Friday, December 22, 2006

Skills and Faith

There are in my mind two equally important parts to becoming a PUA.

1 is skills, learning the actual technical aspects of opening, negging, time constraining etc..

The second is faith.

Why is it that when guys get into the community they have SO much success with material? Is there anything that magical about opinion openers, or the ESP routine?

No, there isn't but you believe that these things work.

That's why the students who get the best are the ones who throw out their entire model of how pick up works and buy into the material.

Faith ultimately can be equated to "Inner game" where as skills = "outer game". The best thing that can happen to a PUA is to get some material that they have faith in first. Then develop their faith in themselves.

Future and I have often said that if you were truly 100% confident in everything you did, the only thing you would need to do is kino escalate. This would be a case where faith would overcome a lack of skills.

When i first started in the game, I was a mess but I had complete faith that these random guys on the internet were onto something. I truly believed that they could help me and that they were right. Later it turns out that most of them were either charletans or fucking crazy. Read " The Game" to figure out whose who. But it doesn't matter, because I still bought into it and improved the shit out of my life. If I had not believed that A certain non MM guru could go into a 112 guy 1 girl set and steal girls from celebrities, I would not have gotten as good as I am. Turns out it was a lie and I was better than him when I took my initial program.

This is something that I carry on today. When I read about guys doing shit that sounds ridiculous, I don't say it's bullshit, I field test it. That's one of the reasons I knew Dynamic was full of shit, cuz I tried to pull girls into the bathroom in 7 minutes by asking if they wanted to watch me jerk off. It didn't work but I kept trying it. I never discount anything, because when I first heard about opinion openers, they sounded stupid too.

I think that it is super important to have faith in A method even if it's not Mystery Method. People got laid before Mystery came around. But have faith in something and try it.

Now having said that, I really do believe in having techniques and tactics, I think they free you're mind to think about the really important stuff. I also believe that until you have internalized the structures of humor and story-telling and teasing etc, it's really helpful to have specific lines and routines to help you get the girl.

So the first thing I always suggest to guys is get an opener and start using it. Get proficient at opening sets so that you can then move on to learning Negs, FTC, DHVS and all the other horrible acronyms.

But after learning all the technical aspects of game, the final sticking point is learning to have faith in yourself, and your ability to attract and begin a sexual relationship with the women you desire.

In my own experience, my learnin curve went something like this
Year 1 I try stuff on girls I go to school with as I am terrified to approach
Year 2 I learned the wheelchair opener and did it over and over going to the mall every day and opening 7 sets a day, I had very spotty attraction game through reading community material. I started to get laid but it took a lot of sets that didn't go further than the opener.
Year 3 I take a MM program and learn the actual structure that I am supposed to be going through. I build a routine stack and run it over and over again until it starts to work almost every set. I also start to get bored but rack up a TON of lays.
Year 4 I start to focus on overlying mechanisms as I am going to strangle myself if I have to run Best Friends Test again. I also start to work on my inner game. More and more I find myself not having to rely on material. I reach a place where I neither hold a routine out or force it. I put it in if it makes sense in the overall flow of the interaction. I no longer know what I am doing. But it almost always works.

This is a process and it takes awhile to go from being completely unconsciously incompetant to being unconsciously competant.

Hope this helps everyone else as much as

9 comments:

  1. Just a damn fine post.
    You're posting gold, dude.

    Outer game/Inner game dynamics stuff was pure money.

    I haven't gotten bored with my Routine Stack (yet) but I'm already mixing things around based on how I'm calibrating the situation. I'm even noticing NEW routines coming out of my mouth (mostly C1-2-3) that specifically address needs expressed, and surprise myself to find them fully laced with DHV spikes. It all felt a bit eerie until I read your post and realized I'm somewhere in between your Step 3 and 4.

    You haven't added the Mastery Step to the Unconscious Incompetence -> Unconscious Competence Model? I believe Rex Steven Sikes created that (Palo Alto in 19 ...)

    Please keep posting.
    Your's and Savoy's are the first things I open in the morning - even before the Lounge.

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  2. MikeNYC7:36 PM

    i have terrifying AA. i'm in my first year.

    day game is logistically better for me. how did you work through the time where opening the first set of the afternoon is like trying to jump into a freezing pool of water? once i'm in it's clear skies and lollipops but that very first set is the one that either makes or breaks my day.

    there are days where i go out for 3 hours and dont open anything because that first set is just that hard.

    thanks for reading.
    Mike.

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  3. Sinn,
    thanks for that. your writing is impressive, the amoutn of material you present in a tight way rivals a good essayists.

    i would like to hear your thoughts about a phrase you use at the end there -

    "i started working on my inner game"

    - in my experience, you can only do this indirectly (spending more time in-field and not thinking about it and one fine day you remember how difficult it used to be, how much easier it is now - boom, your inner game has improved without your realizing it).
    working on inner game - as i understand the expression - is like working on growing taller.

    i would very much like to hear your thoughts on your experience of the how else, other than field work, one can improve "inner game".


    Sting

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  4. I really like this post because it seems very honest.

    "Fake it until you make it" is key because it says everything. Once you are good and congruent with your routines or your game, you don't need it anymore. I don't really like Style but when he says in order to win the game you have to quit it I think it is true. There are many important tools out there and you need years to master them but once you are good with them, forget them. Act as a social robot at the beginning, but then stop. My goal is to become good with women like a natural does. but I won't spend my lifetime in the game.

    Keep that blog going man ;-)

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  5. Anonymous5:54 AM

    For a great example of story telling with sub communication and appropriately used DHVs, check out Savoy's latest blog.

    He says it has nothing to do with pick-ups or seductions but once you learn the game it's hard to let go of the concepts that work so well (even while writing a blog).

    keep up the good work it seems to be working.

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  6. Anonymous12:31 AM

    Sinn, what do you mean when you said that in "Year 4 I start to focus on overlying mechanisms"? What are "overlying mechanisms" and how did you focus on them? Thanks.

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  7. crypticfox10:32 AM

    Holy Shit!

    Four years??!?

    That's great to hear. Here I was getting frustrated that I'm 7 months in and seeing only inconsistant success. Maybe I'm better than I think I am. :]

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  8. sounds like Core Confidence, 100% belief, and Self Trust.

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  9. my curve is going exactly like yours

    first year just atlk to girls at school cuz I'm scared shitless

    2nd year am starting to approach a ton and getting some attraction btu just leaving after opener

    3rd year I'm taking an RSD bc in afew motnhs from now...

    I just gotta stay on the path yo..
    mad love for the game

    thanks for the help always sinnmaster
    I've been reading your blog for like 2 years now...
    #1 rule is the best thing I learned from you.
    thank you.

    ReplyDelete