Mailbag!

Hola Puas,

I’ve been getting some great questions recently from you guys, so I highly encourage all of you to keep them coming in. For those that don’t know, you can send any question you have to me at Sinnstravel at gmail.com and if it’s interesting, it’ll make the next edition of the mailbag. You get extra points for originality 

Let’s take our first caller…

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Hi man,

I have a question:

I've been practicing the game for a while and can feel a lot of improvement.

I have routines, know the techniques, approaching girls at bars and even had a

few same night lays.

One thing that I haven't been able to overcome is going out alone. I

understand that this is an important thing to do as part of becoming a PUA.

Also, it would enable me to go out more since my friends are not into the game

as much as I am and sometimes prefer to stay home. But when I'm alone at a

bar, my self confidences is low and it's much harder for me to approach girls

How do I overcome this?

Yaron

 Great question Yaron,

I personally really like going out alone. It’s less hassle getting everything organized, you don’t have to wait for your friends to get there, you don’t have the distraction of standing around talking to your buddies, and it’s a great feeling to leave your house alone and come back with a beautiful woman. It also makes approaching WAY easier because if you don’t approach you’re just standing around by yourself, which is not particularly fun. 

 When I first started going out alone, I always felt like EVERYONE in the bar knew I was there by myself and was judging me for it. So one night I decided to do an experiment. I went to a bar and stood in the middle of the bar by myself, not talking to anybody. I was fully expecting people to give me dirty looks or make comments, but nothing happened. Then the next night I went out alone again and this time did a bunch of approaches, I was sure every group was going to ask me where my friends were. And it never happened.  Because people really don’t care.  The biggest hurdle to going out alone is getting over the feeling that people will think you’re less cool for being out alone.

 Ok so now that you know what the problem is,  let’s look at some things you can do tonight to fix it.

1.     Getting in the batter’s box. This is something my buddy Fastlife once said to me that has always stuck.  He said the hardest part of going out alone is getting yourself going. I know how it is, you’re sitting around your house debating with yourself about whether to go out or stay in. You list all the reasons for and against going out, flip through your phone looking for girls you could call to come over, etc.. But what if instead of that, you simply started to get ready. While you’re debating with yourself, hop in the shower, or shave or pick out an outfit for that night. This will help get the ball rolling and then once you’re clean, shaved, dressed etc.. You’ll feel like you have to go out.

2.     Approach the first girl you see in the venue. Nothing kills your state when you’re out alone faster than standing around with a drink in your hand. So instead as soon as you walk into the venue, start talking to the first girl you see. If there aren’t any girls in the bar yet, then talk to the first guy you see. A lot of guys underestimate the power of being talkative. The more of a talkative mood you’re in, the easier it will be to approach.

3.     Set a certain number of approaches you HAVE to do. It doesn’t have to be overly ambitious, but make sure that you set a goal for the amount of approaches you have to do and don’t let yourself go home until you complete them.

4.     Establish a home base. This is one of the best and easiest things to do when you go out by yourself. A home base is where you’re going to be when you are in between approaches.  You don’t want to be standing by yourself, so you make friends with either a group of girls you’re not interested in gaming or a group of guys. Then you periodically check in with them throughout the night when you need a break or there aren’t any girls you’re interested in approaching.

 Going out alone is either normal or weird based on how YOU feel about it.

Next question.

 Question on smooth Kino Escalation.

Hopefully you can shed some light on this subject. I understand that calibration plays a huge role in this. What i've found is that I am personally way too into my head. Like I feel like i'm invading the girl's space if I simply give her a hug or it just doesn't feel natural. I am definitely not a natural touchy feely guy and grew up almost never touching girls. Not even simple high fives or hugs or whatever. I watched one of my friends at work today and he just naturally threw up a high five rewarding her for something he thought was cool. Like when I see my friends grab or play with the girls I can totally see their BT go through the roof.

I feel like theres this space between me and the girl, and i'm just chatting. I've been complimented on my voice and smoothness plenty of times but im missing that half where I see the more alpha guys taking control physically.

So I started learning a little bit of palm reading and using the penny, nickel dime routine as an excuse to hold the hand. but that just makes me not the fun/playful guy but the serious guy yet again.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice

-Mark

 Ok Mark,

 First can we all agree to stop calling it kino and simply call it touching? Deal?

 Let’s figure out what the real issue is here. It’s that you’re not comfortable touching girls. That’s fine I was not a naturally touchy guy either. In fact it got so bad that one time on a bootcamp in Toronto Savoy came up to me to ask me if I knew if there was a casino around where he could play some keno because the students hadn’t seen any keno all night.

So what I did was I came up with a simple structure to guide my touching. It went like this:

1.    Playful touching- This is stuff like playfully shoving her, flicking her on the arm, patting her pompously, etc.. This is the stuff that happens early on. With touching the earlier you do it the more you will seem like a naturally touchy guy.

2.    Hand touching- This is stuff like high fives, thumb wars, playfully slapping her hand, so on and so forth.

3.    Arm in arm- This will happen as you’re qualifying girls. She says something you like you take her hand, place it on your arm and say “That’s all you get.” You can also do this when you’re moving a girl by asking her if she’s the romantic type and holding your arm out for her to link through.

4.    Arm around. This is another reward type of touching. She says or does something you like and you pull her in by her waist. There’s an easy way to tell if she’s attracted here, because she will put her arm back around you if she likes it.

5.    Hand holding. The best way to hand hold, is to suggest moving and then hold your hand back for her to grab.

6.    Kissing- There’s a variety of ways to kiss, but my favorite is what’s called the almost kiss. This is where in the middle of talking to her, you stop and say

 “ I’m sorry, I’m having a really hard time talking to you, because I keep thinking about kissing you. But I understand we’re not ready for that yet. So we’re going to do an almost kiss. We’re going to get really close, but you’re not allowed to kiss me and I’m not allowed to kiss you. If you kiss me it will ruin all trust in our relationship.”

 Then you lean forward and get as close to her lips as you can without touching them. Then you push her away and go back to talking. 5-10 minutes later you can go back in for another almost kiss at which point the girl will almost always kiss you.

 That’s a good start for ya Mark. The key with touching is that you have to act like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Next Caller.

Hi, Sinn

I would like an opinion from You. A guy approaches a Women in person and the Women shows the guy indicators of interest by making eye contact, smiling, laughing with him during the entire lengthly conversation. He then ask her 5 mins laters before he leaves "If she would like to see him again?" and she says yes. The guy then gives her his cell phone and she puts in her name and number. On the 3rd day the guy calls this Women and on the 5th ring he gets her voice mail. He leaves a message with his name & number and other things but doesn't get a call back. 8 days go by and he calls her again but gets her voicemail and leaves another new message. This time he doesn't say his name or number because he left it on his first voicemail. The guy figures that she would recognize his voice and knew it was him from the first time.

Should the guy wait 9 more days to pass before he calls again to leave another voice message? Why would a Women give a guy her real cell phone number but not answer her phone or return his calls? When should this guy give up on calling her? How many voicemails should this guy leave for her before he hears from her again? The guy understands how some Women just like the attention or dont want to seem too easy.

Sterling

Ok we’ll call this portion of the mailbag “ She’s just not that into you”.

Newsflash guys, women give out their phone numbers all the time. The phone number isn’t worth the paper it’s written on, or in this case the phone it’s stored in.  Sometimes women will eve give you their phone number to get rid of you. This isn’t the seventies when a phone number meant something. Every girl who has a cell phone, has caller ID and she can pretty much avoid any guy she wants to, and guess what she wants to avoid you.

The major mistake you made here, was not setting up a date. Getting phone numbers and agreeing to see each other again sometime, is a stairway to heaven. Instead what you want to do is suggest an activity at a specific time and place that you guys can do together. This could be as simple as mentioning how you’re going to a comedy show this Thursday early in the conversation and then bringing it up again and inviting her when you want to get her phone number. By making her commit to a certain time and place you will see if she’s actually interested or if she’s just being polite. This way she can say “I’m sorry I’m busy that night.” And if she doesn’t suggest alternative plans, you know you have a potential flake on your hands.

 Now you made a few other mistakes as well. First you waited too long to call her. On a cold approach you want to call the very next day. The reason being that she doesn’t have a whole lot invested in you unlike a guy in her social circle, who she’ll have to see again. Then you waited an ungodly amount of time to follow up when she didn’t call you back. 8 days is ridiculous. You want to keep following up every day or other day until you either get her on the phone, or you get distracted by all the other girls you have in the pipeline. You do have other girls in the pipeline right?

Oh wait, no you don’t otherwise you wouldn’t be so obviously hurt by this girl not returning your calls.

Sorry for the harsh love but this is the real world and not every girl that you think you have a connection with is going to call you back. The solution is to go out and meet more women.

 That’s gonna wrap it up like a guy who picks up chicks at the free clinic.

 Till next time,

 S

Needy Vs interested a balancing act

 Ever since the Kristen ordeal (Now almost 2 years ago) I have been very focused on making sure girls don't get attached and thus I have taken a lot of things out of my game that are very effective like telling girls I like them, complimenting, and general emotional connection stuff.

 This was not a good idea, and my results have suffered a bit, notably in the ability to keep girls around for longer than a few weeks.

I realized this last week and have been making the changes necessary to fix it.

But this is a good topic of discussion on here because a lot of guys don't know how to walk the fine line between being needy and being interested.

In general you are probably better off demonstrating more interest as long as you can avoid being needy.

What's the difference?

Interest requires a reason. When you are being needy you are interested in the girl so that you are not alone. When you are interested in a girl for specific (well defined) reasons your risk of being seen as needy becomes much lower.

Also keep in mind some basic rule like not texting or calling more than once a day without a response etc...

Hope that helps.

JS

10 Rules For Texting

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What The Dirty Dad Did Wrong- Realhousewives Of NYC

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Making Phone # soup

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Attention And Commitment to The Conversation > Opening

 Lately I have realized more and more that guys focus on the WRONG things when it comes to starting conversations with women.

Namely they focus on what they are going to say rather than getting a woman's complete attention.

"Opening" as it was defined is about starting a conversation but it doesn't really do you any good to start a conversation with a woman who is only half paying attention to you.

This is especially true during the day time as often women are not sure you're talking to them unless you make it explicitly clear by asking for her full attention.

One of the reasons guys are soooo into direct game is because of the side effect to a direct approach that you engage a woman's full attention. There's nothing inherently special about direct but it does force you to fully commit to getting a woman's attention and as such some guys feel they do way better because of it.

Correlation not causation at it's finest.

So you know you need to get a woman's attention, but every guy reading this has had the experience of getting a woman's attention saying one or two things and then having the girl turn back to her friends, her cellphone or her shopping.

The reason for this is because attention is only one half of successfully getting a conversation started. The other half is getting the woman committed to the conversation. You have to get her to actually engage in the conversation quickly or you're just going to get good at opening.

Sometimes this happens easily and women are quick to joke or play back. Other times you have to actually ask the woman to commit a few minutes to talking either through an isolation attempt in a group or simply asking her if she has 5 mins to talk at the bookstore.

Your opener doesn't matter half as much as these two things and the sooner you stop focusin on what you're going to say and start focusing on how you're going to get her attention and commitment the better your game will become.

JS- The King Of Content

Dating For Minority Men Part 2:

This article is now available on my new site.

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Guest Article: Pick-up For Minority Men

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Not Accepting Rudeness

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Seduce Her Secrets: Guest Blog By Carlos Xuma

How To Seduce Her Secrets...

Women have a lot of secrets. Her life is like her purse - stuffed full of secrets, and getting bigger every year.

The problem is that when you meet a woman, you don't know what any of them are. And after you know her for a little while, she eventually lets a few slip. But don't you wish you could have found them out earlier?

Like the time she blew that guy out on the dance floor...

Or that time she was married for a weekend when she was in Vegas...

Or that football team gang-bang she had...?
(Hmmm... hopefully not)

It would save you a whole bunch of frustration if you could just find a way to get her to reveal some of these deep dark secrets at the get-go. Right at the very start.

Not to mention that if you get a woman to reveal dark secrets about herself, you make it easier to take her home and sleep with her.

Well, what I'm going to do today is teach you a technique that I found to get women to tell their deepest, darkest, most F'd-up secrets right away. Just remember, though: If you go down this path, you're going to learn more about the nasty side of women than you may want to know...

Don't say I didn't warn you!

The good side effect of this technique is that it will also show you how to seduce a woman, because once a woman has opened up and revealed herself to you, she's yours for the taking.

So now I'm going to show you how to seduce a woman into telling you her secrets...

Technique 1: Get her to tell you a childhood secret.

This is where it all begins. By getting her to invest a little with you by telling you this, she's going to start opening up more to you.

Start small. I usually ask her: "So I bet you were a real 'nice girl' when you were growing up. I bet you never got into trouble."

Then she's going to smile and laugh, and say something like, "Yeah, right!"

Then you challenge her again, and tell her: "Oh, really? What, like you made a prank phone call? I don't know... Tell me what you did that was so 'bad.'"

That will push her into revealing something about herself to you.


Technique 2: Get her to tell you about her wildest night out with her girlfriends - and something wild that one of her FRIENDS did.

This one is the "gateway drug" for a woman that gets her to let down her guard and really open up.

You see, when a woman is out with her friends, she does things that she might not normally do. Not freaky in a sexual way, but just wild because her girlfriend's behavior gets her to act more like the group than herself. It's the mob mentality.

What you're doing is getting her to start thinking about those wild times, even if she doesn't tell you about all of them. In fact, she will probably hold back on 90% of the crazy shit she did on those wild nights.

But what's easier for her to reveal is something one of her friends did on one of those crazy nights. Hey, it's not HER, after all, and it's easier to talk about someone else's wild times.

The key to this step is - don't be judgmental! Don't make any comments that make it seem like you're judging her friend negatively, or against that kind of behavior. Tell her that's all cool, and you wish you'd been there to see it yourself.


Technique 3: Reveal a dark secret of your own.

This is really key.

A woman has a radar that tells her when she's "clicking" with someone. And one of the biggest parts of that is when she senses that she's getting as much from you as she's giving. This enables a sense of connection from her.

So what you have to do is to think ahead and plan out what you will give up as your sacrificial lamb - your dirty secret.

What I usually tell women about is the time I was playing with my cute cousin, when we were just getting to be around 5 or 6 years old. We were pretending we were a married couple and we would go off to work, and kiss each other goodbye. Hey, we didn't know any better, we were just kids. But it was kinda wrong, but still fun at the same time.

Now most women like that story because they've encountered some guy that they would like to have had but couldn't because of some taboo (typically he was married.)

I suggest the story be absolutely true, because B.S. won't work here. She'll figure it out in a heartbeat, and you'll actually hurt yourself in the trust area.

You have to have a lot of detail in your story, too. That will make it more convincing, and it will draw her in like bees to honey.


Technique 4: Get her to reveal her "dark little secret."

After you've told her your story, this is the perfect time to spring this on her.

You see, there's this little psychological principle called the "reciprocity" rule. It means that if you do something for someone, they feel compelled to do something for you to return the favor. To not do anything would leave an outstanding debt on them that they don't want. (This is also why most people refuse the most basic of favors from you - especially strangers. You can't do nice things for people because they'll feel indebted to you.)

But this works for you because now she will want to reveal something to you to "pay back" this debt of trust.

The key here is to make sure she's really giving you a good "dark secret" in exchange. Some women come up with some really lame stuff, like they shoplifted a pack of gum. If she does this, you can't accept it. You have to call her on it by saying, "Oh, now come on... I gave you something really good there, and that's the best you can come up with? You must be some kind of innocent girl that's never even kissed a guy before."

You tease her into going further and telling you more.


Now you see what we've done here?

We've moved her along the trust line from mild disclosure (small secrets) to the big mo-fos (DARK secrets.)

Oh, something really important here: If she does finally tell you something dark, you do NOT make fun of her. She went out on a limb by revealing this to you, so you need to make sure you don't violate her trust by making her feel like a fool for doing that. When she's done, buy her a drink to reward her. Then do what you did before for her friend and express nothing but approval.

Then take her home and bang her the rest of the night... Because now she'll want to act consistently with this new "bad girl" image you've helped her create.

It works. For the guys that use it...

Oh, and if you want more info on how to seduce women, you probably already know that the way into her bed is through knowing what to say to women.

I've got a great video on that for you here:
CLICK HERE for The Secrets Of How To Talk To Women (link to http://www.carlosxuma.com/how-to-talk-to-women/ )


Stay Alpha...

- Carlos Xuma

Continuing the car drama..

 So I didn't have a car for 2 weeks and then after getting my car back last Thursday it's back in the shop with the exact same problem...

So because of that updates have been... erratic.

But I should be updating more soon, after I get done throwing things against the wall and yelling :)

JS

It Gets Better (Approaching That Is)

 Yesterday I had a weird day of game.

  I was out and about doing some approaches and it was not going well...

 I was getting a ton of girls who just wouldn't engage or contribute beyond one word answers and one girl who even answered her phone while I was talking to her.

I even tried to slum a lil bit by hitting on a goth girl at whole foods which should have been an easy # close and I couldn't even make this work.

In all it was probably 4 horrible approaches in my first 4 attempts.

To top it all off I was really tired and didn't really want to be out and about talking to chicks.

But I kept going and my next approach went great with a really hot girl and then I got another # after that followed by two more.

One of the things this reminded me was that the first few approaches often suck both as an experience and in terms of results. I talk about warm up sets a lot but in my own personal life, I still expect to hit home runs in my first approach of the day. It'd be really cool if I was the kind of guy who could be always "on" (and sometimes I am) but for the most part my approaches(and most of you reading this) are going to get markedly better around the 4th, 5th and 6th approach. Because by that time you're warmed up, you've exposed yourself to some social feedback and hopefully you've made some adjustments to your body language, eye contact etc...

So when going out don't get discouraged if your first few approaches don't go anywhere, it happens. But it also doesn't mean that you won't be able to get better in approaches 4,5 and 6.

JS- The King Of Content

Having an Identity That Hooks

 Hey there,

 Today I want to talk about something I've been thinking about for awhile.

 In order to get better results with women, you're going to need a comprehensive identity that hooks a woman's attention and causes her to interact with you more based strictly on your identity.

Now this doesn't mean that you need to go back to 2005 and start telling women you are a "superstar daredevil illusionist." or pretending to be someone you're not. Instead you need to tailor your presentation towards keeping a woman's attention.

When women meet men, they are trying to stereotype that guy in order to figure out how interested they are in a guy. Furthermore you want to be someone who can be easily described to her friends, mom, etc in one word.

Women will often interact with men they are not attracted to or interested in because they have an identity that has hooked their attention. I came to this idea when I watched a C level reality star in a bar with a bunch of girls who kept saying they not only weren't attracted to him but thought he was kinda lame. Yet they kept talking to and interacting with the guy and eventually he left with one of those girls.

You want an identity that will keep the woman's attention without you having to do it with social skills which lowers your value and lowers the women's interest in you.

This probably sounds more complicated than it actually is.

Most guys don't actually think about the way they present themselves to women. They choose a model for picking up chicks, a few routines that are supposed to keep a woman's attention and think that should be enough. Worse still because different companies have different presentation styles (RSD is drunk fratboy game, Brent teaches rich guy game, Mystery teaches intrigue/faux celebrity game etc...) guys tend to mix and match different routines and ideas from guys with VERY different presentation styles which leads to guys coming off extremely incongruent and getting bad results with women.

So you want to think about your identity on the whole when it comes to meeting women.

To do this you need to ask yourself a few questions:

What kind of guy am I?

Now not every guy can be high value, or a frat boy type or a C list reality star. But every guy can have some identity that is attractive to women whether it's "psychic" guy (an early Mystery Identity) or  yoga teacher guy, or even music guy. Whatever it is you need to have a one word description of what kind of guy you are and how you're going to present that.

Then ask yourself

Is it congruent?

Just because you want to be that cool club guy, doesn't mean you can actually pull it off. You have to be realistic here or you WILL NEVER GET RESULTS.

Lastly ask yourself

How can I get this into the conversation quickly and make sure that the woman is hooked by my identity first before I try to actually get her attracted.


Once you're able to establish an identity that hooks a woman's attention, you'll find that your interactions go much smoother and easier and you get less flaking and distrust from women overall.

JS- The King Of Content

Cars Suck...

 My car is back in the shop today.

 For longtime blog readers, this is not the M3 I had from 2007-2011. This is another different car that also ends up in the shop a lot.

 It's interesting timing because I want to begin the process of selling this car and getting something that is

 A: More reliable. This car has been better than the M3 but still in the shop way too much and the repairs are way more expensive than I'd like them to be.

 B: Gets better gas mileage. I seriously get like 200 miles to a tank and I drive kind of a lot now.

 So hopefully my warranty covers the stuff that's wrong with my car today and I get it back quickly so that I can sell it and get something new that will almost invariably be an issue as well.

JS

3 years or 2 thousand approaches; How to know when to give up

 Recently I have had some phone calls and emails from guys who have been into pick-up for a long, long, long time without actually getting results.

One guy I spoke to had been doing pick up for close to 5 years and was still having problems getting laid. Another guy had done over 2,000 approaches and only had 2-3 lays.

Which brings me to a very important point. When it comes to getting better at pick-up there is a learning curve. For me it took 6 months of doing approaches every day for me to get my first lay BUT and this is a big Kardashian sized BUT after that I started getting laid by at least 1 new girl a month.

When you get your first success there should be a breakthrough where things start to get easier. If not after your first success fairly soon after that.

Now the guy who had been doing stuff for 5 years had never had any coaching and perhaps that was the reason he wasn't getting results as oftentimes a coach can fix some of the issues, but the bigger issue is this:

If after 5 years of practice you still aren't good at something, it might be time to admit that this just isn't for you.

Hell 5 years is too long in my opinion, I've watched other guys both online and in real life grind and put in the effort only to never get better. I hate to be big king dream squasher (Ok that's not true I love it so much it makes have to change my pants) but some of you don't have what it takes to get good at this.

That doesn't mean you cant get a little bit better, it just means that at a certain point if you're not getting better and actually getting success with women, then you need to give up the dream of ever being a player and rolling in the clubs with 10s on each arm and start to look at what's realistic for you which is probably a girlfriend of roughly equal attractiveness.

So I'm now officially laying out my guide for when to quit pick-up. It's actually quite simple.

If you have

A: Been into pick up for over a year without taking any action. If you've been reading stuff for that long you're probably never going to take action so you might as well stop torturing yourself by reading about other people's exploits.

B. If you've been doing approaches for over 2 years and haven't gotten any success. We'll define any success as less than 3 lays.

C. You've done more than 2,000 cold approaches and have less than 3 lays.

So there you have it a guide to giving up so you can move on to something else that might work for you.

JS

Don't Eat Wings On A Date and other common sense dating tips

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Going Out Solo Report is Here!

 Hey,

 So finally after a long, long delay the Going Out Solo report is available absolutely free(Don't say I never gave you anything)!!!!

You can get it at: http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/soloreport.html

Download it and let me know what you think in the comments.

JS
 

Still Waiting On The Going Out Solo Report

 Hey,

 I know I said that we'd have the going out solo report today but we're still trying to figure out a way that we can deliver it to you without it costing too much $$, so stay tuned.

Also for once I actually was kinda busy today so I didn't have time to come up with a blog topic. My bad. You are all going to get refunds of the 0.00 we charge you for this blog.

Talk soon.

JS

Direct openers are like an amplifier...

 Here's a new short thought I've had recently while approaching girls directly during the day time.

 Direct Openers are like an amplifier meaning that whatever reactions you normally get from women 
are going to be magnified and made more intense.

This can be good if it goes well, girls who like you, will be more into you because you approached them directly.

However the opposite is true as well, if a girl would have given you a polite response with a non direct opener, she will probably just thank you and walk off or blow you out because the response gets amplified as well.

So if you think you're going to get a good reaction from that girl direct is he way to go, however if you think it might be rough going then you may want to start off indirectly and switch over once you've gotten some positive signs on the approach.

Word.

JS- The King Of Content

 

New Good First Text

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Efficiency VS Effectiveness

 Hey there,

Here's a thought I had yesterday while doing some day game...

When it comes to pickup, you should focus on efficiency as opposed to trying to do the 100% perfect approach.

Here's why, there are a lot of things that can go wrong in a pickup that you won't find out about until you do the approach.

For example, you can approach as the girl is just about to walk away, you can approach a girl who has a wedding ring on, you can approach a girl who barely speaks English, etc...

So because there are all of these things that can go wrong that you can't realistically predict you want to focus on being as efficient as possible so that if these things come up in the midst of the pickup you haven't wasted time, effort or energy analyzing or waiting for the right time to approach.

Instead it's better to just jump into the approach and be willing to leave it if there's some inherent problem you find after the fact.

JS

Free Report Topic Winner is...

 Hey there,

 So it looks like the overwhelming winner for the topic of the free report is:

 Going out solo.

 So I'm going to take a few days to put together a really cool report on going out solo (Something I did 3-5 times a week for years and years) then I'll have that for you sometime next week absolutely free of charge.

Thanks to everyone who voted or left comments.

Best,

JS

Pickup and The Placebo Effect

 Hey there,

The placebo effect happens when in experiments a group of people are given a sugar pill but told that it will help them with anxiety, depression, etc...

 Amazingly the vast majority of people who take the placebo improve despite the fact that the medicine didn't really do anything.

You can read more about that here: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=placebo-effect-a-cure-in-the-mind

The placebo effect also plays a huge role in pickup and dating advice.

If you believe that what you are doing is going to work, you're chances increase exponentially.

In fact in lots of cases (like students getting laid on workshop) just feeling like they "know what to do" will lead to success.

Now this is not to say that there is no value in pick up advice. Clearly some things like knowing how to tease a girl, keep the conversation going, escalate, are important. But I would venture to guess that the overall boost of confidence from first discovering this stuff is more powerful than all the techniques combined.

Therefore the question about game shifts from, what is the most effective technique, to how can I feel like I know the most effective technique in order to engage the placebo effect.

Food for thought

JS- The King Of Content

PS. Only 2 more days to vote for the report!

Message For Hot Girls: Stop Talking About How Much You get Hit On!

 I have had some weird approaches this week!

 But the one enduring theme is that a lot of girls have told me how much they get hit on in LA.

 Like a lot...

And honestly talking about how much you get hit on is really lame, because:

A. I get that you're hot, otherwise I wouldn't have approached you. Clearly I understand that other guys find you attractive as well.

B. Of all people I know how much guys hit on girls, it's cool. I actually support it.

C. Stop pretending it wasn't flattering, I have enough female friends to know that even if the guy was creepy you were flattered he pulled his car over to talk to you and it made you feel prettier.

D. By complaining about guys hitting on you, and furthermore calling nice guys creepy just because the approached you, you're continuing to support the idea that men shouldn't approach women and that's it's something to be ashamed when it's not. You're also not helping to encourage the guys you may be interested in to approach you.

E. It's just lame. It's like bragging about how much money you have or how many people you know. In the end you're only making yourself look more insecure.

That is all.

JS- The King Of Content

P.S be sure to keep voting in the report survey. 

Free Report Update

 Yo yo,

 So the finalists for the Free Report Topic are:

 Drumroll please...

 1. Going Out Solo
 2. Physical Escalation
 3. Getting/Staying In State
 4. Specific types of girls (Hipsters, asian girls, shy girls etc...)

 There are also 2 different and unique ways you can vote.

 # 1 you can leave a comment as always and I'll have one of our team members go through and tally those.

 BUT and it's a big but, if you look to the side bar you'll notice there is a poll there on this very subject so you can and should also leave a comment there.

I'm going to leave the poll up a week so be sure to vote before next Wed, June 6th.

We'll be back to regular blog updates Fri but I may mention this again Monday just to make sure you vote.

 JS

Free Report Topics?

 Hey there,

 Because I"m your friend, i'm gonna write a special report just for my blog readers.

But, since it's only for you guys, I need you to comment below and tell me what you'd like the free report to be on.  Depending on what you guys want the most I'll create an awesome report exclusively for you guys.

Be sure to leave a comment so that I can create a report on the topic MOST of you want to hear about.

 Talk soon,

 JS- The King Of Content

On Promiscuity Part 3: Getting Back At Women...

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On Promiscuity Part 2: Filling a hole...

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On promiscuity Part 1: Boosting Self Esteem Through Sex

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Do You Make These Text Mistakes?

Hey,

 

Before I get into today's lesson, please check out Bobby 

Rio's amazing video on texting women into bed if 

you haven't already.

 

WATCH IT HERE

 

One of the most frustrating things is when you get

a woman's number (and she seems to be totally into you)

 

... But then after a few texts she seems to lose interest,

fizzle out, or go cold.

 

The natural reaction is to blame the woman. "She's a

flake..."

 

But if you do that, you could missing a giant crink

in YOUR GAME that is easier to fix than you think.

 

In fact, if you're like most guys than you're probably

just making one of these common texting

mistakes that will kill your chances with a girl.

 

==> New video: 3 Texts To Turn Her On and Get Her Out 

 

MISTAKE:  Confusing Responses for Attraction  

 

Before you've had your first date with a girl, she won't 

feel much of a connection to you. As unfortunate as it 

may be, you're probably not the only guy texting her. 

 

See, a common mistake most guys make when they're 

texting a girl is that they mistake responses for 

attraction. Often when a guy is getting a response from 

a girl, he believes that he's getting closer to getting 

her on a date or to seducing her.

 

The exact opposite is true!

 

The more texts you send before meeting up with girl 

means the less of a chance you have of actually meeting 

up with her! 

 

That's right: even if a girl is RESPONDING 

to your texts, you're not getting yourself ANY closer 

to actually getting her out on a date.

 

Instead, say more with less. Whenever you're considering 

what to text a girl, see if you can say it simpler, with less 

text. 

 

Most guys send pointless texts to women like, "How's 

your day?" or "Enjoying the warm weather?" These texts DO 

NOT bring you ANY closer to a woman! They just beg for a 

response (which doesn't mean anything).

 

To make sure you NEVER again waste texts on pointless chatter, 

ask yourself this golden question:

 

How is this text bringing this girl and I closer to a date?

 

If your answer is simply "to get her to know her better," 

erase the text. It's not going to help you.

 

==> New video: 3 Texts To Turn Her On and Get Her Out 

 

MISTAKE:  Not Conveying "Fun"

 

Here is the simple truth.  When a woman gives you her number

she is NOT signing a social contract to go out with you...

 

And until it seems FUN for her... she's probably not going

to bother meeting up with you.

 

So when you send boring texts that don't display any 

personality or don't elicit any emotions in her... in her

mind you're not worth the trouble of meeting up with.

 

Here are some signs you're NOT being fun.

 

- Am I being stiff and formal "Hi. It was nice meeting you

friday".... (too stiff. too formal)

 

- Am I putting pressure on her to keep the convo going?

 

- Am I badering her with question?

 

Remember, every text you send should make you seem like

the FUN OPTION.  The escape from her boring day.

 

So if you've been making these texting mistakes now is 

the time to STOP making them. 

 

If fact, Bobby's special video shows you exactly how you 

can accomplish everything you need to accomplish with

just three texts. 

 

==> watch the video

 

Best, 

 

Jon

The Most Important Factor is Effort

 I was talking to my friend about what the most important factor for success with women and dating was the other day.

 There's quite a few things that are involved:
 Looks
 Money
"Game" or social engineering
 Emotional Connections
 Commonalities
 Status

 But I think of all those things, effort is the one factor that separates the guys who get laid a ton from the guys who do all right or fail completely.

Think about it, a guy could have great looks, or a lot of money or a lot of "Game" but if he doesn't put in a consistent effort he's not going to get the best results.

I even think back in the day Gunwitch, had an equation that was something like your looks + your effort/ 2 equals your best possible results.

So for example if a guy is a 5 and puts in a 10 effort he could end up with 7.5s. I think I agree, though there are outside factors like "game", money, and emotional connections which could boost the guy even higher without the 10 effort that (AVERAGE)guy is getting nowhere. You have to want better for yourself and then work really hard to get it.

 The worse your starting point is: Short, Fat, Old, Bald, Bad Accent, etc...

 The more effort you're going to need to put in to be successful. I remember once I had a student in 12 months to mastery who was 5'4 bald, fat and unattractive with a terribly thick Indian accent. We were talking and I was telling him he needed to hit the gym and get a vocal coach to work on the accent before he was going to see major progress. He said something to me like " That's too much work." and I went off on an old school rant about how you have to want this and he wasn't starting with the best raw material. And that's the thing a lot of you guys KNOW what you need to do to be more successful with women: You need to stop being a pussy, or lose some weight, or get out more. But you don't want to do that because it's hard. And because you're lazy. So you constantly look for the next magic pill or program that will somehow do the work for you.

 It is possible to succeed as an ugly, short, old dude I've had students do it, but they work their assess off to get that success. They try and try and try and then when they really want to quit they try some more. That's the kind of effort you need to be willing to put in if you're serious about getting success with women. Especially if you're short, ugly, poor, or socially awkward.

 JS

Developing an internal mute button

This article is now available on my new site.

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Video on Upside Of Irrationality

 Hey there,

 So props to the comment monkey section for finding this video which explains what I was trying to say the other day about the Upside Of Irrationality.

So enjoy the video and comment below:

 Word.

The One Interesting Chapter in The Upside of Irrationality

 The Upside of Irrationality is a boring book.

 It's the sequel to Predictably Irrational which I don't think helps you understand dating as much as it helps you understand that people are prone to irrational behavior which you'll see in dating time and again.

There is however one good chapter in The Upside Of Irrationality on of all things online dating. The chapter contends that online dating is a market in failure. There are a series of experiments that back up this idea in the chapter but much of it is focused on how online dating doesn't simulate a real date because you are essentially window shopping based on pictures and a few descriptions that anyone with half a brain could fake.

There's also some good stuff on ugly people and how they rationalize not being able to get the mates they really desire.

 It's probably not worth reading the whole book, but if you have 30-45 minutes free to read the chapter it's pretty interesting.

 Word.

 JS

My Thoughts On The Guy/Chick Debate

 Man Do I Hate The New Blogger....

 Seriously I hate that shit with a passion, and hope it dies.

 Anyway I read your comments including Captain Jack saying it's best to be a pirate which I think is true...

I think it's easier to be a dude in most situations.

The exceptions being a hot 20 something girl in LA, Vegas, NYC, or Miami who literally has the world by the balls.

Though it is WAY easier to end up alone as a dude...

There are quite a few pluses such as:

 1. No child birth- No thanks to passing a kid out of my body. You know ho wannoying it is when you have to take a shit? Imagine that for 9 months, no thanks.
 2. No fear of rape- I mean outside of jail.
 3. Not always judged by our appearance
 4. Our looks don't fade as bad
 5. They make less money $$$

 So there you have it, be happy you're a dude even if you can't get no pussy!
 
 JS

Is It Easier To Be A Girl Or A Dude

I was out with one of my friends yesterday getting our day drink on, when he started telling a group of girls someything like " Its easier to be a girl because even if you never make money you can always find a guy who's rich so that adds to your income.

That's actually a lot more clear as I'm not writing this after drinking 12 Vodka sodas.

 But it got me thinking, is it easier to be a girl or a dude.

When it comes to dating it's WAY easier to be a girl, they don't have to approach, pay for dates, etc...

When it comes to work and making money it's better to be a dude as guys still make on average something like 15% more than women for doing the same jobs.

Women live longer though...

And on and on the list goes.

Since we've been getting a lot of comments on here lately (Cuz I'm awesome) I figured I'd start the week off by asking what you guys and girls think?

Overall is it harder to be a guy or a girl?

 JS

You Can't Learn From "Naturals"

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Mythical Creature Of Pick-Up: The Fat Guy With Game

There are many mythical creatures in the land of Pick-up, there's the mythical guy who can pick up girls without talking, there's the guy who can out game celebrities and there's my personal favorite; The Fat Guy with game.

Question, if a dirty 5 dollar street hooker, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and A fat guy with game are walking down the street and see a $5 dollar bill, who gets it?

Think about it...

The answer is the dirty $5 dollar hooker because the other 3 guys are figments of your imagination.

In now 8 years of actively going out and trying to meet guys with game, I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER seen a guy who was fat with game.

And I mean fat fat not fat like Nick Savoy who is a tall skinny guy with a big gut. I mean so fat that when you first see him you're only thought is man that guy is fucking fat. Chubby don't count.

In fact I would go so far as to say this, if a pickup teacher advertises that their shit works even if you're obese, clutch on to your money and run in the opposite direction.

If you're fat, women will talk to you if you approach them (Unless it's direct then they'll usually keep walking) but you are instantly screened out as having any sexual potential whatsoever. I've seen it on many bootcamps and I always tell the dude he needs to lose weight before he decides to try to learn game.

Gym before Pick-up is one of the golden rules for actually getting results at this stuff.

JS

Locus Of Control and Pickup

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The Blonde Thing...

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Girls as Options Traders

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Further Proof Neil Strauss Just Wants Your Money

Neil's Idiot Marketing guy emailed me for some unknown reason.

Check the vid to see my response.



JS

Approach Anxiety and Variability

Short Post today, I've been reading a great book called "The Willpower Instinct" which is all about willpower and the nueroscience behind how we do or don't have the willpower to pursue our goals.

There was an interesting piece which relates to why I think it's hard for guys to get into the swing of doing consistent approaches.

The piece was on variability which basically means how much difference there was between the behavior on a day to day basis. In one example in the book, they talked about someone who was trying to quit smoking. If they started by trying to quit all together, the chances of them quitting were almost zero, however if they tried to just smoke the same amount of cigarettes each day almost every participant reduced and then eliminated their smoking.

The reason was variability if someone smoked 12 cigarettes one day they have to smoke 12 the next and the next. Same with 4 etc... So it made it easier to reduce it since it was no longer one extra cigarette which is easily rationalized but 1 cig a day.

I think this relates to approaching and AA because guys will not approach any women all week then try to approach 12 women a night on the weekend which oftentimes they fail at because it's such a change from their day to day average of approaching no women.

So what I recommend is if you have AA trying to approach the same number of people every day in the beginning even if that just means talking to one girl a day you will start to develop the habit of talking to girls and can eventually add on to that in the same way that smokers toned down their habits.

There's a lot of good neuroscience explaining why this works better in the book, but I'm too lazy to find quotes or experiments if you want more info I highly recommend the book even though I'm not even halfway through it.

JS- The King of Content

Interesting Thought For The Day About "PUA gurus"

I find it very interesting that these guys ALWAYS talk about how busy they are(Not to mention teaching guys to avoid qualifying themselves.),then spend 10-12 posts defending/qualifying themselves on various forums (Where I lurk soooo hard muthafuckas want to fine me) especially if it involves the topic of them not getting hot girls or their girlfriends being less than a 10.

Didn't Shakespeare write something about some guy protesting too much???

Either way it makes fascinating weekend reading when I'm bored in class. So I should probably shut the fuck up so they keep doing it....

Actually who am I kidding it's a pathological behavior I could send them emails telling them they do this and they would still do it.

Which means I have some emails to write...

Or I'm going to kickboxing class as I'm actually not that busy, because this job is not hard enough that I could tell people I work 17 hour days with a straight face.

Oh pickup gurus never change.

JS-The King Of Content

Two Things I'm Into Right Now

Here's a couple of things I'm into on this Wednesday:

1. Joe Budden's AMAZING remix on No Church In The Wild (Which was my favorite song on the Watch The Throne Album) This Remix is probably the best verse of the year thus far...



2. @Dadboner twitter. Bold Flavors, Power Moves, A Thousand Beers, Bud Light Nums, if this means something to you, you're awesome and read DadBoner's amazing twitter feed. It's not like other twitter feeds, it's a comic character written by a working hollywood writer who posts stories that will make you piss your pants check it out if you like laughing.

JS

My Top 10 Free or Really Really Really close date ideas...

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Going on Vacation

Yo,

I'm out of town this week so there won't be updates til next Monday when I will have some cool new stuff and maybe even a video on cold reading if you're really nice :)

JS

K.I.S.S # closing system

Hey there,

I've been actively trying to simplify my game recently. One of the things that's really been working for me (To the point I started teaching it to my private phone coaching students and now it's working for them) is what I'm calling the K.I.S.S (Or Keep It Simple Stupid) system for getting a girl's number.

What happened was this, we all know it's better if you make a date with a girl for a specific time and at a specific place right?

Well I only ever take girls to drinks or for coffee if they're under 21(But above 18). So instead of coming up with this elaborate plan or coming up with a unique date every time, I decided to just start asking girls to come out for a drink or coffee when I meet them.

No more having to seed a story about a cool place, or make it seem really elaborate.

So I started doing that, instead of the overly elaborate seeding, I would just ask them if they wanted to grab a drink sometime in the normal flow of the conversation. This is a key point as when I waited til the end of the conversation to ask, I got a LOT more flaking (like 30%) so it's important that you treat it like a seed and you don't ask for the women's # right away after she agrees to go have a drink.

Wait a minute or 2 and then get her phone number so you can figure out where you'll go. I also like to say I like dive bars and ask her if she likes dive bars at which point I'll tell her we'll go somewhere cool and that's it. I'm out.

This is MUCH simpler and can be thrown in to any conversation and the best part is the girl will know it's a date, so there won't be any confusion where you end up in the dreaded friend zone.

Hope that helps,

JS- The King Of Content

I am EXHAUSTED!!!

So the last few months I have been back in school, and it is EXHAUSTING.

Not to mention that I go to school on the weekends because I'm still running this business, blogging, doing kickboxing 3x a week, girls and trying to have a non girl related social life.

The good news is I only have 4 more weeks of school and then at least I'll have weekends back.

But today, I am dead tired, sooo tired I can't even sleep... And when I finally did get out of bed, I went and laid down on the couch. In theory I am going to kickboxing next but we shall see...

JS

5 Types of Cold Reads

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Rule # 7 : Always End Interaction First

Here's a good piece of advice that many guys(including myself sometimes) don't take.

Whenever you're interacting with a woman, whether it's the first time you meet her, through the phone, or on a date you should always end the interaction first.

This does a few things:

1. It may end the interaction before she wants it to end leaving her wanting more but not getting it.

2. It shows you are a busy guy creating scarcity.

3. Most importantly it keeps you from looking like the needy guy hanging on to the conversation with a girl for as long as he possibly can.

You don't need to be rude about it, but a simple "Oh man I totally have to run" can be used to end any conversation.

And if you've been running good game then you should already have her phone number or have set up a date well before the conversation starts to linger creating the perfect time for an exit.

Hope that helps,

JS

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a tricky subject, for 2 reasons:

1. It's a pretty important "Basic" skill. Without making good eye contact, it is very hard to display confidence and you can end up looking insecure, or worse shady.

2. There's no such thing as "SEDUCTIVE" eye contact. Eye contact is important but it's not like you're going to figure out some sort of Rasputin-y eye contact magic that makes girls fall in love with you just by looking at them.

So how do we bring these two ideas into alignment?

Pretty easily actually, eye contact is MOST important on the approach, you want to make nice, comfortable eye contact with the girl/group you are approaching.

When I say nice comfortable eye contact I mean holding EC for at least 1-2 seconds before looking away. Generally you want to hold EC until the girl looks away but you want to avoid staring as that is creepy, so never hold the EC for longer than 3 seconds without looking away.

Another way to use EC is as an emphasis. If in Attraction I want to make a point, I can double up on eye contact as I'm talking. Generally as you're talking you want to make and break eye contact on that 1-3 second pattern.

With a group it's necessary to spread the EC out with the entire group rather than just stare at one girl the whole time.

To get more advanced you can start to think about what different kinds of looks you could use with EC for example giving a woman a funny look is very different than a sexy look but both require strong EC to make happen.

Hope that helps.

JS

Brainstorming: Ways To Convey Direct Interest

Lately, I've been talking about this idea of expressing direct (Non qualification based) interest in a girl early in the interaction as a way of

A. Defining the pickup for the girl. A lot of the time when you approach a girl especially if you're using an indirect opener the girl is unsure of what the interaction is, by using direct interest early, the girl knows you're interested in her romantically/sexually.

B. Escalating the interaction.

So here's my admittedly incomplete list of ways to express this direct interest in a competent way (as opposed to telling a girl she's hot or has great tits).

1. Why I like you statements. These are compliments that are framed as being the main reason or a main reason for your interest in her.

2. Statements of intent. The grandfather of direct interest. There are some really interesting Old, old, old school (like 2001) posts by a guy named Neo-Rio on ASF about SOIs solid stuff. I've also talked about them extensively on the Seduction Roadmap. SOIs are exactly what they sound like you give the girl a statement of what you are going to try to do.

3. Making plans/Asking her out. This is where normal guys do it right. Asking a girl out early ( as long as you don't get her phone # and leave in 3 mins) is a good way to demonstrate that you want to see her again and you're interested in dating her.

4. Relationship ?s. This is a technique I created after watching Captain Jack. Relationship questions like "Are you the jealous type" serve to frame the interaction in a romantic context. You would never ask a girl if she was he jealous type of girl unless you were considering her for a relationship and thus interest is very subtly expressed.

5. Assuming/Talking about a relationship. When you assume a relationship (even in a jokey role-playing way) you are expressing interest.

So those are 5 ways I came up with sitting around last night.

If you have any others leave them in the comments and I'll re-visit this topic sometime soon.

JS- The King Of Content

Response To A Great Comment

I usually don't pay much attention to the comments on this blog, I skim them to see if it's more of a " How Do I attract girls" overly simplified question that I have 100% answered in a million blog posts/products/talks or if it's more in the vein of the " I hope you die, cause you suck so much I take time out of my day to read your blog." variety.

Either way as Jim Rome used to say More of me and less of your comments makes for a better blog.

But there was an exception a few days ago on my long rambling diatribe about hitting on girls by a commenter named Mike.

Mike actually had a specific question and was able to actually think through the problem himself and present some different ideas about what might be happening (Hint if you want my advice be more specific, rather than asking how to pick up hot girls)

Mike's comment was as follows:

Thanks for the post!

One thing was unclear to me, can someone help me here: what are good and bad responses after you hitting on her = a statement of intent?
my guess is below - please correct / expand:

good reaction:
- her being happy for the statement like smiling
- her testing you (eg 'do you say this to all girls?'

bad reaction:
- trying to brush your statement off ('don't say such silly thing')
- her making effort making conversation non-sexual / business-like (?)
- mentioning her boyfriend?
- ignore? - if she smiles this is not ignore, is it.
- her looking uncomfortable
- her going away / ending conversation

Pretty much right on, but I will add a few things.

When you hit on girls no response is a good response. This is what I call passive acceptance, and it's a major factor in escalation. Most of the time girls will not react to escalation beyond laughing or smiling, so no reaction is a good reaction.

As for the bad responses, you pretty much nailed it, except obviously her ignoring the statement could be a good sign. Everything else is pretty right on.

The truth is it's NOT that hard to figure it out. The reason guys think they have trouble is because they want to ignore reality. They want the dream, that even tho the girl is obviously not interested and giving them a bad reaction that they are somehow just misreading the situation when usually the girl is simply not into you.

Hope that helps Mike and everyone else,

JS- The King Of Content

Creating and Passing Women's Tests

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You're Leading her to a decision Not a yes....

This is one of the key realizations you need to make in order to actually start having success with women.

Your goal is not to lead a girl to a yes, necessarily but rather to lead her to make a decision about whether or not she wants you to hit on her.

If a girl won't let you hit on her or accept it, you're shit out of luck for turning that into anything romantic or sexual.

So the way to think about opening, social comfort, and attraction is that the goal is to lead her to a decision about whether or not she's interested in being hit on before you start to qualify her, as there is no point in trying to qualify a girl who isn't interested in you hitting on her.

How do you do this?

With what I'm tentatively calling direct interest. Direct interest is basically telling the girl you like her without qualifying WHY you like her as you will do in qualification. With direct interest you're tipping your cap and letting her know you like her by hitting on her.

The girl will either accept this or reject it at which point you can either qualify or move on.

JS- The King Of Content

Some thoughts on hitting on girls...

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I swear I have a disease....

I HAVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



JS

An interesting thought on delivery from Jerry Seinfeld

Hey there,

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Mine was tarnished sightly by the Pats losing the Super Bowl but not as badly as you might think as I was convinced they would lose going in, so no biggie.

I wanted to share a quick thought on something I heard over the weekend.

There's this awesome new show on HBO called Inside Comedy or something like that hosted by David Steinberg. Their first show was about Don Rickles and Jerry Seinfeld and they had interviews with both which were pretty interesting.

The thing that stood out to me the most was when Seinfeld and Steinberg were talking about new material and how audiences can sniff it out when Seinfeld said he had a piece of material that always killed but he hated it as a joke, and one night he was about to do it but in his head he was debating and he finally decided to do it because it always got a good reaction, but this time it fell flat because even thinking about it falling flat made it so. He went on to say he was sure he delivered it the right way as well.

I thought this was interesting because I've seen the same thing with pieces of pick up material. I don't think it's any sort of "The Secret" type law of attraction BS but I do think that when you hesitate even mentally people pick up on it through microexpressions or body language or something we all tend to give away our true emotions even if we think we're masking it with good delivery.

So that's an interesting thought for the day.

JS

Re-Examining Pick-Up Dogma: Cocky and Funny

Welcome back to the always educational and entertaining re-examining pick-up dogma series, in today's article I want to talk about being cocky and funny.

Unlike most pick up dogma problems, this one has a clear patient x, and his name is David Deangelo(or Eben Pagen or something). David D started talking about being "cocky and funny" to Cliff of the old Cliffs List back in the early 2000s under the name sisonpyh (or hypnosis backwards) after he had been working with Ross Jeffries and they had a falling out (rumors abounded because RJ touched his girlfriend at the time,but who really knows?) sisonpyh appeared and "cocky and funny" was born.

Now to be clear I'm not evaluating the entire "Double Your Dating" methodology (which consista of getting email addresses like a retard) instead I'm focusing strictly on the idea of being "cocky and funny" which is a GREAT idea for attraction.

In fact it's one of the better frames for attraction period.

But there are some problems which I'll outline in a meandering Peter King style list with mismatched numbers and letters.

1. The Application being taught is terrible. C&F is taught as not answering questions, or giving a woman a straight answer, making fun of women instead of teasing them and a host of other terrible applications. C&F is a frame meaning that it governs behavior in an interaction. OVERALL you want to be cocky and funny in the attraction phase by joking about being awesome and making the woman laugh by being funny.

2. Not everyone can be funny. Sorry I had to say it but I keep it 100. Some people are funny, most people aren't. But luckily the funny part can be changed to playful and everyone can be playful. Playful is about being silly, and childish. But most importantly it's about not taking yourself, the woman or the interaction too seriously, you do that while being 'cocky' and you're doing pretty good.

3. Guys overdo it. C&F is good and it can get a great reaction especially early on, which can be a problem. Guys see that 1 c&f line worked well so they figure 50 must work incredibly. WRONG. Think of c&f as a seasoning like salt. Everyone loves salt, but no one would like it if you dumped a can of it on their food. 1 or 2 C&F comments in the first 20 minutes are MORE than enough.

4. Looking evasive. If a girl asks you a question once and you avoid answering it she'll laugh, but she'll also ask again and at some point you start to look evasive and shady because you're not telling her anything about yourself. It also violates the law of reciprocity.

5. David D is a dork. Unfortunately David D was a dork who didn't really get hot chicks (see my post on his wedding, do a search I'm too lazy to link) so he made up a bunch of overly harsh teases that would NEVER work in the real world my favorite being " That's a nice dress, you buy that new?" These are insults. Insulting women NEVER works write that down.

Anyway in conclusion Cocky and Funny is a great frame for attraction but you can't generate and keep attraction strictly by being cocky and funny, nor is it a complete system for attracting or seducing women.

Boom tho.

JS- The King Of Content

Real Quick Post today as I just wanted to share something I've been teaching in an advanced training class that will be helpful to some of you blog readers who are a little bit better with women.

Social Status Matters, NO ONE DENIES THIS! But unfortunately your overall social status may be much higher than your social status in the environment you're trying to pick a girl up in.

That's where this status equation comes into play, you're status in ANY Pick-up is extremely formulaic and easy to figure out/manipulate.

The Status Equation

Your status = Framing + Social Proof.

So let's break this down.

By now you should all have a basic understanding of how to frame yourself as high status (Hint it's called Attraction), there are more advanced ways of course like Name-dropping, Inside language, Correct Bragging and more. But this is a short blog post so what ya need to know is that you frame yourself through your words and actions as either high-medium-low status.

The other part is social proof or more importantly how people are reacting to you. Are people treating you like you're important? Do you know people in the environment? Etc...

Now these two can contradict and even out but combined they equal your status in any given interaction.

Kinda high level to think about in field, but interesting.

JS

Incentive and Emotions

I watched the Freakonomics movie the other day and it got me thinking about incentives. But more than incentives it got me thinking about how in any situation in which you are trying to persuade someone there are incentives but also emotions.

An incentive is a reason, reward or benefit someone gets from taking an action or making a decision. An example of an incentive being used in pick-up is the idea of bottle service. If you have a table and bottles of alcohol women are incentivized to talk to you, or go back to your table by the idea of free alcohol and or being around guys with $$$

But with all due respect to Steven Levitt, the incentive model ignores emotions and how emotions can affect decision making.

If we were all rational like economists predict based on market models than all it would take to motivate any group of people would be the proper incentive. But as we even see in the Freakonomics sometimes incentives fall by the wayside.

In the movie there is a short part where they follow an attempt to incentivize high school freshmen into raising their grades by offering them a small amount of money around $50. They follow two kids one of whom does raise his grades the other falls prey to peer pressure.

The peer pressure in this case is the emotional incentive. In this kid's case, it's more important and valuable to hang out with his friends and skateboard then it is to get that $50. Now obviously if the incentive were higher, he may have been more diligent, but that makes an entirely different point about price point behaviors which is less interesting. The point here was that when faced with a financial incentive or an emotional incentive 50% of the kids went with the emotion. Which basically backs up one of my favorite things I say which is this:

ALL PEOPLE MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS THEN USE LOGIC TO BACK THEM UP AFTER THE FACT!

So how does this relate to pick-up?

Pretty easily. Incentives do matter, so being able to demonstrate how awesome you are and how much a girl will benefit from being around you does matter. But it only matters as much not more than the emotion a girl gets from being around you. You can't just cover one side of the coin and hope to be successful.

Hope that helps,

JS

Why can't movers or cable companies be on time ever?

I feel as though this is a pretty simple task.

You say you're going to show up between 1-6 (an outrageous 5 hour time window) then show up somewhere in that time window.

Don't call me to squeeze me in at 12:30 because I will be getting Subway and the whole thing will become a mess.

Also I'm sure I have written this before but ALL cable/internet service providers are the worst. There literally is not one good one and I have tried them all from Time Warner to DirectTV and even some company that only exists in Miami. They all suck. Balls.

This time in bad cable guy service we were told they were coming between 1-6 (note the standard time window) and that they would call us 30 mins before they got here.

We never got a call until they had already left because we weren't there. Why weren't we there? Because it was 12:00 and our appt time (which they gave us) wasn't til 1. Then to add insult to injury, they told us they couldn't reschedule us until next Monday.

Then I yelled and was a bad customer and we got cable installed yesterday, with only minor inconvenience/incompetence.

Which brings me to my final point I want to make to big corporations: Stop rewarding people for bad behavior. In most companies that deal with the public (cell phones, hotels, cable) the only way to get them to help you is to be an asshole and make a big fuss. When you do that you get rewarded with money off your cell phone bill, room upgrades or sooner appointments.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucked up system that basically guarantees an adversarial relationship with customers?

What's worse is that the reason companies do this is to save money and time. They want to spend as little time as possible on each customer under the assumption that most people will just go along with shitty stuff because it's easier than making a stink which ironically is how you get what you want.

Anyway i'm just venting now, but I do think there's some point to the idea that all customer service industries need to reform their policies and practices to make things better for people who don't make a big deal out of things.

JS

I'm Moving

Yo,

I'm moving over the next couple of days so updates will be sporadic.

But next week I want to have a special theme week with assignments and stuff for you all for free.

So check back over the next few days to hear annoying moving stories when I periodically have internet.

Talk soon,

JS

The Dennis System

The real way to pick up girls :)




And yes I am having Always Sunny withdrawal...

JS

FACT: Women Make you Stupid(er)

Yo yo,

I was surfing the depths of the interweb yesterday and found a link to a pretty awesome article that confirms something I have been thinking for a long time.

The act of merely mentioning a woman's name makes men perform worse on standardized tests. That's right just the mere mention let alone real life interaction.

Is it any wonder cold approach can sometimes feel like the hardest thing on Earth? I think not.

The article as a whole is worth a read, and you can check it and the study out:

Here

Word.

JS

Microexpressions and pickup

Hey there,

I have been a busy busy beaver and also a sick beaver but that's another story hence no blogging for a long time.

My bad.

In the meantime I have also been studying new things that affect game hooray!

The main thing has been the work of Dr Paul Ekman. Mostly focused on emotions and facial expressions. I highly recommend checking out his website Paulekman.com

though if you don't feel like doing that I will summarize everything and tell you how to apply it to game just because I am such a nice guy :) Or I just like to hear myself talk even if it's blog form your choice.

Dr Ekman studied a ton of different cultures including ones that had no access to the media and discovered that there are 7 different kinds of UNIVERSAL facial expressions. That means no matter who you are,you express anger, fear, surprise, disgust, sadness, happiness/enjoyment, and contempt.

SO that's the good news, the bad news is that most people don't recognize these well and that people can engage in facial deceit (GASP!!!) and conceal their intentions.

The other good news is the existence of what Dr Ekman calls "microexpressions" these are 1/25-1/5 of a second flashes of emotion that EVERYONE has that you can't conceal without extensive(like juillard trained actor type) training.

So what happens when you approach a woman is she's going to flash a microexpression. Now in a dark nightclub while sipping on some syzurp it's difficult to see these tiny flashes, but in Day game this is a game changer. With a little education, ( I recommend the SETT and METT programs (which I did both of and got score of 80% METT and 96% SETT on Ekman's site, or if you want to save some money the book "Unmasking the face" by Ekman and Dr Wallace Friedson is like $8 at any bookstore.) you can learn to identify these and know EXACTLY what the girl is feeling on most approaches. It's LITERALLY like reading her mind in the first 2-3 seconds.

So far since I've studied this stuff I've seen a micro flash on EVERY single approach I've done ranging from happy(Going out with her this week) to disgust (a blowout shockingly). But mostly girls are surprised (especially on direct when it's like 90%) which is great feedback to my advice that you need to take a step back and let the girl adjust when doing direct day game so go me!

Another place where microexpressions are super useful is in physical escalation. If you watch the girls face as you escalate, you will see a flash. This is almost freakishly consistent as well, and again gives you a great bit of information for calibration. And yes, for the record all of my escalations have gotten happy flashes.

So to summarize, Dr Ekman's work is really interesting and will help you with calibration no matter where you are. The most effective piece for pickup is microexpression which are most useful in opening (day game) and in escalating where reading the girls microexpression will give you an almost 100% accurate idea of what she is thinking.

Hope that helps,

JS- The king of content

The Sky is Not Falling Again: On The Possibility of A Game Movie

The only Game movie that should get made is an in-depth look at all of Neil Strauss' various lies, embellishments and blowharding.

Instead it looks like MAYBE a movie will be made next year and already people are writing stupid posts about it and worrying that the world of talking to girls is coming to an end.

Fact: No one cares about the seduction community. The book did the rounds in 2005 and for a few months you might have had a girl or two ask about opinion openers other than that the result of all of Neil's publicity was nada.

Fact: LOTS of movies get bought and optioned and yet don't end up as major releases. Chances are (I know statistics and probabilities are hard for your brain) the movie won't even end up happening. I personally have a friend who wrote and sold a movie in 06 they have been trying to cast for 5 years and supposedly that is coming out this year.

Possible Fact: No one actually teaches the same shit from 2005 right??? I mean I know I don't and I'd be shocked if anyone other than Mystery was still teaching negs etc...

So seriously don't worry about it. Instead worry about getting out there and talking to women rather than finding ANY excuse under the sun not to which is what all of you talking about this movie are doing.

LOSERS.

JS

Reasonable VS Unreasonable Goals

This is sort of a New Year's post, call it semi-New Yearish...

I go back and forth a lot between whether I think it's good for guys to set reasonable or unreasonable goals.

The basic discussion comes down to this:

With reasonable goals you are MUCH MUCH more likely to achieve and therefore feel better about yourself and improve your life.

With unreasonable goals you have a MUCH MUCH MUCH worse chance of achieving these goals, however they may help you to reach higher than you would have with more reasonable goals.

So what's a guy to do?

Personally I only set realistic goals at this point of my life. It's fun to sit around and think of all these amazing situations but IME you just end getting pissed off because you won't be able to achieve the goal easily and most people (myself included) don't have the perseverance necessary to keep going through failure after failure after failure.

So my final official take is this:

If you're going to set goals, be realistic. It is not relaistic to think you will go from NEVER talking to girls to getting 4 Same Night Lays a month in 3 months. It is not realistic to expect yourself to be trying to get laid during your first few approaches etc.

The more realistic your goals are the higher the chances that you will make actual progress towards them and improve your life. Unrealistic goals have another name I like to call them; fantasies.

JS

It's been awhile...

I'm not dead.

Just been lazy and busy with other crap over the holidays.

But I'm back now and looking forward to doing a lot of posting 2012.

But first I need to go finish this week's Sexual Triggers video and work on a couple of other projects. And I should really go to the gym.

I'll post another re-visiting article sometime this week and content will return to normal starting tomor.

Hope everyone had a good NYE.

JS

On Demonstrating Value Part 2: It's Not a video game!

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

"You Already Know What I'm About"- On Managing Expectations

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

Re-visiting Pick-Up Dogma Part 2: On Demonstrating value

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

Maxxing Out Your Look

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

Maximizing Yourself Out

Lately I've been really inerested in the idea of a guy maxxing himself out or maximizing his lifestyle, skillset, and inner psych.

Most people are not going to max out with a supermodel, a Ferrari and a life of lounging on the beach, but it's a much better goal to aim for than the ones usually pushed on guys by the SUISC.

So how does one max out?

First you have to take an honest (and you'd be SHOCKED by how many guys lie to me while asking for help) look at where you are.

You start with the physical, are you worse looking than you could be? Then you look at your living situation, your job, friends, social life etc...

The point is it's a long process but it's the only way to see real long term change and to actually reach your potential.

Plus most guys (myself included) are nowhere near where they could be with a little effort.

JS

About Captain Jack

Hey there,

I know I've been getting some ?s about CJ and you're all quite persistent so here goes:

CJ is cool, he's working really hard right now doing the marketing for a multimillion dollar company, that's going through a huge growth phase right now.

His website is down because of some mix up with the hosting company. So even though he still owns Betheseducer.com they won't restore his content. Sucks right?

Other than that he seems to be in good spirits and has been focusing on meditation and spirituality as well as cleaning up his health and stuff.

He didn't seem to be going out much the last time we talked which was probably a month or so ago.

So there ya go,

JS

This Blog Is For Guys Who Are Bad With Women

I've been getting a rash of comments over the last few weeks giving super simplified advice as a juxtaposition to what I'm writing.

What these assclowns don't understand is that the advice "Just fuck her" is not particularly useful for the guys who read this blog.

Guys who read this blog generally are more hard cases (as I was and as EVERYONE who googles pickup advice etc is).

Sooo when you MR armchair pickup guru give advice that I'm sure works for you and your jabronie friends (as you must be so completely overwhelmed with pussy that you have time to comment on blogs designed to help you get laid more) it is annoying and frustrating for guys who are the actual target audience I'm writing to.

The guys I write this blog for need help and date ideas, and conversational topics and overviews of how to talk to women. Otherwise they wouldn't be coming here to read my 1100 and something post over the last 6 years. And those guys are the reason I still write this blog even when it seems as though I've exhausted every way to talk about pickup in writing...

If you want to brag about how awesome you are be a condescending prick, you can do it somewhere else as I will now be blocking those comments. All comments telling me I suck and should die of a horrible disease will still be allowed as those make me LOL.

Good talk,

JS

Good Date Spot-Theme Parks

I went to Magic Mountain yesterday and it is a surprisingly good place to take a date(other than the glaring need for alcohol).

Most theme parks are btw $ 30-40 a person and can be fun for 4-6 hours easy. So it's not WAY more expensive than going out for a few drinks in a city like LA, NY or Vegas.

Plus it's a lot of fun, gets the heart going, and gives PLENTY of opportunity for built in conversation. I definitely am going to start taking more dates there.

Word.

JS

End Of The Year Already...

Man every year goes by faster and faster...

Now is as good a time as ever to look back over your goals for dating over the last year and how close you came to achieving them.

And if you didn't it's a good time to start planning for next year, as nightlife will take a down turn after this Wed until New Year's Eve with the holiday/boyfriend season in full swing.

JS

The 1% fantasy and how it's ruining your life

How many people do you think are actually millionaires in the US? Not millionaire on paper.

How many people are famous?

How many guys sleep with more than 1 new girl a week?

Hint it's a really low percentage of people...

Like 1% of 1% of the population.

The point is that any of these goals (which 90% of people reading this have in one form or another) are going to be REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard to accomplish.

Is it possible?

Sure but 99% of you are not going to be willing to put in the time effort or energy needed to have a chance of success.

And 99% of the ones of you who do put in the time effort and energy are still NOT going to make it due to luck, health, bad breaks, or changes in priorities.

Now that I've suitably depressed you, let's talk about the good part of this news.

The good part is that NONE of you actually want these fantasies. What you want is the feeling that the fantasy would allow you to have.

You want to make 10 Million dollars? Why? What would change in your life if you had 10 mil right now? Besides the superficial, you'll probably find something like "I would be less stressed about security and able to focus on what I like doing."

You want to sleep with 100 girls? Why? What would that do for you? Would it make you feel cooler? Would it make you feel like a success with women. What would it do for you?

And more importantly when you ask yourself these questions, is there something you could be doing right now, that would give you the same or similar feelings?

Chances are there is, people don't do things for the surface reasons. People who want to be famous have their reasons for it usually having to do with needing to prove their value to people, people who want to sleep around a lot are looking for something as well. Even guys who want to get girlfriends are looking for some emotional fix....

So the solution is 2 fold:

1. Let go of the 1% of 1% fantasy. Just give it up, we are all the rule not the exception.

2. Figure out what you were actually trying to get emotionally from that 1% fantasy and see if there is a more realistic healthy and sustainable way to achieve it.

That is all.

JS

I'm Not Saving The World

Hey there,

I was gone the last two weeks first to a positivity nazi conference where I was officially the most hated on man in the world, and then recovering for a week where I mostly over-ate and smoked a lot of pot.

But now I'm back, and I wanted to talk about something I've been thinking about since I heard another "guru" talking about how he was changing the world one guy at a time or some other such super lame oversimplification of what we do in the SUISC.

It's also at this point in the listening that I feel like yelling at the speaker like Mark Wahlberg in "The Departed"

" Do you know what we do here?"

" No you don't, if you knew what we do here we would not be good at our job. We would be pricks. You calling us pricks?"

But I digress.

I am not saving the world by teaching guys how to get better at sleeping with chicks.

You can use slippery slope logic or tell me all about the 1 guy who really needs this stuff or he's going to kill himself all you want.

The truth is still the truth. And the truth is it's kinda weird to teach guys how to pick up chicks. You can spin it all you want and engage in self deception to make yourself(the "guru") feel better about it the same way other guys who are good with gilrs justify cheating on their GFs. The human mind is amazingly good at convincing us that what we want to do is OK.

This is the truth:

This is NOT a Men's movement.

This is NOT making the world a better place.

This is NOT one day going to be taught in colleges.

This is not some secret knowledge that will change the world once made public.

You are NOT necessarily a better more whole person just because you can get laid consistently.

And NOT all men are interested in learning this stuff.

These are the facts, not some grand delusion I come up with to make myself feel better so I can go to sleep at night.

I know my stuff works and it does what I say it will do.

No more, no less.

If you want to learn how to get better at sleeping with girls I'm your guy.

If you want some sort of guru type who is going to take you by the hand and tell you about how great pickup is and how it's changing the world,and how you're special because you know about it, you should probably find someone else.

Just keeping it 100.

JS-The King Of Content

HappY Halloween!

It's officially Halloween today!

I've had an awesome Halloween weekend but I just realized that we've been having a massive Halloween sale for our email list subscribers that I haven't shared with you blog readers... YET

It's a great deal with almost all of our products at a huge discount to help you get out there and meet the girl of your dreams TONIGHT.

Check it out Here:

SALE

Word

JS

Today In Fuck You: People who tell you how in love they are two weeks after they start dating.

This is a particularly relevant topic here, as guys who teach pick up are the # 1 offenders of this particular brand of douchbaggery.

I HATE it when someone (guy, girl, whatever) goes on and on about how they're so in love with this new person they're dating, when they've only been dating a few weeks, and or are not yet in a serious BF/GF relationship.

Seriously you need to stop, before I lose my shit and start mocking you for being the naive and emotionally needy loser you are.

First of all, no one else cares! I don't give a shit. I mean of all the things in the world whether or not you're insanely happy with your new BF/GF whatever really doesn't matter. And I don't think I'm speaking for just me, when I say there are roughly 9,876,142 things I care about more than the status of your 2 week old relationship.

Secondly for whatever reasons ( Probably because I'm friends with community guys and players) the same guys who spend 74 hours yakkking my ear off about how in love they are, cheat on these same girls like a month later.

If you cheat on a girl you spent over an hour telling me you were in in love with, I should be allowed a free hour of wasting your time talking about the subject of my choice which will be "Chardee Mcdennis: The Game Of Games."

Lastly lest someone think this is some sort of rant against being in love or being happy in your relationship, it's not. I think it's fine to be in love and in a relationship. But that doesn't happen in 2 weeks. The same way they advise couples not to tell people they're pregnant for the first few months in case something happens. My problem is specifically with the people who spend an inordinate amount of time talking to others (namely me) about how they're sooo in love and happy in their relationship, when the relationship just started last Tuesday, or they are clearly not in a serious relationship and just want attention or something to talk about.

To those people I say : FUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

To everyone else have a great Halloween weekend.

JS

Re-Visiting Pick-up Dogma Part 1: Being non-reactive

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

Goal Hijacking

This article is now available on my new site.

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The Counter Productives

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.