The Most Important Factor is Effort

 I was talking to my friend about what the most important factor for success with women and dating was the other day.

 There's quite a few things that are involved:
 Looks
 Money
"Game" or social engineering
 Emotional Connections
 Commonalities
 Status

 But I think of all those things, effort is the one factor that separates the guys who get laid a ton from the guys who do all right or fail completely.

Think about it, a guy could have great looks, or a lot of money or a lot of "Game" but if he doesn't put in a consistent effort he's not going to get the best results.

I even think back in the day Gunwitch, had an equation that was something like your looks + your effort/ 2 equals your best possible results.

So for example if a guy is a 5 and puts in a 10 effort he could end up with 7.5s. I think I agree, though there are outside factors like "game", money, and emotional connections which could boost the guy even higher without the 10 effort that (AVERAGE)guy is getting nowhere. You have to want better for yourself and then work really hard to get it.

 The worse your starting point is: Short, Fat, Old, Bald, Bad Accent, etc...

 The more effort you're going to need to put in to be successful. I remember once I had a student in 12 months to mastery who was 5'4 bald, fat and unattractive with a terribly thick Indian accent. We were talking and I was telling him he needed to hit the gym and get a vocal coach to work on the accent before he was going to see major progress. He said something to me like " That's too much work." and I went off on an old school rant about how you have to want this and he wasn't starting with the best raw material. And that's the thing a lot of you guys KNOW what you need to do to be more successful with women: You need to stop being a pussy, or lose some weight, or get out more. But you don't want to do that because it's hard. And because you're lazy. So you constantly look for the next magic pill or program that will somehow do the work for you.

 It is possible to succeed as an ugly, short, old dude I've had students do it, but they work their assess off to get that success. They try and try and try and then when they really want to quit they try some more. That's the kind of effort you need to be willing to put in if you're serious about getting success with women. Especially if you're short, ugly, poor, or socially awkward.

 JS

Developing an internal mute button

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Video on Upside Of Irrationality

 Hey there,

 So props to the comment monkey section for finding this video which explains what I was trying to say the other day about the Upside Of Irrationality.

So enjoy the video and comment below:

 Word.

The One Interesting Chapter in The Upside of Irrationality

 The Upside of Irrationality is a boring book.

 It's the sequel to Predictably Irrational which I don't think helps you understand dating as much as it helps you understand that people are prone to irrational behavior which you'll see in dating time and again.

There is however one good chapter in The Upside Of Irrationality on of all things online dating. The chapter contends that online dating is a market in failure. There are a series of experiments that back up this idea in the chapter but much of it is focused on how online dating doesn't simulate a real date because you are essentially window shopping based on pictures and a few descriptions that anyone with half a brain could fake.

There's also some good stuff on ugly people and how they rationalize not being able to get the mates they really desire.

 It's probably not worth reading the whole book, but if you have 30-45 minutes free to read the chapter it's pretty interesting.

 Word.

 JS

My Thoughts On The Guy/Chick Debate

 Man Do I Hate The New Blogger....

 Seriously I hate that shit with a passion, and hope it dies.

 Anyway I read your comments including Captain Jack saying it's best to be a pirate which I think is true...

I think it's easier to be a dude in most situations.

The exceptions being a hot 20 something girl in LA, Vegas, NYC, or Miami who literally has the world by the balls.

Though it is WAY easier to end up alone as a dude...

There are quite a few pluses such as:

 1. No child birth- No thanks to passing a kid out of my body. You know ho wannoying it is when you have to take a shit? Imagine that for 9 months, no thanks.
 2. No fear of rape- I mean outside of jail.
 3. Not always judged by our appearance
 4. Our looks don't fade as bad
 5. They make less money $$$

 So there you have it, be happy you're a dude even if you can't get no pussy!
 
 JS

Is It Easier To Be A Girl Or A Dude

I was out with one of my friends yesterday getting our day drink on, when he started telling a group of girls someything like " Its easier to be a girl because even if you never make money you can always find a guy who's rich so that adds to your income.

That's actually a lot more clear as I'm not writing this after drinking 12 Vodka sodas.

 But it got me thinking, is it easier to be a girl or a dude.

When it comes to dating it's WAY easier to be a girl, they don't have to approach, pay for dates, etc...

When it comes to work and making money it's better to be a dude as guys still make on average something like 15% more than women for doing the same jobs.

Women live longer though...

And on and on the list goes.

Since we've been getting a lot of comments on here lately (Cuz I'm awesome) I figured I'd start the week off by asking what you guys and girls think?

Overall is it harder to be a guy or a girl?

 JS

You Can't Learn From "Naturals"

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Mythical Creature Of Pick-Up: The Fat Guy With Game

There are many mythical creatures in the land of Pick-up, there's the mythical guy who can pick up girls without talking, there's the guy who can out game celebrities and there's my personal favorite; The Fat Guy with game.

Question, if a dirty 5 dollar street hooker, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and A fat guy with game are walking down the street and see a $5 dollar bill, who gets it?

Think about it...

The answer is the dirty $5 dollar hooker because the other 3 guys are figments of your imagination.

In now 8 years of actively going out and trying to meet guys with game, I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER seen a guy who was fat with game.

And I mean fat fat not fat like Nick Savoy who is a tall skinny guy with a big gut. I mean so fat that when you first see him you're only thought is man that guy is fucking fat. Chubby don't count.

In fact I would go so far as to say this, if a pickup teacher advertises that their shit works even if you're obese, clutch on to your money and run in the opposite direction.

If you're fat, women will talk to you if you approach them (Unless it's direct then they'll usually keep walking) but you are instantly screened out as having any sexual potential whatsoever. I've seen it on many bootcamps and I always tell the dude he needs to lose weight before he decides to try to learn game.

Gym before Pick-up is one of the golden rules for actually getting results at this stuff.

JS

Locus Of Control and Pickup

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The Blonde Thing...

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Girls as Options Traders

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Further Proof Neil Strauss Just Wants Your Money

Neil's Idiot Marketing guy emailed me for some unknown reason.

Check the vid to see my response.



JS

Approach Anxiety and Variability

Short Post today, I've been reading a great book called "The Willpower Instinct" which is all about willpower and the nueroscience behind how we do or don't have the willpower to pursue our goals.

There was an interesting piece which relates to why I think it's hard for guys to get into the swing of doing consistent approaches.

The piece was on variability which basically means how much difference there was between the behavior on a day to day basis. In one example in the book, they talked about someone who was trying to quit smoking. If they started by trying to quit all together, the chances of them quitting were almost zero, however if they tried to just smoke the same amount of cigarettes each day almost every participant reduced and then eliminated their smoking.

The reason was variability if someone smoked 12 cigarettes one day they have to smoke 12 the next and the next. Same with 4 etc... So it made it easier to reduce it since it was no longer one extra cigarette which is easily rationalized but 1 cig a day.

I think this relates to approaching and AA because guys will not approach any women all week then try to approach 12 women a night on the weekend which oftentimes they fail at because it's such a change from their day to day average of approaching no women.

So what I recommend is if you have AA trying to approach the same number of people every day in the beginning even if that just means talking to one girl a day you will start to develop the habit of talking to girls and can eventually add on to that in the same way that smokers toned down their habits.

There's a lot of good neuroscience explaining why this works better in the book, but I'm too lazy to find quotes or experiments if you want more info I highly recommend the book even though I'm not even halfway through it.

JS- The King of Content

Interesting Thought For The Day About "PUA gurus"

I find it very interesting that these guys ALWAYS talk about how busy they are(Not to mention teaching guys to avoid qualifying themselves.),then spend 10-12 posts defending/qualifying themselves on various forums (Where I lurk soooo hard muthafuckas want to fine me) especially if it involves the topic of them not getting hot girls or their girlfriends being less than a 10.

Didn't Shakespeare write something about some guy protesting too much???

Either way it makes fascinating weekend reading when I'm bored in class. So I should probably shut the fuck up so they keep doing it....

Actually who am I kidding it's a pathological behavior I could send them emails telling them they do this and they would still do it.

Which means I have some emails to write...

Or I'm going to kickboxing class as I'm actually not that busy, because this job is not hard enough that I could tell people I work 17 hour days with a straight face.

Oh pickup gurus never change.

JS-The King Of Content

Two Things I'm Into Right Now

Here's a couple of things I'm into on this Wednesday:

1. Joe Budden's AMAZING remix on No Church In The Wild (Which was my favorite song on the Watch The Throne Album) This Remix is probably the best verse of the year thus far...



2. @Dadboner twitter. Bold Flavors, Power Moves, A Thousand Beers, Bud Light Nums, if this means something to you, you're awesome and read DadBoner's amazing twitter feed. It's not like other twitter feeds, it's a comic character written by a working hollywood writer who posts stories that will make you piss your pants check it out if you like laughing.

JS

My Top 10 Free or Really Really Really close date ideas...

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Going on Vacation

Yo,

I'm out of town this week so there won't be updates til next Monday when I will have some cool new stuff and maybe even a video on cold reading if you're really nice :)

JS

K.I.S.S # closing system

Hey there,

I've been actively trying to simplify my game recently. One of the things that's really been working for me (To the point I started teaching it to my private phone coaching students and now it's working for them) is what I'm calling the K.I.S.S (Or Keep It Simple Stupid) system for getting a girl's number.

What happened was this, we all know it's better if you make a date with a girl for a specific time and at a specific place right?

Well I only ever take girls to drinks or for coffee if they're under 21(But above 18). So instead of coming up with this elaborate plan or coming up with a unique date every time, I decided to just start asking girls to come out for a drink or coffee when I meet them.

No more having to seed a story about a cool place, or make it seem really elaborate.

So I started doing that, instead of the overly elaborate seeding, I would just ask them if they wanted to grab a drink sometime in the normal flow of the conversation. This is a key point as when I waited til the end of the conversation to ask, I got a LOT more flaking (like 30%) so it's important that you treat it like a seed and you don't ask for the women's # right away after she agrees to go have a drink.

Wait a minute or 2 and then get her phone number so you can figure out where you'll go. I also like to say I like dive bars and ask her if she likes dive bars at which point I'll tell her we'll go somewhere cool and that's it. I'm out.

This is MUCH simpler and can be thrown in to any conversation and the best part is the girl will know it's a date, so there won't be any confusion where you end up in the dreaded friend zone.

Hope that helps,

JS- The King Of Content

I am EXHAUSTED!!!

So the last few months I have been back in school, and it is EXHAUSTING.

Not to mention that I go to school on the weekends because I'm still running this business, blogging, doing kickboxing 3x a week, girls and trying to have a non girl related social life.

The good news is I only have 4 more weeks of school and then at least I'll have weekends back.

But today, I am dead tired, sooo tired I can't even sleep... And when I finally did get out of bed, I went and laid down on the couch. In theory I am going to kickboxing next but we shall see...

JS

5 Types of Cold Reads

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