Monday, April 02, 2012

Girls as Options Traders

One of the things that is hardest for guys to understand when it comes to dating is why women flake.

So to help you understand this I want to present a thought experiment.

Think of women especially attractive women as options traders every night of the week.

Now obviously there will be a couple of nights a week where she wants to relax, but for the most part attractive women in their 20s and early 30s are open to doing something most nights.

This is where the issue comes in, most guys believe they are WAY more important to women they just met than they actually are. The cold approach guy (Unless he really connected with the girl emotionally, or she's new to town, doesn't know many people etc) is going to be pretty low on the options list depending on where a girl is in her life (the exception here is if the girl is actively single and looking to date a lot). Cold approach guy (CAG) is going to be below a guy she's been crushing on for awhile, a great party, and any existing social obligation with her girls, co-workers etc...

So that sounds depressing right?

Not really because it gives us some ideas of how to alter our approach to getting girls out.

1. We need to start with low option nights. I was talking to Rob Judge yesterday and we were both amazed by how often new students will ask girls out for Fri or Sat and be surprised when the girl can't make it/flakes. On a Fri and Sat there are LOTS of options! Those are the nights most of her friends/etc will be going out. She's also more likely to be attending parties or events (wedding showers, Openings). This is WAY less likely on a Tuesday. I don't ask girls out on Tuesdays because I think weekends are for meeting new girls or some other faux player mantra, I do it because it's more effective and there's less competition.

2. You need to present an attractive option. Going for dinner or a drink sounds boring. You need to build intrigue into your date by making it a surprise or really selling it. I don't just invite girls out for kareoke I invite them to the funniest, weirdest kareoke place ever... The more you make the date seem like something that is going to be really fun regardless of the fact she's with you the better it will work.

3. You need to make it easy to say yes. This seems obvious but you'd be amazed how many guys try to overcomplicate things here with the girl. They want to tell her what to wear and they want it to be on their side of town that the girl has to take two trains and a bus to get to. Make it easy for her, the easier it is to show up the more chances she will.

So the next time you're asking a girl out on the phone or over txt think of her as options trader and think of your date as the option you really want her to pick.

JS

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:14 PM

    WTF?

    Wednesday, March 07, 2012
    K.I.S.S # closing system

    First you simply ask going for a drink to get her number, then on phone you're really selling it?

    Why don't you sell it from start?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Logistics are SO important for getting girls to come out on dates. Thanks for mentioning the weekend rule - Fri and Sat nights are usually bad days to pick for first dates. I prefer Sunday - Wednesday :)

    Keep em comin' Sinn

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:25 AM

    tenmagnet instructor said something similar to sinn (on the LS interview series) he said in the beginning make your plans sound vague!! and as you get closer to the date then start becoming more specific and specific

    also, daygame.com has reduced flakes by making the girl invest heavily!!...asking her qualifiying questions using open ended questions "what" "how" "why".....this get's the girl talking & talking and doing most of the work which solidifies attraction

    I have tested it out in the field and it works wonders!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2:31 AM

    thanks for this sinn!!!

    please post more about flakes

    about your new discoveries!!!!

    I already read your flakes book but I know you have more info on this topic that may seem obvious to you!....but not to us!

    many thanks sinn!! your' blog will always be my favourite!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous6:49 AM

    Overselling date is like undermining your confidence.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4:12 PM

    Hey Sinn, that´s it!!!
    but here my problem: option trader - loosing attraction or
    "kiss frogs, but don`t think about" ??

    Met a girl after a live-concert and talked about 1 hour,
    Took her out there, and went a good way along of her way home.

    Push- Pull, touching, laying the arm around her, taking it away...

    She looked like "want to be kissed" ... push: near her face, (1 hour later)

    ME "I can´t tell you what I´ m thinking about" moving back, doing nothing and
    Talking...

    She wanted to get my telephone number, because she would like to meet for a beer.

    I gave her (push - oh I don´t have anything to wirte.. how should we do that? ) - pull and let her ring me up (:

    She said that she has to pack her suitcase and go by train the next morning, it´s cold
    and she has to drive the longer part of the way by bicycle.

    She Looked in my eyes, smiling..... like "lets kiss"

    Kissed softly after a while she sayed: I really should go now, otherwise...

    Me: You have to leave now ! go away ! she went on her bike giggeling and I gave her a small clap on her back -

    She went away, me too (:

    Next morning (8hours later) I send a sms :

    ME: It was really fun to get to know you :) wish you good travelling and a nice day - me

    HER: Hey, was really glad to talk with you, too

    But I fear that I made the wrong signs... sorry! Happy Easter - her

    ME: Hey PirateGirl, I talk about good friendship and you are again planning all future (;
    I`ll adopt you as my new little sister :)

    HER: Then everything is fine (: was afraid that you could interprete the leaving-kiss wrong...

    ME: Really? Oh.. than I´m really pregnant now... From my sister (-;

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9:56 AM

    The elusive Jamie Doyen?

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Doyen/1009071975

    ReplyDelete