Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Passive acceptance of the frame.

Frame control is something that a lot of people talk about, but I noticed that a lot of people have missed out on some basic points of frame control outside of basic reframing.

So I wanted to write about an often untalked about aspect of frame control, and that is; acceptance of the frame. Frames are simply the underlying meaning of a given interaction. If a girl asks me if this is a pickup line, she has set the underlying meaning to be that I am trying to pick her up. If I respond to that in any way I am accepting the idea that I may be trying to pick her up.

It works the other way too. In fact I would say that one of the major un-spoken reasons that negs, cocky and funny, teasing girls, works is because they set the implied frame that YOU are cooler than the girl. So long as she does not argue, the frame has now been set and any interaction that occurs between you guys happens inside of that frame.

The same thing can happen if she laughs and giggles when you accuse her of hitting on you. Or if you start getting sexual and she does not resist.

You don't need her to be agreeing with any of the frames, you are setting, you just need her to not disagree.



  1. Anonymous10:19 PM

    There's also a difference between reframing (frame control) and frame setting.

    Frame setting is often a role that you play. It sets the behaviors and the overall tone.

    Reframing or frame control is when you actively change the meaning to something else.

    They are related but I think there is a difference.

  2. Anonymous12:27 AM

    Sinn, you are pick up genius. Please keep your thoughts coming. They are original and helpful. Thanks.