Friday, February 27, 2009

Save The Date!

Hey guys,

Next Thursday, March 5 at 5:00 p.m. PST (8:00 p.m. EST) I’m going to do a special one-time only tele-seminar on designing your ultimate lifestyle in 2009.

I’ll be releasing a lot more details about this next week. But for now, mark down Thursday, March 5 on your calendar. You’re not gonna want to miss this!



Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lifestyle Part 2: Lifestyle Design

Hey guys,

I just wrapped the final filming for Day Game. I'm gonna celebrate not having to get up at 8 AM everyday by getting RIDICULOUSLY drunk tonight.

But before I do that, I wanted to follow up on the article I wrote a few weeks back on Lifestyle:

In it I mentioned the three keys to mastering your lifestyle.

They were:

1. Lifestyle Design
2. The People You Know.
3. The Places You Go

Today I want to talk about Lifestyle Design. That is the process of shaping the way you want to live.

If you want to be going out 7 nights a week with 7 different women, you can. If you want to NEVER go out at night and date 3-4 college students a week, you can.

That's the first part of Lifestyle Design:

Figuring out what the F$*k you want.

I would say 99% of guys who take workshops don't have an answer for the following question:

What do you want your dating life to look like?

You can actually live any type of life you want involving women, you just have to plan it before you try to build it.

Guys with ridiculous lifestyles like Scotty (of didn't end up with them by accident. In fact Scotty even toured simply to PARTY with the Rolling Stones. That kind of life doesn't happen by mistake.

So figure out what you want. I just did this, I decided I wanted to get into something that let me express myself and my feelings for women in a different way. So I'm actually moving to a city for the next three months to do a photography apprenticeship with a friend of mine who does high fashion photography. I'll also as a side benefit of this get to spend a lot of time with models.

Here's a good exercise:

Create a picture of your ideal day:

Set aside 15 minutes and write nonstop about your IDEAL day.

Start with when you wake up.

Where are you? Who is with you? How do you feel?

What do you eat?

What do you do next? After that? Then What?

Who do you hang out with?

How does it end?

Don't stop writing for 15 minutes.

Then go through it and identify what YOU can do to one day have that day.

If you guys want to publicly commit to achieving an ideal Lifestyle, post your "Ideal" day in the comments below.

The second Key to designing your lifestyle is:

Escaping The Comfort Zone.

The Comfort Zone is your worst enemy when it comes to designing a lifestyle.

Most people are EXTREMELY uncomfortable when they are taken out of environments they're familiar with. When I left LA for Dallas, it was scary, it's scary right now as I'm in flux between lives, but it also makes for a WAY more interesting life! Plus, much like in relationships, if you're not happy with the way/place you're living it's probably not going to change much without YOU changing it.

And change can and often is difficult. Deal with it! You're not owed everything you want. It would be nice if everyone got handed everything we wanted. Unfortunately it's not reality.

Refuse to be a victim of your circumstances. Change Something, or if you really need to change EVERYTHING.

The last part of Lifestyle Design involves Timelines.

Timelines are what let you know how hard to work on each goal of your ideal lifestyle. If you want to be a self employed millionaire, it's not going to happen overnight. But it can happen in 5-6 years if you're talented and hard working. However if you want to be a self made millionaire, quickly, you're going to have to work a lot. So if you're other goal is to have 3-4 SNLs a month, those are gonna be difficult to reconcile.

Overall you want to strive for balance in your timelines, if right now you're super focused on getting finished with College, figure out how much work it would be to get done in the timeframe you want to be done by and put aside that time first.

You always want to number your goals and timelines by importance.

I generally recommend you set 3 Timelines for your lifestyle:

One 3 months from now: This can be something as simple as meeting and befriending the promotors at all the clubs you go to.

Then a 6 month goal: This one should be more intermediate such as getting 1 date a week from Day game if you want to avoid Night Game completely.

Then a 1 year goal: This one should be halfway to your ideal Lifestyle. Something like sleep with 2-3 girls a month from a brand new social circle of Hooters waitresses. Or something else if you don't like Hooters waitresses :)

Next post I'll be breaking down how to deal with the next part of Lifestyle Design: The People You Know. I really learned a ton about this recently from Scotty. So look for that pretty soon.


New Podcast Link by someone who is not a tech retard like me :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Podcast # 2 Is Up!

Cameron Teone stops by and we douche out A LOT of people....

It's hilarious!


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Like The Girl, Loathe the City

In a flashback to 2006, I have become stranded in Los Angeles due to a variety of business stuff…

But that’s not what I’m writing about here… I met a girl I REALLY like. In fact I even texted Erika that I was going on a date with her last night where I know I have ZERO chances of sleeping with her last night. She’s a Pilates instructor and had to teach a 5 AM class.

And yes she is a 5’1 redhead with D cups and freckles. She’s also from New York….

Now for the fucked up part, I’m going to have sex with her this week, and then I’m going to leave this city hopefully forever…

So I’m stuck in a weird place right now, as I actually want way more than that with her.

Except there’s a laundry list of reasons it’s never gonna happen. It’d be really nice to fantasize about the two of us having some sort of future, but in reality, I’m in flux and just happened to meet someone I click with. It’s the right girl at the wrong time. In the past I would have taken this as a sign that these kinds of girls actually exist. But in the last year or so the quality of women I’ve dated has been so high that it actually just annoys me right now.

In fact, I haven’t even really gamed her, I don’t want to undermine our natural chemistry which is making it as on as anything I could consciously do.

The idea of clicking with someone is what my game is based on now… I have neither the time nor inclination to plow or waste my time with girls I don’t actually enjoy talking to. That’s something I really believe in and try to teach to guys in my programs, you don’t have to struggle to connect with hot girls you don’t actually get along with. There are enough beautiful women out there, that the real goal is chemistry and compatability. That’s what makes you “click” with someone.

So the only thing to do now is enjoy my time with her here, keep in touch with her when I come back in and out of LA for various conferences etc, and then hopefully keep her as an awesome friend down the line.

That and try to avoid how annoyingly awesome she is.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mehow and Sinn on 10 Second Sexual Attraction

Hey guys,

As I mentioned before Mehow and I recorded a SICK 30 something minute interview on 10 Second Sexual Attraction.

As many of you guys know I'm not the most tech savvy person so we just got it up.

Head over to to take a listen.

Then be sure to come check us out in person March 7th and 8th in Las Vegas for the 10SSA conference.

Talk to ya guys soon!


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Closing the chapter on Dallas....

Today I donated all my stuff to Salvation Army, I'm leaving Dallas and will be doing a quick stop over with a friend, before heading on the 12 Cities in 12 Months Tour...

I'm a mix of emotions...

I'm excited that I'm starting a new life, I'm sad, I'm leaving behind friends that are both known to you readers (Captain Jack, Shaft) and known only through field reports (Lindsay, Nakia, Caroline, Morgan, and Lorna). I really loved my time in Dallas, but it's no longer right for me. The same way that Barrie was right for me at 18, Annie was right for me at 20, Meggan was right for me for two weeks. Dallas was right from 22-24. I'll always look back fondly on my time here and the things I learned about myself while I was here.

I learned how to get better at SNLS that's for sure and for that I have to thank CJ. Learning from him was the original reason I moved here. over 100 SNLs later, I think I got that :)

I learned that I could still fall for a person who's completely WRONG for me. Twice :)

I learned that I could move halfway across the country only knowing 4 people and flourish.

I started my own business while I was here...

My neighborhood was papered by a group of my female fans...

I met and seduced girls across the metroplex from Downtown at Mantis, to Addison at Sherlocks.

I learned a lot about Texans, they're an interesting bunch of people. If you've never been to Texas, I highly recommend it. It's like nowhere else I've been, that's for sure.

And the food still sucks 2 years later.

I don't know if I'll ever come back to Dallas, not because I won't want to. But because I don't need to. I've been there, done that. I spent a major portion of my cigarette smoking, heavy drinking early 20s in Dallas and maybe that's all anyone needs to know :)

I'll miss everyone from Dallas who reads my blog. Some of you I'll see again, some I won't. And that's OK.



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Leave Them Better Than You Found Them?

I've seen this quote a ton of places around the community from those that it made some sense when they said it(Toecutter, Steven Nash etc), to Ross Jeffries.

But I was talking to Cameron the other day and I realized that most guys(myself included) don't leave the women they pick up better than they found them. Whether it's for lack of trying or caring, is another debate in and of itself...

The question I want to raise here is "How, do you leave a woman better than you found her?"

By what measure is she better?

Is she better because you pushed her to pursue a study, passion or purpose? I've seen Future do that, and it lends to reason that if done successfully and without other complications in the relationship(assuming an amicable breakup, etc..) that would leave a woman better off.

Allegedly, Hypnotica and Steve Piccus teach women some sort of undefined(to me) way of living at a higher plane, frequency, energy, (insert some words that Entropy and Erika would understand far better than I here)... Again assuming no bad endings etc... That could work too.

But how else?

Is it enough to give a woman a night she never forgets to leave her better off? If so then I've done that countless times...

So I guess the REAL question is...

What does it take to leave a woman better off than you found her?

An orgasm?

An erotic awakening?

A million dollars in settlement money?

A heartbreaking emotional experience she turns into art?

Where is the line and does it matter if she wouldn't agree with your assessment?


10 Second Sexual Attraction Gifts

Hey guys,

As you may know, I'll be speaking at Mehow's 10 SSA seminar March 7th-8th.

Mehow has been gracias enough to give me some gifts for you guys.

The first one is an audio clip detailing a bathroom pull... I think I actually ran into Mehow in Vegas the night this happened from the sound of the girl's voice...

The Second is a report on the differences between screening and non screening game. Screening game being where you look for logistics and interest first.

I actually really liked the Screening Report a lot. I'm supposed to get a copy of 10SSA this week, so I'll post my thoughts on it real soon...


Monday, February 16, 2009

Putting Savoy in his place :)

Showing a glutton for punishment mentality usually only seen in women who try to "save me", Savoy came into our version of the NBA's "paint" with a Mark Price circa 1991 layup of a response.

I am now going to administer the Hakeem Olajuwon in his prime rejection...

Savoy writes: The other day, I wrote the latest installment in my continuing series of Things Sinn Doesn't Know.

I would have thought that verbal annihilation would have made him run for cover. But no. With the same lack of any sort of judgment whatsoever that would have inspired Tennyson, Sinn picks himself up from a bottle of vodka and the redhead of the night to do battle.

Sinn: She was blonde... In an homage :)

Savoy: The first shocking conclusion is that Sinn likes cheaters. He points out the football teams that I support, neglecting to mention his favorite team, the New England "I can design fiendish complex defenses year after year but I 'misinterpreted the rules' even after I received a league memo specifically and clearly laying out the simple rule 'Don't videotape the other team's coaching signals' after other teams complained about me doing it" Belichecks.

A-Roid cheats, goes gangbusters all season, and then fails in the clutch. The New England Patriots cheated, went 16-0, and failed in the clutch.

Sinn: Here is the place where I would argue that EVERYONE tapes. Seriously check out ESPN classic sometime every other game a QB is explaining that he audibled because the other team knew his signs. I've seen both Favre and Montana talk about this on my own soon to be donated cause I'm moving TV.

But then Bellicheck walked off with one second left in the Super Bowl... Then Brady got injured, I've officially retired from being a Pats fan though I do still like Brady, Moss and Welker and want them to do well. I may be a Football atheist for awhile until Bellicheck leaves...

SAVOY: Yes, I know San Diego has its fair share of cheaters too. But we prefer our cheaters to either spend the year on Injured Reserve or get one of the biggest contracts in team history and produce nothing.

We don't go around cheating and having great seasons only to fail in the clutch. We cheat, have crappy seasons, slop into the playoffs because our division is weaker than a team of diabetic mice trying to restore the Mona Lisa, briefly rise to the occasion (provided we get to play Indianapolis) and then, and only then, do we fail in the clutch.

Big difference, Sinn.

Sinn: I do admire the fact that you robbed me of my mocking the chargers individually. But you forget I know about the Eagles... Though I'm sure you'll come back with something about my first screen name ( Daneighbrhoodpusha) or about the Minnesota Vikings :) Ha I freely admit to it. How about you Savoyre... Savoy, Nick Savoy.... You change names like I change my underwear. Or did when I still wore it :)

See Eagles fans are perpetually tortured by a leader(Donovan Mcnabb) who can only get so far before he completely deconstructs and vomits. This brings us back to A-Rod and his particular shortcomings. Fans in glass houses should not throw stones. Especially since if Mcnabb did more steroids and less Mcdonald's maybe he'd be able to play all 16 games one of these years without getting injured or benched.

Savoy: While A-Fraud was a great nickname to describe the guy's failure when it counts (maybe someone should have been telling him how much other teams wanted him), it skips over the part where he cheated and still failed. Fraud doesn't do it justice anymore. It's the milquetoast of insults. It's the O'Doul's of bar drinks. It's the I like you but it's my twin sister's engagement party tonight and I fly home tomorrow of blowoffs. It's not something you want to have, but it's not something that bothers you five minutes later either.

A-Roid cuts straight to the issue. It's the absinthe of shots. It's the "talk to you never" of rejections. It's what Sinn feels every time he loses a bet with me. You can wake up the next day, but you'll still feel it.

Sinn: First of all, I believe I'm on a two game winning streak not to mention my complete dominance in virtual drinking.

A fraud is not the " I like you but I'm at my twin sister..." It's the " You are short, fat and ugly, Please come to bed with me." Direct, to the point, offensive and all time classic to be placed by his name in quotes in every story leading up to home run 7 whatever breaks Bonds' tainted record. Feel free to place that quote's awesomeness into context for the readers :)

Savoy: To sum up -- A-Roid is clearly the superior moniker to the old A-Fraud. It's not just new, it's better. It's like Love Systems and Mystery Method, Magic Bullets and VAH, or "Sinn" and "Daneighborhoodpusher". I'll let Sinn explain that one. If he dares.

I just went there.

Sinn: Claiming that A-roid is better is like calling your 1989 Oldsmobile a "Classic." No one buys it or should. In fact the only thing more Idiotic would be cheering for a Basketball team during an era when they employed one Isiah Thomas...

Any Basketball rooting alligiances, you'd like to share Nick?

As Michael Scott said in the First "Office" after the SuperBowl "ROASTED"


Can Anyone convert the Podcast to a downloadable format Every week?

First off thanks to the anonymous poster who posted a downloadable link here:

Secondly if someone can do this weekly I'd be willing to work out some sorta trade or payment system...

Sinn at


First Episode of The Podcast is up!

Hey guys,

The first Episode is up...

I'm not revealing the name, until you guys listen to it!

Check it out there's some unsettling information about Johnny Soporno in there as well.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

Bang The Monkey To Get Captain Jack On My Podcast!!!

What's up guys,

I'm hungover. In other shocking news, the sun rose, and Matador is still a tool.

I was checking out the nearly overwhelming results from the poll of who you want to hear from, and it's none other than the Pirate King, and noted reclusive PUA Captain Jack.

So because CJ asked a question publicly about my dancefloor game and has written about how he used to get me dragged onto dance floors to have seizures...

I'm publicly encourgaing EVERYONE out there who wants to hear CJ on the Podcast to email him at CaptainJackPUA at Email him everyday until he agrees to come on the podcast and share some of his amazing new insights from Mass Sexual Framing. Email him 10 times a day if you have time. Don't know what to do to kill time in a club? Email him from your phone. Email him before you go to bed and after you wake up. We will annoy him into action!!!

I'll teach him to talk about my dancing!!!!


Friday, February 13, 2009

A-Fraud/A-Roid or Why Savoy is Wrong.

Savoy has launched an unprecedented verbal assault on me based on my preference for the term A-Fraud as opposed to A-Roid when discussing disgraced Baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez.

First of all Savoy's opinion should be rendered moot anyway, as while he knows much about meeting women and dating, he knows NOTHING about Sports. As exhibit A: I present his affection for both the Philadelphia Eagles and San Diego Chargers.

Secondly A-Rod is A Fraud. Literally. He is not a roid, though Savoy's opinions on Sports are often more irritating than Hemmoroids.

Here's Savoy's Arguments with my Comments:

Savoy:"A-Roid" just sounds worse (in a good way). You can say "A-Fraud" fast and it still sounds kind of cool. You might even think you're hearing "A-Rod". But when you're called A-Roid, you'll know people are making fun of you. And when you've made millions of dollars by cheating and lying, you deserve to be made fun of.

Sinn:A-Roid is harder to chant, I'm all for him being called A-hole as he was by The New York Post, but A-Fraud will be heard and he will cry. Like Savoy after this debate :)

Savoy:"A-Fraud" is also just's as yesterday as furry hats and Baja Men. It's the OLD insult about the guy's failure in the clutch. It's not about steroids. You don't just take something that about one thing and then say...hey, it's about something else. Remember when Elton John pretended that "Candle in the Wind" was about Princess Di when it was originally about Marilyn Monroe? Lame.

Sinn: A-Fraud is like 65 Mustangs, Marilyn Monroe, and Frank Sinatra. It's a classic that never goes out of style. It could pertain to A-fraud's play in the clutch, to his possible affinity for Tranny Strippers, to his Steroid use. It's the Swiss Army Knife of insults. A-roid only relates to Steroids or Hemmroids. Which I hope A-Rod gets.

Savoy:If we let Sinn, and all the Sinns of this world, get away with this, then civilization itself is threatened.

Sinn: I disagree, me ruling the world would be the best thing for EVERYONE :) Except Matador...

Savoy:Think about it. If we decide that, say, any TV exec who puts episodes of the cringe-out-loud 1990s "comedy" Home Improvement into syndication should be punished by exile to a desert island (why this hasn't been done yet is beyond me), and we then find out that one of these execs also cheated on his taxes, what do we do? We wouldn't say "go to a desert island". The dude's already there. He's already being punished. We need a new punishment for him. (reading the tax code while watching endless reruns of home improvement sounds like a fitting punishment)

So with A-Rod...he's already got his A-Fraud. He's earned it by turning his bat into a wet noodle every October. He needs a NEW nickname to allow us to laugh specifically about his cheating. And that of course is A-Roid.

Sinn: I feel A-roid is a fad, it's like "new" Coke or Any TV show starring a member of The Seinfeld cast...

Savoy: Though I will meet Sinn halfway....if we're going to make fun of the fact that A-Rod not only sucks in crunch time, but he sucks even though he's cheating, then we can combine the two and call him (on those occasions only) A-Froid. Which has a nice symmetry to it, since "froid" means "cold" in French, and that's what Alex Rodriguez is every time it matter what we call him.

Sinn: I actually kinda like A-Froid, but for the sake of battle and proving my Sports superiority for real! I reject this compromise and score this round Sinn:10-Savoy: 8. I've opened up a cut and will be looking to end the fight early :)

You can check out my column on A-Rod and steroids from earlier this week at


Lifestyle: Part 1 How the hell can Lifestyle get me laid?

Hey guys,

It's finally Friday, that means way more girls will be out tonight, and everyone will be looking to decompress and start the weekend.

I want to start the weekend right, by talking to you about one of the overlooked aspects of your game. Lifestyle.

In my model of game, there are 3 parts. The first is Inner Psychology, this is about dealing with your insecurities, your view on the world, values, standards and expectations of yourself, women, and the world. Then there is Skillsets. This is things like learning to start a conversation, learning to tease, learning to physically escalate, learning to tell stories, etc... Finally you have lifestyle and here's where the confusion lays...

What the hell is your lifestyle?

Let's ask Wikipedia:

Lifestyle was originally coined by Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler in 1929. The current broader sense of the word dates from 1961.[1]

In sociology, a lifestyle is the way a person lives. A lifestyle is a characteristic bundle of behaviors that makes sense to both others and oneself in a given time and place, including social relations, consumption, entertainment, and dress. The behaviors and practices within lifestyles are a mixture of habits, conventional ways of doing things, and reasoned actions. A lifestyle typically also reflects an individual's attitudes, values or worldview. Therefore, a lifestyle is a means of forging a sense of self and to create cultural symbols that resonate with personal identity. Not all aspects of a lifestyle are entirely voluntaristic. Surrounding social and technical systems can constrain the lifestyle choices available to the individual and the symbols she/he is able to project to others and the self.[2]

The lines between personal identity and the everyday doings that signal a particular lifestyle become blurred in modern society.[3] For example, "green lifestyle" means holding beliefs and engaging in activities that consume fewer resources and produce less harmful waste (i.e. a smaller carbon footprint), and deriving a sense of self from holding these beliefs and engaging in these activities. Some commentators argue that, in Modernity, the cornerstone of lifestyle construction is consumption behavior, which offers the possibility to create and further individualize the self with different products or services that signal different ways of life.[4]

So the basic idea of a Lifestyle is the expression of an individual's worldview, attitudes, and identity...

This is now starting to make a little more sense, no?

If the way you live is a representation of your attitudes and identity as a person, what does it say if you work at a job you hate, have had the same friends of similar jobs and personality types, and spend most of your time surfing the internet or playing video games?

I always ask students on bootcamp, which of the 3 elements of Game, they think will give them the best results in terms of getting laid?

If you guessed Lifestyle you guessed correct. A lot of students I get have actually mastered Lifestyle game in some form.

Printer became the king of a small college town because he threw the best boat parties around.

Scotty of is sooo overwhelmed with the amount of girls his lifestyle brings him, he literally doesn't have time to cold approach.

Eric from Miami actually missed a night of bootcamp because his friends had set him up with a SUPERmodel.

So how does Lifestyle get you laid?

Here's how, you can shape your Lifestyle in such a way that it cannot help but put you in the path of beautiful women.

Any interest, hobby or activity you enjoy can be used to meet women.

If you like exercise, you can join a Yoga class, and then start inivting people from there to join you for a coffee afterwards or organize outdoor Yoga on the weekends...

If you like partying, you can become a low level promoter and gain access to free tables, bottle service and club girls.

If you like taking pictures you can put out ads offering free head shots for "models".

There are a million ways to use your life to bring women into it.

It breaks down into 3 parts.

1. Lifestyle Design
2. The Places You Go.
3. The People You Know.

And I'll be back to break down those three parts in depth very soon...

Stay Tuned,


P.S I'll be giving some more tips on Lifestyle in the first episode of the "Still Unnamed" Podcast. Monday.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Name my Podcast...

Hey guys,

I'm going to be starting a weekly podcast and I need a name!

If you think you have one post it in the comments section and I'll give the winner a copy of the new, REVISED version of The Lay Reports Book.

Also there's a poll for which guest you guys want to hear from most on the sidebar right now.

Let me know!


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Come Watch me and 12 Other of The O.G Seduction Teachers...

Hey guys,

I was selected as one of the "Original Gurus" to be asked to speak at the upcoming FastSeduction Complete Toolbox Seminar.

You can check out the conference here:

Other guys who will be speaking include Brad P, Zan, Vin Dicarlo, Brent, Swinggcat, and even Ross Jeffries...

Anyhoo, if you sign up because you saw my post, or because you wanted to come watch me speak, let me know at the seminar and I'll have a special bonus for you.



Monday, February 09, 2009

Ayn Rand Applied To Dating - The Fountainhead Part 4 of 4, Gail Wynand and the cost of sacrificing your values.

Hey guys,

Today I'm going to quickly wrap up the 4 part series on The Fountainhead with a short post on Gail Wynand.

Gail Wynand, besides having a girls' name, is the publisher of the newspaper The New York Banner. It's basically a National Enquirer type rag where he prints stuff catering to the lowest common denominator. Gail had grown up on the streets running gangs until he was able to eventually buy the Banner.

However Wynand was a man of great principles and will. He simply sold them out for money, and eventually love.

Ayn Rand has a thing for love triangles, quadrangles and rectangles. So inevitably Gail Wynand steals Dominique Francon away from a loveless marriage with Peter Keating. Into a semi-loveless marriage with himself. He realizes he must have her after he sees a statue of her from one of Roark's failed buildings. But he also realizes she doesn't love him. He assumes she'll grow to love him eventually. What he doesn't know is that she's alrady possesed by Howard Roark. All of this comes to a head when Wynand and Roark become friends.

Wynand's paper had dragged Roark's name through the mud, spearheaded of course by Dominique Francon. This was all done without Wynand knowing what Roark's building looked like. When he eventually sees them he feels terrible. He even goes so far as to become Roark's greatest advocate. Which causes him to lose his entire readership and his employees as Ellsworth Toohey leads a strike. The strike in fact is only resolved when Wynand decides to reverse his position on Roark. Here he sacrifices his values again, this time for his love of the paper.

This is something that guys do with women a lot. Oftentimes, guys will sacrifice things like their self respect, their friendships, even their own lives in order to have a chance with a specific woman or women in general. Unfortunately this doesn't actually work. Women are not attracted to men who are willing to sacrifice their values for sex. This is what makes you desperate and needy. When you don't have things that are sacred above getting laid, having a girlfriend, having girls in your life etc... You shoot yourself in the foot overall. As we saw through the examples of Roark, and Keating having values is an important part of the attraction process, but it's even more important in relationships. Because Values are related to trust, which is the most important factor in any relationship. If a woman cannot trust you to hold on to your values, she can't trust you at all. Because you're behavior isn't governed by anything....


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Ayn Rand Applied To Dating - The Fountainhead Part 3 of 4 Peter Keating and External Validation

Good morning guys,

I just rolled out of bed after a night of tyring to pickup girls while battling indigestion. I don't recommend that particular combination, though I did get very familiar with the bathrooms of the venue :)

I feel much better this morning, and want to take another step up the mountain of analyzing Ayn Rand when it comes to Dating Science.

So without further ado, let's discuss the interesting case of Peter Keating.

Peter Keating is held up for most of The Fountainhead as the opposite of Howard Roark. He is unsure of himself, not a great architect, a follower, and makes his reputation through social manipulation. He is repulsive sexually to Dominique Francon whom he eventually marries over his sweetheart Katie. A reminder that running away from what you want is NEVER going to make you happy.

Let's look at how miserable Peter Keating becomes because his success is based on others opinion's not his own.

It starts the day he graduates(also coincidentally the day Roark gets expelled). He graduates with the highest honors in his class(The AGA medal). But he finds himself miserable as the honors also comes with a choice betwee going to France to study at a highly regarded architecture program or getting a job at Francon and Heyer, the most prestigious Architecture firm in the country. Peter of course can't make this decision himself as anything that requires moral fortitude or balls is not Peter Keating's forte'. This of course is in direct contrast to Howard Roark and his ability to trust himself and believe in his choices. In terms of dating one of these choices is infinitely more attractive to women and I think you can figure out which one it is.

Keating then quickly ingratiates himself with Guy Francon when he realizes that much like himself Francon can't make decisions. He becomes even more interested when he finds out that Francon has a daughter.

To me this love/loathe triangle is one of the more fascinating aspects of The Fountainhead. See Peter loves Katie who is actually Ellsworth Toohey the literary critic and antagonist of the novel's niece. Katie starts the book as a very simple girl who simply loves Peter and helping those less fortunate than herself. She doesn't really think for herself and instead believes the platitudes written by her coniving uncle. An interesting thing to note is that the only times Peter feels really happy are when he's with Katie. However, because his Mother, Guy Francon and Ellsworth Toohey tell him a man of his stature cannot marry such a simple girl. After all they say, what will people think at parties? So Peter despite being engaged to Katie for years, and in love with her, marries Dominique Francon. Dominique marries Peter to punish herself for trying to destroy Roark. It is only through sharing a bed with a man she has the utmost repulsion for that she can begin to feel like she is repaying her debt to the world.

The last thing I want to touch on with Peter Keating is the idea of selflessness. One of my favorite scenes in the book happens when after what should have been Peter's greatest night of accomplishment the opening of the Cosmo-Slotnick building, he's still unhappy. He comes to Ellsworth Toohey who in addition to encourgaing him to marry Dominique instead of his own niece, tells him that he's unhappy because he's trying to make himself happy. The true path to happiness says Toohey comes through utter selflessness. Only through being miserable can you be happy, Toohey would say. Which is ridiculous and indicative of a scarcity mindset. The world is what you make of it and if you believe you have to struggle, you will. Keating agrees that sexual and personal love are acts of selfishness because they favor some people you love over others you don't. Toohey tries to wrap all of this up in the idea of equality. This idea is very attractive to a man like Peter Keating. Because while he doesn't think about being the equal of all those of less status, he too recognizes the greatness in Roark and is dying to feel like his equal.

The problem of course in being seen as Roark's equal is that the things that make Roark great are his self-confidence, esteem and belief in himself. None of which can be gained by sacrficing yourself for the "greater good." This is something that messes guys up with approaching and meeting women all the time. Guys will not want to interrupt a conversation that's going on, or they will not want to talk to a girl and a guy because they might be together. We forget that we have as much of a right to meet the girl as the girl has to not meet us. You just never know until you try. But by putting the imagined needs and wants of a stranger you're trying to mind read across the bar above your own desires, you are buying into the type of thinking that made Peter miserable. By caring about what strangers you'd never meet if you didn't approach them think, you handicap yourself in a major way. By wanting to be seen by everyone as a "nice normal person" you stop people from seeing you as a great attractive person. So like Peter Keating the choice is up to all of you guys. Stand on your own convictions and let the chips fall where they may, or continue to put on false airs to impress a nameless faceless world.

That's the lesson of Peter Keating and drawing validation from otuside of yourself.


Saturday, February 07, 2009

"You Never know when you might surprise yourself"

Hey guys,

The above quote is probably a loose paraphrasing of something Kevin Spacey's character says in American Beauty. If anyone wants to find the exact quote, that'd be special. I'd do it but I'm buzzing with endorphins. Your body rewards you for doing the right things...

I just had a weird social pressure filled interaction and actually kinda looked forward to it. So it's a nice surprise to actually enjoy a moment that previously would have been terrifying. Even 2 years ago. Not to mention 6. I don't want to post about it cause it would blow most people's minds that stuff like this happens. Nonetheless nice to be surprised by my own growth as a person :) And it's always good to see tangible signs of progress along the way. I hope I ever come off like I'm trying to be perfect, as I like you guys and girls am still very much a work in progress.

Have a great weekend!


Friday, February 06, 2009

My Inner Game Song Of The Moment

I'm excited it's Friday!

That means tonight they'll be tons of girls out in barely anything looking for a guy like me. Or anyone with the exceptional good taste to read my blog :)

Anyhoo, today I'm in a great mood and I want to share one of my favorite songs that always seems to life me up and get me in a good mood. Some songs just do that, and I'm not talking about the pump you up and make you want to break shit/hit someone way that songs like "Break Stuff" or " Lose Yourself." do. Instead songs like this make me sing along and feel better about myself. Though in this particular song I do have to change girl to boy :)

So I present without further ado and much anticipation to see the comments "Work That" by Miss Mary J. Blige.


Thursday, February 05, 2009

Day Game- a Primer

I've been getting back into Day game right now, after a long time doing mostly night stuff. Even though I wrote the rules on Day game, and have probably done more approaches during the day than anyone, I wanted to post up a primer of the basics to remind myself and you guys of how to meet women during the day.

1. The energy levels are A LOT lower. You don't need to be that interesting, high energy or funny. Day game tests your ability to be a normal person. This is especially true in less social environments like the Grocery store, the street, and bookstores. This is one of the many reasons I advocate going after girls by themselves in the day. The energy level you need to keep two people(especially if they're moving) engaged is too high to come across normal.

2. You need to be loud enough to get her attention and let her know you're talking to her, without drawing attention to the fact she's getting picked up. This is a big one. You don't just have to deal with your problems regarding the social pressure of the situation, you have to deal with hers as well. Girls like discretion, so it's important that you help create it.

3. The sets go much faster. You have to know how you're going to structure an opportunity to see her again. Oftentimes girls will have legitimate time constraints during the day. A girl who has to get back to work or to a DR's appt is not going to hang out with you all day NO matter how good your game is. This is one of the reasons I like direct better during the day. it cuts through a lot of the bullshit.

4. You need to assess your logistics before you approach. The way you approach any girl in a bar or club should be relatively similar. In Day game, you can have completely different tactics that work for completely different situations. For example, you would approach a girl who is seated at a cafe completely differently from the way you'd approach a girl walking down the street. Knowing and obeying these small contingencies between approaches leads to a much greater level of success.

5. Don't touch girls or go to sexual during the day. This is a huge one! Touching a girl too much during the day, before you've instant dated her is the kiss of death. In general I say don't touch a girl during the day in any way that would make you UNCOMFORTABLE touching your boss. You also want to refrain from making any sexual comments until you've moved her onto an instant date.

Which leads me to my last rule for this primer:

6. It's instant date or die bitches! You always want to be pushing for the instant date as soon as you get any attraction whatsoever. You have to move the girl in order to change the dynamic between the 2 of you. When you first approach a girl during the day, there's a separate vibe. But if you simply move her 30 feet to a coffee place all of a sudden you guys are there TOGETHER and the vibe is completely different and better. So you should always be looking to go on a quick instant date if the girl has time. Otherwise you should be getting phone numbers and moving on.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Ayn Rand Applied To Dating - The Fountainhead Part 2 of 4 Dominique Francon and Howard Roark on Sexual Tension

A Merry Tuesday to you,

I've finally started to rally out of sickness!

I've also decided that I'm going to be taking a break from night game for awhile. Possibly forever outside of bootcamps. I'm really at a good place mentally these days and I'm not in the mood to deal with annoying people, loud music, smoke and $10 drinks. I'm leaving Dallas in about 2 weeks and the city I'm moving to before I start 12 cities in 12 months is great for day game. Just today I picked up a mega hottie at the mall, and I feel the love of the game coming back.

But you guys wanna talk about The Fountainhead, so we'll get back on track.

In The Fountainhead the only female character of any merit is Dominique Francon. Dominique is the daughter of the world's most famous architect Guy Francon. She's a socialite whose only love is being outrageous and offensive. She does everything she does for one purpose, self amusement. But in a greater sense she lives to destroy the things that she knows are virteuous. This is why she has such a struggle with Howard Roark. One of the things that makes Francon an interesting character is her ability to recognize beauty and greatness, yet want to destroy it. She wants to destroy it because she thinks mankind is not worthy of greatness. She goes about trying to destroy Roark with literary criticism and by steering clients away from Roark. She even goes so far as to marry Peter Keating(The symbol of the insecure) to hurt Roark's business.

But she has a small problem, she still sees the beauty and greatness of Roark and his work. It possess her. The most interesting concept applied to dating in The Fountainhead, is the one of sexual possession.

I have a theory, that there are some girls with whom you're connection and chemistry is so strong that they will always come back to you if you wanted them back. In my life these girls are Barrie, Annie, and Meggan. No matter what I do, these girls love me for who I am. This is sexual possession. Or maybe romantic possession is a better term, but whatever it is that Rand describes between Howard Roark and Dominique Francon is electric. Not neccessarily healthy, but very realistic...

Here's a super interesting passage about Roark thinking of Dominique consider this a look inside the frame of a self assured dominant.

" He did not think of Dominique often, but when he did, the thought was not a sudden recollection, it was the acknowledment of a continuous presence that needed no acknowledgment. He wanted her. He knew where to find her. He waited. It amused him to wait, because he knew that the waiting was unbearable to her. He knew that his absence bound her to him in a maner more complete and humiliating than his presence could enforce. He was giving her time to attempt an escape, in order to let her know her own helplessness when he chose to see her again. She would know that the attempt itself had been of his choice, that it had only been another form of mastery. Then she would be ready either to kill him or come to him of her own will. The two acts would be equal in her mind. He wanted her brought to this. He waited."

Ok so there's a whole lot of stuff going on in that passage. It was enough that I highlighted it and wrote WTF???

This is a great example of the feeling of sexual tension. David D has described this type of emotional communication as " I can but I won't" The ability to be in control of your sexual desire, while acknowledging it is amazingly arousing to women. Once you know the girl wants you, the longer you hold out, the more sexual tension is built up. Furthermore if you acknowledge the sexual tension as you build it, the result becomes exponential. This is something I learned from dating strippers. Every stripper I dated from 2005-2007 was amazing at what I refer to as coquetting or sexual teasing( Something I'll be covering in detail upcoming) They were able to almost make fun of me for wanting them while still making me want them... Especially after sex. So I picked up a whole bunch of this and Howard Roark's thinking echos the outer game tactics of a coquette. You wait to build desire, because you know that's what the girl wants. And because it's hot...

Another major theme in this passage is the idea of power exchange and sex. Part of female arousal is being sexually receptive. Men in general are sexually aggressive, women are not. I don't have a specific statistic, but IME in field ALMOST ALL girls are submissive and react strongly to Masculine Dominance. The helplessness that Dominique feels, builds the attraction and arousal. She wants to fight but ultimately she wants to lose. She wants to be dominated by the force of a personality and will that is too much for her to overcome. One of the weird oft quoted parts of Fountainhead is the initial love scene between Roark and Dominique where he literally rapes her. Then she comes to him a second time and says this...

" I want to be owned, not by a lover, but by an adversary who will destroy my victory over him, not with honorable blows, but with the touch of his body on mine. That is what I want from you Roark. That is what I am? You wanted to hear it all. You've heard it. What do you wish to say now?"

To which Roark replies

"Take your clothes off."

The idea of power exchange and sexuality is a weird one and can lead into the deep dark BDSM community and places I'd rather not go. But sex and power are inextricably linked. Especially because a woman has to feel that she has some sort of control in the process of her own seduction. You have to create a space where she can feel exhilirated by your dominance and not frightened.

One of the biggest mistakes I see with guys going sexual is that they don't fractionate enough. You have to sprinkle in things like hair pulling, dirty talk, biting, and public fondling. If done all the time with a girl whose's not that comfortable being submissive and pleasing you, it can be weird. However there are ways to build compliance and set frames to lead women to please you. The best part about is it that they love it! Women like the idea of helping and serving a powerful man. In fact most women would rather be the second GF of a powerful man than the wife of a weak man. Retaining and exercising your power in a mutually healthy way is key to the matter of seduction, and furthermore relationship management.

The key part there is how I said the woman had to know she was in control even in the face of dominance? Again as in real life the relationship had mutual power exchange as evidenced by this passage here.

"She tried to demonstrate her power over him.She stayed away from his house;she waited for him to come to her. He spoiled it by coming too soon;by refusing her the satisfaction of knowing that he waited and struggled against his desire; by surrendering at once. She would say: "Kiss my hand, Roark." He would kneel and kiss her ankle. He defeated her by admitting her power;she could not have the graticifcation of enforcing it. He would lie at her feet, he would say: " Of course I need you. I go insane when I se you. You can do almost anything you wish with me. Is that what you want to hear? Almost Dominique. And the things you couldn;t do- you could put me through hell if you demanded them and I had to refuse you, as I would. Through utter hell Dominique. Does that please you? Why do you want to know whether you own me? It's so simple. Of course you do. All of me that can be owned."

" She felt no thrill of conquest; she felt owned more than ever, by a man who could say these things, know them to be true, and still remain controlled and controlling."

This is what's commonly referred to as a "congruence test." She wants to make sure that Roark is the man she wants him to be so badly. And it is only by testing him and putting him and herself through suffering that she can be sure., and it's only when a woman is sure of a man that she can give herself over to them completely. This is the power of dominance and sexual possession, and the dynamic before the surrender is called Sexual Tension.

I'll be back soon to post about Peter Keating.


Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Ayn Rand Applied To Dating - The Fountainhead Part 1 of 4, Howard Roark.

Hey guys,

I'm kinda under the weather today, probably the remnants of the Vegas trip combined with getting kinda wasted last night. Not a good call.

Oh well, Over the last few weeks I've been trying to get more into reading actual literature. And I decided to get started with The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. So over the past couple of weeks, I've read about 2000 pages of Ayn Rand's Objectivist Epistemology, and I'll be boiling that down to what I think can effectively help you with women and dating.

I actually read The Fountainhead after I read Atlas Shrugged, but I want to talk about it first, as I think it builds the foundations of Rand's philosophies about Men, Self-Esteem, Values, Happiness, Judgements etc...

The Fountainhead is the story of Howard Roark an architect. The book starts with a bang as Roark is thrown out of school for refusing to follow the standards of traditional architecture. This is one of the main points of all of Ayn Rand's writings. The only way for men to be happy in Rand's view is for them to live ONLY by their own standards, values and judgements. Men are certain, set their course and find the work that makes them happy. Howard Roark is the living embodiment of Rand's philosophy. Throughout the book he is punished for his commitment to excellence, his vision and his ability to produce and enjoy his production. He is opposed by the second raters, the worshippers of death who want to see man as a slimy lowly creature, to be dominated by means of lies, and distortions.

Roark's certainty in his standards is one of his most amazing traits. In fact throughout the book he is called upon to help his polar opposite Peter Keating with various architectural tasks. Early in the book as Roark is helping Peter to decide on what job to take. Peter asks how Roark can always manage to decide. Roark responds by asking him how he can let others decide for him. This is huge when it comes to meeting women. You must have your own standards and be able to make decisions. You have to have things that are more important to you than getting laid or having a girlfriend. You must know what you stand for and consistently make decisions moving towards that.

Let's take a look at how Roark is described by Rand in her initial notes for The Fountainhead.

"Howard Roark- The noble soul par excellence. The man as man should be. The self-sufficient, self confident, the end of ends, the reason unto himself, the joy of living personified. Above all-the man who lives for himself, as living for oneself should be understood. And who triumphs completely. A man who is what he should be."

Furthermore Rand shows the sufferring and unhappiness caused by not living by your own standards and doing things to appease the masses. Everything from Peter worrying about whether or not he really loves his mother, to Gail Wynand coming into power by giving the masses what they want, and becoming miserable along the way. We'll get more into both of those guys and how they perverted their standards in order to get what they think they want. This is something that a lot of more advanced guys can see in their own game. You can get girls, but you can't seem to keep the cooler, hotter ones etc... I'll talk about how guys pervert their standards with women in the Gail Wynand and Peter Keating lessons upcoming.

That's why it's so important to know who you are and what is important to you. This and this alone causes you to come off certain, passionate, dynamic, and alive. By living by your own standards and not looking externally for validation you become more attractive. In pick up lingo this is known as being "non-reactive." But in order to really be non reactive, you have to stop looking outside of your own standards of right and wrong for validation. You have to stop seeking others approval. In short you have to stop giving a fuck. Or become internally validated. TD once wrote that as a man you are responsible for creating and maintaining your own state. That means you have to step up, and learn to draw validation from who you are, not what you accomplished or how much you've read.

Later in the book is where Rand ties in the idea of being selfish. It is a kind of selfishness to elevate your beliefs and standard above all others. It is something of an arrogance to believe you know best. But it is what being a man is all about. The men who have shaped hostory have been men that believed in their own abilities, reason, and virtue. One of the main characterizations we see throughout this book and Atlas Shrugged is the idea of heroic men without guilt for their virtues. Roark refuses to feel bad for his selfishness and instead feels nothing for it. The act of following his values is as second nature to him as breathing. He knows no other way.

As guys we often feel guilty about our achievements, desires, judgements, choices etc... One of the most interesting things about Rand's writing to me is the idea of guilt rejection. Her characters are willing to suffer for their virtues. Be it Dominique Francon marrying two men she doesn't love and letting them have their way with her. Or Roark refusing more commisions than I can remember because they wouldn't let him build the way he wanted to. What her heroes(and heroines) don't do is accept any guilt whatsoever for the way they are. The only exception in here is Gail Wynand but I'll get to that in the another post.

Howard Roark is the posterchild for self esteem, while Peter Keating is the posterchild for ego. In becoming self sufficient, autonomous, and masculine, you re-store your self esteem. By holding a respect for yourself above a respect for anything else, you become a more attractive person. That's why "jerks" get women. Because jerks (and naturals) are selfish. They don't care much about people other than themselves. And even though that's a perversion of the idea of being autonomous and having self esteem, it subcommunicates very similar things, which women are attracted to.

In fact next time I'm going to continue to discuss Howard Roark as we take a look at his love affair with Dominique Francon and what we can learn about sexual tension, power exchange and values related to sexual love.

Stay tuned...