Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why Do You Deserve a 10?

Continuing on my theme from the other day, I want to talk today about one of the most annoying attitudes in the community to me personally; this idea is that all of us just should get 10s because we want them and because we went online to learn how to pick up girls. It's like saying everyone in a classroom deserves A's just for showing up.

This is an attitude that just about EVERY student I've ever gotten has had.

They may be virgins, who haven't kissed a girl in 5 years but they want 10s god damn it!

The worst offender in my opinion was Formhandle who used to run This is a guy who is 5'4, looks like a lumpy alien(he doesn't workout) with freckles, and has a personality which is slightly less interesting than watching paint dry( He is honest, though I'll give him that). Yet, he would consistently make comments to Cameron about "hitting on a lot of 7s." He would also say that he could get girls who were average before he got into the game and he didn't get in to pick-up to get 7s.


If we can be honest here, it is difficult to sleep with ANY girl off of a cold approach. Especially the same night. It is a ridiculous idea, because what you're essentially trying to do is walk up to a stranger and convince her to have sex you quickly. It'd be equivalent to walking up to a dude in a bar and trying to convince him to invest money with you, without any actual proof other than your social skills.

So, I reject the notion that Formhandle(who is nice) could do that with ANY women easily, regardless of what they look like. This statement holds true for all students as well. There are REASONS people end up on pickup blogs and in bootcamps, you don't just trip, stumble and end up in my classroom.

It used to really bug me, when students would come on a bootcamp and not approach a group of girls because they were " Not hot enough" or "I can get those girls". So now I just say that if they can approach those girls who are easy to get or not attractive enough and get a make-out within 10 minutes than they can approach whatever girls they want for the rest of the weekend. So far through about 100 bootcamps since I thought this gem up, no one has accepted the challenge.

Cold approach pick up is hard, it's doable and learnable but it is a difficult process. A lot of students assume they are somehow special and can skip straight to the top and to getting the hottest of hot girls. Some students can, but they are going to have A LOT of natural advantages like looks, connections, social status, access to girls, money etc...

You've also got to keep in mind that like attracts like. There's a running joke I have called giving up points. This refers to when a good looking person hooks up with a less attractive person thus giving up points based on how attractive he/she is. Girls don't tend to give up points as much as guys do. Guys will drop their standards strictly to get laid. Girls will drop their physical standards in exchange for the guy having some other attractive quality. I'm going to refrain from making the joke about how in Miami points are for sale...

This is where students get into problems, they think that just studying game or just approaching is enough to convince a 10 to like you, want to hang out again and ultimately sleep with you.

Which is just not true at all.

If you want to sleep with extremely beautiful women, you have to ask yourself why THEY would want to be with you?

What's in it for her that she can see upfront?

Having the ability to give women orgasms is nice, but it's hard to work into a conversation with a stranger.

Being nice to her? EVERYONE is nice to her?

If you want a 10, you have to appeal not to their sense of right and wrong or even their natural attractions, but their self interest. This could be something emotional like I keep her laughing all the time, it could be intrigue based like I know more about her than she does, it could be value based like I always know the best parties and have great connections, but SHE has to be getting something out of interacting with you she can't get from the other 45 guys in her life trying to bone her.

If you want to take this post one step further take a sheet of paper out and write for about 10-15 minutes about why you feel you deserve a 10 and why she should want to be with you.

Then take a break and come back to this post for part 2 posted below.

Exercise Part 2: Now write down the reasons you want a 10. When you're done, see if those reasons are for yourself, or to impress others.

If the reasons are solid and done for yourself, by all means go for your 10s, but if you're like most guys a lot of your reasons had to do with impressing others which is a bad reason to do all the work necessary to get 10s all the time.

JS-The King Of Content


  1. Sinn thank you so much for dropping gems like these! These posts are solid gold!

  2. Seiya4:04 PM

    lol the droppings points to get laid... I think some ppl reading are very familiar with that (including myself) =)

  3. Anonymous9:13 PM

    What if you are just a straight beast? Does this warrant deserving a 10?

  4. Hahaha Jon you're such an asshole and I kind of hate that I can't ever find anything tactical in your posts that I disagree with.

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  6. I think I've read at least 2-3 dating coaches who said that when a guy says a girl isn't attractive enough to approach, it nearly always means he's too nervous to approach. I've had social anxiety much of my life, and one shy guy on a forum had a great insight: "My anxiety is always arguing against my approaching any woman, so it has to be a hell of a woman to outweigh that." Of course, this attitude is a recipe for rejection, which in turn reinforces the shyness, in a vicious cycle. I suspect for most guys this is not a conscious thing. They are thinking about the pain of rejection when they look at a girl, and factoring that into her "attractiveness". If they can find faults in her, they escape a potential rejection -- so they non-consciously search for faults. And if you search for them, you'll find some.

    One more point: In some cases, guys *already* deserve wonderful girls but don't believe they do. Maybe you don't see that, but it's certainly happened to me. I've had women show interest in me that I would have put in my own personal "9" category, and I did nothing about it, because I thought, "What happens when she finds out about all my faults?" I strongly suspect many guys seeking dating advice need to be reminded of how many attractive qualities they have, not how many they lack.

    Still, I like the post and the exercises. Even if you aren't shooting for 10's, asking guys why they deserve a particular girl (even just a cute, sweet one) is motivational. Most guys aren't really *that* averse to self-improvement. I think they don't just want the girl, but to deserve that girl.

  7. James Walsh10:06 AM

    I would go as far as to say that the "rating system" is a load of crap.

    It's so subjective, one guy's 7 could be another's 10.

    Also a girl that you may think from looking at her is a 10, may be completely boring or just a complete bitch when you get involved in an interaction with her.

    In short guys, do whatever makes you happy, just please do not use shitty excuses not to approach! ;-)