Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Why Do You Deserve a 10?

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.


  1. Sinn thank you so much for dropping gems like these! These posts are solid gold!

  2. Seiya4:04 PM

    lol the droppings points to get laid... I think some ppl reading are very familiar with that (including myself) =)

  3. Anonymous9:13 PM

    What if you are just a straight beast? Does this warrant deserving a 10?

  4. Hahaha Jon you're such an asshole and I kind of hate that I can't ever find anything tactical in your posts that I disagree with.

  5. The post is very informative. It is a pleasure reading it. I have also bookmarked you for checking out new posts.

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  6. I think I've read at least 2-3 dating coaches who said that when a guy says a girl isn't attractive enough to approach, it nearly always means he's too nervous to approach. I've had social anxiety much of my life, and one shy guy on a forum had a great insight: "My anxiety is always arguing against my approaching any woman, so it has to be a hell of a woman to outweigh that." Of course, this attitude is a recipe for rejection, which in turn reinforces the shyness, in a vicious cycle. I suspect for most guys this is not a conscious thing. They are thinking about the pain of rejection when they look at a girl, and factoring that into her "attractiveness". If they can find faults in her, they escape a potential rejection -- so they non-consciously search for faults. And if you search for them, you'll find some.

    One more point: In some cases, guys *already* deserve wonderful girls but don't believe they do. Maybe you don't see that, but it's certainly happened to me. I've had women show interest in me that I would have put in my own personal "9" category, and I did nothing about it, because I thought, "What happens when she finds out about all my faults?" I strongly suspect many guys seeking dating advice need to be reminded of how many attractive qualities they have, not how many they lack.

    Still, I like the post and the exercises. Even if you aren't shooting for 10's, asking guys why they deserve a particular girl (even just a cute, sweet one) is motivational. Most guys aren't really *that* averse to self-improvement. I think they don't just want the girl, but to deserve that girl.

  7. James Walsh10:06 AM

    I would go as far as to say that the "rating system" is a load of crap.

    It's so subjective, one guy's 7 could be another's 10.

    Also a girl that you may think from looking at her is a 10, may be completely boring or just a complete bitch when you get involved in an interaction with her.

    In short guys, do whatever makes you happy, just please do not use shitty excuses not to approach! ;-)