Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Are you a closer?

Are you a closer?


One of the biggest mental hurdles, I have ever had to deal with, was being willing to push and make things awkward. Looking back now, I don’t worry about it, but when I was starting out I had all sorts of bullshit in my head about how long it takes to sleep with a girl, how much work you have to put into it, how some girls weren’t “like that” etc…

Looking back now I see that it was all complete bullshit!!! The only difference in my results now vs my results then, was how far I was willing to push.

We’ve all had those “ Oh shit” moments where you realize the girl likes you, but you have no idea what to do next. You figure that if you sit there and build comfort for the next 4 hours, maybe you’ll be able to get a phone # and see her again or bounce with her and her friends, or steal her away to your PUA lair.

Bad, bad, bad. In order to get the results you want, you need to be a fucking closer. Like Mariano Rivera. That means leading and knowing where you are going. TMM is an amazing roadmap, as you know the steps to get a girl into a sexual relationship. But there is more to it than just the Emotional progression model. Which brings me to;

Mistake # 1. Not knowing what outcome you want from the interaction. Do you want a ONS, you better start seeding that bounce. Do you want to get a bunch of phone # s and follow up that week? You better start some merging some sets. What a TON of guys do wrong is they try to dogmatically adhere to the structure of TMM and they forget about what they want to do with the girl they are talking to.

Solution: Figure out what you are trying to do with this girl, before you approach her… Is your goal to get into deep comfort and do a date? Or is it to try to pull her into the bathroom. Both goals require different implementation and more importantly different levels of aggressiveness.

Mistake # 2 Not closing EVERY set you are in for some purpose. If the girl doesn’t respond sexually, or I seems like she might flake, # close her ANYWAY. Worst case scenario you can practice your phone game. Best case scenario it turns out you can’t read minds and you and she get together.

Solution: # close every set you are in, that doesn’t blow you out.

Mistake # 3 Trying to finesse sets. This was my MAJOR sticking point for most of my PUA career. I probably didn’t ask a girl for her # directly for like 2 years. Instead I would bait and if the girl didn’t take the bait, I would bait again. Most of the time this works, and it IS more solid if she offers her # rather than you asking. But some girls need to be asked, because they aren’t socially brave enough to be the agrressor. Or they don’t want you to think they are a slut.

Solution: Try to finesses things, but don’t be afraid to use force, or social pressure. Don’t underestimate the power of telling a girl what to do.

Mistake # 3 Not setting up dates before hand. If you seed the date or bounce, things will go A ot smoother. In my head there is a ticking clock to 25 minutes so I know when to get her # if it has happened organically already. It doesn’t mean I leave the set, but it means I get her contact info incase the bounce doesn’t work or we get separated. Don’t lose sets you don’t have to.

Solution: Make sure you get a phone # at the 25 minute mark.

Mistake # 4 Not escalating physically. All our routines are just bullshit baffles brains to disguise our escalating of touch. Make sure you touch early, touch often and keep escalating. Try to make out with every set you are in for more than 15 minutes. Women will actually respect you more, the more you aren’t afraid to touch them. It is much better to be the touchy guy than the cool guy who waits to touch her. Show her you are a leader and a closer.

Solution: Learn a touch progression and follow it every time. Don’t be afraid to pull the trigger.


Mistake # 5 Listening to objections. Myth busters time, there is no such thing as the perfect pick up. In every interaction, you will get some clunkiness where a irl will give you reasons she can’t come home with you or meet up etc… Don’t ever logically acknowledge these. Instead tease her, touch her, make out with her and lead.

Solution: Next time you get an objection ignore it and lead her to the conclusion you want. Change her mood, not her mind.

Avoiding these mistakes will get you well on your way to becoming a hardcore closer not just a PUA.

S

12 comments:

  1. See this is the shit that is actually important, and the type of things I wish more guru's would post.

    This is the kind of information that is going to save me countless hours that Sinn has wasted on my behalf, as he watched literally HUNDREDS of women he wanted to fuck pass him by.

    This is the kind of information I hope I can start posting soon, and yes I'm encouraging Sinn and others to post this information. Not for their community reputation, but because they know what a pain in the ass wasting all that time was, grinding, learning, fixing the mistakes.

    Bravo. Seriously.

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  2. why do u have to merge sets to get a ton of #'s?

    great info, ty for the post

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  3. Sinn, great post. more posts like this one PLEASE!

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  4. Sinn, this blog entry of yours is gold! I've noticed guys who push and in many ways, violating the socially acceptable norms/boundaries are guys who tend to close and eventually succeed. The unfortunate side-effect is that these same guys are also tend to apply the same techniques to extracting favors from everyone around them.

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  5. Fader8:23 PM

    Sinn has the sickest kino escalation I have ever seen in my life. Its just retarded how fast he gets in. For me it was a reality changing thing. Now I have seen it so much I am just OVER it lmfaoooooooo.

    See you in Miami this weekend big dog!

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  6. Anonymous9:20 PM

    This was awesome, its like what Brad P talks about and why people like him so much. He fucking tells it how it is and how to close the deal.

    You don't even need 'solid' game if u have this down, no one should be compromising sets and girls just to practice 'solid' game unless they have a good rotation/lifestyle of girls in their life. Which most guys dont at all.

    I think what alot of gurus fail to do is to just address what people WANT out of an interaction. Its mainly two different things:
    1. Fuck her/hook up with her
    2. Have her for a mLTR or longer term thing

    It's really one of two things, so just address specifically how to get #1 or #2. I definitely want #1 and #2 as an option ill decide afterwards with her.

    Keep it up man, more advice like this!

    -JimSmith

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  7. Xtreeme4:08 AM

    Hey man. So I bought this puzzle like one year ago. And While it starting to look somewhat like the picture in the cover it still is a little apart... I've been trying to fix it a bit while others have actually learned from the puzzle I've been building.

    However, there are like 5-8 missing pieces of the puzzle left and I just think you found me 3 or 4 pieces.

    Now I just need to put them in place. Wish me good luck!

    Ps. btw, baiting to get the number? Never heard of it actually (weird enough, huh?) any examples you'd care to share?

    Peace!

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  8. Anonymous6:20 AM

    This is exactly what I wanted to read just before I go out and hit up the bars and clubs!!

    Thanks Sinn

    -michael

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  9. ive studied tmm for almost a year now, which is kind of lying because i read the venusian arts and then started looking into everything the community had to offer. i've had a huge improvement considering where i started, but this post here- this is why i am staying true to my self promise of attending a mm boot camp before the end of the year. good god i'm anxious

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  10. Anonymous12:59 PM

    Jon,
    I don't think I ever truely thanked you for this blog or your contributions.
    You are a wise and intelligent man.
    I hope that you read this and that you can forgive me for being a pest.
    The next time I see you, I will talk to you.
    -Darren

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  11. Anonymous4:27 PM

    Sample touch progression,please?

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  12. Anonymous6:22 AM

    I love it when everyone finally comes around to Gunwitch Method. ;)

    It's about time guys!!

    ReplyDelete