Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Shut the Fuck Up!!! or How to use silence effectively

Hey there,

Today I wanted to address something that is a big sticking point for most guys who are intermediate-advanced (myself and 99% of instructors included).

You talk too goddamn much...

Once guys learn how to keep a conversation going forever, they forget that sometimes talking more is not the best solution. And that often the more you talk, the more likely you are to say something stupid or even worse use some sort of tactic or technique incorrectly.

Instead once you've HOOKED a conversation, oftentimes it's a good idea to shut up, smile(this is KEY as you don't ant to stop talking and stare like a serial killer) and see what the girl does.

One of the problems with talking too much is that it eliminates the inherent tension present when a man approaches a woman. This tension is what allows escalation to happen, when the woman becomes more comfortable with an escalating interaction than she was with the underlying tension in the silence.

It also provides a great opportunity to see where the girl is. Oftentimes I'll shut up thinking I'm still trying to get attraction and the woman will respond to my silence by asking a deeper question or by simply giving me a compliment.

Again I want to remind you that this is for guys who HOOK sets. It's never a good idea to start a conversation with a woman, and then shut up, UNTIL she is actively participating in the conversation and would rather you talk to her than leave. Until that point you gotta run your mouth, but after that it's a good idea to shut up and see what happens.

JS-The King Of Content

8 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:25 PM

    Like this one Sinn.. Silence is golden.

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  2. Anonymous7:33 PM

    Jon....when I saw you on Insider...I was literally saying "SHUT UP" at the screen.

    You could NOT stop talking. It was bad dude.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, that's actually good advice. I mean I already kinda knew this, put seeing it on your blog helped^^ However don't you guys think that when you're in a set, if you don't talk enough, they may eventually squeeze you out? Just wondering...

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  4. Anonymous10:22 AM

    This is really shitty advice for guys that don't get out a lot, as they tend to not talk enough and just let the conversation fizzle out and things go nowhere; I can see it being useful for guys that have alright game. Just think of when you hang with your friends, do you make sure that you are talking 100% of the time? No. Sometime you’ve just got to shut up to keep the vibe going.

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  5. Anonymous11:20 AM

    Jon,

    do you have an opinion on this?

    thanks
    ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


    COLUMBUS, Ohio | Thu Jun 30, 2011 6:47pm EDT

    (Reuters) - Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich on Thursday signed into law a bill that allows gun owners in the state to carry concealed weapons into bars and other places where alcohol is served.

    The measure, which was forwarded to Kasich on June 22 by the Ohio General Assembly, was signed on Thursday afternoon. Kasich is scheduled to sign the Ohio budget later Thursday.

    Businesses can ban concealed weapons on their premises for safety reasons if the want to and some, like the Cincinnati Bengals football team, have indicated they will continue to bar gun owners from bringing firearms into the stadium.

    The law also prohibits gun owners from consuming alcohol or being under the influence of alcohol or drugs when they carry their weapons into bars.

    The new laws allow residents to carry concealed handguns into licensed establishments in the state, including shopping malls and sporting venues.

    The new law also allows a person with a concealed carry license to transport a loaded handgun in a motor vehicle without securing it in a holster, case, bag or box -- and allows them to remove a handgun from a secure location.

    Opponents of the laws had said that mixing guns and alcohol would endanger public safety. Supports argued that the laws bring Ohio into line with other states that have concealed carry rules.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1:07 PM

    I realize that girls hated awkward silences more than you hate Peyton Manning, but I think I see your point. Burying a girl in words is exhausting, not fun.

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  7. Anonymous8:48 PM

    Jon, this is one of the things the community doesn't not teach. thank you for posting this. this should help so many guys out there.

    girls can totally tell when your not comfortable with silence. you guys don't have talk all the effing time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous3:36 PM

    Help on frames and lenght in phone calls.
    Hey guys I don't want to make a long story explaining why I'm asking this because the question is really simple (to anybody who has been in my situation).

    How long a phone call must last with a chic you want make your fuck buddy, lay her ASAP, and the same you have had a very sexual framed interaction since the approach?

    I'm asking because I'm having great, 3 hours long and pleasurable conversations with some of the girls I talk on the phone, I sexualise when I have the opportunity. But I think, probablly the lenght is still changing the frames and purpose of our interaction confusing them and probably delaying sex.

    I remember that I don't have a lot of experience creating friends with benefits or having snls. Need help of guys who does.

    OH SORRY AND NOT ONLY THE LENGHT, THE INTENSITY I CALL IT COULF AFFECT THAT TOO?
    I love to call, and I do with some of those numbers calling each day, once.

    ReplyDelete