Today I want to talk about a really really important topic for long term success with pickup, dating and relationships.
It's the idea of not taking everything that happens to you personally.
In life, most of what happens to us is not personal.
The world is a chaotic, random and unpredictable place. A lot of people have problems dealing with this so they turn to belief systems to make them feel like everything happens for a reason.
In reality, none of us are that special.
One of the biggest mistakes students make ( And I admit I can STILL do this too) is taking a specific situation with a girl personally. Most likely, it had less to do with you and more to do with her. And I don't mean that in a "it's her loss" type of justification.
What I mean is ALL of us make decisions based on what we BELIEVE to be best for us at that time. We usually base this on our emotions at the current moment.
But because all of us are self-absorbed, we believe that we are somehow the cause of every action or reaction in our immediate world.
Which is interesting, because we don't believe we're the cause of every action in the entire world, or all Americans would feel guilty about being at war with 3 different countries right now.
So we've got to learn to take a step back mentally, before we assign blame on ourselves or start looking for personal reasons a girl didn't respond to an approach or didn't return a call or text, or whatever.
I've written before about internal vs external locuses of control, but I think a lot of guys especially at the beginner and intermediate levels think they can control MUCH more than they actually can.
Here's a mind fuck for those guys who believe they can control everything; You CAN'T actually FORCE someone to be attracted to you.
Real success with women is not some sort of magic fantasy world where everything goes perfectly all the time. Sometimes it's pretty close, but most of the time it's a series of habits, actions and processes(Which include rejection and handling it) that yield long term results. Not any one particular interaction or result.
So stop taking it personally when things don't go your way and stay focused on the processes, actions, and habits you need to take to make your success happen.
JS-The King Of Content