Thursday, February 08, 2007

Fergie, girl-woman thinking and the need of the USA to grow up.

While Fergie's songs are catchy and I sometimes find myself singing along, if I listen to the lyrics I vomit a little bit in my mouth.

I understand that Fergie is hot, and a lot of people myself included want to put it in her pooper. I get it. Really I don't need to hear 8,000 songs about it.

This type of bragging and boasting is the manifestation of a larger issue, that of not growing up. In modern society post- Industrial Revolution, we have become a nation of adolescents. We largely equate age with maturity and man or woman-hood. But it is not the same thing. You can be a 10 year old man or a 35 year old boy. Maturity does not necessarily come from age, it comes from the way you think and present yourself to the world.

There are no more initiation rituals or even the close bond of a parent or elder educating us in a trade to help us make the metamorphosis from boy(or girl) to man or woman complete. We never get an explanation of waht it means to be a man (or woman). We grow, but we don't grow up. We still engage in the boy behaviors of manipulation,acting spoiled, cheating, arrogance, etc...

The boy must die in order for the man to live. Most men are not men, they are adult aged boys. The reasons for this are many but they mostly relate to our lack of being taught how to be men and not having clear defined models of masculinity. God help you if you are growing up now, at least I had Michael Jordan. Instead of growing up idolizing the chief of our tribe or the most accomplished warrior or OUR FATHERS( which is actually where a lot of this immaturity comes from but that will have to wait until another post). Today's generation grows up idolizing petulant child athletes, and people like Fergie who embrace their immaturity as a point of pride.

We are not shown the way to maturity. We constantly seek the approval of our mothers, fathers, men and women. Instead of learning to be self sufficient and find comfort from within. We look externally to fill the hole within us. We try to fill it with clothes, drugs, women, and money. All the while seeking a solution, that is within yourself.

It's not your fault you were probably raised by someone who themselves was not a mature man. And as well intentioned as our Mothers may have been, you cannot substitute for the prescence of a man role model.

The way to manhood and maturity is a difficult process, we have substitutes in modern society such as fraternities, the military, and team sports, but none of these teach what it is like to be a real man.

My problem with fergie is that she is a pop star so she is passing her immaturity to our youth. Everyday there are literally MILLIONS of little girls singing along to my humps, or Fergilicious and thinking that this kind of immaturity is glamorous and should be celebrated. If that thought didn't make you shudder, perhaps you should consider your level of maturity.

i have been very immature almost all of my life, but lately I have been focused on becoming a mature person who identifies himself as a man. That's why you will not find me engaging in boy behaviors, boasting or manipulation of any kind anymore. I am going first. Though the process is difficult and means acknowledging a lot of painful holes within my psyche, I am determined to live the rest of my life as a mature man in control of himself and his path.

I encourage everyone else including Fergie to do the same.



  1. Anonymous6:34 PM

    nice post, sounds like the on being a man program touched u at another level

  2. Anonymous7:35 PM

    Sinn, I beleive a childlike state to be the superior, as do taoist Buddhist followers.

    To me it seems like you're striving to be boring, only time will tell.

    I reccomend a book called the Tao of Pooh, it covers the process of manhood and what people percieve to be the way.

    Check it out, and good luck on your journy.


  3. Being a man doesn't equate to being boring, it equates to having values, standards and clarity in your path.


  4. Anonymous1:10 AM

    I like monkeys

  5. That was outstanding. Exactly the sort of "call a spade a spade" tough love that morally bankrupt Americans need...

    Matt - get a clue.

  6. Nice man, this is one of my favorites. I feel the same way about Beyonce and her songs about how much men such (No No No, Bills Bills, Bugaboo, Independent Women, Jumpin Jumpin, Upgrade You, Say My Name, To The Left (irreplaceable?))

    And there is no way I can still consider Fergie hot (for one she looks mad wrinkled & old) especially since she PEE'D HERSELF on stage!!! Google that shit.

    That shit is GROSS

    Fuck it, I'll ruin your dreams :)

  7. Damn Sinn,

    You are keeping it real today! I love this post so much I want to have sex with it!

    To Matt:
    Prep is right bro, you totally read that blog all wrong...
    Someone once said that, "Children are like concrete, whatever you lay on them leaves an impression."

    Music is quite possibly the most powerful form of self expression. And when that identity, when that expression is confined to "My hump My hump..." then we have a problem on our hands. Why? Because too many people care about what stupid people think. I don't give 2 shits about Brittney and K-Fed... I do however care that she has publicly stated that she thinks she should be viewed as role model for little girls in America.

    Sinn is absolutely right when he says we have a generation of children being raised by a generation of immature adults... Fortunately I have never had this problem and have shared this view with Sinn my entire life. Why? My dad was born in 1836... they honestly don't make people like him anymore. That doesn't make him boring. It means that when you are wrong and he is right, he will do everything it takes to stand up to you, and make you see where you are misguided... even if it means kickin your ass! I am grateful that my dad didn't raise me to be an idiot. Too many Americans are cattle... they are unable to think outside the box. That is why Sinn felt the need to write this stellar blog. Great post bro.


  8. I am fed up with society today as well. The single largest problem I recognize is a failure to accept responsibility for one's own actions. I think this mentality equates to the immaturity you speak of.

    "It's not my fault my kids are terrors, it's the video games."

    "It's not my fault I hit her, I'm bi-polar."

    "It's not my fault I'm poor, it's the rich people's fault."

    etc, etc...

    People need to stand up and realize that bitching about faults accomplishes nothing. They need to take responsibility and make things happen.

  9. Anonymous7:09 AM

    "at least I had Michael Jordan."
    Thats very funny.

  10. Sinn,

    This is off topic but I would really like to see you post some advice for lonely guys leading up to V-Day. I am trying to help my guy friends get dates or at least have fun. And I am looking to refer them to online info. It's the last weekend before V-Day and it seems like a great time to go out and meet women. Any advice? Blog it.


  11. Sting7:44 AM

    your in a judgemental mood today, huh?

    i watched an interview of Kylie Minogue, where she was talking about the old chestnut, "sex sells". she went on a bit of a "i'm so sexy" spurt as well - and to her, it was just a way of appealing to people who'd buy her stuff if she did it. giving the people what they want. Fergie probably does the same. you've dated so many strippers - doesn't their "i'm sexy" show front make you laugh after you've seen them as real, normal people?
    its a vicious cycle - leaders giving the people something (in this case immaturity) because they respond to it and people responding to it well so leaders give more... and on and on.

    A mature man sees all this and just smiles it off - its just the way the world goes around
    in the seduction community of the people i've seen or heard of, Hypnotica, Savoy and Zan are three guys who strike me as being of this type. Rick H, too.


  12. This post, and the comments, inspired me to write. I began to write a lot on this subject, and determined that this isn't the appropriate forum to write an essay on values. I just want to leave you guys with this:

    "Only the morally weak feel compelled to defend or explain themselves to others. We can't control the impressions others form about us and the effort to do so only debases our character." - Epictetus

  13. Anonymous11:39 PM

    I think you hit the nail here Sinn... Too often I hear my 8-year-old sisters singing a Spanish song called "Night of Sex", and I think this is all bullsh*t. My niece also idolizes fergie, and though i haven't seen her for almost a year, i'm pretty sure she's singing "My humps" behind her parents' backs..

  14. Sting2:13 AM

    Reward and Punishment, my friends.

    Fergie does this and gets rewarded with fame, fotune and attention - so she does more of it.
    if as a society we don't like it, then maybe we should keep our eyes in their sockets and the fluids in our mouth where they belong, when we see Fergie.

    "don't hate the player, hate the game."

  15. Anonymous2:43 AM

    Very good post. It would be cool to see more of this kind on the blog!


  16. Sinn,

    This was a good post. I think that there are SEVERAL issues concerning what aspects of society the media chooses to focus its attention on. The kinds of news stories we hear about are shaping our nations youth to believe a distorted and often times negative perspective on reality.

    But perception is reality, right?

    I also wanted to mention how you talked about what it meant to "be a man." It seems like you have a good idea of what you believe to be a good image of a man, but I mean what really defines it? And who really has the authority to say what is characteristic of a man and what isn't?

    You're right - fraternities & the military among others carry on the tradition of initiation to manhood, but both have different perspectives on what it means to be a man. You say that the boy must die for the man to live, but I think that it needs to be distinguished that certain child-like characteristics be least IMO. Becoming a man doesn't necessarily mean listening to one person's perspective on what it is to be one...but i think rather becoming what you are intended to become in life. It is a very individual approach. But bro, based on the last few posts it seems like you've got a kind of negative mindset about the world and seems like it is calling you to be proactive about it. Best of luck on your path man,


  17. Anonymous10:49 AM

    You are confused by my point, nevermund.


  18. Anonymous11:03 AM

    I don't like you when I first read your first few blogs.

    My mom isn't mature to teach me anything about life.

    Clarity is about knowing what you want and how you do it. That's my opinion.

  19. Anonymous11:05 AM

    You are certainly right that a certain level of maturity is lacking in today's young adults. In my last job, working with college students, I found that half were not able to even WRITE A CHECK correctly. I think the problem develops largely from poor parenting... parents who try to hard to be friends with their kids instead of parents to their kids.

  20. Oi vey. Take the advice of a guy with GAD and don't come down too hard on yourself. That pendulum swings both ways.

    Be a man, yeah. Take responsibility, yeah. But don't forget the stuff that you want ... what the kid in you wants. That's what I'm working through.

    I think what you're saying is, instead of being the spoiled child that wants everything, be the good parent of that kid.

    In other words, treat yourself right. Right?

  21. these kids are missing the bigger picture.

    they ALWAYS miss the bigger picture. that's why they see things in terms of micromanagement..

    you can micromanage yourself to death. and that's what the PUA's have done. they are qualifying on a GRAND SCALE without even realizing it. they are micromanaging themselves without understanding the inherent flaw with such supplicating behavior.

    PUA's are so concerned with adapting to the fish's ability that they forget who they are in the first place-- they are fishermen. not the flies at the end of a lure.

  22. Levee4:02 PM

    Read the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Now there was a real man.

  23. Anonymous11:16 PM

    Good news Sinn! in the new Quentin Tarantino movie, Grindhouse, I hear Fergie gets dismembered by zombies haha. I am going to see it tomorrow so I'll report back on how awesome it was.