Monday, September 28, 2009

What Girls Say And What They Mean Part 2- We have to go...

I get a lot of questions from guys who misinterpret things girls say to them in a number of ways I've talked about a few of them in newsletters and the first blog post of this nature.

Today, I'm gonna talk about an oldie but goodie that I've been seeing in a lot of field reports. Namely the " We have to.." Sometimes the girls have to go dance ( Which i always found a bit strange, does the world end if they don't dance?) It could be that they have to go to the bathroom( a little more understandable but they will make it clear if they're coming back) or any other random thing.

The "I have to" is girl code for someone here is uncomfortable with you. You won't generally see the " I have to" except in a group approach situation. Though you will also see it sometimes with street approaches where girls have to get back to work etc...
Generally this will happen when there is a lack of social comfort. You've done something overly aggressive, or awkward, or boring, but not offensive enough for a hard blowout.

One thing to remember is that most girls are NOT bitchy. For the most part women want to avoid the social awkwardness of having to be rude to you. They don't want to feel like they're bitchy or deal with the self image of being a bitch, so if they can reject you in a socially acceptable, they will. This is also why girls will say they have bfs when it isn't true.

This is another reminder of why social comfort is SO important in the first five minutes because girls will even go to the lengths of telling little white lies to preserve the social comfort in their group.



  1. Anonymous7:51 PM

    Shitty advice

  2. This is true sometimes. Yet often times what is really happening is that the other girl comes and pulls her friend away because she is jealous and isnt getting any attention. This is especially more common with younger women.

    Ive had cases where I make eye contact with a girl nearby at the bar, and she comes over to me and we start talking, and then the friend who saw all that gives it 30 seconds before she sweeps in and drags her friend away.

    I have a theory that the more sexually frustrated a girl is, the more she will sabotage her friends chances of getting with guys. Generally, the less socially experienced a girl is, the more sexually frustrated she is as well. All that basically highlights how 20 year old drunk girls cock block each other a lot while 30 year old ones do not.

  3. Anonymous10:58 PM

    I agree with SmokeLion. Right on the money!