Friday, April 22, 2011

Empathy and Pickup

One of the biggest issues holding men back from meeting, attracting and dating the women they want, is the idea of empathy.

Forget the dictionary definition of empathy, as we're going to be talking about empathy specifically as it relates to pick-up.

For the sake of this article, we'll define empathy as the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes in order to relate to the experience they are currently having.

In the beginning guys try to empathize by looking for what used to be called " Indicators of interest" or IOIs. Guys think that if they can see a few (What they consider) to be sure-fire signs then they'll know that the girl is attracted to them. This however discounts any alternative theory for explaining the girl flipping her hair, or crossing her legs towards you.

In the beginning attempting to be empathetic when meeting women is like shooting yourself in the foot with a bazooka. Twice.

Until you are consistently getting movement and phone numbers, you DON'T want to spend too much time trying to figure out what a woman is thinking or feeling. In general this will only mess a beginner up as there are soooo many things you need to be focused on that are infinitely more important than what the girl is currently thinking/feeling. In the beginning (I.E.90% of you guys reading this), YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH WITH WOMEN TO WORRY ABOUT EMPATHIZING.


Once you're consistently getting movement and phone numbers, then learning to empathize and read where a woman's at emotionally is the single best thing you can do to work on your game.

Past a certain point you want to adopt my mantra which is " The only thing that actually gets you the girl, is how you make her feel."

Learning to empathize, starts by asking yourself a question like " What is she feeling, right now?"

You must make it a priority in the intermediate stage to learn to put yourself in the woman's shoes.

One of the most amusing things about pick up to me, is this; we as the guy approaching spend so much time, effort, and energy thinking about the approach, practicing tactics and techniques and analyzing these interactions that to a woman are LITERALLY just some time a guy walked up to her and started talking.

To most women approaches seem RANDOM. Especially in the beginning. Then you have all sorts of other misunderstandings that occur when you believe one thing is going on and the woman thinks it's the other.

Either way if you want to improve you have to know what levels of empathy you need to be using.

In the beginning it's best not to be empathetic at all and to focus instead on the process. But once you start getting some success, it's time to turn on the empathy to see if you can figure out what's really going on with your approaches.

JS-The King Of Content

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:27 PM

    >>Until you are consistently getting movement and phone numbers, you DON'T want to spend too much time trying to figure out what a woman is thinking or feeling. In general this will only mess a beginner up as there are soooo many things you need to be focused on that are infinitely more important than what the girl is currently thinking/feeling. In the beginning (I.E.90% of you guys reading this), YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH WITH WOMEN TO WORRY ABOUT EMPATHIZING.


    yeah,you are right.DJ Fuji talked about this many places.He said you totally changed him.You are not just great game player but also great game coach.You can coach from layman to pro.I heard DJ Fuji body language MP3,I think it was bonus from Sinn's product.It is great stuff for beginners.

    Seduction road map is great products but those 90% beginners need to learn more approach and identity part from you.I know other companies focus on approach and you felt those product lack of sexuality,then you made seduction road map.

    Like you always say go out and do it.Since you don't have live workshop not many times.Approach and Identity video comes with some infield example is great though.

    I mean you products focused on after approach.some people need Identity to move.

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  2. Anonymous8:51 PM

    "One of the most amusing things about pick up to me, is this; we as the guy approaching spend so much time, effort, and energy thinking about the approach, practicing tactics and techniques and analyzing these interactions that to a woman are LITERALLY just some time a guy walked up to her and started talking."

    Solid point. This is the equivalent ov women spending countless hours in front ov make counters and bathroom mirrors on ludicrous myriad details that 99% ov men are oblivious to and could give a fuck about.
    I'm convinced, partly from my own behavior, that for many men in 'the community', studying pick-up is really just a way to avoid mustering up the courage to fail until they succeed at sexual interactions with women. I wonder if there's a correlation between the amount ov time a women spends on her external appearance and her sex life.

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  3. Empathy is one of the best ways to approach and to lead.

    A leader is measured by how much he can motivate people to achieve a goal together. And that is only done if he can understand what they are feeling and wanting at the moment.

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  4. Anonymous2:35 AM

    I would like to ask for an elaboration on "process".

    I am making the mistake of focusing too much on iois as Sinn was saying. He suggested that for beginners, focusing on the process would be better.

    But what exactly does that entail? I do not understand.

    ReplyDelete