Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Attraction Switches

The Attraction Switches:

Originally we wanted to convey that we were the embodiment of 6 alpha characteristics. Or 5 if you’re Mystery and can’t count.

They were:

1. Confidence- not really confidence, but the illusion of confidence, we accomplish this by approaching with the 3 second rule, having good body language and escalating.

2. Smile- In a survey taken in the 70s John Eagen found that 98% of women preferred to be approached with a smile and….

3. Sense of humor. Women love funny men. The way to a woman’s heart is through making her laugh. I don’t know anyone who can consistently get girls who doesn’t make them laugh.

4. Sense of connection. A woman has to feel like there is something happening between the two of you. Call it chemistry, call it rapport, call it understanding, but there must be a sense that there is more than a physical thing happening.

5. Well Groomed. This one may seem obvious, but if I had a dollar for every BC student I’ve had who needed to get his eye brows waxed or shave his chest, I would be a VERY rich man.

6. Social Proof. People especially women tend to stereotype, so we want them to stereotype us into a role we want. That means that by simply being surrounded by women, I can become more attractive to the next woman I approach.

Well the 5 er… 6 characteristics of an alpha male, gave way to …

The Attraction Switches.

1. Pre-selected by women. A hybrid of social proof, except that in this version, we go to great lengths to make our target and her peer group, know in no uncertain terms that we have dated women of great beauty and social status. The effects of pre-selection are many, there is the social proof aspect, as well as the ability to show that since we have had beautiful women before, we are unaffected by her beauty.
2. Leader of men. Also an aspect of social proof here, but more importantly it shows the strength of character needed to inspire others to follow you. It also implies some social status as people do not follow just anyone. The idea of being a leader shows so many good things about us, that it cannot be understated.
3. Protector of loved ones. This one is important to show her, that if she were to get into a relationship with us, she would be safe. It shows also that if she were to have children with us her children would be safe as well. She has to see that you are willing to protect her, even at the expense of your own safety.
4. Willing to emote. The ability to show her the range of your emotions is very powerful. You have to demonstrate to her very clearly that you are someone who follows they’re emotions. It just so happens that you’re emotions lead you toward being pre-selected by women, a leader of men and protector of loved ones.

Now having gotten these from Mystery, I have recently begun to add a few more.

5. The willingness to walk away. In every set there is a point where you will have to show her without a doubt that you want her, but are willing to walk if she doesn’t adhere to the standards you have set for her.
6. The ability to affect her emotionally. I used to call this the ability to lead her on an emotional journey. However the more I think about it the real power of leading her on an emotional journey only works if she is emotionally affected by you. When two people interact, and one of them has an emotional reaction while the other doesn’t, the unaffected person has more social power. We don’t have weird emotional reactions to homeless people. Unless we are crazy* like a certain PUA guru who wanted to kill some homeless kids outside of yoshinoya*. So the very act of being someone who gets her to have an emotional reaction( good or bad) is attractive.
7. Identity. Who you are and what you do, can and should help your game. Every couple of bootcamps, I will have a DR or a firefighter who never tells women what they do. This is a mistake. Every Identity can be conveyed in a way that will make women more attracted to you. It all comes down to how you ground it and describe it to a woman’s model of the world.
8. Lifestyle. The type of life you live, that you would be bringing a woman into can be attractive. You should be actively conveying what she can expect if she were to become you’re girlfriend. Will she be sitting at home all the time watching you eat KFC? Or will she enter a world where she is whisked away to a cool party with awesome people. Does she enter a bottle service party where the man she desires is surrounded by other women? Or is she whisked away to the top of a mountain on an amazing hike. Where can she expect to be with you? Wealth DHVs would also fit in here.

So that's where attraction switches have come from and where we currently are, this is by no means a complete list and I would love to see you guys come up with some more suggestions.



  1. JimSmith5:34 PM

    kinoing her, making her feel good about herself (mutual value escalation). Usually i like to do it through future projections of us being celebs, or her being a little princess and then i am her prince. lol

  2. Anonymous1:07 AM

    9. Pre-selected by Gay guys.
    Because WTF, competition is competition, baby.
    This also shows a willingness to walk (to the other side of the fence!!)

    10. Leader of Gay Dudes.
    If you were on an island with all men, would you naturally be the tribal leader? If you're not, you're not getting laid!
    Not only are you preselected, but you're the leader. And that's FABULOUS!

  3. Anonymous11:18 PM

    whoah, the last one can be a little harder if you're not rich. i'm a student and I work all the time too but i definetly can't afford bottle service. i spen my time doing a lot of intellectual things like read about politics, although i also love movies and good rock shows (although the latter don't exactly happen every day). hmm, does bar-hopping count?

  4. Curiously, can attraction switches be accidently turned off later in a relationship like if your having a bad day or you make a mistake. I have seen this happen in my current relationship. How would you reverse that?

  5. Anonymous2:30 AM

    are you trying to get the girl into bed OR get into a relationship with her?

    also i don't understand why you need any social proof whatsoever.

    bladelaw from wash dc lair has a much better model - two switches

    1) escalate kino
    2) isolation context/logistics.

    personally i'd add - give her emotions.

    however all of the rest you write about is 'guys who sucked with women coming up with reasons to justify them not getting pussy for so long' i.e. they need to rationalize that it must be tough and that's why i didn't get any.

  6. smooth= able to handle logistics
    phone number, day two, seduction

    dominant- will put people in their place.

    knowledgable without being a know it all

  7. Anonymous12:59 PM

    "I don't understand why you need any social proof whatsoever"

    WOW, then you are missing probably the most important attraction switch of all and have not walked in through a room with a solid HB9 on your arm...

    Not trolling - but kino alone will not take you to great heights.

    I'd suggest reading books on Evo-Psych to gain a full perspective.