Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tip of The Day # 1: Never Discuss The Number...

What's up guys,

Today i want to start a new feature, where I give simple quick hit advice on dating and pick up.

We're starting off with something that makes a lot of common sense, but I see many guys messing up. That is asking or caring about how many guys a girl has slept with. A lot of guys suffer from Madonna/Whore complexes and thus want to justify that they are with a pure chaste girl. Personally I'd rather sleep with a girl whose slept with a lot of guys as she's more likely to be good in bed, but I digress.

The point is there's no good that can come from that kind of questioning for either of you. Now sometimes women will bring this up to me. Personally, since I'm well into triple figures I probably need to avoid that question as well. What I do is explain that there's no answer that's going to make either of us happy, and what's happened in the past is in the past. That works pretty consistently.

The next time you feel like asking a girl this or curiosity is just getting the better of you, remember what curiosity did to the cat...



  1. Anonymous10:33 AM

    very true. i do this with every girl i see more than once, and theres no such thing as a good answer for me since i'll think she's a whore if it's a lot of guys and i'll think she's dependent and clingy if there's only a one or two. either way i judge her negatively.

    it's so hard to hold back though...

  2. Anonymous1:54 PM

    I kinda agree with you, yet I still do it. I bring it up in the question game so she cannot ask me though ;-)

    Truth is no answer will be good though. 0= vigin (no go)

    1-3 (whack sex)

    10 and up "she is a whore"

    They are just like us same desires diffrent sexual organs.

    Nice post though...

    ~Javier F.~

  3. Anonymous5:51 PM

    This is one of the few questions I will never answer because to be honest, I don't know, as I'm sure you don't either. I do the same thing that you do with explaining that no good can come of the answer, but slide in that the fact that my number isn't low is actually to her benefit.

    I tell her that my number is high enough that if I find the right girl I will not feel like I'm missing out on other potentially hotter women. I then go on to explain that I feel that most marriages end in divorce because people are settling for each other when they don't actually work, and if there are issues in our relationship she will be the first to know about them.

    If she's adamant about knowing a number, I tell her to give me an over/under and then just answer based on what I think she wants to hear. I find most girls throwing out a number under 20 so I feel good about saying over without coming off as a man whore.

  4. Anonymous7:46 PM

    First of all, for God sakes don't ask your girl how many men she's slept with
    a) If its a low number or zero, she'll feel inadequate/inexperienced. Worse, if she's a virgin, she already feels uncomfortable about sex and doesn't wanna verbalize this stuff.
    b) if its a high number, welcome to ASD. Now she has to prove to you she's not a whore somehow. Oh! I know! she won't sleep with you just to prove it! Brilliant. Aren't you glad you're getting all this rapport with girls? Cool, now go masterbate. *high five

    For God's sake do NOT ask such retarded questions to women. Its just fucking boring. Sex is so god damn boring, who wants to talk about it.

    Besides, as Sinn said, all you care about is that she's good in bed. If she is a good kisser, then you know she has skills. If not, she's a cold dead fish. Got it? great.

    If she asks me? Just tell her a respectable number (eg. how many girlfriends you've had) and throw in a few one night stands to round out the number to about 8-12. No this is NOT my real number, you're trying to imitate an AFC. Get it?

    Most women probably believe that all men know their high score (tee hee) so you wanna give a confident answer. I honestly do not know, do not care, and unlike Sinn, I do not count anymore. I'm thrilled to declare that I have no freaking idea how many women I've banged. And I've been tested (phew). And I don't bang boring, fat or ugly girls just to rack up my score.

    And you can be damn sure I'm not gonna tell any girl that. Guys, the point is to be playful, funny, and cool. Do not discuss this stuff with your girl, and if she asks always pretend to be an AFC. Women want to be fucked by PUAs but do not want to know that they are a NUMBER.

    Wesscoast (ASFname)

  5. I think this is fine advice as long as you're not looking for an LTR. If you're considering a girl for an LTR though I disagree that it doesn't matter. Studies have shown that sluttier girls are more likely to cheat. I prefer my LTRs to be selective.

    You don't need to directly ask her though -- this blog post discusses some signs of sluttiness:


  6. I suppose hoof has a point. But in the end, I'd rather have a girl who's experienced in bed than one with a low "number."

    In my world, there are many faithful women whose numbers may be higher than "normal." (Whatever the hell that is) 'Nuff said.

  7. Anonymous1:40 AM

    If she asks you I say "Enough :)" I got it off some old black and white romance movie.

  8. Anonymous5:34 PM

    For an LTR, go at it with a business approach.

    If you are in a ltr, just like when ur single, there are men EVERYWHERE: its your job to keep your girl happy, excited and feeling sexy.

    If you ignore her, or bore her, she will cheat. This is the Bill Cosby approach to pickup.

    BTW. When you're in a relationship, and you're feeling bored, and checking out other women, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, and if your girl cheats it doesn't mean she's a SLUT. If we can't get our physical/emotional needs met with our current partners, we WILL seek out other sources. Its just human nature.

    To be a good BF, or husband, then means to be good at all the boring stuff, and from time to time, do something that shows her you still think she's sexy, and still want to have fun, etc.


  9. I say remove all the limits.

    If a guy asked me this, and I could tell he just really wanted to experience the world through my eyes, I'd probably tell him. If he had moved completely beyond judgment, I'd tell him.

    Guys are delusional if they think most girls have only slept with one or two guys. Get over it. She's not telling you the truth!

    I have never cheated on any of my boyfriends, and that has nothing to do with my number.

    I say: remove all the limits.

    Fuck monogamy. It's a limit. Our souls want to be free.

    Experience everyone fully. Be alive. Be honest. Judge not.

    Remove all limits. :)

  10. Anonymous12:48 AM

    I think David Deida got a sex change.

  11. I'm actually very happy you posted this. It's an issue I've been thinking about lately. Being a PUA you get with a lot of girls who you don't necessarily want to form a relationship with... but, I'm at the stage now where I'm wanting to let a relationship form with one of the girls.

    This issue came up in conversation, and she got defensive really quick. I didn't ask the number, because I don't want to know, but just how quick she said.. "I agree; Let's stay away from past sexual experience - it's not important..." Left me feeling a bit weird.

    I mentioned to her that it threw me off, and that it made me feel like she thought I would judge her... Then she was like...

    'No no no... really if you want to know'
    then I stopped her and said,
    "No, it's good for us to leave that in the past - I just want you to know that no matter what, I wont judge you."

    she responded with, "I know you wouldn't, that makes me so happy."

    Or some shit like that.