Monday, November 19, 2012

Semi-Advanced Post: Attraction is highest the first time



 Here's one of my big new ideas, about escalation and emotions.

 Once you're good enough at this stuff that you get laid on a regular basis (say 10 new lays a year) then it becomes all about the idea of striking while the iron is hot. The reason being when you have good attraction game, you get the girl as attracted as she can be to someone in the first 10-15 minutes, you can only go two different routes:

1. You can lose attraction as no one(besides George Clooney) can sustain super high levels of emotional attraction (1 of 5 major types of attraction) that long. It's just the nature of emotions that they ebb and flow, which is THE major reason why there will always be a minimal amount of flaking even when setting everything up the right way. Attraction is an emotion of wanting more of a person, place or thing. Like any emotion it dims over time through the very ethereal nature of emotions as a whole.

2. The girl starts trying to play a longer term game as they see you as someone who she's so attracted to that she needs to hold off and try to make you her boyfriend. This is why guys with better attraction game tend to get more Last Minute Resistance and Player Vibe(especially for better looking guys) because they got the girl so attracted she either went past what she was comfortable with (if she was a more prude girl) or she went so fast that she needs to now balance the scales and get the guy to invest a little or she runs the risk of being pumped and dumped.

So how does this affect your game?

Well if you're looking for fast sex, it means you need to do a few things when you see a girl get SUPER attracted to you (Wide huge smile, lots of touching, laughing at things that are not funny in any way, admitting attraction when you use cocky humor etc..)

1. You need to escalate PHYSICALLY. All the verbal escalation stuff is great but what let's you know if you're going to get laid or if you're going to have a girl who's REALLY REALLY excited you're texting her is the touching. You have to learn to trust the touching over EVERYTHING else. I've had girls tell me I wasn't their type, I was too short, and I was too metrosexual for them while letting me grab their ass, makeout with them and remove their clothes on my bed...

2. You need to shit or get off the pot logistically. A lot of guys have girls into them, are making out with them and then NEVER try to get them out of the venue where that can actually turn into sex. This applies DOUBLY for Day Game. When I realized I could invite girls from the mall to my house, I started getting 30X the same day lays I got before. If a girl won't leave with you then she's not sleeping with you that night and you don't need to spend more time with her than it takes to get a phone # she'll respond to.

3. Memorize the phrases "What are you up to Later?" and " What do you have going on Tomorrow?" Sometimes things are really on but there are bad logistics. I met this girl at the mall on a bench and she had to go in 10 minutes but texted me that she was sorry and invited me to a party downtown the next day where we hooked up. The attraction is the highest when you meet, so whether you meet a girl at 10PM on a Friday or Tuesday at 1 on your lunch break you should start by trying to get her to hang out later before moving on to tomor and then later if it doesn't work out. Don't worry about trying to preserve your value by seeming busy strike while the emotions are high.

4. Make it sexual. I've talked about this sooo much in the last few years but once you have attraction you need sexual attraction and they are NOT always one and the same.

So there you have it, a breakdown of what to do when you have a girl soooo into you so it doesn't fade or flake because you waited too long.

JS- The King Of Content

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Get STD Tested!


 I just got back from passing my HIV test with flying colors and I have to say as harrowing of an experience as that is, you NEED to do it and not just for HIV.

Begin Public Service Announcement.

We big up promiscuity a lot in this blog and that's cool but the best kind of sex is safe sex. I always use condoms and get tested at least once a year. That's pretty much all you have to do and trust me if I can do it ( I literally had a panic attack at the Dr today convinced I was going to be told I'm dying) then so can you.

Most STDs are not that big of a deal for men and can be cured with a few pills, obviously HIV is a life ruiner but if you use condoms and don't have sex with women who exchange needles with others you're probably not going to get it. Though that won't stop me from freaking out about it again next year, gotta love hypochondria :)

The year's coming to a close and I know you'll feel better with the peace of mind of getting a clean blood test back, in most cities you can even get a free test that will have you out the door with results within 20 minutes.

That's my good deed for the year back to getting laid content on Fri

JS

Monday, November 12, 2012

"Fools Mate" The Most Low Self Esteem Idea EVER


 I was reading through some psych research this week, and in reading about people with co-dependent personalities I found some really interesting ideas that could be applied to both students who enter the community and the guys who have been teaching for quite some time like me :)

One thing that co-dependent people tend to have, is a need for relations with the opposite sex to be difficult. You can delve into the deep attachment and love style issues that cause this problem but if you don't want to read 1731 pages of Helen Fisher I recommend you take my word for it.

If you start with the idea that co-dependent people need relationships to be more difficult in order to re-create relationships with parents (Distant fathers for girls, smothering mothers for boys usually though it can be vice versa) then look at any of the 7-12 step formulas for getting laid (Which I used to embarrassingly buy into and teach as well so my bad) things start to make a lot of sense.

For instance the idea of fool's mate which Mystery and many other guys (including me, I'm no better I just finally figured out I didn't know what I thought I knew) have taught or used to justify why someone who wasn't them (usually a student or good looking guy) had quick success.

Fool's mate is the idea of just lucking into a girl who happens to be into you and getting laid almost despite your "game."  But this doesn't make sense if you put it up to any logic. How can getting laid quicker be worse than taking 7 hours? How can you luck into getting laid one time, while another time it was all skill? and most importantly: Why is it a bad thing that a girl just liked you and sex just happened?

Is it so hard to believe that a girl could just want to have sex with you?

It is if you're living in extreme levels of low self esteem, and self loathing.

But that's not a healthy way to look at the world or yourself, and I trust me I know.

So what's the solution?

Challenging yourself to look at the world as objectively as possible. It's bad to believe that no woman wants you and that she's clearly a naive and foolish girl if she sleeps with you quickly. It's also bad to flip the other way and start to believe that you are amazing with women no matter what their reactions tell you. We all have a way to success with women. Is it always going to be with those playmate looking 10s? No, not for everyone but everyone can find women they are extremely attracted to who will like them for them.

And that's not a fool's mate.

JS- The King Of Content

Friday, November 09, 2012

Escalating On High Points


 Happy Friday!

I know I'm ready for this week to be over with that's for sure!

I wanted to write a more big picture post today about escalation, it's not going to be heavy on tactics and techniques but more on an overall strategy for escalation that is extremely effective and easy to use.

What's this strategy you ask?

It's escalating on high points.

Most guys treat escalation like it's some sort of confusing thing. It's not. Escalation is easy if you know what you're doing.

Here's a few factors for escalation.

1. There is no perfect moment. In every Rom-Com ever made there's a perfect moment when the girl drops mustard on herself and the guy wipes it off and they're lips meet. That doesn't happen in real life. In real life you have to man up and escalate even if the situation is not ideal otherwise it's straight to the friend zone for you.

2. People are too stupid for subtle. It's true all the little non invasive escalations that you think are working. They Aren't.

3. Escalation builds momentum. The more a girl allows you to escalate the more she will allow you to escalate in the future.

So now that we know all of that let's talk about when to escalate.

The simple answer is, when it's going well. Girls are not that hard to figure out, if they're laughing, asking you questions, keeping the conversation going or touching you, it's time to escalate.

And what are we trying to escalate?

We can escalate the interaction in 3 different ways:

1. Verbally by giving her compliments, SOIS, demonstrating sexual interest, or qualifying her.
2. Physically pretty obvious but touching is the best way to screen what girls are into you and what girls are wasting your time.
3. Logistically moving the girl around moves the interaction forward.

So now we know what this should look like.

For example:

Girl laughs at a joke- touch her immediately
Girl asks a question- qualify her for her interest in you
Girl plasters a smile on her face- try to move her somewhere else

ANY TIME YOU ARE GETTING A POSITIVE REACTION YOU HAVE AN OPEN WINDOW FOR ESCALATION.

Hope that helps,

JS- The Once and Future King Of Content

 

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The Charisma Myth Notes and Exercises


 I finished this book a couple of weeks ago and I've been waiting for a chance to go through the notes and stuff I made on the kindle about this book since it's pretty relevant to what people come to this blog to read about, I figured I would post my notes here.

Quotes

Deciding to change your belief about what happened (cognitive reappraisal) effectively decreases the brain's stress levels. This came to light through research performed at Stanford University using functional MRI machines. The researchers concluded that deciding to change beliefs was a far more effective and healthier solution than attempting to repress or ignore emotions.

The key questions are: Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there? For charisma, you can use this technique whenever a situation threatens your level of warmth or confidence. For minor events, simply imagining an alternative explanation is often enough to reduce anger or impatience and generate compassion instead.

The Internal Charisma Checklist:

1. Take a deep breath and shake out your body to ensure that no physical discomfort is adding to your tense mental state.
2. Dedramatize. Remind yourself that nothing serious is happening. This only feels uncomfortable because of how you're brain is wired. Zoom out your focus to see yourself as a little person dealing with certain chemicals flooding your system. Nothing more.
3. Destigmatize. Remind yourself that this is normal and everyone goes through it from time to time. Imagine countless people all over the world feeling the same thing.
4. Neutralize. Remind  yourself that these thoughts are not necessarily real.
5. Consider a few alternative realities that are not as negative.
6. Visualize a transfer of responsibility. Imagine the weight of this problem being transferred to the universe god etc...

Self Compassion as a 3 step process:
1. Realize you're experiencing difficulty
2. Respond with kindness and understanding towards ourselves.
3. Realizing that whatever we are going through is commonly experienced by all human beings.

Concepts:

The core of charisma is involves behaviors that project: Presence, Power and Warmth.
Charisma begins with an internal state

Exercises:

Destigmatizing Discomfort:
1. Remind yourself this is normal and that we all experience it from time to time.
2. Think of all the other people who have gone through this especially people you admire.
3. Remember that right now in this very moment many others are going through the same thing.

Neutralizing Negativity:
1. Remember these thoughts may not be accurate.
2. See your thoughts as tiny little electrical impulses in your brain or as graffiti on the walls of your mind.
3. Depersonalize the experience.
4. Imagine the earth from a far and imagine zooming in on your tiny little problem.
5. Imagine your mental chatter as coming from a radio and turn the volume way down.

There's also a good visualization at www.Charismamyth.com/metta

Overall I'd give this book 3 out of 5 stars it was an interesting new take on some of the same old information in the persuasion world.

JS