I mentioned this rule of mine a few weeks ago and have been getting a surprising amount of comments asking me to post the thought so here goes.
Personally I don't believe men and women can be friends. I say this even though I have 90% female friends. The reason is pretty simple when people of the opposite sex spend enough time around each other, eventually one person or the other will develop a crush on the other person and vice versa.
Now the reason I can make this work is that I am always getting laid by new chicks so when my female friends inevitably get crushes on me or I start to get one on one of them I have another way to get laid so it doesn't become an obsession. Most guys don't have this and instead view the female friend as not only that one special girl but as a way to end their non intentional celibacy.
Girls who have a lot of male friends in my opinion are already making backup plans. Every girl I know who has a lot of male friends has a lot of male friends she has hooked up with in the past. She also has one or two male friends she thinks are cute or who she would hook up with if they weren't already in relationships.
But that's not even the main reason I say don't trust girls who have a lot of male friends. The bigger issue is that girls who have a lot of male friends tend to say a lot of the following statements:
" Girls are bitches."
" Girls are too catty"
" I'm like a guy in a girl's body."
" I treat sex like a guy."
" I date like a guy"
You get the idea. Because women are naturally competitive over men, any girl who stays away from girls is subconsciously doing it to eliminate competition. Girls get along better with other girls, or at least they're supposed to. A woman who doesn't have any female friends (Like this girl Kelly I dated after Kristen) is weird.
These girls also tend to get even needier than girls with female friends because they don't have the same kind of support system to discuss their problems with and ultimately a lot of these girls cheat.
So hopefully that explains why I always say you can't trust a girl with too many male friends. Or a guy with too many female friends if you're a girl but that's a whole nother story.
JS-The King Of Content
Friday, May 20, 2011
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Hey,how about hotties surrounded by gay guys.Is this bad?They have female friends and gay orbiters,how about this case?
ReplyDeleteOr how about not just many guys friends and many female friends type?
>>>The reason is pretty simple when people of the opposite sex spend enough time around each other, eventually one person or the other will develop a crush on the other person and vice versa.
I agree with you this statement.So,I think other guys around her also crush on her one time.It's good to know that.
I amogged by one of them.Now it really explains well.They don't say I am crush on her.But when I first met one of them,they will say 'what do you think of her?'Now,I really get it.They still mildly crush on her.Plus she hang out with guy who has girlfriend.But I am sure she will chase him after she is gone.
This is good post.
Hey,I have a question, how about girls who hang out with gay guys not guys.
Never date a girl with all girl friends either. Either way shows a person who can't get along with half the population.
ReplyDeleteGreat points Sinn. Great article.
ReplyDeleteI think date with fine.No restriction!Jon said don't trust but still f close etc but what he meant is that quality of girl is not quality girl.
ReplyDeleteIt's better to have date to quality girl.
Yeah,it explained how orbiter born.
I have problem with group of gay guys protecting hot girls.Gaymong is difficult to deal with than Amog.Amog is fine because you have already known how to deal with it.
Taylor Gang or Let Mike Tyson Whisper in Your Ear! Smoke something bitch!
ReplyDeletedeadly accurate. every girl who whom i was friends, that was the whole "i don't have a lot of female friends" type....fit the above list.
ReplyDeleteesp. the part about having hooked up with male friends etc.
take it as a red f'ing flag when you meet a chick that says the above about having mostly guy friends.
I disagree; I know a few girls who are counter examples to this. Perhaps this is due to me coming from a different culture etc, but I think girls usually don't get along with other girls. Sinn thinks it weird because he likes to hang out with girls more than guys (even if we take sex out of the question). I am the opposite, girls are generally less interesting to me than guys, which sucks because I want to fuck girls and not guys... but in terms of hanging out, girls aren't as chill as guys.
ReplyDeleteBecause of that, I can totally believe it when a girl hates other girls.
Trust them how ? To be committed ? To be monogamous ?
ReplyDelete>Or a guy with too many female friends if you're >a girl but that's a whole nother story.
ReplyDeleteWould be cool to hear more about your thoughts on guys with lots of female friends + what it means.
Awesome post! And I bet it also means they have father issues so another reason not to get into relationships with these kinds of girls.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Will definitely make up for tomorrow's most likely insane, childish but always entertaining "Fuck Neil Strauss" episode.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear your thoughts on guys with too many female friends.
ReplyDeleteNever Trust A Girl who doesn't get along with guys
ReplyDeleteNever Trust A Girl with female friends who are mostly ugly
totally accurate
ReplyDeleteNonsense. People have friendships between sexes with absolutely no feelings towards one another whatsoever all the time.
ReplyDeleteSweeping generalisations are balls out retarded.
This is extremely accurate. I've witnessed both sides of the sword here.
ReplyDeleteMy ex-girlfriend of 4 years had numerous guys who she would call friends. Well one was executed as a backup as soon as we broke up. She would do everything in her power to make me feel comfortable that these guys were "Only Friends"
On the other side some of my best guy friends have got really close with girls in our own social circle. They then developed feelings and ended up getting burnt.
Now this is one of my filters when I am getting to know girls. You can usually tell by facebooks. My ex-gf had a lot of guys constantly posting on her wall. I've met other girls that have had the same thing.
why do you call yourself "sinn"?
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a teenager. Grow the fuck up dude. I'm a girl and I mostly grew up with guys. Most of my friends are guys and they are like brothers to me, well two of them are. The rest are just regular friends. The others might have a crush on me or what not but I made sure right off the bat what was up. You can be just friends with the opposite sex with no sex. Just cool .
ReplyDeletethis is sexist propaghanda written by an illiterate nobody..don't listen to him, think for yourself. this disgusts me
ReplyDeleteI dated a girl that is as described, and he is right on point.Dont see this as a girl vs guy because I experienced it
DeleteI think girls who have all guy friends are trouble. If they have a few guy friends in addition to friends who are girls that is cool, but if they can't get along with other girls then they have a big problem. I agree with the post! Whenever I meet a girl who has all guy friends I immediately don't trust her (call it primal instinct). I have found that the girls with only or mostly guy friends are manipulative and love to encourage the crushes - it makes them feel desired. They need to grow up and stop teasing their "guy friends" who are probably secretly wanting them. They are fooling themselves into thinking they can be friends.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely and I'm a girl. I think girls who have tons of guy friends and who tend to say women are bitches or catty or they just get along with guys better are just insecure and feel the need to make themselves feel better by being surrounded by guys. I think that women ought to befriend other women and not try to step all over each other to one up another.
ReplyDeleteLove your posts!
-Elaine
Most girls like this end up lonely.
ReplyDeleteGuys can be bitches too.
ReplyDeleteFor the poster who said guys are generally more interesting to girls for him....idk, maybe you just haven't met the right girls. There are shallow people in both genders.
I totally agree with this, I have not met one person who challenges this point of view. Fair enough if you have equal amounts of guy/girl friends you can say you are an exception but if you favour the company of the opposite gender in a noticable and significant way you probably have issues.
ReplyDeleteI think those who get bent out of shape by the message in this blog (claiming that they massively prefer the opposite genders company and claiming that this is a healthy apporach to friendship) are exactly the kinds of people you are talking about.
I think they take special care to reduce "competition" to their own personal hareem of potential partners, fallbacks and attention substitutes.
Usually they can argue against anyone highlighting their unhealthy behaviour by labelling them as "insecure" or "sexist" in the hope that anyone in competition with them will not want to be seen as uptight or judgemental and so will be forced to drop the issue (and anyone of the opposite gender who notices this about a person will probably be someone who has every investment in allowing the chirade to continue so they won't voice the obvious).
My advice to anyone, do NOT trust anyone who clearly prefers the company of the opposite sex in friendships.... especally if they claim that all these people are "just friends".
We know its crap, they know its crap and so does the hareem....
invest in real friendships with people who prefer your company for more than just what shape your junk is.
anthropologically you should prefer the company and understanding of your own gender... mathematically (ignoring gender) it shou;ld be 50/50 so KNOW that if you are reading this and want to argue that you prefer friendships with the opposite sex... just remind yourself that the longer you keep this up the bigger a fool you will look for longer... everyone will pair off eventually and you will loose all your friends if you keep this unhealthy behaviour up because their partners will have NONE OF IT. Only the loosers who have fake relationships will stay friends with you, all the decent ones will listen to their partners and you will be frozen out.
I am a female who has had plenty of guy and girl friends in my life, yet the girl friends tend to flake out or become complete psycho bitches to me and the guys remain. I know some of these guys have had crushes on me and vice versa, but I've never hooked up with any of them and years later we're a in committed relationships with no attraction to each other. Their girlfriends are also great friends of mine now. No jealousy there. Now that I'm older I've found more mellow chicks to hang out with, but my oldest girlfriends are flaking off and a few girls at work even talk about me amongst themselves. I'm a drama free, compassionate person, so I think maybe it's jealousy. Some females are just intelligent and laid back girls who don't care about having an all pink wardrobe and name brand purses. I hate purses, and the color pink, and I don't have any desire to make miniature replica of myself. A lot of the crap you write here has no factual basis. I was bullied by girls for 8 out of 12 grade school years. Do you blame me for not trusting my own gender?
ReplyDeleteyes, i blame you.
DeleteWow, what an ego. I have mostly male friends, and we get along fine. I date other men regularly, but don't really enjoy the company of other women. Most of the women I have MET (I am sure there is a large population that I could probably get along great with if we just met and got to talking a bit) prefer to sit around and nag about their "lazy ass husbands" and how they are "stuck" with their kids (nobody forced you to stay fertile there girlie), and how they never have enough money for what THEY want (they get manicures, pedicures, the latest cars, gadgets etc, and some of the women I have met have all of that plus a househusband!). I get sick of people sitting around bitching and moaning about the same thing day after day and not wanting to do anything about it. If they are so unhappy there is a new thing out called a divorce. I believe every state in the union has that option now.
ReplyDeleteWith men I can talk about sports, history, science and different things females generally find "nerdy" in me. I like to tell dirty jokes and most of the women I've met in groups don't like to hear that stuff or don't get the jokes.
Inevitably I am not invited back after a few visits because the wives get pissed (not jealous of me) at me because I spend time with their husbands and SHOULD have been just hanging out with them - because that's what women do or so I have been told.
I grew up in a houseful of bitchy women. I don't need a whole life like that.
I have only had a crush on one male friend. We both kept the sex out of the deal and he is dating someone and so am I.
I'm sorry if your own hormones can't be shut off, but most of the population are grown ups who know boundaries.
ALL relationships work if people WANT to make them work and respect one another and their boundaries. You might want to start thinking with your BRAIN and not your penis.
Erin, thank you for your above post. You are clearly someone with their head in the right spot, unlike the author of this post. I am in the same boat friend-wise. All of my close/best friends are guys. That doesn't mean I have a crush on any of them or have ever thought about it. Most of the guys I hangout with ARE in committed relationships, as am I. My boyfriend is completely okay with me having predominantly male friends.
ReplyDeleteNEWSFLASH, "Sinn," in general, girls ARE catty bitches. Not all, I'll grant women that, but as Erin said:
>>I get sick of people sitting around bitching and moaning about the same thing day after day and not wanting to do anything about it.
It is tiresome and just plain annoying! Girls are so obsessed with judging eachother and one-upping them, it is ridiculous. I prefer to be around people who have a POSITIVE outlook on life, and don't complain or bitch about things they ARE able to fix, yet are too lazy to address. If you haven't noticed, being that you are obviously a guy, GUYS DON'T COMPLAIN AND BITCH ABOUT STUPID SHIT! I WISH I could find female friends like Erin Kathleen. She and I appear to be on the same level.
>>invest in real friendships with people who prefer your company for more than just what shape your junk is.
The above blip is completely illogical. My "real friendships" ARE with people who prefer my company rather than "what shape my junk is," and they're guys! IMAGINE THAT! If I were to be around people who's only care was about "what shape my junk is," I'd simply not acknowledge them. They are clearly not mature enough to have any sort of a friendship with me, nor would I want one from them.
Saying you can't trust girls because they have only guy friends is completely sexist and disgusting. In my eyes, if girls are uncomfortable with other girls being best friends or good friends with their significant other, then THEY'RE the ones that are insecure about themselves.
Whomever was the person who posted:
>>And I bet it also means they have father issues so another reason not to get into relationships with these kinds of girls.
WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!? 100%, completely inaccurate. My father and I have a great friendship, in fact, he IS one of my best friends and always will be! What the hell does a girl having mainly guy friends have any connection with whether her relationship with her father is good or bad???? You people clearly need a reality check, or just to grow up, because all of the people who agreed with "Sinn" are completely out of touch with reality.
In your defense, I'm sure there are SOME girls who only have guy friends for the reasons listed, but certainly not ALL of woman-kind. Get a grip and grow up. This is ridiculous.
true..I think personally in my life experience. I always meet girls who claim there special or down to earth, just because they have heaps of guy friends. and yeh they say all that stuff about females yet theyll be hypocrites. It took along time for me to figure this out.. now days I will roll my eyes when I hear this from women.. and now days everyone is meeting online, so these single girls who accumulate guy friends they think r friends. But in the back of a guys mind theyll be thinking more..and its always the case, one guy eventually plays his cards.. The 2 become a couple and the rest are forgotten or become a distant friend on facebook with nothing moore. Its always a matter of time Ive had this happen to me from both girls in the real world and ones Ive met online..Personaly i think girls who are much more trust worthy are in a mixed sex group of friends, and with the acception of them being opening for guys they like to join. I mean like as in potential without this idea of draging around a fishing net and doing there homework later..
ReplyDeleteAll fighting on here aside, girls who have all guy friends are hurting those guys. Who gives a shit why you're doing it? If I was speeding my ass off( for a good emergency reason), and caused an accident would the victim care? Most likely not.
ReplyDeleteI really can't help but laugh at the women on here. "stop thinking with your penis". What a joke. They are missing the fact that an asshole thinking with his penis and a guy who got emotionally demolished by some bitch are two VERY different things. Whenever a female friend tells me about a guy not wanting her the way she wants him, its all about feelings right? However a guy in the very same boat, is some pervy loser who doesn't deserve any kind of a chance? Get real. Men have feelings too, sometimes they actually care about the girl in question and don't just want sex. If they did they would just say "cool, onto the next bitch". Instead of going through all the shit most guys go through, because they are not the monsters women make them out to be.
I want to give you a high 5
DeleteYou should not judge how trustworthy a girl is by how many guy friends she has. You should judge her by getting to know her.
ReplyDeleteI think there are many reasons legitimate reasons a girl may make lots of guy friends e.g. being a tomboy, being forced to spend a lot of time around guys, finding girls less approachable.
However, having mostly guy friends can cause problems:
If she's attractive then her guy mates may try and sleep with her. And naturally she may become attracted to some of them.
She may copy her guy mates and start to treat sex like a guy. And for a girl its easy to get sex so she will end up sleeping around.
She may become so used to being friends with guys that she finds it difficult to be friends with girls.
For these reasons, girls with a lot of guy mates may be perceived as untrustworthy. And no doubt there are some who cant be trusted.
Whether she is trustworthy or not is a completely different matter and depends on the individual person. If she is trustworthy she will be careful to make sure her guy friends are definitely just friends. And you should trust her unless she gives you reason not to.
yup tat's great i agree wit u dude many of the girls r bitches nd rest of the grls also trying 2..... nasty girls
ReplyDeleteI agree with this post. There is absolutely no excuse in dismissing over half the world's population, friend wise. If you refuse friendship with those of a certain race or sexuality, you are correctly deemed as hateful and ignorant. It should be the same for genders.
ReplyDeletehaha did you forget what friend implies? You have to choose to be friends with someone. So by you believing that people shouldn't refuse friendship with the opposite sex,different races..etc, you are against people having a choice? They should be branded and hated because they wanted to be true to themselves?
ReplyDeleteI'm black and have dealt with a little racism, but you know I would never want to be friends with someone who doesn't trust black people. More so if they were forced to be my friend out of your over simplified view of the world.
Also. Adult males aren't really allowed to hang out with children right? Everyone is okay with this, because children sometimes can be taken advantage of. In opposite sex friendships, that can happen just as easily. A different kind of abuse of course, not as terrible as molestation. However, girls in a "friendship" with some poor sap, usually leave the guy a sad,empty shell.
There was a time when I thought a girl n a boy could be friends. Of course, I was always in females' circle, but was just open minded about the concept. When I started dating my boyfriend the first time he mentioned to me how he promised himself to never trust a woman with guy friends. I asked him why and this is what he answered "women who have too many guy friends are emotionally weak and are in need of attention and support. I call them whores. One man simply won't do for them. If they end up having some sort of problem in the relationship instead of solving it, the first thing they would do is to call up a guy friend and tell him how pathetic her boyfriend is. The next thing would be crying on his shoulder and then spending the night in his cozy bed."
ReplyDeleteI didn't take his words seriously despite thinking they had logic. Right after 6 months, my friend and her boyfriend broke up. The reason he gave me was that she said bad stuff about him to one of her guy friends. According to him, in the chatscript, she went on complaining about him. The guy friend responded "why don't u just dump his ass". Such a harsh line would hit anyone's ego...not just a boyfriend's. Overall, guy friends do cause problems. By the way, I also think a guy with too many female friends is a no no for a relationship.
I am glad that my boyfriend has 0 female friends.
I am a girl with more male friends than female friends, just by coincidence, and you are WRONG! I am an attractive girl (and no I am not saying this to toot my own horn, why would i do that on a site where I am known as anonymous) and I can tell you some girls will be intimidated and be mean to you. I have some female friends and they are great, no competition between us at all. Some of my male friends might have been expecting more in the begining, but now they treat me as one of the guys (thats not to say that nothing will ever happen, because you are correct because sometimes out of the blue things can happen), but they are wonderful friends to me. In life it's more important to find people you get along with regardless of gender, then to worry about what others think, especially when their theories are bull, you can believe it if you want, but don't try and pass it off as some kind of infallible proof! If youre SO is unable to get along with members of the opposite gender then they have a problem (thats FIFTY PERCENT OF THE POPULATION!) and if you forbid your lover to have friends of the opposite gender TAKE LESSONS IN SELF ESTEEM!!!!
ReplyDeleteWHAT A LOAD OF SHIT THIS IS. sounds like someone's extremely insecure lol! feel sorry for you more than anything, really...
ReplyDeleteAhh what women will say to maintain their perfect little bubble world full of horseshit. Admit it already ladies, you just want to surround yourself with a bunch of adoring dudes who are all competing for you.
ReplyDeleteGirls can't get along with other girls and that's supposed to be my problem? If girls aren't so fucking bad, why aren't more of you friends with each other? If girl power rocks so hard, why are girls coming up with any excuse no matter how generic...to keep themselves away from each other and surrounded by dudes??
I like women, I actually would be interested in truly falling in love with one(not being tricked). I was brought up like most boys to want to care for them...and LOVE them. You are their friend and husband(or w/e). Not just friend. I have my male friends, my boys if you will. From there I would like to maintain a strong relationship with a woman, who can actually put up with her own kind. And because of this i'm the devil apparently.
If i'm the bad guy because keeping things on an even plane actually appeals to me then so be it.
I hate women im going through this very shit as we speak i hate women im going gay!
ReplyDeleteI don't trust them and it hasent failed me yet fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me its happend once won't happen agen
ReplyDeleteYou are 100% about everything you said. You actually left a few reasons out. Like you said, girls with all guy friends are eliminating competition, but they also love to be the center of attention and they love adoration.
ReplyDeleteTrusting a woman is probably the biggest mistake a man could make.
ReplyDeleteCorrect.. +100
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