Semi-Advanced Post: Attraction is highest the first time

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Get STD Tested!

 I just got back from passing my HIV test with flying colors and I have to say as harrowing of an experience as that is, you NEED to do it and not just for HIV.

Begin Public Service Announcement.

We big up promiscuity a lot in this blog and that's cool but the best kind of sex is safe sex. I always use condoms and get tested at least once a year. That's pretty much all you have to do and trust me if I can do it ( I literally had a panic attack at the Dr today convinced I was going to be told I'm dying) then so can you.

Most STDs are not that big of a deal for men and can be cured with a few pills, obviously HIV is a life ruiner but if you use condoms and don't have sex with women who exchange needles with others you're probably not going to get it. Though that won't stop me from freaking out about it again next year, gotta love hypochondria :)

The year's coming to a close and I know you'll feel better with the peace of mind of getting a clean blood test back, in most cities you can even get a free test that will have you out the door with results within 20 minutes.

That's my good deed for the year back to getting laid content on Fri

JS

"Fools Mate" The Most Low Self Esteem Idea EVER

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Escalating On High Points

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The Charisma Myth Notes and Exercises

 I finished this book a couple of weeks ago and I've been waiting for a chance to go through the notes and stuff I made on the kindle about this book since it's pretty relevant to what people come to this blog to read about, I figured I would post my notes here.

Quotes

Deciding to change your belief about what happened (cognitive reappraisal) effectively decreases the brain's stress levels. This came to light through research performed at Stanford University using functional MRI machines. The researchers concluded that deciding to change beliefs was a far more effective and healthier solution than attempting to repress or ignore emotions.

The key questions are: Which mental state would be most useful in this situation? And which version of reality would help you get there? For charisma, you can use this technique whenever a situation threatens your level of warmth or confidence. For minor events, simply imagining an alternative explanation is often enough to reduce anger or impatience and generate compassion instead.

The Internal Charisma Checklist:

1. Take a deep breath and shake out your body to ensure that no physical discomfort is adding to your tense mental state.
2. Dedramatize. Remind yourself that nothing serious is happening. This only feels uncomfortable because of how you're brain is wired. Zoom out your focus to see yourself as a little person dealing with certain chemicals flooding your system. Nothing more.
3. Destigmatize. Remind yourself that this is normal and everyone goes through it from time to time. Imagine countless people all over the world feeling the same thing.
4. Neutralize. Remind  yourself that these thoughts are not necessarily real.
5. Consider a few alternative realities that are not as negative.
6. Visualize a transfer of responsibility. Imagine the weight of this problem being transferred to the universe god etc...

Self Compassion as a 3 step process:
1. Realize you're experiencing difficulty
2. Respond with kindness and understanding towards ourselves.
3. Realizing that whatever we are going through is commonly experienced by all human beings.

Concepts:

The core of charisma is involves behaviors that project: Presence, Power and Warmth.
Charisma begins with an internal state

Exercises:

Destigmatizing Discomfort:
1. Remind yourself this is normal and that we all experience it from time to time.
2. Think of all the other people who have gone through this especially people you admire.
3. Remember that right now in this very moment many others are going through the same thing.

Neutralizing Negativity:
1. Remember these thoughts may not be accurate.
2. See your thoughts as tiny little electrical impulses in your brain or as graffiti on the walls of your mind.
3. Depersonalize the experience.
4. Imagine the earth from a far and imagine zooming in on your tiny little problem.
5. Imagine your mental chatter as coming from a radio and turn the volume way down.

There's also a good visualization at www.Charismamyth.com/metta

Overall I'd give this book 3 out of 5 stars it was an interesting new take on some of the same old information in the persuasion world.

JS 

Call her little

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Humble Bragging and DHVs

 Hey there,

 I got real sick last week and spent the entire week in bed hacking my lungs up.

 It was not tight.

 I did get to do some reading though which was nice.

One of the books I read was the Humble Brag book by Harris Wittels and one of the things I couldn't help but notice was how much humble bragging seems like what used to be taught as demonstrations of higher value.

A humble brag is a brag where the person conceals the outright brag by adding something that is supposedly humble to either the beginning or the end of the brag.

For example:

"Just recorded my Radio Spot for XM. I lead a weird weird life"

 " I am wearing hands down the most ugly shirt ever made and 4 co-workers have told me it's beautiful. I work with fucking liars and idiots."

The idea of a humble brag much like a DHV is that you brag about something that makes you cool (Being on the radio or having 4 ppl tell you your shirt is beautiful) then you pretend to be annoyed, put off or angry about the thing you just bragged about. Usually in humble brags this takes the form of saying something is weird or acting like what you just bragged about isn't a big deal even though it clearly is because you went on twitter to post about it.

So how does this help you with girls?

Well humble bragging/DHVing (I'm just gonna call it Humble Bragging from here on cuz fuck acronyms) can be an effective way to get attractive pieces of information out about yourself. It's often been said that you shouldn't brag or boast about yourself but IME people are not smart enough to get subtle displays of value and humble bragging works much better than hoping that someone will be able to infer things. So while HBing can alienate some people like myself an the writer of the book it's still remains an effective way to communicate the cool things about yourself without just outrightly telling the girl you're a genius millionaire like myself :)

JS- The King Of Content



 

Interesting Social Proof Experiment

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27 Ways To Convey You're Good In Bed

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Sexual Momentum and Screening

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Thinking Fast And Slow Highlights

 One of the best books I've read this year is "Thinking Fast and Slow" By Daniel Kahneman the Nobel Prize winning behavioral economist.

The book breaks down the difference between cognition and heuristics to explain why we think the way we do about things.

In essence he argues that there are two systems of thinking:

System 1 is instant and not bound by the rules of logic EX: Driving a car or reciting your #
System 2 is deeper thinking with well supported thought out ideas and arguments. EX: arguing about politics or explaining how to bake a cake.

Here's some quotes and ideas that interested me:

System 1 provides impressions that often turn into your beliefs and is the source of the impulses that often become your choices and actions. It offers a tacit interpretation off what happens to you and around you, linking the present with the recent past and with expectations about the near future. It contains the model of the world that instantly evaluates events as surprising or normal. It is the source of rapid and often precise intuition and it does most of this without your conscious awareness of it's activities.

The sequence of characteristics we observe in a person are often determined by chance. Sequence matters however because the halo effect increases the weight of first impressions sometimes to the point that subsequent information is mostly wasted.

WYSIATI- What you see is all there is. One of the ways System 1 distorts reality to make us feel correct.

Overconfidence: as the WYSIATI rule implies neither the quantity nor the quality of evidence counts much for subjective confidence. The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of story they can tell themselves about what they see, even if they see a little. We often fail to allow for the possibility that evidence that should be critical to our judgement is missing- what we see is all there is.

An example of basic assessment is the ability to distinguish friend from foe. This contributes to our chances of survival in the wild.  Alex Todarov of Princeton has explored the biological roots of rapid judgement of how safe it is to interact with a stranger. He showed that we are hardwired to look for two facts about that person: How dominant they are and how trustworthy they are.

Substituting questions. If a satisfactory answer is not found quickly system 1 will find a related question that is easier and answer that instead. The target question is the assessment you intended to produce. The heuristic question is a simpler question you answered instead.

Anchoring Effects- This happens when you are given a # or idea to prime you before being asked a question. For example if you are asked if Gandhi was more than 114 years old when he died you will guess a higher age than if you are asked if he were older than 35. The same thing happens with asking prices of homes etc...

Availability- This refers to how people's impressions are altered by a requirement to list a specific number of instances. In the experiment they asked people to list 6-12 instances in which they behaved assertively and then evaluate how assertive they were. People who had just listed 12 instances rated themselves as less assertive than those who had listed 6. Furthermore participants that had ben asked to think of 12 examples of times they had not behaved assertively ended up thinking of themselves as very assertive. If you cannot easily come up with 12 examples of meek behavior you are likely to conclude you are not meek at all.

Subjective confidence in a judgement is not a reasoned evaluation of the probability that this judgement is correct. Confidence is a feeling which reflects the coherence of the information and the cognitive ease of processing. It is wise to take admissions of uncertainty seriously but declarations of high confidence mainly tell you that an individual has constructed a coherent story in his mind, not that the story is true.

We are confident when the story we tell ourselves comes easily to mind with no contradiction and no competing scenario.

Low probability events are much more heavily weighted when they are described in terms of relative frequency 1 in 100,000 children will die than in percentages 0.0001

Attention is key. Our emotional state is largely determined by what we attend to, our current activity and environment

Affective forecasting- knowing the odds but believing they don't apply to you. Like couples who know most marriages end in divorce on their wedding day but do it anyway believing they are different.

Miswanting- bad choices that arise from errors of affective forecasting. Most prominent when people are asked how happy they would be after a tragedy followed by comparing that with happiness ratings of people who have had misfortunes.

There's a bunch of really interesting stuff in the book and I highly recommend you pick it up if you want to understand why we all make the choices we make.

JS

Reminder: Go To Filtered Venues!

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Project Hollywood House 2, PUAS 0

 So word around the campfire is that the Speer and Vince Kelvin led version of the Project Hollywood house (yes the same house as 2005) has broken up badly as Pick Up Partnerships tend to do. I talked to Speer briefly and a couple of other dudes who have a little bit of knowledge about the situation. I'll post more details if/when they become available.

Also Vince is apparently in the hospital now for either a heart attack or panic attacks. No one I've talked to seems to know exactly what, but hopefully he gets better. I bust on the guy cause he's ridiculous, but I don't wish bad health or serious harm on anyone.

Which brings me to the title of this post, that house on Londonderry is undefeated against the PUAS. They come in, and none of them lasts more than a year. Which is understandable at 12K a month in rent...

I bet when the owners see a group of guys come in to look at that place their eyes just turn into little $$ like in the cartoons.
 The question now is will another group of PUAS try their hand at the house that eats PUAS for dinner?

JS

Guest Article: Taking The First Step

Taking that first step is often the most difficult part of embarking on change. Often, if we could only take that first step , write that first sentence in your novel, do that first push up, say hello to that beautiful girl ‚ then the rest of our endeavor becomes easy and flows like honey.

Sometimes we all need a little motivation to kick start whatever we are trying to accomplish. There is no shame in that. The men who are the most successful with women know that they are willing to do whatever it takes to improve themselves and improve their game.

Here are a few tried-and-true tips that deal with getting motivated to take action to get better with women.

Tip #1

1. Pump it up. A really savvy strategy that can get you pumped up to make that first phone call or hit that club with confidence is to do a little groundwork before you even leave the house. Find some music that really gets you pumped up and crank it as loud as you can. (If you live in an apartment, you might stick to headphones!)

The music might even motivate you to start dancing around the house, which will make you feel even better. This strategy is successful for a few different reasons: Listening to music that makes you happy automatically improves your mood and therefore your self-confidence level. When we are happy, our self-esteem usually tends to be at its highest. In addition, listening to our favorite music releases endorphins that give us a boost of energy and feel-good hormones preparing us to meet challenges head on.

Tip #2

2. Become friends with other like-minded men. You can do this online through pick up forums or you can do this by finding other men who live in your area. You will not only learn from encouraging them to get out there, but they will be the ones who can motivate you and stroke your ego when you are feeling insecure or unsure about your dating skills and abilities with women.

Having another guy to run scenarios by is a great strategy to motivate you to tackle the dating world. In addition, you can act as each other's wingman and get out there supporting and helping each other improve your game with women.

There is power in numbers and getting someone else's take on a situation or even an outfit to wear to the club can be invaluable when it comes to getting better with women. A good guy friend will be honest, but not a jerk about giving his opinion and advice and in return you do the same for him. Often we learn the most by helping others and critiquing their efforts will usually improve our own game.

Tip #3

3. Read everything you can get your hands on about how to be successful in approaching and attracting women.

What happens when you start reading books about self-improvement and techniques that work, you automatically, almost subconsciously start itching to get out there and try it for yourself.

And the beauty of this motivation method is that while you are motivating yourself, you are also arming yourself with knowledge that will make you successful with women. Even if you are not aware of it consciously, your words, actions, and behaviors will be influenced by what you read.

Deep down, you already know what works and what doesn't and it will naturally incorporate itself into your game. As a result, with very little effort, you will not only be motivated, but you will be taking action to get better with women naturally.

Bill Preston

Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends (Video)

 By far the most frequently commented on post I've ever written is my post about not trusting girls with all guy friends.

 Read it here: Never Trust Girls With All Male Friends

Here's a great video that captures my point even more succinctly.



Comment Below

JS

The Greatest Pickup Video Of All Time

This might be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life...

Couple of extras about Smash 99 the legend.

He's Asian despite speaking with what one can only call a "Blackcent"

He has 100s of these videos some of which include his actual approaches which are as hilarious as one would assume from this video.

He's 100 percent serious.

If you find more vids like this post them in the comments this guy deserves the attention.

JS

48 Laws Of Power: Laws 11-21

1.    Learn To keep People Dependent on You:Figure out how to make people dependent on me. Independence is not power. You will always need others as allies, pawns, or even weak masters to serve as your front.

2.    Use Selective Honesty and Generosity To Disarm Your Victim:  Use Generosity before asking for things. Selective honesty is best used on the first encounter.

3.     When Asking For Help appeal to people’s self interest:  Always ask yourself what the other person wants. When people ooze greed do not appeal to their charity when they ooze charity do not appeal to their greed.

4.     Pose as a friend work as a spy: 

5.    Crush Your Enemy Totally:  Go further when opportunities to crush enemies arise.

6.    Use Absence To Increase Honor And Respect:  Remove myself strategically from spheres of influence.

7.    Keep Others In Suspended Terror; Cultivate an Air Of Unpredictability: Be More unpredictable, break your own patterns.

8.     Isolation is dangerous: Become a man of the people.

9.    Know who you’re dealing with and do not offend the wrong person: Avoid offending anyone.

10.Do Not Commit To Anyone:  Always Turn Down First Offers. Do not inadvertently feel obligated to anyone.  

11.Play A Sucker To Catch A Sucker:  Stop Trying to prove I’m smart. Only use intelligence to conceal deception.

Notes On The 48 Laws Of Power Law 1-

Hey,

I went through a real obsession with the 48 laws of power for a little bit, and I just found some old notes I had on them.

 You guys may find this stuff interesting if even in a head nodding, non applicable way.

1.    Never Outshine The Master: Rating: 7 To work on: Never Take Your Position For Granted.

2.    Never Put Too Much Trust In Friend, Learn To Use Enemies: Rating: 4: To Work on: Never give friends too much lest they come to believe they deserve that all the time. Never expect gratitude from a friend and be pleasantly surprised when you get it.

3.    Conceal Your Intentions: Rating: 3: Work On: Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. Purposely lead them down the wrong path. Let your greatest cunning lie in covering up your cunning. If you yearn for power lay honesty aside. Dangle fake goals in front of people and they will take that for reality. Appear to send mixed signals or instead appear to support a cause that is contrary to your own beliefs. Seem to want things you don’t want to gain power. Hide your intentions by talking openly about your desires and goals, just not your real ones. Also use false sincerity. Espouse a belief in honesty and forthrightness as publicly as possible. Use the smoke screen of the ordinary and familiar. Be as bland and inconspicuous as possible.  The noble gesture is one of the best smoke screens available as people want to believe those who make noble gestures are for real. Another effective smoke screen is the pattern. Acting one way consistently before suddenly mixing it up. Another psychological weakness to exploit is the tendency of human beings to mistake appearance for reality or take things on looks value.

4.    Always Say Less Than Necessary: Rating: 0: Work On: Talk less, squeeze more out of your words.

5.    So Much Depends On Reputation-Guard It With Your Life: Rating: 1: To work on: Figure out where to establish a reputation.  Doubt is a powerful weapon guard yourself against it while using it as a deadly weapon against your enemies. Make your reputation sterling and base it on one single quality. What one quality do I want a reputation for?

6.    Court Attention At All Costs: Rating: 7: To Work On: Commanding and being ready for attention at all times. In the beginning spend all your time courting attention regardless of the quality. Part II: Create an Air of Mystery: In a world growing increasingly banal and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention.Never make too clear what you are doing or about to do. Do not show all your cards. An Air of mystery heightens your prescence; it also creates anticipation-everyone will be watching you to see what happens next use mystery to beguile, seduce and frighten. If you find yourself trapped, do something that cannot be explained. Choose a simple action that lends itself to multiple interpretations.

7.    Get Others To Do The Work For You But Always Take The Credit: Rating: 1: To Work On: Getting others to do stuff for me.

8.    Make Others Come To You: Rating: 2: To Work On: You must learn to master your emotions, and never be influenced by anger; meanwhile you must play on people’s natural tendency to react angrily when pushed and baited.

9.    Win Through Your Actions Never Through Argument: Rating: 3: To Work On: Stop arguing, think always of action. Learn to demonstrate the correctness of your ideas indirectly.

10.Infection: Avoid The Unhappy and Unlucky: Rating: 7: To Work On: Avoid all unhappy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, poor. 

JS

Brainstorming on Slutty Girls

 Hey there,

 I've been brainstorming up some ideas on recognizing and quickly escalating with them to make super quick lays more predictable and easier to reproduce. Some of these ideas come from a post on the internet on identifying slutty girls I couldn't figure out the original author and some come from my buddy Cam's post as well.

 The first thing to understand is that slutty girls are different from girls who get attracted easily. You need to find girls that are both attracted to you and slutty. This explains why girls will cheat on their BFs with PUAs because they found a girl who was slutty who happened to have a boyfriend.

What is a slutty girl? A slutty girl to me is a girl who (god bless her) jumps into bed with a guy quickly on a regular basis.

Slutty girls are everywhere it's a matter of being able to better recognize them.

There is a slutty girl way of dressing which is different from an attention whore way of dressing. The ultimate slutty girl piece of clothing is yoga pants at the mall.

Here are some personality traits and physical things to look for:

Plays along with sexual jokes or teases early.

Drinks a lot and makes a point of being able to "hang" or party with anyone.

Doesn't wear underwear and makes a point of letting that be known. This is where you can make jokes about her throwing her panties at you or getting her panties in a twist to bait for this.

Has traveled a lot.

Has indicators of high testosterone like greater than usual arm hair, broad eye brow ridges, broad shoulders, narrow waist.

Makes submissive (breaking downward) eye contact

Smokes cigarettes

Has mostly male "friends"

Is overly emotional or dramatic

Attempts to be tough or fight

Uses overly emotional but fake communication. Screams I love you early and quickly.

Says she dates like a guy or is over dating.

Says "I'm trying to be good" or mentions her trying to reform her life.

Identifies or calls herself a bitch.

Feel free to add more in the comments.

JS

Age Grouping and attraction

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Mirroring Body Language In Rapport

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Date Trick/Tip: The Side Switch

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What Women Mean When They Talk

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Mailbag!

Hola Puas,

I’ve been getting some great questions recently from you guys, so I highly encourage all of you to keep them coming in. For those that don’t know, you can send any question you have to me at Sinnstravel at gmail.com and if it’s interesting, it’ll make the next edition of the mailbag. You get extra points for originality 

Let’s take our first caller…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi man,

I have a question:

I've been practicing the game for a while and can feel a lot of improvement.

I have routines, know the techniques, approaching girls at bars and even had a

few same night lays.

One thing that I haven't been able to overcome is going out alone. I

understand that this is an important thing to do as part of becoming a PUA.

Also, it would enable me to go out more since my friends are not into the game

as much as I am and sometimes prefer to stay home. But when I'm alone at a

bar, my self confidences is low and it's much harder for me to approach girls

How do I overcome this?

Yaron

 Great question Yaron,

I personally really like going out alone. It’s less hassle getting everything organized, you don’t have to wait for your friends to get there, you don’t have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it’s a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don’t approach you’re just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun. 

 When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened.  Because people really don’t care.  The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you’re less cool for being out alone.

 Ok so now that you know what the problem is,  let’s look at some things you can do tonight to fix it.

1.     Getting in the batter’s box. This is something my buddy Fastlife once said to me that has always stuck.  He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you’re sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you’re debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you’re clean, shaved, dressed etc.. You’ll feel like you have to go out.

2.     Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you’re out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren’t any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you’re in, the easier it will be to approach.

3.     Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn’t have to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don’t let yourself go home until you complete them.

4.     Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you’re going to be when you are in between approaches.  You don’t want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you’re not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren’t any girls you’re interested in approaching.

 Going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

Next question.

 Question on smooth Kino Escalation.

Hopefully you can shed some light on this subject. I understand that calibration plays a huge role in this. What i've found is that I am personally way too into my head. Like I feel like i'm invading the girl's space if I simply give her a hug or it just doesn't feel natural. I am definitely not a natural touchy feely guy and grew up almost never touching girls. Not even simple high fives or hugs or whatever. I watched one of my friends at work today and he just naturally threw up a high five rewarding her for something he thought was cool. Like when I see my friends grab or play with the girls I can totally see their BT go through the roof.

I feel like theres this space between me and the girl, and i'm just chatting. I've been complimented on my voice and smoothness plenty of times but im missing that half where I see the more alpha guys taking control physically.

So I started learning a little bit of palm reading and using the penny, nickel dime routine as an excuse to hold the hand. but that just makes me not the fun/playful guy but the serious guy yet again.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice

-Mark

 Ok Mark,

 First can we all agree to stop calling it kino and simply call it touching? Deal?

 Let’s figure out what the real issue is here. It’s that you’re not comfortable touching girls. That’s fine I was not a naturally touchy guy either. In fact it got so bad that one time on a bootcamp in Toronto Savoy came up to me to ask me if I knew if there was a casino around where he could play some keno because the students hadn’t seen any keno all night.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1.    Playful touching- This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc.. This is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.

2.    Hand touching- This is stuff like high fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, so on and so forth.

3.    Arm in arm- This will happen as you’re qualifying girls. She says something you like you take her hand, place it on your arm and say “That’s all you get.” You can also do this when you’re moving a girl by asking her if she’s the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.

4.    Arm around. This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like and you pull her in by her waist. There’s an easy way to tell if she’s attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.

5.    Hand holding. The best way to hand hold, is to suggest moving and then hold your hand back for her to grab.

6.    Kissing- There’s a variety of ways to kiss, but my favorite is what’s called the almost kiss. This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say

 “ I’m sorry, I’m having a really hard time talking to you, because I keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we’re not ready for that yet. So we’re going to do an almost kiss. We’re going to get really close, but you’re not allowed to kiss me and I’m not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me it will ruin all trust in our relationship.”

 Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

 That’s a good start for ya Mark. The key with touching is that you have to act like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Next Caller.

Hi, Sinn

I would like an opinion from You. A guy approaches a Women in person and the Women shows the guy indicators of interest by making eye contact, smiling, laughing with him during the entire lengthly conversation. He then ask her 5 mins laters before he leaves "If she would like to see him again?" and she says yes. The guy then gives her his cell phone and she puts in her name and number. On the 3rd day the guy calls this Women and on the 5th ring he gets her voice mail. He leaves a message with his name & number and other things but doesn't get a call back. 8 days go by and he calls her again but gets her voicemail and leaves another new message. This time he doesn't say his name or number because he left it on his first voicemail. The guy figures that she would recognize his voice and knew it was him from the first time.

Should the guy wait 9 more days to pass before he calls again to leave another voice message? Why would a Women give a guy her real cell phone number but not answer her phone or return his calls? When should this guy give up on calling her? How many voicemails should this guy leave for her before he hears from her again? The guy understands how some Women just like the attention or dont want to seem too easy.

Sterling

Ok we’ll call this portion of the mailbag “ She’s just not that into you”.

Newsflash guys, women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, or in this case the phone it’s stored in.  Sometimes women will eve give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn’t the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what she wants to avoid you.

The major mistake you made here, was not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to see each other again sometime, is a stairway to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you’re going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place you will see if she’s actually interested or if she’s just being polite. This way she can say “I’m sorry I’m busy that night.” And if she doesn’t suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

 Now you made a few other mistakes as well. First you waited too long to call her. On a cold approach you want to call the very next day. The reason being that she doesn’t have a whole lot invested in you unlike a guy in her social circle, who she’ll have to see again. Then you waited an ungodly amount of time to follow up when she didn’t call you back. 8 days is ridiculous. You want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline right?

Oh wait, no you don’t otherwise you wouldn’t be so obviously hurt by this girl not returning your calls.

Sorry for the harsh love but this is the real world and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back. The solution is to go out and meet more women.

 That’s gonna wrap it up like a guy who picks up chicks at the free clinic.

 Till next time,

 S

Needy Vs interested a balancing act

 Ever since the Kristen ordeal (Now almost 2 years ago) I have been very focused on making sure girls don't get attached and thus I have taken a lot of things out of my game that are very effective like telling girls I like them, complimenting, and general emotional connection stuff.

 This was not a good idea, and my results have suffered a bit, notably in the ability to keep girls around for longer than a few weeks.

I realized this last week and have been making the changes necessary to fix it.

But this is a good topic of discussion on here because a lot of guys don't know how to walk the fine line between being needy and being interested.

In general you are probably better off demonstrating more interest as long as you can avoid being needy.

What's the difference?

Interest requires a reason. When you are being needy you are interested in the girl so that you are not alone. When you are interested in a girl for specific (well defined) reasons your risk of being seen as needy becomes much lower.

Also keep in mind some basic rule like not texting or calling more than once a day without a response etc...

Hope that helps.

JS

10 Rules For Texting

This article is now available on my new site.

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What The Dirty Dad Did Wrong- Realhousewives Of NYC

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Making Phone # soup

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Attention And Commitment to The Conversation > Opening

 Lately I have realized more and more that guys focus on the WRONG things when it comes to starting conversations with women.

Namely they focus on what they are going to say rather than getting a woman's complete attention.

"Opening" as it was defined is about starting a conversation but it doesn't really do you any good to start a conversation with a woman who is only half paying attention to you.

This is especially true during the day time as often women are not sure you're talking to them unless you make it explicitly clear by asking for her full attention.

One of the reasons guys are soooo into direct game is because of the side effect to a direct approach that you engage a woman's full attention. There's nothing inherently special about direct but it does force you to fully commit to getting a woman's attention and as such some guys feel they do way better because of it.

Correlation not causation at it's finest.

So you know you need to get a woman's attention, but every guy reading this has had the experience of getting a woman's attention saying one or two things and then having the girl turn back to her friends, her cellphone or her shopping.

The reason for this is because attention is only one half of successfully getting a conversation started. The other half is getting the woman committed to the conversation. You have to get her to actually engage in the conversation quickly or you're just going to get good at opening.

Sometimes this happens easily and women are quick to joke or play back. Other times you have to actually ask the woman to commit a few minutes to talking either through an isolation attempt in a group or simply asking her if she has 5 mins to talk at the bookstore.

Your opener doesn't matter half as much as these two things and the sooner you stop focusin on what you're going to say and start focusing on how you're going to get her attention and commitment the better your game will become.

JS- The King Of Content

Dating For Minority Men Part 2:

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Guest Article: Pick-up For Minority Men

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Not Accepting Rudeness

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Seduce Her Secrets: Guest Blog By Carlos Xuma

How To Seduce Her Secrets...

Women have a lot of secrets. Her life is like her purse - stuffed full of secrets, and getting bigger every year.

The problem is that when you meet a woman, you don't know what any of them are. And after you know her for a little while, she eventually lets a few slip. But don't you wish you could have found them out earlier?

Like the time she blew that guy out on the dance floor...

Or that time she was married for a weekend when she was in Vegas...

Or that football team gang-bang she had...?
(Hmmm... hopefully not)

It would save you a whole bunch of frustration if you could just find a way to get her to reveal some of these deep dark secrets at the get-go. Right at the very start.

Not to mention that if you get a woman to reveal dark secrets about herself, you make it easier to take her home and sleep with her.

Well, what I'm going to do today is teach you a technique that I found to get women to tell their deepest, darkest, most F'd-up secrets right away. Just remember, though: If you go down this path, you're going to learn more about the nasty side of women than you may want to know...

Don't say I didn't warn you!

The good side effect of this technique is that it will also show you how to seduce a woman, because once a woman has opened up and revealed herself to you, she's yours for the taking.

So now I'm going to show you how to seduce a woman into telling you her secrets...

Technique 1: Get her to tell you a childhood secret.

This is where it all begins. By getting her to invest a little with you by telling you this, she's going to start opening up more to you.

Start small. I usually ask her: "So I bet you were a real 'nice girl' when you were growing up. I bet you never got into trouble."

Then she's going to smile and laugh, and say something like, "Yeah, right!"

Then you challenge her again, and tell her: "Oh, really? What, like you made a prank phone call? I don't know... Tell me what you did that was so 'bad.'"

That will push her into revealing something about herself to you.


Technique 2: Get her to tell you about her wildest night out with her girlfriends - and something wild that one of her FRIENDS did.

This one is the "gateway drug" for a woman that gets her to let down her guard and really open up.

You see, when a woman is out with her friends, she does things that she might not normally do. Not freaky in a sexual way, but just wild because her girlfriend's behavior gets her to act more like the group than herself. It's the mob mentality.

What you're doing is getting her to start thinking about those wild times, even if she doesn't tell you about all of them. In fact, she will probably hold back on 90% of the crazy shit she did on those wild nights.

But what's easier for her to reveal is something one of her friends did on one of those crazy nights. Hey, it's not HER, after all, and it's easier to talk about someone else's wild times.

The key to this step is - don't be judgmental! Don't make any comments that make it seem like you're judging her friend negatively, or against that kind of behavior. Tell her that's all cool, and you wish you'd been there to see it yourself.


Technique 3: Reveal a dark secret of your own.

This is really key.

A woman has a radar that tells her when she's "clicking" with someone. And one of the biggest parts of that is when she senses that she's getting as much from you as she's giving. This enables a sense of connection from her.

So what you have to do is to think ahead and plan out what you will give up as your sacrificial lamb - your dirty secret.

What I usually tell women about is the time I was playing with my cute cousin, when we were just getting to be around 5 or 6 years old. We were pretending we were a married couple and we would go off to work, and kiss each other goodbye. Hey, we didn't know any better, we were just kids. But it was kinda wrong, but still fun at the same time.

Now most women like that story because they've encountered some guy that they would like to have had but couldn't because of some taboo (typically he was married.)

I suggest the story be absolutely true, because B.S. won't work here. She'll figure it out in a heartbeat, and you'll actually hurt yourself in the trust area.

You have to have a lot of detail in your story, too. That will make it more convincing, and it will draw her in like bees to honey.


Technique 4: Get her to reveal her "dark little secret."

After you've told her your story, this is the perfect time to spring this on her.

You see, there's this little psychological principle called the "reciprocity" rule. It means that if you do something for someone, they feel compelled to do something for you to return the favor. To not do anything would leave an outstanding debt on them that they don't want. (This is also why most people refuse the most basic of favors from you - especially strangers. You can't do nice things for people because they'll feel indebted to you.)

But this works for you because now she will want to reveal something to you to "pay back" this debt of trust.

The key here is to make sure she's really giving you a good "dark secret" in exchange. Some women come up with some really lame stuff, like they shoplifted a pack of gum. If she does this, you can't accept it. You have to call her on it by saying, "Oh, now come on... I gave you something really good there, and that's the best you can come up with? You must be some kind of innocent girl that's never even kissed a guy before."

You tease her into going further and telling you more.


Now you see what we've done here?

We've moved her along the trust line from mild disclosure (small secrets) to the big mo-fos (DARK secrets.)

Oh, something really important here: If she does finally tell you something dark, you do NOT make fun of her. She went out on a limb by revealing this to you, so you need to make sure you don't violate her trust by making her feel like a fool for doing that. When she's done, buy her a drink to reward her. Then do what you did before for her friend and express nothing but approval.

Then take her home and bang her the rest of the night... Because now she'll want to act consistently with this new "bad girl" image you've helped her create.

It works. For the guys that use it...

Oh, and if you want more info on how to seduce women, you probably already know that the way into her bed is through knowing what to say to women.

I've got a great video on that for you here:
CLICK HERE for The Secrets Of How To Talk To Women (link to http://www.carlosxuma.com/how-to-talk-to-women/ )


Stay Alpha...

- Carlos Xuma

Continuing the car drama..

 So I didn't have a car for 2 weeks and then after getting my car back last Thursday it's back in the shop with the exact same problem...

So because of that updates have been... erratic.

But I should be updating more soon, after I get done throwing things against the wall and yelling :)

JS

It Gets Better (Approaching That Is)

 Yesterday I had a weird day of game.

  I was out and about doing some approaches and it was not going well...

 I was getting a ton of girls who just wouldn't engage or contribute beyond one word answers and one girl who even answered her phone while I was talking to her.

I even tried to slum a lil bit by hitting on a goth girl at whole foods which should have been an easy # close and I couldn't even make this work.

In all it was probably 4 horrible approaches in my first 4 attempts.

To top it all off I was really tired and didn't really want to be out and about talking to chicks.

But I kept going and my next approach went great with a really hot girl and then I got another # after that followed by two more.

One of the things this reminded me was that the first few approaches often suck both as an experience and in terms of results. I talk about warm up sets a lot but in my own personal life, I still expect to hit home runs in my first approach of the day. It'd be really cool if I was the kind of guy who could be always "on" (and sometimes I am) but for the most part my approaches(and most of you reading this) are going to get markedly better around the 4th, 5th and 6th approach. Because by that time you're warmed up, you've exposed yourself to some social feedback and hopefully you've made some adjustments to your body language, eye contact etc...

So when going out don't get discouraged if your first few approaches don't go anywhere, it happens. But it also doesn't mean that you won't be able to get better in approaches 4,5 and 6.

JS- The King Of Content

Having an Identity That Hooks

 Hey there,

 Today I want to talk about something I've been thinking about for awhile.

 In order to get better results with women, you're going to need a comprehensive identity that hooks a woman's attention and causes her to interact with you more based strictly on your identity.

Now this doesn't mean that you need to go back to 2005 and start telling women you are a "superstar daredevil illusionist." or pretending to be someone you're not. Instead you need to tailor your presentation towards keeping a woman's attention.

When women meet men, they are trying to stereotype that guy in order to figure out how interested they are in a guy. Furthermore you want to be someone who can be easily described to her friends, mom, etc in one word.

Women will often interact with men they are not attracted to or interested in because they have an identity that has hooked their attention. I came to this idea when I watched a C level reality star in a bar with a bunch of girls who kept saying they not only weren't attracted to him but thought he was kinda lame. Yet they kept talking to and interacting with the guy and eventually he left with one of those girls.

You want an identity that will keep the woman's attention without you having to do it with social skills which lowers your value and lowers the women's interest in you.

This probably sounds more complicated than it actually is.

Most guys don't actually think about the way they present themselves to women. They choose a model for picking up chicks, a few routines that are supposed to keep a woman's attention and think that should be enough. Worse still because different companies have different presentation styles (RSD is drunk fratboy game, Brent teaches rich guy game, Mystery teaches intrigue/faux celebrity game etc...) guys tend to mix and match different routines and ideas from guys with VERY different presentation styles which leads to guys coming off extremely incongruent and getting bad results with women.

So you want to think about your identity on the whole when it comes to meeting women.

To do this you need to ask yourself a few questions:

What kind of guy am I?

Now not every guy can be high value, or a frat boy type or a C list reality star. But every guy can have some identity that is attractive to women whether it's "psychic" guy (an early Mystery Identity) or  yoga teacher guy, or even music guy. Whatever it is you need to have a one word description of what kind of guy you are and how you're going to present that.

Then ask yourself

Is it congruent?

Just because you want to be that cool club guy, doesn't mean you can actually pull it off. You have to be realistic here or you WILL NEVER GET RESULTS.

Lastly ask yourself

How can I get this into the conversation quickly and make sure that the woman is hooked by my identity first before I try to actually get her attracted.


Once you're able to establish an identity that hooks a woman's attention, you'll find that your interactions go much smoother and easier and you get less flaking and distrust from women overall.

JS- The King Of Content