5 different social circles
or manage a group of 50-60 friends?

Unless you're a 20 something without
a day job or a club promoter, chances
are not many of you...

Secondly, most of us have friends
from years and years ago. These people
already have set images of who you are.
Some of us(like myself) have had some
friends since High school...

You're not going to suddenly transform
yourself and your friends into
a group of pick up navy seals or
some other such ridiculous notion.

And lastly like all the great pick up
scams it promises a quick fix.

Never again will you have to go to a bar
or club,

Never again will you have to approach a
stranger,

Never again will you have to learn to deal with
rejection,

and on and on.

Look let's be real here,

Chances are if you're reading this,
you DON'T have a huge social circle
teeming with attractive women, or the
time to build an elaborate network of
friends like some insecure loser trying
to re-create his glory days from high school.

In fact, chances are you're reading this
because you're not that social of a guy.

And that's ok.

You don't need to have a million
friends or reinvent yourself to be
successful with women. Whether that means
finding that one special girl or dating
around.

What you need to do is stop looking for
"Magic Bullets" like Social Circle game
and focus on becoming a more naturally
attractive person, who understands women
and the process of how sexual relationships
begin.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Monday, February 07, 2011

It ends TONIGHT... Don't Miss Out

Just a quick reminder that today is the LAST DAY
to register for my life-changing Seduction
Roadmap Training Program and get 3 special
Fast Action bonuses.

This offer expires TONIGHT at midnight.

So if you want to get in on this you need
to act now. Here's the sign-up link:

Seduction Roadmap

In this program, I takes you by the hand and
walks you through the entire Seduction Roadmap
process in step-by-step detail.

You get detailed explanations of each component of
the Seduction Roadmap as well as TONS of examples
and strategies of how to apply the Seduction Roadmap
in the real world.

To put in simply, after you go through the program
you will know the EXACT steps you need to take to
begin a sexual relationship with any girl you're
attracted to.

You'll also know how to apply these steps in ANY
situation and in ANY environment.

You get all of this for one ridiculously low
investment. Check it out:

Seduction Roadmap

Remember, this offer expires TONIGHT!

Talk to you soon,

JS

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

My Best Technique For Creating Sexual Attraction!

Yo,

I just put up a new video on the blog where
I demonstrate my #1 best technique for creating
sexual attraction with a smoking hot girl!

Here it is:

Sexual Attraction


This seriously might be my BEST VIDEO EVER.

See for yourself: # 1 Secret

Best,

JS-The King Of Content

P.S. In case you haven't watched the first video
in this series yet, it's still up on the blog.

You can watch both of these videos now:

Seduction Roadmap Blog