Knowing pickup theory without applying it infield will make you worse than the average guy.
A guy who has normal social skills with women and knows nothing about pickup will get laid more than a guy who just reads forums all day and buys every product out there and doesn't apply it. You will be so in your head about what to do when you are actually talking to a girl since you have all this information and no actual experiences applying it. Here at Sinns of Attraction it is recommended at least 2 hours infield for every hour spent studying. I know Brad P teaches the same doctrine.
Members of the "underground dating community" seem to have a problem with being honest about you where you are in the process(newbies especially). If you can't hold a regular conversation with a member of your peers then you surely aren't going to be able to pickup a attractive women. A lot of new guys will say stuff such as "I'm good man, I just need to work on SNL's or In venues, etc". You need to start at the basics and then work to where you want to be. You need to have a goal whether it be a steady girlfriend or dating multiple women. I was doing the harem thing for a while myself and now I have been enjoying night game as it allows me a good chance to get SNL's, while still casually dating other women. I know Sinn prefers day game, since it allows him the chance to game very attractive girls with ease without the loud music or drunk people around and being up till early morning hours.
When I first found this community I had the dilemma where I wanted results now, and not later. Realistically, you have to understand that it is a process and the results will come with time. For a more indepth look at the process of mastering something I highly recommend the book "Mastery by George Leonard". When you first start pickup you need to be going out as often as possible and opening as many sets as possible and taking them as far as possible. Also making small incremental steps is important. Instead of going for the lay when your a newbie with a girl at the club/bar. Go out and practice until you get your numbers. Then work on your phone and text game and getting dates. Then practice your day2's until you get your lays. Then maybe work on SNL's (if you want) after you have those things down. These things can take time, and you will go through a lot of plateaus and peaks, as long as you enjoy the process and stick with it, the results will come.
There is no rush to try to be some amazing pickup guy overnight. I myself am still improving parts of my game and I know others who are better than me are also. It's a process and not just something that you will be magically awesome at after a couple months of going out. You need to make incremental steps. I just started playing basketball for fun and I don't drive the net and try to juke guys out when I can't even dribble that well yet. I am still working on my fundamentals and with consistent practice I'm confident down the road I will be able to make the more "sexy" lay ups and jukes.
Another big problem that I see in alot of students is making excuses for not opening. If you have serious AA and are absolutely horrified about opening a set, thats fine, as long as you are honest with yourself, it can be fixed. If you say I have AA I can't open her, thats fine, if you were in bootcamp I would take you and do state drills and then we would try to reopen again or try a easier set. There is something to work with when you are honest with yourself. If you lie and say "they aren't my type, I don't want to open them", your just stuck where you are, not making any progress. Don't make excuses, if there is no one in the club but a group of girls who aren't that attractive you can still open them and talk to them and work on routines (if you use routines) and just get warmed up. Just talking to anyone will help with your social skills in general. I talk to random people all the time, even at a gas station or the mall. Not just hot chicks, but socializing with people that I run into everyday.
As far as information overload, I know a guy who can tell you what to do in any situation for pickup. He can't hold a girls attention for more than 5 mintues to save his life, but he could dissect the shit out of your set. If you're the guy who knows every nerd term and what to do in every situation but has severe AA, cant hold eye contact and no one can hear you, it's not going to do any good. The guy I know can probublary lecture for a hour on how to open, the angle to open, every different type of opener, and every other little thing but can't actually open. I see people that know pickup theory in bars and clubs and they just hover and make excuses for why not to open. "she isn't my type" "she's with that guy I think" "She is moving, cant open her", etc. If you are one of these guys, you need to stop reading all material and go out consistently for a month and then see where you are and go from there. During this month dont sign on or look at any forum or read any pickup related material. As far as guys who say "well, I don't like the club girls." I poise the question "Why would you go to the club then?" If you don't want a club girl, dont go to the club, go the mall, join a softball league, join a book club, go to the beach, the mall, a art show, etc. There are unlimited options on where to meet women. If you were to join some type of club that is girl relevent with women in it, it is going to be way easier than cold approaching at a bar or club anyways. A exception would be if you are a newbie bars and clubs are going to be good for just getting a sheer number of sets in and to work on your AA. There is no excuse to not get infield. It would be cool if we could just read about pickup, go out and open one set with a 9 in it, and have her be our gf, it isn't realistic though.
In the Marine Corps we were taugh KISS, keep it simple stupid. Just keep it simple, read the basics, then go out and apply them in your sets. Then get blown out and learn, when you are a kid learning to ride a bike you dont fall one time and quit. You fall then get back up , then fall, then get back up, until you get your bearings. Then after you can ride you can start to learn tricks on your bike if you wish.
Alot of guys are afraid of the dreaded "blowout". As far as blowouts are concerned I like blowouts, it helps me deal and get accustomed to social pressure and re-enforces the belief I don't care what people think about me. After you are calibrated and have been going out a while you can see if you are about to get blown out. You can then eject yourself and just reopen later in the night.
Once you become competent in pickup, its time to figure out what you want, not what someone else wants. I know alot of guys that all they want is a girlfriend, thats fine. Some guys dont want SNL's and threesomes,etc. That is perfectly fine. You would be more inclined to day game if this is your approach and I would suggest you get your Day 2's and then when a girl meets the criteria you want in a women, you can date her. Not everyone needs to have a harem. It's actually alot of drama and can be very stressful. It also is really cool though too ;). When Sinn teaches a bootcamp he has the students write a list of what qualities they want in a woman. You can then qualify and screen the girl based on these qualities. That way you are actually dating a girl that you actually like. What a concept...
If the girl is really hot, you can always make exceptions for some of the criteria tho ;).
** I highly suggest all newbies to read the Game Acceleration Doctrine, its on sinns blog for free.
Alex- SOA Instructor
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
RHWOC: Queen Bees and WannaBees Applied Part 3 of 4: Gretchen Rossi
Welcome back to the only blog that mixes seduction tips, with horrible Reality TV content.
Today, I want to talk about another personality type in QBs and WBs. The Target.
"The Target:
She is the girl who is set up to be humiliated, made fun of or excluded. These are your typical “Losers”. Girls are generally outside of the clique when they are targeted but could become targets if they challenge the Queen Bee. Sometimes these girls pre-empt the rejection by first rejecting everyone by saying they don’t like anyone."
When Gretchen joined the show there were problems from the start...
Gretchen was married to a man named Jeff who was significantly older than her and dying of Leukemia. Then there was this whole controversy between her and Tamra about whether or not Gretchen was actually in a relationship with Jeff, gold digging Jeff, or paid help to take care of Jeff. This can all be researched with a google search but came to a head during the premiere of season 5 AKA the first episode of this show I ever saw.
The Tamra/Gretchen confrontation at dinner has to be seen to be believed but is highlighted by Tamra, calling Gretchen a whore and then telling her that she(Tamra) doesn;t have pictures of herself on the internet with vibrators in her whoo-hoo or some other such cutesy euphemism for vagina... Really you have to see it to believe it.
Tamra and Gretchen also have conflict because of their similarities. Both are outgoing, attention loving blondes, who use their sexuality and flirting to captivate people. They're both fairly vulgar and are equally comfortable flirting with guys or girls...
Gretchen is targeted by most of the girls for various reasons ranging from her choice of BF( The ALWAYS awesome Slade Smiley) to her "copying" of Tamra's motorcycle. In fact in a few days when I post my RHWOC social heirarchy, you'll see that both her and Lynne are outsiders or "Losers" within the overall structure of the group, until Alexis is added and the numbers swing things from Vicki's favor to Alexis'.
Gretchen strikes back at Tamra with the following blog post which again has to be seen to be believed read it HERE
So obviously couple that blog post, with her being Alexis sidekick during the Vicki confrontation at Waterbar and you can clearly see that Gretchen has played two roles on the show. She started as a traget when the group was composed of Jeana, Vicki, Tamra, Gretchen and Lynne. Then when Alexis replaced Jeana who was neutral but had known Vicki longer thus being a default member of team Vicki, Gretchen became a sidekick to Alexis' QB. This is a BRILLANT decision on Gretchen's part. Because she is not the QB nor the one starting the attack on Vicki, she can attack Vicki without repurcussions. Plus if it fails, everyone will blame Alexis, not Gretchen. So socially she has raised her status no matter what happens between Vicki and Alexis.
Tomor, I'll talk about Tamra and explore why she and Gretchen butted heads to begin with.
JS- The King Of Content
Today, I want to talk about another personality type in QBs and WBs. The Target.
"The Target:
She is the girl who is set up to be humiliated, made fun of or excluded. These are your typical “Losers”. Girls are generally outside of the clique when they are targeted but could become targets if they challenge the Queen Bee. Sometimes these girls pre-empt the rejection by first rejecting everyone by saying they don’t like anyone."
When Gretchen joined the show there were problems from the start...
Gretchen was married to a man named Jeff who was significantly older than her and dying of Leukemia. Then there was this whole controversy between her and Tamra about whether or not Gretchen was actually in a relationship with Jeff, gold digging Jeff, or paid help to take care of Jeff. This can all be researched with a google search but came to a head during the premiere of season 5 AKA the first episode of this show I ever saw.
The Tamra/Gretchen confrontation at dinner has to be seen to be believed but is highlighted by Tamra, calling Gretchen a whore and then telling her that she(Tamra) doesn;t have pictures of herself on the internet with vibrators in her whoo-hoo or some other such cutesy euphemism for vagina... Really you have to see it to believe it.
Tamra and Gretchen also have conflict because of their similarities. Both are outgoing, attention loving blondes, who use their sexuality and flirting to captivate people. They're both fairly vulgar and are equally comfortable flirting with guys or girls...
Gretchen is targeted by most of the girls for various reasons ranging from her choice of BF( The ALWAYS awesome Slade Smiley) to her "copying" of Tamra's motorcycle. In fact in a few days when I post my RHWOC social heirarchy, you'll see that both her and Lynne are outsiders or "Losers" within the overall structure of the group, until Alexis is added and the numbers swing things from Vicki's favor to Alexis'.
Gretchen strikes back at Tamra with the following blog post which again has to be seen to be believed read it HERE
So obviously couple that blog post, with her being Alexis sidekick during the Vicki confrontation at Waterbar and you can clearly see that Gretchen has played two roles on the show. She started as a traget when the group was composed of Jeana, Vicki, Tamra, Gretchen and Lynne. Then when Alexis replaced Jeana who was neutral but had known Vicki longer thus being a default member of team Vicki, Gretchen became a sidekick to Alexis' QB. This is a BRILLANT decision on Gretchen's part. Because she is not the QB nor the one starting the attack on Vicki, she can attack Vicki without repurcussions. Plus if it fails, everyone will blame Alexis, not Gretchen. So socially she has raised her status no matter what happens between Vicki and Alexis.
Tomor, I'll talk about Tamra and explore why she and Gretchen butted heads to begin with.
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, March 01, 2010
RHWOC: Queen Bees and WannaBees Applied Part 2 of 4: Alexis Bellino
Getting some good feedback on this stuff here.
I'm glad you guys are enjoying some real Female Psychology, but I've been getting a few comments about how reading this makes you hate women...
Seriously guys?
First of all the behavior we're talking about is NOT all women! It's a specific subset of women that happen to be unusually attractive(except in Vicki's case) and thus through the heirarchies involved in adolescent girl living act a certain way.
The reason this stuff is interesting is that most community guys are obsessed with "club girls." Some even demean them as people by calling them "club skanks." yet still try to hook up with them. Personally, I've been there and done that. I prefer a smarter more career/school focused girl, which is why I meet most of the girls I date long term during the day time.
Anywho, don't apply this sort of material to all women, instead use it as a guide to decipher why a certain type of girl ( Queen Bee, Sidekick, Target) is acting the way she is.
Allright on to the next RHWOC; Alexis Bellino ( If that is her real name).
Alexis joined the cast this year during the 5th season, in fact she was the first Real Housewife that has gotten introduced since I started to watch the show regularly.
Alexis has been called "Jesus Barbie" by the writer of the Pretty On The Outside RHWOC blog which is hysterical and can be found HERE
Alexis and her sloth like husband Jim have three kids and two nannies. And Alexis calls herself a stay at home Mom CONSTANTLY. She also talks about how she works out for 3 hrs a day 7 days a week. Oh and did we mention that her and her husband have taken vows to keep " God first, our marriage second and our children third."
That's normal...
Jim is gross. He's a sleazy pawn loan guy( I only know this because I googled him, Alexis dodges questions about his job like the Matrix) who dresses in Ed Hardy clothes made for someone 25 years younger. He also treats Alexis like a possession, he gives her direct commands and often tells her to stop being stupid... Like for real. It's pretty trippy to watch it. What does QBS and WBS say about this? Glad you asked:
" Getting validation from boys boosts a girl’s self esteem and confirms that she fits into the Act Like a Woman box. Girls understand that their social status and identity are tied to relationships with boys."
"Girls may sacrifice boundaries and defy common sense to please boys.
In trying to please a boy she may betray and sacrifice her relationship with other girls."
Alexis is interesting because she is a typical Queen Bee, like every other woman on this show, but she makes no effort to fir in to the already formed Vicki-Centric Social Hierarchy. In fact she makes it known at the beginning during the La Perla fashion show that she doesn't expect to become friend with Vicki.
Alexis also is super hot... By far the hottest housewife... And she has HUGE fake boobs... Like comically large. I love them... And she shows them off constantly while talking about how Jim and her have spent one night apart in 6 years and she isn't allowed to travel without him.
This becomes a huge issue and one of the first things that makes Alexis a Queen Bee.
On the ill fated Ft Lauderdale trip that Vicki planned as a girls only weekend, Alexis was the first to say she couldn't come without Jim. This was actually before another incident we'll talk about in a second involving Alexis and a cute girl who looked like Wynnona Ryder talking to Jim.
As we learned in Queen Bees and Wannabees young girls learn at a very early age that
"Girls can blow their female friends off to hang out with a boy and as long as they apologize their friends will always take them back. This is dangerous because it teaches girls that their friendships are less important than their romantic relationships."
In this way Vicki is actually an atypical Queen Bee, because she puts work, her daughter, and many other things before her relationship with her husband Donn (Who is TOTALLY the only normal person on the show.) This is where the seeds of her conflict with Alexis are sown.
The next interesting incident involves Jim and this cute Winnona Ryder looking girl chatting fairly innocently at a get together at Gretchen's. Alexis flips the fuck out and tells the girl to stop talking to her husband and back off. This leads to a huge scene. Until Jim eventually tells her the conversation is over. In those exact words. I'm surprised he didn't tell her to go to her room...
Let's look at Alexis' Qualities in Relation to what we know about QBs:
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want- Not so much in this group, but it could be because of her newness and the other girls personalities. For example she couldn't end the blood feud between Tamra and Gretchen. But I think they'd need Jesse Jackson for that shit.
She is not intimidated by other girls- She goes after Vicki at Waterbar in San Fransisco after several incidents like the texting thing at dinner and the snoring at Lynne's.
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive- Haven't seen this yet from Alexis, but the fake christianity might be hiding it.
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention- Alexis definitely tries to make herself the center of attention as much as possible. Leading to several altercations with Vicki.
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included- Anyone except Jim.
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends- She has tried this with both Tamra and Gretchen. It seems to be working with Gretchen, Tamra is still Team Vicki.
She’s strategically affectionate- She's gotta pay for those diamonds and botox somehow right?
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings- Definitely shirked responsibility for the whole " Bitch betta stay away from my man!" scene.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so- Absolutely as she warned Vicki to watch out at the reunion show a few weeks ago...
Whether by plot, or happenstance Vicki VS Alexis is looming as a showdown of both QBs. Vicki basically ran away, cried, talked about how her daughter might have cancer to deflect the fact that she told Alexis to bring it on before running and then even invited back Jeana( An original housewife Vicki Shit talked to death) to talk about how bitchy the new girls are.
I would say Alexis staged a small coup at The Waterbar as she got Gretchen, and Tamra to agree with her and attack Vicki as a group, much the same way girls gang up on boys in early adolescense:
" When Girls Get Mad At Guys
The most common way girls confront boys is with other girls at their side for support. This publicly humiliates the guy without her even realizing she’s doing it. It also weakens the girl's personal power as she is not standing up for herself but using group think to express her feelings, this sets her up to become a pushover when alone."
Now the question is will Alexis be able to stand up to Vicki one on one and claim the Conch shell as the QB of OC
Only time will tell...
JS- The King Of Content
PS: Tomor I'll be back with a piece on Gretchen and her feud with Tamra as well as how they and the rest of the girls fit in within an overall hierarchy.
I'm glad you guys are enjoying some real Female Psychology, but I've been getting a few comments about how reading this makes you hate women...
Seriously guys?
First of all the behavior we're talking about is NOT all women! It's a specific subset of women that happen to be unusually attractive(except in Vicki's case) and thus through the heirarchies involved in adolescent girl living act a certain way.
The reason this stuff is interesting is that most community guys are obsessed with "club girls." Some even demean them as people by calling them "club skanks." yet still try to hook up with them. Personally, I've been there and done that. I prefer a smarter more career/school focused girl, which is why I meet most of the girls I date long term during the day time.
Anywho, don't apply this sort of material to all women, instead use it as a guide to decipher why a certain type of girl ( Queen Bee, Sidekick, Target) is acting the way she is.
Allright on to the next RHWOC; Alexis Bellino ( If that is her real name).
Alexis joined the cast this year during the 5th season, in fact she was the first Real Housewife that has gotten introduced since I started to watch the show regularly.
Alexis has been called "Jesus Barbie" by the writer of the Pretty On The Outside RHWOC blog which is hysterical and can be found HERE
Alexis and her sloth like husband Jim have three kids and two nannies. And Alexis calls herself a stay at home Mom CONSTANTLY. She also talks about how she works out for 3 hrs a day 7 days a week. Oh and did we mention that her and her husband have taken vows to keep " God first, our marriage second and our children third."
That's normal...
Jim is gross. He's a sleazy pawn loan guy( I only know this because I googled him, Alexis dodges questions about his job like the Matrix) who dresses in Ed Hardy clothes made for someone 25 years younger. He also treats Alexis like a possession, he gives her direct commands and often tells her to stop being stupid... Like for real. It's pretty trippy to watch it. What does QBS and WBS say about this? Glad you asked:
" Getting validation from boys boosts a girl’s self esteem and confirms that she fits into the Act Like a Woman box. Girls understand that their social status and identity are tied to relationships with boys."
"Girls may sacrifice boundaries and defy common sense to please boys.
In trying to please a boy she may betray and sacrifice her relationship with other girls."
Alexis is interesting because she is a typical Queen Bee, like every other woman on this show, but she makes no effort to fir in to the already formed Vicki-Centric Social Hierarchy. In fact she makes it known at the beginning during the La Perla fashion show that she doesn't expect to become friend with Vicki.
Alexis also is super hot... By far the hottest housewife... And she has HUGE fake boobs... Like comically large. I love them... And she shows them off constantly while talking about how Jim and her have spent one night apart in 6 years and she isn't allowed to travel without him.
This becomes a huge issue and one of the first things that makes Alexis a Queen Bee.
On the ill fated Ft Lauderdale trip that Vicki planned as a girls only weekend, Alexis was the first to say she couldn't come without Jim. This was actually before another incident we'll talk about in a second involving Alexis and a cute girl who looked like Wynnona Ryder talking to Jim.
As we learned in Queen Bees and Wannabees young girls learn at a very early age that
"Girls can blow their female friends off to hang out with a boy and as long as they apologize their friends will always take them back. This is dangerous because it teaches girls that their friendships are less important than their romantic relationships."
In this way Vicki is actually an atypical Queen Bee, because she puts work, her daughter, and many other things before her relationship with her husband Donn (Who is TOTALLY the only normal person on the show.) This is where the seeds of her conflict with Alexis are sown.
The next interesting incident involves Jim and this cute Winnona Ryder looking girl chatting fairly innocently at a get together at Gretchen's. Alexis flips the fuck out and tells the girl to stop talking to her husband and back off. This leads to a huge scene. Until Jim eventually tells her the conversation is over. In those exact words. I'm surprised he didn't tell her to go to her room...
Let's look at Alexis' Qualities in Relation to what we know about QBs:
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want- Not so much in this group, but it could be because of her newness and the other girls personalities. For example she couldn't end the blood feud between Tamra and Gretchen. But I think they'd need Jesse Jackson for that shit.
She is not intimidated by other girls- She goes after Vicki at Waterbar in San Fransisco after several incidents like the texting thing at dinner and the snoring at Lynne's.
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive- Haven't seen this yet from Alexis, but the fake christianity might be hiding it.
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention- Alexis definitely tries to make herself the center of attention as much as possible. Leading to several altercations with Vicki.
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included- Anyone except Jim.
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends- She has tried this with both Tamra and Gretchen. It seems to be working with Gretchen, Tamra is still Team Vicki.
She’s strategically affectionate- She's gotta pay for those diamonds and botox somehow right?
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings- Definitely shirked responsibility for the whole " Bitch betta stay away from my man!" scene.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so- Absolutely as she warned Vicki to watch out at the reunion show a few weeks ago...
Whether by plot, or happenstance Vicki VS Alexis is looming as a showdown of both QBs. Vicki basically ran away, cried, talked about how her daughter might have cancer to deflect the fact that she told Alexis to bring it on before running and then even invited back Jeana( An original housewife Vicki Shit talked to death) to talk about how bitchy the new girls are.
I would say Alexis staged a small coup at The Waterbar as she got Gretchen, and Tamra to agree with her and attack Vicki as a group, much the same way girls gang up on boys in early adolescense:
" When Girls Get Mad At Guys
The most common way girls confront boys is with other girls at their side for support. This publicly humiliates the guy without her even realizing she’s doing it. It also weakens the girl's personal power as she is not standing up for herself but using group think to express her feelings, this sets her up to become a pushover when alone."
Now the question is will Alexis be able to stand up to Vicki one on one and claim the Conch shell as the QB of OC
Only time will tell...
JS- The King Of Content
PS: Tomor I'll be back with a piece on Gretchen and her feud with Tamra as well as how they and the rest of the girls fit in within an overall hierarchy.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Ugh soo swamped today. Real Housewive blog coming tomor!
Sooo busy today and tomor too but I will find time to finish my new post on Alexis or Jesus Barbie as she is sometimes called by awesome blogs on the internet.
I'm like halfway done but there's some really good stuff I want to get to, and I have a date in a little bit and some videos to finish recording...
Tomor, tomor, I'll post it tomor.
JS- The King Of Content
I'm like halfway done but there's some really good stuff I want to get to, and I have a date in a little bit and some videos to finish recording...
Tomor, tomor, I'll post it tomor.
JS- The King Of Content
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
RealHousewives Of Orange County: Queen Bees and WannaBees Applied Part 1 of 4: Vicki Gunvalson
The Real Housewives Of Orange County is one of my favorite shows.
I am a self admitted lover of dramatic reality TV, and while I do believe the shows are heavily edited and possibly even a bit scripted, they still offer a fascinating glimpse into the psychology of grown up party girls. These are women who are used to having high social value, some of them are high self esteem, other are low self esteem but have tons of sexual confidence. But no matter what, the ways they interact, talk to and about each other, and use reputations and gossip for revenge is fascinating from a social psychology standpoint.
Yesterday I posted 12 pages of notes from Rosalind Wiseman's Amazing book Queen Bees and Wannabees. I posted them in a rough fashion, because I figured it would be much more interesting to show you how these sorts of cliques, bullying, reputations, gossiping and more play out in "real" life. So I'll be taking a detailed look at every cast member of RHWOC and where they fit in the QB and WB heirarchy.
So today I wanted to start out the series with a look at Vicki Gunvalson.
Why Vicki?
It's certainly not because she's the hottest(Alexis), or the most interested in marketing herself and being a pseudo-celebrity(Gretchen), it's because Vicki is the most popular and wields the most social power.
Don't believe me?
Every episode of RHWOC features a poll where viewers text in votes, EVERY single time Vicki is in a confrontation with another housewife almost 70% of people side with Vicki. Plus as you can see from her blog Vicki Blog She has a lot of supporters in her 558 comments...
Vicki is also the Queen Bee because she utilizes the most tools of bullying. To put it mildly Vicki is a controlling bitch.
Let's look at the Definition of a Queen Bee Applied to Vicki:
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want- A constant thread on the show is the fighting between Vicki and Tamra's husband Simon. Why? According to Simon because his (soon to be ex) wife does everything Vicki tells her, and Vicki wants their relationship to be like hers. On the show you can consistently see Vicki getting Tamra to trash her husband as well as do other peer pressurey things.
She is not intimidated by other girls- Best demonstrated in last week's episode where Alexis brought up Vicki's verbal cutting and asked her if she really wanted to have that conversation to which Vicki replied " Bring it on."
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive- Vicki consistently says she's just joking and the other girls are being too sensitive. This was best shown during a recent dinner party scene where all of the couples were discussing how they met. During Alexis and Jim's story Vicki and her husband Don both pretended to snore. Loudly. When confronted she said it was a joke and told Alexis to "lighten up."
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention- See the above story and Vicki's freak out when she scheduled a girls get away and the husbands came along unannounced.
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included- Vicki is pretty good at arguing considering she manages some 800 insurance agents and is constantly fighting with both male and female cast memebers...
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends- Her and Tamra definitely have their own special BFF clique. They go out of their way to give Lynne a hard time during her first season, same with Gretchen.
She’s strategically affectionate- Vicki doles out the I love you's when she wants something, but in return she wants Tamra to swear that she's "got her back" and won't talk about her...
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings- Vicki constantly dodges responsibility by alternately hiding behind the "Just Kidding" defense:
"Why just Joking is Never Funny:
When someone says something mean and then says “ Just kidding” they’re hurting you and then denying your right to be upset. This is supermanipulative. Worse, girls can then threaten to break up with their friends. Girls are forced to either bury their emotions to keep their friends or lose their friends."
Or she says manipulates facts about what she meant when she said other things entirely, as evidenced by her talking about how none of the other husbands besides Don had jobs and then saying she meant that Alexis didn't work (which is true). One thing's for sure, nothing is EVER Vicki's fault.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so- Absolutely Vicki constantly talks about how she has to defend herself when she's really talking about revenge.
She's most well known for her verbal "Cutting" or mean teasing as it is defined in QBS and WBs
"Mean Teasing: Teasing is done to make you feel bad, insecure and embarrassed, you’re teased about something others know you feel insecure about, if you defend yourself you’re blown off for being “ too sensitive” or for “ not being able to take a joke.” If you tell them to stop, they tease you more."
Vicki constantly talks about how she is the only one of the girls that works, which while pretty much true still clearly falls into the area of something these women would be upset about. Especially with all the stories of Bankruptcy, Tax Liens, Divorces, and Death settlements between this group...
Vicki also has utilized power plays by avoiding the group in FT Lauderdale because the husbands had come along, she canceled plans and then made plans with another couple she knew thus creating a better offer situation for the other housewives who had come down to FT Lauderdale to hang out with Vicki.
All in All Vicki is the most typical/atypical type of Queen Bee of the cast. She personifies more of the characteristics than any other woman yet because of her looks she doesn't seem to be the center of attention of the show, even though she clearly is. Which of course is the Queen Bees biggest strength " She always gets what she wants, without looking like she's trying."
JS- The King Of Content
I am a self admitted lover of dramatic reality TV, and while I do believe the shows are heavily edited and possibly even a bit scripted, they still offer a fascinating glimpse into the psychology of grown up party girls. These are women who are used to having high social value, some of them are high self esteem, other are low self esteem but have tons of sexual confidence. But no matter what, the ways they interact, talk to and about each other, and use reputations and gossip for revenge is fascinating from a social psychology standpoint.
Yesterday I posted 12 pages of notes from Rosalind Wiseman's Amazing book Queen Bees and Wannabees. I posted them in a rough fashion, because I figured it would be much more interesting to show you how these sorts of cliques, bullying, reputations, gossiping and more play out in "real" life. So I'll be taking a detailed look at every cast member of RHWOC and where they fit in the QB and WB heirarchy.
So today I wanted to start out the series with a look at Vicki Gunvalson.
Why Vicki?
It's certainly not because she's the hottest(Alexis), or the most interested in marketing herself and being a pseudo-celebrity(Gretchen), it's because Vicki is the most popular and wields the most social power.
Don't believe me?
Every episode of RHWOC features a poll where viewers text in votes, EVERY single time Vicki is in a confrontation with another housewife almost 70% of people side with Vicki. Plus as you can see from her blog Vicki Blog She has a lot of supporters in her 558 comments...
Vicki is also the Queen Bee because she utilizes the most tools of bullying. To put it mildly Vicki is a controlling bitch.
Let's look at the Definition of a Queen Bee Applied to Vicki:
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want- A constant thread on the show is the fighting between Vicki and Tamra's husband Simon. Why? According to Simon because his (soon to be ex) wife does everything Vicki tells her, and Vicki wants their relationship to be like hers. On the show you can consistently see Vicki getting Tamra to trash her husband as well as do other peer pressurey things.
She is not intimidated by other girls- Best demonstrated in last week's episode where Alexis brought up Vicki's verbal cutting and asked her if she really wanted to have that conversation to which Vicki replied " Bring it on."
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive- Vicki consistently says she's just joking and the other girls are being too sensitive. This was best shown during a recent dinner party scene where all of the couples were discussing how they met. During Alexis and Jim's story Vicki and her husband Don both pretended to snore. Loudly. When confronted she said it was a joke and told Alexis to "lighten up."
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention- See the above story and Vicki's freak out when she scheduled a girls get away and the husbands came along unannounced.
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included- Vicki is pretty good at arguing considering she manages some 800 insurance agents and is constantly fighting with both male and female cast memebers...
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends- Her and Tamra definitely have their own special BFF clique. They go out of their way to give Lynne a hard time during her first season, same with Gretchen.
She’s strategically affectionate- Vicki doles out the I love you's when she wants something, but in return she wants Tamra to swear that she's "got her back" and won't talk about her...
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings- Vicki constantly dodges responsibility by alternately hiding behind the "Just Kidding" defense:
"Why just Joking is Never Funny:
When someone says something mean and then says “ Just kidding” they’re hurting you and then denying your right to be upset. This is supermanipulative. Worse, girls can then threaten to break up with their friends. Girls are forced to either bury their emotions to keep their friends or lose their friends."
Or she says manipulates facts about what she meant when she said other things entirely, as evidenced by her talking about how none of the other husbands besides Don had jobs and then saying she meant that Alexis didn't work (which is true). One thing's for sure, nothing is EVER Vicki's fault.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so- Absolutely Vicki constantly talks about how she has to defend herself when she's really talking about revenge.
She's most well known for her verbal "Cutting" or mean teasing as it is defined in QBS and WBs
"Mean Teasing: Teasing is done to make you feel bad, insecure and embarrassed, you’re teased about something others know you feel insecure about, if you defend yourself you’re blown off for being “ too sensitive” or for “ not being able to take a joke.” If you tell them to stop, they tease you more."
Vicki constantly talks about how she is the only one of the girls that works, which while pretty much true still clearly falls into the area of something these women would be upset about. Especially with all the stories of Bankruptcy, Tax Liens, Divorces, and Death settlements between this group...
Vicki also has utilized power plays by avoiding the group in FT Lauderdale because the husbands had come along, she canceled plans and then made plans with another couple she knew thus creating a better offer situation for the other housewives who had come down to FT Lauderdale to hang out with Vicki.
All in All Vicki is the most typical/atypical type of Queen Bee of the cast. She personifies more of the characteristics than any other woman yet because of her looks she doesn't seem to be the center of attention of the show, even though she clearly is. Which of course is the Queen Bees biggest strength " She always gets what she wants, without looking like she's trying."
JS- The King Of Content
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Queen Bees and WannaBees- The Evolution of Club Girl Psychology
Queen Bees and WannaBees By Rosalind Wiseman is not only the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" with Lindsay Lohan, it's also the first realistic, no holds barred, no sugarcoating book about how girls grow up and become socialized into the superficial world of popularity and beauty, which inevitably leads to cliques, fights, boy drama and all the fun stuff that we as guys have all been left scratching our heads and wondering about.
This book is by far the best thing I've ever read on female psychology as well as the overall psychology of club girls and "9s and 10s".
Below you'll find over 12 pages of notes and quotes that I found fascinating from the book. But to really show you how applicable this book is to modern life, tomor I'll be starting a four part series where I take the ideas taught in Queen Bee and WannaBees and show you how they apply in real life conflicts with my favorite ridiculous Orange County Housewives, as that cast has 4 Queen Bees and a whole lot of powerplays, fake apologies, and text dirty bombs. All of which can be explained through the social Heirarchies and lessons in QBs and WBS.
So enjoy the notes today, and tomor I'll have part one of QBs and WBs applied: a portrait of the most unapologetic Queen Bee in all of TV Land Vicki Gundvalsen.
Enjoy my notes:
Chapter 1: Technology, The Media , And Girl World
How People Of All Ages Act Online:
1.They do things online they wouldn’t do in real life.
2.People fight differently through technology than they would in real life.
3.Information is quicker to disseminate online.
4.People post personal information despite knowing it can become public.
5.Technology fans the flames of paranoia. Inspires people to think EVERYONE is looking at them.
6.They are addicted to being connected. Technology provides a constantly updating picture of everyone’s life.
Sexting: Girls Betraying Themselves.
Sexting generally starts as a way to impress older boys and can even happen in the middle of a normal family environment. Thus sexting becomes a secret thrill. Technology becomes a buffer where a girl can try to impress a guy with her sexuality without fear of getting pressured to have sex right then and there.
Chapter 2: Is It Really Happening So Much Younger?
Cliques, Girlworld, bullying, bystanding etc… All begin anywhere from age 7 to 11.
Girls begin being selectively truthful with parents.
Girls aren’t just mean to other girls, they can be just as cruel as boys.
Using Web technology to be mean can start this young
By the time girls are in 4th and 5th grade they cite Youtube as the website they go to most often.
By fourth grade there will be girls in every class going through puberty
There will also be girls becoming boy crazy in 4th grade as well.
Inside jokes, secret languages, and clubs are normal but become hurtful because they begin as harmless fun.
What’s The Difference between Good Teasing and Bad Teasing?
Good Teasing: You feel liked by the teaser, you don’t feel the teaser’s intention is to put you down, the teasing would stop if you decide you don’t like it and say something.
Unintentional Bad Teasing: You don’t like it, the teaser doesn’t know you don’t like it or dismisses your feelings, If you tell them to stop they do.
Mean Teasing: Teasing is done to make you feel bad, insecure and embarrassed, you’re teased about something others know you feel insecure about, if you defend yourself you’re blown off for being “ too sensitive” or for “ not being able to take a joke.” If you tell them to stop, they tease you more.
Why just Joking is Never Funny:
When someone says something mean and then says “ Just kidding” they’re hurting you and then denying your right to be upset. This is supermanipulative. Worse, girls can then threaten to break up with their friends. Girls are forced to either bury their emotions to keep their friends or lose their friends.
Social Dynamics Become a Real Factor in Girls Lives as early as Carpools.
Chapter 3: Cliques and Popularity
Cliques reinforce girls bond’s with they’re friends, they also weaken bonds with parents as they teach girls to turn to and exclusively depend on the members of this clique when she’s in trouble. As a result girls become simultaneously self aware and off center morally. The Worst thing a girl can learn from a clique is that it’s more important to maintain a relationship at all costs regardless of how they are treated within the relationship.
Popularity: For some girls, popularity is magical, it conveys an unmatched sense of power, girls assume if they can achieve it all their problems will go away, some girls become obsessed and measure and report about they’re popularity daily, Others dismiss it as ridiculous, still others are angry and deny they care even though they often do.
Girls deny cliques when asked about them in public classrooms. When asked to write about it in secrecy all girls admit cliques and a social hierarchy of “coolness” exists. Cliques silence girls from telling the truth about popularity cliques etc, this is where what TD once called the secret society is born.
Popular girls like any other priviledged group of individuals don’t recognize their priviledge because they are blind to it. They literaly cannot see what it's like to live any other kind of life except the one of priviledge and popularity. This also explains why it's soo hard for pretty popular girls to understand why guys need courses to meet women.
Good Popularity Versus Mean Popularity:
Good popularity occurs when a girl is genuinely liked.
Bad popularity happens when the other girls are grateful when she is nice to them and terrified when she’s angry.
The Queen Bee and her Court:
The Queen Bee- The Epitome of teen girl perfection. Through a combination of money, charisma, force, looks, will and social intelligence this girl reigns supreme and weakens other girls friendships with others, thus strengthening her power and influence.
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want
She is not intimidated by other girls
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive.
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included.
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends.
She’s strategically affectionate.
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so.
The Sidekick:
She’s the lieutenant or second in command. The Queen Bee and Sidekick are often the first interested in boys and are often interested in older boys. Sidekicks also can stage a coup and become the Queen Bee. She is jealous of anyone else being the Queen Bees friend. The Queen Bee is her authority figure, She feels like it’s just her and the Queen Bee and everyone else is a wannabe
The Banker:
Information about people is currency in girl world. Whoever has the most information is known as the Banker. She creates chaos by banking information about girls in her social sphere and dispensing it at strategic intervals. She can cause conflict and strengthen her status at the same time. She can get girls to trust her because she doesn’t pump them for information in a gossipy way but in an I’m there for you way. She is extremely secretive, she thinks in complex strategic ways, she’s rarely the subject of fights, and she’s rarely excluded from the group.
The Messenger:
The messenger trades information and gossip about others but she differs in that her motivation is to reconcile the conflict. She hopes to gain recognition and social power. She lives for drama and is obvious about it, she loves to “help” people out when they are fighting, she gets an adrenaline rush from being in the middle of conflict. She feels better about herself when other girls come to her for help.
The Pleaser/Wannabe :
This person will do almost anything to be in the group or gain favor from the queen bee or sidekick. She often observes and imitates their behavior, clothes, and interests but never feels completely in the group. As a result she can lose sight of what is important to her. Other girls opinions are more important to her than her own. Her opinions on dress, style and fashion are constantly changing according to what the Queen Bee does and says. She has trouble developing personal boundaries and communicating them to others. She can’t tell the difference between what she wants and what the group wants. She’s desperate to have the right look. She’ll stop doing the things she likes because she fears the clique’s disapproval. She avoids conflict her standard response is "Whatever you want, it doesn’t matter to me. “
The Torn Bystander:
She doesn’t want to go against the group but wants to help the target of the bullying. She always finds herself in situations where she has to choose between her friends, she tries to accommodate everyone, she’s not good at saying no to her friends, she wants everyone to get along.
The Target:
She is the girl who is set up to be humiliated, made fun of or excluded. These are your typical “Losers”. Girls are generally outside of the clique when they are targeted but could become targets if they challenge the Queen Bee. Sometimes these girls pre-empt the rejection by first rejecting everyone by saying they don’t like anyone.
Teenage Girls Description of High Social Status:
The Act Like A Woman Box: What society and their friends expect them to be to be cool and "feminine"
Pretty
Popular
Thin but with the right curves
Good Hair
Athletic but not bulky
Confident
Money
Right Brands of Clothing
Cell Phones, etc
In Control
Smart but not too intense about it
Guys think you’re hot
Low Social Status: Outside The Box
Tries Too hard
Gay/Dyke/Lez
Inexperienced with guys
Bad Skin
Fat
Too Masculine
Poor
Uptight
Wrong style/clothes
Slut
Disabilities
Passionate about uncool things
Chapter 5 The Beauty Pageant: Who wants to be Miss Congeniality?
Beauty’s Impact: Adolescense is a beauty pageant.
Issues of beauty for girls start at a really young age. 8 year olds have strong opinions on who is and isn’t beautiful.
Girls are constantly comparing themselves with each other.
Most girls will not admit what they like about themselves physically in fear of being labeled vain.
Girls obsess over anything they don’t like about their appearance.
Girls need constant reassurance from each other that they look good and fit in.
Girls know the media holds them up to an impossible standard of beauty but that doesn’t stop them from holding themselves to it as well.
The way a girl chooses to mark herself from piercings to hair to brands identify how she sees herself and what group she belongs to. It also reveals her relationship to the Act like a Woman box.
Miss Congeniality:
When girls are among friends, they put themselves down and compliment their friends. Girls must degrade themselves after being complimented as to not appear vain. Girls also must leap to another girls defense when they put themselves down, so that other girls will do the same for them. Girls must be aware of not doing this too much or it will look like they are begging for compliments all the time.
Chapter 6: Mean Girls: Teasing, Gossiping and Reputations.
99.99% of girls gossip
Girls will almost always blame their behavior on something or someone else.
Once they’re over 12 they have been called and called other girls sluts/bitches and worse
Technology increases the power and damage of gossip
What Girls Like About Their Friendships with other girls:
Be Yourself
Tell her Anything
Trust her
Depend on her for support
Be Silly
Hang Out
Share Clothes and Secrets
What Girls Don’t like About their friendships with other girls:
Talk behind your back
Gossip about you
Be two faced
Be jealous
Be competitive
Be critical
Be judgmental
Tell Your Secrets
Be a tagalong
Take your boyfriend
Make you choose friends
Betray you
Reputations:
Gossip causes reputations.
Reputations are dangerous because girls can get them for nothing and eventually they do influence her sense of self.
Reputations Girls Talk About:
Drama Queen: Has to be the center of attention, she decides what boys like what girls, etc… She is bossy.
Girly Girl: Loves pink and possibly purple, wants to be a princess, hates dirt, interested in fashion, clothes and princesses.
Suck Up: Untrustworthy and annoying. Often enforces rules and judgments.
Tomboy: Prefers to hang out with the boys and do activities with them.
Perfect Girl: Everyone thinks she is perfect while she feels like a fraud and fears that any moment someone will remove the curtain and expose her. Tries hard to avoid mistakes and is impossibly hard on herself. Finds fault with herself easily and never thinks she is doing enough. Either avoids drugs because she fears a loss of control or binges to escape the pressure she’s under.
Guy’s Girl: Insists she gets along better with guys because women girls are too dramatic. Guy’s girl’s back up boys when they argue about politics or gender issues. She pretends she isn’t attached to boys often she ends up treating herself like a sex object. She tells herself she’s powerful to sleep at night.
Preppy:Likes school, always has a boyfriend, is on all the committees etc.
Emo/Goth Girl:Black hair dye, dark music, cynical and morose.
Social Climber: Constantly changes herself to fit in with the girls she emulates and the guys she likes. She looks to others for her opinions. Behind her back people laugh at her for trying too hard.
The Slut:Girls get accused of two things acting like a slut and being a slut. The fear of being accused of acting like a slut controls girls actions in particular situation. Acting like a slut is a label a girl gets from her appearance and behavior in public.
Chapter 7: Power Plays and Politics: Speaking The Truth In Girl World.
Power Plays teach girls to dismiss their own feelings. The person is mad but she feels like she can’t complain about it.
Power plays occur when girls reinforce their power without leaving concrete evidence of their actions.
Rules Of Anger In Girl World
Internalize it and suffer silently
Laugh it off to convince yourself you don’t have to take your feelings seriously.
Give the person the silent treatment until they ask what’s wrong, then respond with
nothing or it’s fine. Get mad at the person for not being able to read your mind.
Finally ask for the behavior to stop but the other person dismisses it with:
You can’t take a joke, you’re uptight, a bitch, or I’m just sarcastic.
Internalize until you explode in tears/screaming.
Have a “ You have no idea who you’re messing with" attitude and try to destroy everyone
Verbally or physically fight
Use drugs or alcohol to deaden emotions.
Chapter 8 : Boy World
Femininity:
Dictionary Definiton: The quality of nature of the female sex
Girl World Definition: You have a great body, guys like you, you’re not a prude, but you’re not a slut, you’re in control, not uptight, and smart enough to get people to do what you want them to without them even noticing.
Masculinity:
Dictionary Definition: The qualities or appearance traditionally associated with a man; for example strength and aggressiveness.
Boy World Definition: Nothing is ever serious. You don’t make an bvious effort for anything, especially not for the right style or body ( If it’s not effortless and your goal is to look good, you’ll be called gay) you laugh off emotional and physical pain. The right girls like you, and you like all the attention the girls give you. You’re competitive about everything and by five years of age you can discuss sports, or cars with authority.
Act Like A Man Box:
Strong
Verbal
Tall
Tough
Athletic
Likes Girls
Girls Like Him
Money
Funny (Nothing is serious)
Good Style
Good at video games but not obsessed
Outside the Box (Losers):
Backs Down
Weak
Short
Poor
Acts like a girl/effeminate/flamboyant
Whipped
Awkward
Gay
Snitch
When Girls Get Mad At Guys?
The most common way girls confront boys is with other girls at their side for support. This publicly humiliates the guy without her even realizing she’s doing it. It also weakens the girl's personal power as she is not standing up for herself but using group think to express her feelings, this sets her up to become a pushover when alone.
Chapter 9: Girl World Meets Boy World
Around 12 years old girls bonding often extends beyond navigating their friendships with other girls to include boys.
If one girl is more boy crazy than her friends this will strain their friendship.
At some point girls will act less capable/smart etc around a boy they like.
Her friends will see that be embarrassed for her and then talk behind her back
Girls often communicate unclearly with boys because they don’t want to ruin the relationship.
Girls will have crushes on people who don’t treat her or others well. She’ll know this but won’t stop liking the other person.
Crushes
Typical descriptions of crushes:
“ I get butterflies in my stomach.”
“ I get so excited, I can’t breathe, and then I start to giggle uncontrollably. It’s humiliating and also fun at the same time.”
“I’m so nervous. I’m sure I’ll do or say something stupid.”
Obsessions
Why are girls obsessed with celebrities?
It’s easier to fall in love with someone you have no actual chance of meeting. That way you are free to fall in love as intensely as you want without having to deal with all the unnerving feelings of sexuality.
Chapter 10: Pleasing Boys, Betraying Yourself
Getting validation from boys boosts a girl’s self esteem and confirms that she fits into the Act Like a Woman box. Girls understand that their social status and identity are tied to relationships with boys.
Girls may sacrifice boundaries and defy common sense to please boys.
In trying to please a boy she may betray and sacrifice her friendships with girls.
At some point most girls will lie, connive and or backstab to get the boy they want.
Technology encourages girls to present themselves in ever increasingly sexual ways to prove their not uptight and to get boy attention.
Dating Vs Hooking Up- Dating is one on one and rare. Hooking up covers everything from literally hanging out to having sex.
Queen Bees have dating immunity, but are careful to date someone who fits into the Act like a man box to protect her image.
Group approval is most important when it comes to dating. There’s even pressure for a girl to discount her feelings and standards to date someone who superficially looks good even if he doesn’t treat her well.
When Boys are the better offer.
Girls can blow their female friends off to hang out with a boy and as long as they apologize their friends will always take them back. This is dangerous because it teaches girls that their friendships are less important than their romantic relationships.
Boyfriend Stealing:
Girls friendships can be broken by boys which can have two negative repurcussions, when girls don’t trust each other, they lose out on lasting friendships and miss out on watching out for each other.
Communicating with Boys:
Girls define a great relationship as one in which the other person knows what you’re thinking and you can finish each others sentences, you’re totally in sync with each other. This is essential to girls’ closest friendships and they expect it with the boys they like. When they don’t get it, they feel betrayed. They want to be understood without having to explain everything.
Chapter 11: Sex Drugs and Partying in Girl World
Teens Trust one another, at parties it’s common for girls to meet someone she doesn’t know well but feels she knows well because they go to nearby schools or have friends in common. In these situations it’s common for girls to trust someone she shouldn’t
Girls love having a reputation for having a high tolerance for alcohol, and will drink themselves silly to prove it.
Pregaming is a sacred ritual where girls get together to eat, get dressed and dance. They don’t eat because it makes it harder to get drunk.
The postgame analysis is also a sacred ritual where girls eat, discuss who got together with whom, who humiliated themselves and who got totally wasted.
Ok That should wrap up the notes, as well as sicken everyone that this kind of thinking and acting starts so young and is so common among young women. Now at least it explains why girls act like that in clubs and bars etc though right?
Talk to ya tomor when I show you how these various elements come to fruition in real life( or at least Reality TV)
JS- The King Of Content
This book is by far the best thing I've ever read on female psychology as well as the overall psychology of club girls and "9s and 10s".
Below you'll find over 12 pages of notes and quotes that I found fascinating from the book. But to really show you how applicable this book is to modern life, tomor I'll be starting a four part series where I take the ideas taught in Queen Bee and WannaBees and show you how they apply in real life conflicts with my favorite ridiculous Orange County Housewives, as that cast has 4 Queen Bees and a whole lot of powerplays, fake apologies, and text dirty bombs. All of which can be explained through the social Heirarchies and lessons in QBs and WBS.
So enjoy the notes today, and tomor I'll have part one of QBs and WBs applied: a portrait of the most unapologetic Queen Bee in all of TV Land Vicki Gundvalsen.
Enjoy my notes:
Chapter 1: Technology, The Media , And Girl World
How People Of All Ages Act Online:
1.They do things online they wouldn’t do in real life.
2.People fight differently through technology than they would in real life.
3.Information is quicker to disseminate online.
4.People post personal information despite knowing it can become public.
5.Technology fans the flames of paranoia. Inspires people to think EVERYONE is looking at them.
6.They are addicted to being connected. Technology provides a constantly updating picture of everyone’s life.
Sexting: Girls Betraying Themselves.
Sexting generally starts as a way to impress older boys and can even happen in the middle of a normal family environment. Thus sexting becomes a secret thrill. Technology becomes a buffer where a girl can try to impress a guy with her sexuality without fear of getting pressured to have sex right then and there.
Chapter 2: Is It Really Happening So Much Younger?
Cliques, Girlworld, bullying, bystanding etc… All begin anywhere from age 7 to 11.
Girls begin being selectively truthful with parents.
Girls aren’t just mean to other girls, they can be just as cruel as boys.
Using Web technology to be mean can start this young
By the time girls are in 4th and 5th grade they cite Youtube as the website they go to most often.
By fourth grade there will be girls in every class going through puberty
There will also be girls becoming boy crazy in 4th grade as well.
Inside jokes, secret languages, and clubs are normal but become hurtful because they begin as harmless fun.
What’s The Difference between Good Teasing and Bad Teasing?
Good Teasing: You feel liked by the teaser, you don’t feel the teaser’s intention is to put you down, the teasing would stop if you decide you don’t like it and say something.
Unintentional Bad Teasing: You don’t like it, the teaser doesn’t know you don’t like it or dismisses your feelings, If you tell them to stop they do.
Mean Teasing: Teasing is done to make you feel bad, insecure and embarrassed, you’re teased about something others know you feel insecure about, if you defend yourself you’re blown off for being “ too sensitive” or for “ not being able to take a joke.” If you tell them to stop, they tease you more.
Why just Joking is Never Funny:
When someone says something mean and then says “ Just kidding” they’re hurting you and then denying your right to be upset. This is supermanipulative. Worse, girls can then threaten to break up with their friends. Girls are forced to either bury their emotions to keep their friends or lose their friends.
Social Dynamics Become a Real Factor in Girls Lives as early as Carpools.
Chapter 3: Cliques and Popularity
Cliques reinforce girls bond’s with they’re friends, they also weaken bonds with parents as they teach girls to turn to and exclusively depend on the members of this clique when she’s in trouble. As a result girls become simultaneously self aware and off center morally. The Worst thing a girl can learn from a clique is that it’s more important to maintain a relationship at all costs regardless of how they are treated within the relationship.
Popularity: For some girls, popularity is magical, it conveys an unmatched sense of power, girls assume if they can achieve it all their problems will go away, some girls become obsessed and measure and report about they’re popularity daily, Others dismiss it as ridiculous, still others are angry and deny they care even though they often do.
Girls deny cliques when asked about them in public classrooms. When asked to write about it in secrecy all girls admit cliques and a social hierarchy of “coolness” exists. Cliques silence girls from telling the truth about popularity cliques etc, this is where what TD once called the secret society is born.
Popular girls like any other priviledged group of individuals don’t recognize their priviledge because they are blind to it. They literaly cannot see what it's like to live any other kind of life except the one of priviledge and popularity. This also explains why it's soo hard for pretty popular girls to understand why guys need courses to meet women.
Good Popularity Versus Mean Popularity:
Good popularity occurs when a girl is genuinely liked.
Bad popularity happens when the other girls are grateful when she is nice to them and terrified when she’s angry.
The Queen Bee and her Court:
The Queen Bee- The Epitome of teen girl perfection. Through a combination of money, charisma, force, looks, will and social intelligence this girl reigns supreme and weakens other girls friendships with others, thus strengthening her power and influence.
The Queen Bee:
Friends do what they want
She is not intimidated by other girls
She complains about other people copying her, never leaving her alone, or being too sensitive.
When she’s hanging in a group she’s the center of attention
She can argue everyone down, parents, teachers included.
She makes other girls feel special by anointing them special friends.
She’s strategically affectionate.
She won’t take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings.
If she thinks she’s been wronged she feels she has the rights to seek revenge and will do so.
The Sidekick:
She’s the lieutenant or second in command. The Queen Bee and Sidekick are often the first interested in boys and are often interested in older boys. Sidekicks also can stage a coup and become the Queen Bee. She is jealous of anyone else being the Queen Bees friend. The Queen Bee is her authority figure, She feels like it’s just her and the Queen Bee and everyone else is a wannabe
The Banker:
Information about people is currency in girl world. Whoever has the most information is known as the Banker. She creates chaos by banking information about girls in her social sphere and dispensing it at strategic intervals. She can cause conflict and strengthen her status at the same time. She can get girls to trust her because she doesn’t pump them for information in a gossipy way but in an I’m there for you way. She is extremely secretive, she thinks in complex strategic ways, she’s rarely the subject of fights, and she’s rarely excluded from the group.
The Messenger:
The messenger trades information and gossip about others but she differs in that her motivation is to reconcile the conflict. She hopes to gain recognition and social power. She lives for drama and is obvious about it, she loves to “help” people out when they are fighting, she gets an adrenaline rush from being in the middle of conflict. She feels better about herself when other girls come to her for help.
The Pleaser/Wannabe :
This person will do almost anything to be in the group or gain favor from the queen bee or sidekick. She often observes and imitates their behavior, clothes, and interests but never feels completely in the group. As a result she can lose sight of what is important to her. Other girls opinions are more important to her than her own. Her opinions on dress, style and fashion are constantly changing according to what the Queen Bee does and says. She has trouble developing personal boundaries and communicating them to others. She can’t tell the difference between what she wants and what the group wants. She’s desperate to have the right look. She’ll stop doing the things she likes because she fears the clique’s disapproval. She avoids conflict her standard response is "Whatever you want, it doesn’t matter to me. “
The Torn Bystander:
She doesn’t want to go against the group but wants to help the target of the bullying. She always finds herself in situations where she has to choose between her friends, she tries to accommodate everyone, she’s not good at saying no to her friends, she wants everyone to get along.
The Target:
She is the girl who is set up to be humiliated, made fun of or excluded. These are your typical “Losers”. Girls are generally outside of the clique when they are targeted but could become targets if they challenge the Queen Bee. Sometimes these girls pre-empt the rejection by first rejecting everyone by saying they don’t like anyone.
Teenage Girls Description of High Social Status:
The Act Like A Woman Box: What society and their friends expect them to be to be cool and "feminine"
Pretty
Popular
Thin but with the right curves
Good Hair
Athletic but not bulky
Confident
Money
Right Brands of Clothing
Cell Phones, etc
In Control
Smart but not too intense about it
Guys think you’re hot
Low Social Status: Outside The Box
Tries Too hard
Gay/Dyke/Lez
Inexperienced with guys
Bad Skin
Fat
Too Masculine
Poor
Uptight
Wrong style/clothes
Slut
Disabilities
Passionate about uncool things
Chapter 5 The Beauty Pageant: Who wants to be Miss Congeniality?
Beauty’s Impact: Adolescense is a beauty pageant.
Issues of beauty for girls start at a really young age. 8 year olds have strong opinions on who is and isn’t beautiful.
Girls are constantly comparing themselves with each other.
Most girls will not admit what they like about themselves physically in fear of being labeled vain.
Girls obsess over anything they don’t like about their appearance.
Girls need constant reassurance from each other that they look good and fit in.
Girls know the media holds them up to an impossible standard of beauty but that doesn’t stop them from holding themselves to it as well.
The way a girl chooses to mark herself from piercings to hair to brands identify how she sees herself and what group she belongs to. It also reveals her relationship to the Act like a Woman box.
Miss Congeniality:
When girls are among friends, they put themselves down and compliment their friends. Girls must degrade themselves after being complimented as to not appear vain. Girls also must leap to another girls defense when they put themselves down, so that other girls will do the same for them. Girls must be aware of not doing this too much or it will look like they are begging for compliments all the time.
Chapter 6: Mean Girls: Teasing, Gossiping and Reputations.
99.99% of girls gossip
Girls will almost always blame their behavior on something or someone else.
Once they’re over 12 they have been called and called other girls sluts/bitches and worse
Technology increases the power and damage of gossip
What Girls Like About Their Friendships with other girls:
Be Yourself
Tell her Anything
Trust her
Depend on her for support
Be Silly
Hang Out
Share Clothes and Secrets
What Girls Don’t like About their friendships with other girls:
Talk behind your back
Gossip about you
Be two faced
Be jealous
Be competitive
Be critical
Be judgmental
Tell Your Secrets
Be a tagalong
Take your boyfriend
Make you choose friends
Betray you
Reputations:
Gossip causes reputations.
Reputations are dangerous because girls can get them for nothing and eventually they do influence her sense of self.
Reputations Girls Talk About:
Drama Queen: Has to be the center of attention, she decides what boys like what girls, etc… She is bossy.
Girly Girl: Loves pink and possibly purple, wants to be a princess, hates dirt, interested in fashion, clothes and princesses.
Suck Up: Untrustworthy and annoying. Often enforces rules and judgments.
Tomboy: Prefers to hang out with the boys and do activities with them.
Perfect Girl: Everyone thinks she is perfect while she feels like a fraud and fears that any moment someone will remove the curtain and expose her. Tries hard to avoid mistakes and is impossibly hard on herself. Finds fault with herself easily and never thinks she is doing enough. Either avoids drugs because she fears a loss of control or binges to escape the pressure she’s under.
Guy’s Girl: Insists she gets along better with guys because women girls are too dramatic. Guy’s girl’s back up boys when they argue about politics or gender issues. She pretends she isn’t attached to boys often she ends up treating herself like a sex object. She tells herself she’s powerful to sleep at night.
Preppy:Likes school, always has a boyfriend, is on all the committees etc.
Emo/Goth Girl:Black hair dye, dark music, cynical and morose.
Social Climber: Constantly changes herself to fit in with the girls she emulates and the guys she likes. She looks to others for her opinions. Behind her back people laugh at her for trying too hard.
The Slut:Girls get accused of two things acting like a slut and being a slut. The fear of being accused of acting like a slut controls girls actions in particular situation. Acting like a slut is a label a girl gets from her appearance and behavior in public.
Chapter 7: Power Plays and Politics: Speaking The Truth In Girl World.
Power Plays teach girls to dismiss their own feelings. The person is mad but she feels like she can’t complain about it.
Power plays occur when girls reinforce their power without leaving concrete evidence of their actions.
Rules Of Anger In Girl World
Internalize it and suffer silently
Laugh it off to convince yourself you don’t have to take your feelings seriously.
Give the person the silent treatment until they ask what’s wrong, then respond with
nothing or it’s fine. Get mad at the person for not being able to read your mind.
Finally ask for the behavior to stop but the other person dismisses it with:
You can’t take a joke, you’re uptight, a bitch, or I’m just sarcastic.
Internalize until you explode in tears/screaming.
Have a “ You have no idea who you’re messing with" attitude and try to destroy everyone
Verbally or physically fight
Use drugs or alcohol to deaden emotions.
Chapter 8 : Boy World
Femininity:
Dictionary Definiton: The quality of nature of the female sex
Girl World Definition: You have a great body, guys like you, you’re not a prude, but you’re not a slut, you’re in control, not uptight, and smart enough to get people to do what you want them to without them even noticing.
Masculinity:
Dictionary Definition: The qualities or appearance traditionally associated with a man; for example strength and aggressiveness.
Boy World Definition: Nothing is ever serious. You don’t make an bvious effort for anything, especially not for the right style or body ( If it’s not effortless and your goal is to look good, you’ll be called gay) you laugh off emotional and physical pain. The right girls like you, and you like all the attention the girls give you. You’re competitive about everything and by five years of age you can discuss sports, or cars with authority.
Act Like A Man Box:
Strong
Verbal
Tall
Tough
Athletic
Likes Girls
Girls Like Him
Money
Funny (Nothing is serious)
Good Style
Good at video games but not obsessed
Outside the Box (Losers):
Backs Down
Weak
Short
Poor
Acts like a girl/effeminate/flamboyant
Whipped
Awkward
Gay
Snitch
When Girls Get Mad At Guys?
The most common way girls confront boys is with other girls at their side for support. This publicly humiliates the guy without her even realizing she’s doing it. It also weakens the girl's personal power as she is not standing up for herself but using group think to express her feelings, this sets her up to become a pushover when alone.
Chapter 9: Girl World Meets Boy World
Around 12 years old girls bonding often extends beyond navigating their friendships with other girls to include boys.
If one girl is more boy crazy than her friends this will strain their friendship.
At some point girls will act less capable/smart etc around a boy they like.
Her friends will see that be embarrassed for her and then talk behind her back
Girls often communicate unclearly with boys because they don’t want to ruin the relationship.
Girls will have crushes on people who don’t treat her or others well. She’ll know this but won’t stop liking the other person.
Crushes
Typical descriptions of crushes:
“ I get butterflies in my stomach.”
“ I get so excited, I can’t breathe, and then I start to giggle uncontrollably. It’s humiliating and also fun at the same time.”
“I’m so nervous. I’m sure I’ll do or say something stupid.”
Obsessions
Why are girls obsessed with celebrities?
It’s easier to fall in love with someone you have no actual chance of meeting. That way you are free to fall in love as intensely as you want without having to deal with all the unnerving feelings of sexuality.
Chapter 10: Pleasing Boys, Betraying Yourself
Getting validation from boys boosts a girl’s self esteem and confirms that she fits into the Act Like a Woman box. Girls understand that their social status and identity are tied to relationships with boys.
Girls may sacrifice boundaries and defy common sense to please boys.
In trying to please a boy she may betray and sacrifice her friendships with girls.
At some point most girls will lie, connive and or backstab to get the boy they want.
Technology encourages girls to present themselves in ever increasingly sexual ways to prove their not uptight and to get boy attention.
Dating Vs Hooking Up- Dating is one on one and rare. Hooking up covers everything from literally hanging out to having sex.
Queen Bees have dating immunity, but are careful to date someone who fits into the Act like a man box to protect her image.
Group approval is most important when it comes to dating. There’s even pressure for a girl to discount her feelings and standards to date someone who superficially looks good even if he doesn’t treat her well.
When Boys are the better offer.
Girls can blow their female friends off to hang out with a boy and as long as they apologize their friends will always take them back. This is dangerous because it teaches girls that their friendships are less important than their romantic relationships.
Boyfriend Stealing:
Girls friendships can be broken by boys which can have two negative repurcussions, when girls don’t trust each other, they lose out on lasting friendships and miss out on watching out for each other.
Communicating with Boys:
Girls define a great relationship as one in which the other person knows what you’re thinking and you can finish each others sentences, you’re totally in sync with each other. This is essential to girls’ closest friendships and they expect it with the boys they like. When they don’t get it, they feel betrayed. They want to be understood without having to explain everything.
Chapter 11: Sex Drugs and Partying in Girl World
Teens Trust one another, at parties it’s common for girls to meet someone she doesn’t know well but feels she knows well because they go to nearby schools or have friends in common. In these situations it’s common for girls to trust someone she shouldn’t
Girls love having a reputation for having a high tolerance for alcohol, and will drink themselves silly to prove it.
Pregaming is a sacred ritual where girls get together to eat, get dressed and dance. They don’t eat because it makes it harder to get drunk.
The postgame analysis is also a sacred ritual where girls eat, discuss who got together with whom, who humiliated themselves and who got totally wasted.
Ok That should wrap up the notes, as well as sicken everyone that this kind of thinking and acting starts so young and is so common among young women. Now at least it explains why girls act like that in clubs and bars etc though right?
Talk to ya tomor when I show you how these various elements come to fruition in real life( or at least Reality TV)
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, February 22, 2010
Alex On State
Here's an article by Alex, he'll be writing guest articles every so often on the blog as will other guys I'm working with/ training as I build my Marlo Stansfieldesque team of "Semper Fi Muthafuckas" so stay tuned for that... Inside joke explained below
Here's the article
-------------------------------------
State
Alright guys here's my first article its on state. ***credit TD and Sinn for a lot of this.
So what is state?
State is the emotions that you're in at the time. If you're leaning against the wall with a drink to your chest, not approaching, your state is bad. If you're in your head second guessing yourself, you're state is bad. You need to do things that push your comfort zone in order to gain state. Having a good emotional state while you are out socializing with women is very important.
Limitations -
There are limitations to state, it isn't the magic pill to get you laid. You need to practice pushing your interactions, qualifying, and the other checkpoints along the pickup. With that said, state is very important and can play a major part in how your interactions go. If your state is bad, the girls will pick up on it and you will most likely be blown out. Unless your hitting on Ugly girls, they dont usually mind haha :).
Here's My Personal State checklist -
-Say hi to everyone on the way to the bar/club
-If I see something I like on someone I will compliment them, man or woman
-pushups on the dance floor (very good for newbies)
-singing to yourself
-smile, high fives
-dancing
-funny labels/ self amusement
-people watching, making references to people. *example - was at bar and my friend was talking to a guy who looked like cat stevens with long beard and hair, so his nickname was cat stevens the rest of the night.
note - a lot of the most absurd things you can do to gain state should be done away from the area/venue that you will be talking to girls in.
Things that mess with your state (what people that are unhappy do)
- thinking of what can go wrong/negative thinking
-not having goals or a sense of purpose
-taking drugs
-eating shitty
- Being a couch potato
There are 4 ways your state is moving
positive moving towards negative
positive going positive
negative going negative
positive going negative
We always want to aim to be heading toward the positive as it's the most useful state for meeting women!
*Consistency is key, do your warmups, do your state drills*
Things in the club that can create a negative state and should thus be ignored:
-not opening- Obvious but the longer you wait, the worse your approach anxiety and state become.
-talking game- Another obvious one, the time to strategize and reflect is later.
-phone addiction- Avoid texting fbs, friends, checking your email compulsively etc..
-laps of doom- Wandering around the club aimlessly "Looking for sets."
-hovering- Getting close to the girls you want to talk to but not opening.
-asking friend for permission to open sets- Attempting to draw state from others or get permission for your behavior.
Every time that you see a opportunity to get in state and you don't, you will lose state. You need to consciously practice trying to get out of your head and keeping a good state at the bar. Because state is 100% under our control, and has a huge positive benefit, you are only hurting yourself by not getting into state EVERY time you go out.
Alex-Junior Instructor Sinns Of Attraction
Here's the article
-------------------------------------
State
Alright guys here's my first article its on state. ***credit TD and Sinn for a lot of this.
So what is state?
State is the emotions that you're in at the time. If you're leaning against the wall with a drink to your chest, not approaching, your state is bad. If you're in your head second guessing yourself, you're state is bad. You need to do things that push your comfort zone in order to gain state. Having a good emotional state while you are out socializing with women is very important.
Limitations -
There are limitations to state, it isn't the magic pill to get you laid. You need to practice pushing your interactions, qualifying, and the other checkpoints along the pickup. With that said, state is very important and can play a major part in how your interactions go. If your state is bad, the girls will pick up on it and you will most likely be blown out. Unless your hitting on Ugly girls, they dont usually mind haha :).
Here's My Personal State checklist -
-Say hi to everyone on the way to the bar/club
-If I see something I like on someone I will compliment them, man or woman
-pushups on the dance floor (very good for newbies)
-singing to yourself
-smile, high fives
-dancing
-funny labels/ self amusement
-people watching, making references to people. *example - was at bar and my friend was talking to a guy who looked like cat stevens with long beard and hair, so his nickname was cat stevens the rest of the night.
note - a lot of the most absurd things you can do to gain state should be done away from the area/venue that you will be talking to girls in.
Things that mess with your state (what people that are unhappy do)
- thinking of what can go wrong/negative thinking
-not having goals or a sense of purpose
-taking drugs
-eating shitty
- Being a couch potato
There are 4 ways your state is moving
positive moving towards negative
positive going positive
negative going negative
positive going negative
We always want to aim to be heading toward the positive as it's the most useful state for meeting women!
*Consistency is key, do your warmups, do your state drills*
Things in the club that can create a negative state and should thus be ignored:
-not opening- Obvious but the longer you wait, the worse your approach anxiety and state become.
-talking game- Another obvious one, the time to strategize and reflect is later.
-phone addiction- Avoid texting fbs, friends, checking your email compulsively etc..
-laps of doom- Wandering around the club aimlessly "Looking for sets."
-hovering- Getting close to the girls you want to talk to but not opening.
-asking friend for permission to open sets- Attempting to draw state from others or get permission for your behavior.
Every time that you see a opportunity to get in state and you don't, you will lose state. You need to consciously practice trying to get out of your head and keeping a good state at the bar. Because state is 100% under our control, and has a huge positive benefit, you are only hurting yourself by not getting into state EVERY time you go out.
Alex-Junior Instructor Sinns Of Attraction
Friday, February 19, 2010
Introducing a New Instructor for SOA: Alex
Hey,
Today I wanted to introduce one of the new guys working with us at SOA; Alex. Alex took the 12M2M program last year and after a slow start slept with over 27 women in 9 months.
Here's his bio:
Hey guys, I’m Alex and up until Dec 2008 I was very incompetent with women. I joined Sinn’s 12MtM program in Dec 2008 and started to consciously go out a lot and get this area of my life fixed. Through a lot of sets and receiving coaching from Sinn I now consistently get good results.
When I entered high school I was shy and introverted. When I was in high school I didn’t have a girlfriend at all and didn’t even attend prom. I went into the Marine Corps after high school. After I deployed to Iraq I came back and I couldn’t understand that after being in a combat zone I still had anxiety talking to girls, and even if I could get in a conversation I was lost on what to do to move forward.
After I joined Sinn’s program only five months in I was getting really good results. There was a 15 day period in May where I got 7 SNL lays. I had other rolls last summer, one of which I had a week where I had 2 nights in a week where I had a in-venue and a SNL in the same night. (outdoor bathroom, then pulled another chick after back to my place, the other one I took a girl at a beach bar and went to beach and closed, then pulled another girl from same bar back to my place)
As of right now I am approach coaching for Sinn’s of Attraction and as for my personal life. On my rotation now I have 7 girls and 2 of them are in other states. I had 3 new lays last week, two were SNL, one was on valentines day so that may not count J . I will be posting articles soon so stay tuned…
-------------------------------
Monday I'll post an article from Alex on state.
Have a great weekend :)
JS- The King Of Content
Today I wanted to introduce one of the new guys working with us at SOA; Alex. Alex took the 12M2M program last year and after a slow start slept with over 27 women in 9 months.
Here's his bio:
Hey guys, I’m Alex and up until Dec 2008 I was very incompetent with women. I joined Sinn’s 12MtM program in Dec 2008 and started to consciously go out a lot and get this area of my life fixed. Through a lot of sets and receiving coaching from Sinn I now consistently get good results.
When I entered high school I was shy and introverted. When I was in high school I didn’t have a girlfriend at all and didn’t even attend prom. I went into the Marine Corps after high school. After I deployed to Iraq I came back and I couldn’t understand that after being in a combat zone I still had anxiety talking to girls, and even if I could get in a conversation I was lost on what to do to move forward.
After I joined Sinn’s program only five months in I was getting really good results. There was a 15 day period in May where I got 7 SNL lays. I had other rolls last summer, one of which I had a week where I had 2 nights in a week where I had a in-venue and a SNL in the same night. (outdoor bathroom, then pulled another chick after back to my place, the other one I took a girl at a beach bar and went to beach and closed, then pulled another girl from same bar back to my place)
As of right now I am approach coaching for Sinn’s of Attraction and as for my personal life. On my rotation now I have 7 girls and 2 of them are in other states. I had 3 new lays last week, two were SNL, one was on valentines day so that may not count J . I will be posting articles soon so stay tuned…
-------------------------------
Monday I'll post an article from Alex on state.
Have a great weekend :)
JS- The King Of Content
Thursday, February 18, 2010
How To Turn Friends Into Lovers...
Check it out, I put together a video explaining how to turn lovers into friends using my special 7 step Breakthrough Comfort Process.
Watch it HERE
JS-The King Of Content
Watch it HERE
JS-The King Of Content
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Psychology Behing GF Stealing
Hey there,
Today I wanted to dive into a rough outline of the psychology behind wanting to steal another guy's girl. Something I see very regularly in students and then in guys when they first become instructors or start having a decent amount of success with women.
But before I delve into that, I want to first acknowledge that I have been guilty of this before and may currently be sleeping with girls who have BFs I don't know about.
This is not some soapbox post about how you should only sleep with girls who are 1000% single. Nor some diatribe against sleeping with a girl in a relationship. Or girls who cheat on their BFs. I acknowledge that in reality these things sometimes happen whether or not you want them to.
Instead I want to look at what these kinds of actions say about the guy doing them...
It's become quite common in the community for guys to brag about how they can steal girls from guys. It's almost like they are some sort of bad-ass mercenary of game. They come rolling around and you better grab on to your girlfriend's hand or she'll be blowing MR new PUA guy in the bathroom like he's Bon Jovi. And it's not limited to the Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community as during his introduction on the first episode of The Jersey Shore Mike "The Situation" talked about how if he saw himself coming into a club he'd take his girlfriend and leave. He also later pulls " The robbery" on housemate Vinny by making out with a girl after Vinny made out with her. The situation is an awesome blend of overconfidence and insecurity hence the girl stealing...
In fact there is one guru who goes so far as to even claim he can steal ANYONE'S GF in under 90 seconds...
Again, whether or not those claims are true ( And let's face it most of them aren't) what does it say about a guy (guru or not) who brags about taking another guy's GF as if that somehow makes him cooler? Furthermore what does it say about you as a person that you buy products and bootcamps based on guys bragging about stealing other guy's GFs?
Let's look at the evolution of most of these guys ( And I won't name names but I think you can all figure it out). Most of them were unpopular or even picked on during their school years ( No judgment, I was picked on too). But instead of doing what I did and looking for ways to fit in with the people who were cooler than me and get their acceptance, these guys got angry and wanted to "show" the other people how wrong they were about them.
Then they went about their lives, always wanting to get back at those mean football players and cool kids in High School. But they never really consciously saw a way to do it until...
They find The Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community, and they learn all sorts of tactics and techniques. They're exposed to posts like Tyler Durden's "Secret Society" which details how all girls cheat and you just have to show them you're in the club of guys they will cheat with. Maybe you read some books like " My Secret Garden" or " Sperm Wars" which document all sorts of crazy female sexual behavior and now you believe that with your tight game you can STEAL any girl from ANY guy, because YOU know THE SECRET!!!
Insert maniacal nerd laugh here...
I should say something here; all of this really does depend on your goals. If your goal is to have a bunch of dudes on the internet think you're cool then talking about all the GFS you steal is a good way to go about it. If you want to have a bunch of meaningless one night stands, girls in relationships are a good way to go. If you want to start a relationship with a girl who has made it obvious she cheats on her Bfs again a good way to go. If that's what you want more power to you. I just think you're a loser :)
In my experience the best way to get back at people who were mean to you or show people you are valuable, is to create an AWESOME life for yourself while letting all that stuff remain in the past. I was a nerd in high school who got rejected by every girl I asked out all 4 years... I spent almost two years with a girl who cheated on me, and I had a horrible group of friends that made me the butt of their jokes causing majorly low self esteem. But I moved on, I figured out what I wanted in my life and I moved towards that. You can do the same. You don't need to take girls away from other guys in order to validate yourself as cooler or better than anyone else.
The whole community in general would be better without this kind of stuff as would locker rooms and anywhere else guys brag about this shit..
JS- The King Of Content
Today I wanted to dive into a rough outline of the psychology behind wanting to steal another guy's girl. Something I see very regularly in students and then in guys when they first become instructors or start having a decent amount of success with women.
But before I delve into that, I want to first acknowledge that I have been guilty of this before and may currently be sleeping with girls who have BFs I don't know about.
This is not some soapbox post about how you should only sleep with girls who are 1000% single. Nor some diatribe against sleeping with a girl in a relationship. Or girls who cheat on their BFs. I acknowledge that in reality these things sometimes happen whether or not you want them to.
Instead I want to look at what these kinds of actions say about the guy doing them...
It's become quite common in the community for guys to brag about how they can steal girls from guys. It's almost like they are some sort of bad-ass mercenary of game. They come rolling around and you better grab on to your girlfriend's hand or she'll be blowing MR new PUA guy in the bathroom like he's Bon Jovi. And it's not limited to the Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community as during his introduction on the first episode of The Jersey Shore Mike "The Situation" talked about how if he saw himself coming into a club he'd take his girlfriend and leave. He also later pulls " The robbery" on housemate Vinny by making out with a girl after Vinny made out with her. The situation is an awesome blend of overconfidence and insecurity hence the girl stealing...
In fact there is one guru who goes so far as to even claim he can steal ANYONE'S GF in under 90 seconds...
Again, whether or not those claims are true ( And let's face it most of them aren't) what does it say about a guy (guru or not) who brags about taking another guy's GF as if that somehow makes him cooler? Furthermore what does it say about you as a person that you buy products and bootcamps based on guys bragging about stealing other guy's GFs?
Let's look at the evolution of most of these guys ( And I won't name names but I think you can all figure it out). Most of them were unpopular or even picked on during their school years ( No judgment, I was picked on too). But instead of doing what I did and looking for ways to fit in with the people who were cooler than me and get their acceptance, these guys got angry and wanted to "show" the other people how wrong they were about them.
Then they went about their lives, always wanting to get back at those mean football players and cool kids in High School. But they never really consciously saw a way to do it until...
They find The Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community, and they learn all sorts of tactics and techniques. They're exposed to posts like Tyler Durden's "Secret Society" which details how all girls cheat and you just have to show them you're in the club of guys they will cheat with. Maybe you read some books like " My Secret Garden" or " Sperm Wars" which document all sorts of crazy female sexual behavior and now you believe that with your tight game you can STEAL any girl from ANY guy, because YOU know THE SECRET!!!
Insert maniacal nerd laugh here...
I should say something here; all of this really does depend on your goals. If your goal is to have a bunch of dudes on the internet think you're cool then talking about all the GFS you steal is a good way to go about it. If you want to have a bunch of meaningless one night stands, girls in relationships are a good way to go. If you want to start a relationship with a girl who has made it obvious she cheats on her Bfs again a good way to go. If that's what you want more power to you. I just think you're a loser :)
In my experience the best way to get back at people who were mean to you or show people you are valuable, is to create an AWESOME life for yourself while letting all that stuff remain in the past. I was a nerd in high school who got rejected by every girl I asked out all 4 years... I spent almost two years with a girl who cheated on me, and I had a horrible group of friends that made me the butt of their jokes causing majorly low self esteem. But I moved on, I figured out what I wanted in my life and I moved towards that. You can do the same. You don't need to take girls away from other guys in order to validate yourself as cooler or better than anyone else.
The whole community in general would be better without this kind of stuff as would locker rooms and anywhere else guys brag about this shit..
JS- The King Of Content
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I just got back from snowboarding..Again
Yo,
I'm back from Snow Valley which was like being beside a pool on a mountain.
I admit I'm a little obsessed and may even try to convince my friend to come with me during the week, again...
Anywho I will be writing about the psychology behind GF stealing and why it actually reveals more about the guy than the girl...
STay tuned.
JS- The King Of Content
I'm back from Snow Valley which was like being beside a pool on a mountain.
I admit I'm a little obsessed and may even try to convince my friend to come with me during the week, again...
Anywho I will be writing about the psychology behind GF stealing and why it actually reveals more about the guy than the girl...
STay tuned.
JS- The King Of Content
The # 1 PUA guest blog
Hey there,
I've been talking to a lot of guys about writing guest articles on the blog here and there, and today you're lucky to have a great article by the guy I named #2 PUA of the year Brad P.
Enjoy,
JS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone.
It’s Brad P., writing a guest post here on Sinn’s blog. Thanks so much to Sinn for giving me the platform to express myself here.
After reading Sinn’s Top Ten list, I’ve thought about things quite a bit, and this is the conclusion that I’ve come to:
You are living in the Golden Age of Pickup.
You are living in an age where extremely talented, intelligent men are willing to spend years of their lives testing pickup ideas out, weeding out the stuff that doesn’t work, compiling the best stuff, and handing it to you for almost nothing.
You are living in an age where you can sign up for a pickup workshop, and a trained expert with years and years of experience will fly into your town, setup all the best places to meet women, tell you everything he knows, approach women right in front of you, and coach you with every ounce of energy he has, so you can get better at pickup.
You are living in an age where you can join a year long program using a tested and proven curriculum, and have experienced seducers from all over the world willing to guide your journey and keep you focused.
Ten years ago, none of this would have been possible.
Ten years from now, this could all be gone.
This is why I believe 2010 is the Golden Age of Pickup.
As I read through Sinn’s Top Ten list, I see some guys on there who have a lot of talent. For the good of the community as a whole, I’d like to see all of these guys stay in the game! Retaining the talented coaches is the main factor that will make the Golden Age last longer.
Ten years ago there were no talented coaches. That’s why 2000 was not the Golden Age. Now, in 2010, we have a lot more good coaches, but we also have seen a lot of “big names” become inactive.
When I say “inactive,” that can mean a few different things. Some of the big names no longer teach at all. Some of them teach, but they don’t actually pick up chicks any more. Obviously, this is not good news.
But at least they have left behind a body of literature that will endure long after they have left the game. Ten years ago, there was no body of literature.
I believe 2010 will have the highest level of “active” talented coaches ever. As a student, I urge you to take advantage of this. Do not let it pass you by! Now is the time to do that workshop, join that program, start your approaches. Don’t be a casual observer. Make an honest effort to learn pickup the right way, by going into the field and applying the ideas the masters have handed down to you.
Don’t be the guy who sits in his room alone when he’s 68 years old and says “Yeah, I could have learned pickup from the best in the world, during the golden age, but I slacked on it.”
Don’t be that guy!
Don’t take the talent level for granted. Me, Sinn, and all the other good coaches will not be here forever. Someday we’re gonna get bored of endless pussy and take up some other interest. Someday we might get sick of teaching the same things over and over. Some day we might want to just live our lives without constant combat with student negativity.
Now I’d like to focus on a few improvements that could made so that the Golden Age gets even better, and lasts even longer.
First Suggestion- Worldwide KJ Day
This Keyboard Jockey phenomenon has got to end. It’s gotten really out of control.
It’s at the point now where I don’t even want to write anything new, because I fear a lot of people are going to read it and do NOTHING with it.
When I wrote The Forbidden Truth (Forbidden Truth), I wrote a part in the end that I’m not sure people took seriously. So let’s revisit this:
____________________
Open Letter to a Keyboard Jockey
Dear KJ,
It's time I give you some tough love. You came into this as a nerd who couldn't get women. Now you're a nerd who still can't get women, but you're really well educated about social dynamics. Well-educated nerd. Not quite what you had in mind. If that's the path you're on, I hope this report scares the living shit out of you. Stop for a minute and think about all your friends. Think of a good friend that you trust. Go to his house. Give your friend your laptop charger. Tell him not to give it back until you've gotten laid.
Yours truly,
Brad P.
______________________
People, I was serious about the laptop charger thing! Not one single person has told me he gave away his laptop charger until getting laid. (If you’ve done it, please email me.)
Your laptop gives you information every day, that’s it. That’s less valuable than getting laid in my life. How about yours?
What’s more important to you? Information or pussy?
If you’re a KJ, maybe you can’t have both. You sit home reading instead of going out sarging. Obviously it’s one or the other.
I hereby designate Satuday, February 27th, to be a worldwide sarge-athon. I’m going to call it Worldwide KJ Day.
In memory of all the lost souls who sat there on their computer instead of fucking hot pussy, I require everyone to call up a wingman and sarge with him for a minimum of 3 hours (day or night).
Here’s the rules-
1- You exchange laptop chargers at the beginning of the outing.
2- You must do 10 approaches or get laid, whichever comes first, before getting your charger back.
3- You must last 3 hours in field without going home and without giving up.
4- No talking theory in field! If you mention any guru’s name or say one single acronym, your laptop charger gets tossed out of a moving car.
If you can make it through, that’s great news. You’re ready to graduate out of KJ-land and I’d love to see you in the 30/30 Club or Pickup Mansion. These are KJ-free zones. No KJ can run or hide in the 30/30 Club. In Pickup Mansion, we have a guard tower, and KJs are shot on site.
Next Suggestion- New Criteria for becoming a “Big Name”
Right now, the biggest names in seduction are the guys who have done mainstream media projects. Video, TV, movies, this is what business owners are using to claim credibility.
I argue that the criteria should be in-field performance and good reviews from students. How good are you at pickup, and how much value do you give the students? That’s all that matters.
Why? Because it’s so much more REAL. For example, check this out-
That book has every single review from 2005 to 2008. Now that’s real.
These pickup videos are creatively edited and they take you into a world of entertainment and illusions. There’s one well known guru who puts out tons and tons of videos, but everyone in the whole industry knows this guy never gets laid. If you chop up the video just right, anyone can look awesome at pickup.
You really think they put every set on video? No, they just do like 50 approaches and pick the best 3. Any dickhead can go 3 for 50.
In contrast, Glenn P has quietly being doing incredible workshops for the past 3 years, and not many people know about him. He could bury any of these “video superstars” with his amazing demos and insightful coaching. He’s focused on real results for students, not entertainment for web-surfers.
The biggest names should be the guys who are teaching regularly and have great reviews. Case closed.
That’s why I kind of liked Sinn’s Top Ten. It’s not based on mainstream media projects or deceptive video footage. There’s not a lot of “business guys” on there. Not a lot of “product only” guys on there. Most of the guys on Sinn’s list are people you can see in the field now or guys that spent years in the field before becoming inactive.
Lastly, I’d like to give props to Sinn for doing a colossal amount of research while putting together his Top Ten list and Top Ten Charlatans list. Sinn, we all thank you for putting in the time you put in, it’s helped so many people.
Sinn is in a unique position. He knows everyone in the business. He gets word when someone is great, he gets word when someone sucks.
The top ten lists are important for helping new guys find out where to study and who to trust. Without them, it would come down to who has the best marketing. The guy with the best marketing is usually not the best guru. The best gurus spend their time fucking and teaching, not doing marketing.
Thanks to Sinn! Congrats to everyone on the list.
Let’s have a great year in 2010, and enjoy the Golden Age, it won’t be here forever.
-Brad P.
I've been talking to a lot of guys about writing guest articles on the blog here and there, and today you're lucky to have a great article by the guy I named #2 PUA of the year Brad P.
Enjoy,
JS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone.
It’s Brad P., writing a guest post here on Sinn’s blog. Thanks so much to Sinn for giving me the platform to express myself here.
After reading Sinn’s Top Ten list, I’ve thought about things quite a bit, and this is the conclusion that I’ve come to:
You are living in the Golden Age of Pickup.
You are living in an age where extremely talented, intelligent men are willing to spend years of their lives testing pickup ideas out, weeding out the stuff that doesn’t work, compiling the best stuff, and handing it to you for almost nothing.
You are living in an age where you can sign up for a pickup workshop, and a trained expert with years and years of experience will fly into your town, setup all the best places to meet women, tell you everything he knows, approach women right in front of you, and coach you with every ounce of energy he has, so you can get better at pickup.
You are living in an age where you can join a year long program using a tested and proven curriculum, and have experienced seducers from all over the world willing to guide your journey and keep you focused.
Ten years ago, none of this would have been possible.
Ten years from now, this could all be gone.
This is why I believe 2010 is the Golden Age of Pickup.
As I read through Sinn’s Top Ten list, I see some guys on there who have a lot of talent. For the good of the community as a whole, I’d like to see all of these guys stay in the game! Retaining the talented coaches is the main factor that will make the Golden Age last longer.
Ten years ago there were no talented coaches. That’s why 2000 was not the Golden Age. Now, in 2010, we have a lot more good coaches, but we also have seen a lot of “big names” become inactive.
When I say “inactive,” that can mean a few different things. Some of the big names no longer teach at all. Some of them teach, but they don’t actually pick up chicks any more. Obviously, this is not good news.
But at least they have left behind a body of literature that will endure long after they have left the game. Ten years ago, there was no body of literature.
I believe 2010 will have the highest level of “active” talented coaches ever. As a student, I urge you to take advantage of this. Do not let it pass you by! Now is the time to do that workshop, join that program, start your approaches. Don’t be a casual observer. Make an honest effort to learn pickup the right way, by going into the field and applying the ideas the masters have handed down to you.
Don’t be the guy who sits in his room alone when he’s 68 years old and says “Yeah, I could have learned pickup from the best in the world, during the golden age, but I slacked on it.”
Don’t be that guy!
Don’t take the talent level for granted. Me, Sinn, and all the other good coaches will not be here forever. Someday we’re gonna get bored of endless pussy and take up some other interest. Someday we might get sick of teaching the same things over and over. Some day we might want to just live our lives without constant combat with student negativity.
Now I’d like to focus on a few improvements that could made so that the Golden Age gets even better, and lasts even longer.
First Suggestion- Worldwide KJ Day
This Keyboard Jockey phenomenon has got to end. It’s gotten really out of control.
It’s at the point now where I don’t even want to write anything new, because I fear a lot of people are going to read it and do NOTHING with it.
When I wrote The Forbidden Truth (Forbidden Truth), I wrote a part in the end that I’m not sure people took seriously. So let’s revisit this:
____________________
Open Letter to a Keyboard Jockey
Dear KJ,
It's time I give you some tough love. You came into this as a nerd who couldn't get women. Now you're a nerd who still can't get women, but you're really well educated about social dynamics. Well-educated nerd. Not quite what you had in mind. If that's the path you're on, I hope this report scares the living shit out of you. Stop for a minute and think about all your friends. Think of a good friend that you trust. Go to his house. Give your friend your laptop charger. Tell him not to give it back until you've gotten laid.
Yours truly,
Brad P.
______________________
People, I was serious about the laptop charger thing! Not one single person has told me he gave away his laptop charger until getting laid. (If you’ve done it, please email me.)
Your laptop gives you information every day, that’s it. That’s less valuable than getting laid in my life. How about yours?
What’s more important to you? Information or pussy?
If you’re a KJ, maybe you can’t have both. You sit home reading instead of going out sarging. Obviously it’s one or the other.
I hereby designate Satuday, February 27th, to be a worldwide sarge-athon. I’m going to call it Worldwide KJ Day.
In memory of all the lost souls who sat there on their computer instead of fucking hot pussy, I require everyone to call up a wingman and sarge with him for a minimum of 3 hours (day or night).
Here’s the rules-
1- You exchange laptop chargers at the beginning of the outing.
2- You must do 10 approaches or get laid, whichever comes first, before getting your charger back.
3- You must last 3 hours in field without going home and without giving up.
4- No talking theory in field! If you mention any guru’s name or say one single acronym, your laptop charger gets tossed out of a moving car.
If you can make it through, that’s great news. You’re ready to graduate out of KJ-land and I’d love to see you in the 30/30 Club or Pickup Mansion. These are KJ-free zones. No KJ can run or hide in the 30/30 Club. In Pickup Mansion, we have a guard tower, and KJs are shot on site.
Next Suggestion- New Criteria for becoming a “Big Name”
Right now, the biggest names in seduction are the guys who have done mainstream media projects. Video, TV, movies, this is what business owners are using to claim credibility.
I argue that the criteria should be in-field performance and good reviews from students. How good are you at pickup, and how much value do you give the students? That’s all that matters.
Why? Because it’s so much more REAL. For example, check this out-
That book has every single review from 2005 to 2008. Now that’s real.
These pickup videos are creatively edited and they take you into a world of entertainment and illusions. There’s one well known guru who puts out tons and tons of videos, but everyone in the whole industry knows this guy never gets laid. If you chop up the video just right, anyone can look awesome at pickup.
You really think they put every set on video? No, they just do like 50 approaches and pick the best 3. Any dickhead can go 3 for 50.
In contrast, Glenn P has quietly being doing incredible workshops for the past 3 years, and not many people know about him. He could bury any of these “video superstars” with his amazing demos and insightful coaching. He’s focused on real results for students, not entertainment for web-surfers.
The biggest names should be the guys who are teaching regularly and have great reviews. Case closed.
That’s why I kind of liked Sinn’s Top Ten. It’s not based on mainstream media projects or deceptive video footage. There’s not a lot of “business guys” on there. Not a lot of “product only” guys on there. Most of the guys on Sinn’s list are people you can see in the field now or guys that spent years in the field before becoming inactive.
Lastly, I’d like to give props to Sinn for doing a colossal amount of research while putting together his Top Ten list and Top Ten Charlatans list. Sinn, we all thank you for putting in the time you put in, it’s helped so many people.
Sinn is in a unique position. He knows everyone in the business. He gets word when someone is great, he gets word when someone sucks.
The top ten lists are important for helping new guys find out where to study and who to trust. Without them, it would come down to who has the best marketing. The guy with the best marketing is usually not the best guru. The best gurus spend their time fucking and teaching, not doing marketing.
Thanks to Sinn! Congrats to everyone on the list.
Let’s have a great year in 2010, and enjoy the Golden Age, it won’t be here forever.
-Brad P.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Special Announcement: Valentine's Blowout Sale!!
Hey,
I know Valentine's Day isn't until this Sunday, but you're going to
LOVE what I have in store for you today!
For the next four days, you can get any of the products in the
Sinns of Attraction catalog for an amazing 30% off!
(Make sure you check out the "Mother of All Offers" where you can
get my not-yet-released Get Laid More Program, which features myself
Captain Jack, Brad P and others, as a FREE bonus).
Check it out at: Sale
This sale ends at midnight on Sunday the 14th so don't wait!
Best,
Sinn
P.S. If you're going to be lonely this Valentine's Day or just want to
add more love to your life, NOW is the time take action and get the
dating life you want. Start here:
CLICK HERE!!!!
I know Valentine's Day isn't until this Sunday, but you're going to
LOVE what I have in store for you today!
For the next four days, you can get any of the products in the
Sinns of Attraction catalog for an amazing 30% off!
(Make sure you check out the "Mother of All Offers" where you can
get my not-yet-released Get Laid More Program, which features myself
Captain Jack, Brad P and others, as a FREE bonus).
Check it out at: Sale
This sale ends at midnight on Sunday the 14th so don't wait!
Best,
Sinn
P.S. If you're going to be lonely this Valentine's Day or just want to
add more love to your life, NOW is the time take action and get the
dating life you want. Start here:
CLICK HERE!!!!
"I like girls who"
Here's another little tactic/line/routine whatever you wanna call it.
This one is a great way to test a woman's interest level.
Again all credit goes to CJ for this as well...
So you're talking to a girl, and you think she might, kinda, almost be attracted to you. But you're not sure, and you don't want to get rejected too badly by making too big of a move. If only there was some way to test a girl's level of interest without giving away too much of your power or looking too desperate..
Well now you can with " I like girls who" Statements. These are simply statements where you express a preference for girls with a certain something.
Some examples I've used
" I like girls who like to cuddle."
" I like girls who have really good grammar."
" I like girls who cook."
" I like girls who take really good care of me."
Now if a girl isn't attracted to you, she'll either say that she ISN'T like that, ignore the statement altogether and change the subject or just acknowledge it and move on. At which point you know she's attracted to you but not enough yet to make any big move like trying to kiss her or get her phone number.
But if a girl qualifies herself as a girl like that, then you know for a fact that she's attracted enough to you to continue this qualification process and start escalating more. Overall the more in depth you can explain why you like something, the better this whole process works. It's not a bad idea to even have a story to explain why you like each thing.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content.
This one is a great way to test a woman's interest level.
Again all credit goes to CJ for this as well...
So you're talking to a girl, and you think she might, kinda, almost be attracted to you. But you're not sure, and you don't want to get rejected too badly by making too big of a move. If only there was some way to test a girl's level of interest without giving away too much of your power or looking too desperate..
Well now you can with " I like girls who" Statements. These are simply statements where you express a preference for girls with a certain something.
Some examples I've used
" I like girls who like to cuddle."
" I like girls who have really good grammar."
" I like girls who cook."
" I like girls who take really good care of me."
Now if a girl isn't attracted to you, she'll either say that she ISN'T like that, ignore the statement altogether and change the subject or just acknowledge it and move on. At which point you know she's attracted to you but not enough yet to make any big move like trying to kiss her or get her phone number.
But if a girl qualifies herself as a girl like that, then you know for a fact that she's attracted enough to you to continue this qualification process and start escalating more. Overall the more in depth you can explain why you like something, the better this whole process works. It's not a bad idea to even have a story to explain why you like each thing.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
You're not the X type are you?
Here's another great little tactic that can be explained in a few minutes and used the next time you're talking to a girl you're interested in.
This one comes again from the genius of CJ. Forever, I'd always started my date set up with the following;
" You're not the jealous type are you?"
Which if done once a girl is attracted to you almost always gets the girl to say she isn't (Even if she really is).
Well a few months ago when I said this to a girl I was gaming girl by the pool at my apartment complex in Miami. When I asked her if she was the jealous type she responded by saying something like " Well it's different because I'm gay." Which made me realize that asking a girl if she's the jealous type demonstrates a considerable amount of interest and assumes that there is going to be some type of relationship between you and the girl.
That's why the question, you're not the X type is a great one to subtly demonstrate interest, qualify a girl and start a story in which you can demonstrate any one of a number of attractive qualities about yourself while stimulating the girl emotionally. This is something you can use anytime you think a girl is attracted to you but aren't sure as well.
If you don't want to use jealous you can plug in any characteristic or quality you don't like in girls.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content
This one comes again from the genius of CJ. Forever, I'd always started my date set up with the following;
" You're not the jealous type are you?"
Which if done once a girl is attracted to you almost always gets the girl to say she isn't (Even if she really is).
Well a few months ago when I said this to a girl I was gaming girl by the pool at my apartment complex in Miami. When I asked her if she was the jealous type she responded by saying something like " Well it's different because I'm gay." Which made me realize that asking a girl if she's the jealous type demonstrates a considerable amount of interest and assumes that there is going to be some type of relationship between you and the girl.
That's why the question, you're not the X type is a great one to subtly demonstrate interest, qualify a girl and start a story in which you can demonstrate any one of a number of attractive qualities about yourself while stimulating the girl emotionally. This is something you can use anytime you think a girl is attracted to you but aren't sure as well.
If you don't want to use jealous you can plug in any characteristic or quality you don't like in girls.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, February 08, 2010
5 Things To Avoid When You Are Out Doing Pick UP
Here's a quick list of 5 things I see guys do when they are out meeting girls that doesn't help them (or you).
1.Laps of Doom. This is where you aimlessly walk around the club looking or girls to approach. It's a much better idea to stay in one place and blend in if you aren't approaching, the more girls see you walking around the worse it is for you.
2. Cell Phone Checks every 30 seconds. Seriously, no one is emailing you anything important at 10 PM on a Friday.
3. Talking about game. This one should be obvious but it's dangerous, because it makes you feel like you are actually doing something when you aren't. Also include chatting with your friends about any subject that sucks you in.
4. Coming up with reasons why the night is bad or there aren't enough sets. This is another big one guys do where they will justify why they aren't approaching by blaming the environment, night, hotness of the girls, or types of sets. Don't complain, just approach the sets that are there.
5. Not regulating your state. This is a huge one, it is much easier to talk to girls or anyone when you feel good. Getting into and maintaining state is the easiest way to do this.
Now make sure you avoid doing these next time you're out!
JS- The King Of Content
1.Laps of Doom. This is where you aimlessly walk around the club looking or girls to approach. It's a much better idea to stay in one place and blend in if you aren't approaching, the more girls see you walking around the worse it is for you.
2. Cell Phone Checks every 30 seconds. Seriously, no one is emailing you anything important at 10 PM on a Friday.
3. Talking about game. This one should be obvious but it's dangerous, because it makes you feel like you are actually doing something when you aren't. Also include chatting with your friends about any subject that sucks you in.
4. Coming up with reasons why the night is bad or there aren't enough sets. This is another big one guys do where they will justify why they aren't approaching by blaming the environment, night, hotness of the girls, or types of sets. Don't complain, just approach the sets that are there.
5. Not regulating your state. This is a huge one, it is much easier to talk to girls or anyone when you feel good. Getting into and maintaining state is the easiest way to do this.
Now make sure you avoid doing these next time you're out!
JS- The King Of Content
Friday, February 05, 2010
Seeding a date example.
People have been asking for this...
When getting a girl's phone number, you need to seed the date by telling a story that takes place where you want to invite her. The one I use comes from my buddy Captain Jack.
I’ll say something like
“ You’re not the jealous type are you?”
She’ll always say no.
“ Good, every Wednesday my friends and I go to Gilligan’s for dollar drinks and Kareoke. We were there last week, and my ex was looking through my phone. I didn’t think anything of it, till the next day; when I realized she deleted every female number in my phone. Even my Mom. “
Then I’ll oversell the place without inviting her. This is a great tactic because people are more likely to believe a place is cool if you are not trying to invite them there. So I’ll describe everything that makes this place cool in really over the top fashion as if it’s the best place ever. But I won’t invite the girl now.
In fact I like to wait 5-10 minutes before I move on to the next part of the date set up which is inviting her with a qualifier.
So I’ll say something like
“ You know now that I’ve been talking to you for awhile, I think you’re really awesome and it would be really fun to bring you along for karaoke next Wednesday. But I’m only going to invite you if promise you’ll sing. Will you sing?
I’m inviting the girl but putting a hoop out for her to jump through in order to get the invitation. The more work she has to do to earn the invitation the more likely she is to show up for the date.
Lastly I’ll get her number so that I can start to apply my flake elimination follow up system. Because even though I have her phone number, she is still in control of whether or not she picks up or shows up for our date.
If you do this date set up correctly you will be able to get any woman you can get attracted to agree to go on a date with you.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content
PS: if you want to learn how to make sure that over 80% of your phone numbers show up for dates, get the Flake Elimination Toolkit Today at Flakes Kit
When getting a girl's phone number, you need to seed the date by telling a story that takes place where you want to invite her. The one I use comes from my buddy Captain Jack.
I’ll say something like
“ You’re not the jealous type are you?”
She’ll always say no.
“ Good, every Wednesday my friends and I go to Gilligan’s for dollar drinks and Kareoke. We were there last week, and my ex was looking through my phone. I didn’t think anything of it, till the next day; when I realized she deleted every female number in my phone. Even my Mom. “
Then I’ll oversell the place without inviting her. This is a great tactic because people are more likely to believe a place is cool if you are not trying to invite them there. So I’ll describe everything that makes this place cool in really over the top fashion as if it’s the best place ever. But I won’t invite the girl now.
In fact I like to wait 5-10 minutes before I move on to the next part of the date set up which is inviting her with a qualifier.
So I’ll say something like
“ You know now that I’ve been talking to you for awhile, I think you’re really awesome and it would be really fun to bring you along for karaoke next Wednesday. But I’m only going to invite you if promise you’ll sing. Will you sing?
I’m inviting the girl but putting a hoop out for her to jump through in order to get the invitation. The more work she has to do to earn the invitation the more likely she is to show up for the date.
Lastly I’ll get her number so that I can start to apply my flake elimination follow up system. Because even though I have her phone number, she is still in control of whether or not she picks up or shows up for our date.
If you do this date set up correctly you will be able to get any woman you can get attracted to agree to go on a date with you.
Hope that helps,
JS- The King Of Content
PS: if you want to learn how to make sure that over 80% of your phone numbers show up for dates, get the Flake Elimination Toolkit Today at Flakes Kit
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Typical LA girl Uniform Routine
Hey guys,
Here's a quick little piece of material you can use when you're talking to girls. I know I didn't come up with this but I forget who did.
This is a good example of an observation, mixed with an open loop and demonstrating some social intuition and knowledge of fashion.
After you've started a conversation with a girl you can say
" Well at least you're not wearing typical LA girl uniform."
At which point she'll ask you what that means and you can describe any current fashion trend be it the riding style boots that are popular now or uggs or black tank tops and true religions.
IDIOT DISCLAIMER: Obviously if you don't live in LA then you want to use the city you live in...
This little short routine is a great way to transition or change the subject once you've started talking to a girl and leads as a great bridge into who she is and what she's trying to express with her clothing.
Lata,
JS- The King Of Content
Here's a quick little piece of material you can use when you're talking to girls. I know I didn't come up with this but I forget who did.
This is a good example of an observation, mixed with an open loop and demonstrating some social intuition and knowledge of fashion.
After you've started a conversation with a girl you can say
" Well at least you're not wearing typical LA girl uniform."
At which point she'll ask you what that means and you can describe any current fashion trend be it the riding style boots that are popular now or uggs or black tank tops and true religions.
IDIOT DISCLAIMER: Obviously if you don't live in LA then you want to use the city you live in...
This little short routine is a great way to transition or change the subject once you've started talking to a girl and leads as a great bridge into who she is and what she's trying to express with her clothing.
Lata,
JS- The King Of Content
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
I'm Back and Way refreshed...
Hey there,
My vacation was great, except I actually did lose my cellphone, so I am still out of contact with everyone and have lost a fair share of phone #s :(
One day I will feel less lazy and will actually upload some of the videos and pics I took. But today is not that day...
I'll have some cool stuff for you this week including the first new Podcast of the year.
But for now this will have to do.
Off to Breakfast then work time.
JS- The King Of Content
My vacation was great, except I actually did lose my cellphone, so I am still out of contact with everyone and have lost a fair share of phone #s :(
One day I will feel less lazy and will actually upload some of the videos and pics I took. But today is not that day...
I'll have some cool stuff for you this week including the first new Podcast of the year.
But for now this will have to do.
Off to Breakfast then work time.
JS- The King Of Content
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Going Snowboarding!!!
Hey guys,
I'm going out of town to do some Snowboarding somewhere where I won't be stalked.
So I'll be out of contact from today until Tuesday...
That means no email, no phone no nothing :)
This will be my first vacation in awhile and I plan to enjoy it :)
Hope everyone else has a great weekend!
JS- The King Of Content
I'm going out of town to do some Snowboarding somewhere where I won't be stalked.
So I'll be out of contact from today until Tuesday...
That means no email, no phone no nothing :)
This will be my first vacation in awhile and I plan to enjoy it :)
Hope everyone else has a great weekend!
JS- The King Of Content
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Cutting Space Demo
Hey guys,
Here's another video on how to get closer to girls as you're talking to them without freaking them out.
It's all in the footwork, so watch as I school some young'ens like Olajuwon schooled Kobe over Summer.
JS- The King Of Content
Here's another video on how to get closer to girls as you're talking to them without freaking them out.
It's all in the footwork, so watch as I school some young'ens like Olajuwon schooled Kobe over Summer.
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, January 25, 2010
Rules Of Touching Video
Hey guys,
Here's a clip from the last bootcamp where I share some touching stuff.
Word.
JS- The King Of Content
To get a free 7 part video course explaining how to open and get attraction, head over to Sinnsofattraction.com
Here's a clip from the last bootcamp where I share some touching stuff.
Word.
JS- The King Of Content
To get a free 7 part video course explaining how to open and get attraction, head over to Sinnsofattraction.com
Friday, January 22, 2010
" You Want It To Be One Way, But It's The Other Way.."
I love this scene, reminds me of many community guys...
JS- The King Of Content
JS- The King Of Content
Sports Stuff!!!
First a question,
Frank Mir is
A. The UFC Heavyweight Champion
B. The Best trash Talker alive
C. An Amazing Human Being.
The answer is C.
Amazing Human Being Frank Mir(Who is SOOO on the juice) fights Shane Carwin soon for the right to fight Brock Lesnar again and defeat him due to chemical enhancements. I personally believe all athletes should be on the juice to entertain me more....
Also here's a list of Brett Favre's 5 Biggest Playoff meltdowns leading up to hopefully another one this weekend VS The Saints.
Favre Sucks Balls In The Playoffs
That is All.
JS- The King Of Content
Frank Mir is
A. The UFC Heavyweight Champion
B. The Best trash Talker alive
C. An Amazing Human Being.
The answer is C.
Amazing Human Being Frank Mir(Who is SOOO on the juice) fights Shane Carwin soon for the right to fight Brock Lesnar again and defeat him due to chemical enhancements. I personally believe all athletes should be on the juice to entertain me more....
Also here's a list of Brett Favre's 5 Biggest Playoff meltdowns leading up to hopefully another one this weekend VS The Saints.
Favre Sucks Balls In The Playoffs
That is All.
JS- The King Of Content
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Replay Link for Last Night's Call
Hey guys,
We had a great turnout of over 250 people on the conference call last night with Inner Game Guru Carlos Xuma.
It was a great call where we covered a ton of info from Inner game to "bringing out the Badboy side of your personality."
Be sure to check out the replay Here in order to hear it for yourself.
And be sure to hit me up with comments.
JS-The King Of Content
We had a great turnout of over 250 people on the conference call last night with Inner Game Guru Carlos Xuma.
It was a great call where we covered a ton of info from Inner game to "bringing out the Badboy side of your personality."
Be sure to check out the replay Here in order to hear it for yourself.
And be sure to hit me up with comments.
JS-The King Of Content
Monday, January 18, 2010
Inner Game Teleseminar This Wednesday
I've got some exciting news for you:
This Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 7PM EST, my friend, Carlos Xuma
has agreed to do a one-time only Secrets of Inner Game teleseminar
just for you.
If you're not familiar with Carlos Xuma, he's been known for quite a
few years now as Being THE #1 authority on Inner Game in the entire
world.
In this teleseminar, I'm going to grill Carlos and make sure he
reveals his BEST inner game secrets. I'm talking about
practical stuffthat you can use immediately.
This call is going to be a packed with high value content, so you're
going to want to make sure you take a lot of notes.
Here are just a few things you'll discover on the teleseminar:
- How the "inner game" of dating REALLY works -and why most guys
fail at getting "confident" with women!
- How to live the "Alpha Lifestyle" - what it is, and why it's your
key to success with women.
- Ever felt like women "own" you when you approach them? Carlos will
give you 3 ways to get over your "approach anxiety" - with no pain
or tears!
- How the "Bad Boy" gets women, and what you don't know about his
secret methods that could make you a rock star in your social and
dating life...
When you get your inner game handled, all the other techniques and
strategies become effortless and you'll be getting A LOT more girls
in your life that's for sure.
There's no need to register for this special teleseminar, here are
your access details:
Phone #: 619-684-9024
Passcode: 577602# (remember to press the #!)
Webcast link: Webcast
See you on the call!
JS -- The King of Content
This Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 7PM EST, my friend, Carlos Xuma
has agreed to do a one-time only Secrets of Inner Game teleseminar
just for you.
If you're not familiar with Carlos Xuma, he's been known for quite a
few years now as Being THE #1 authority on Inner Game in the entire
world.
In this teleseminar, I'm going to grill Carlos and make sure he
reveals his BEST inner game secrets. I'm talking about
practical stuffthat you can use immediately.
This call is going to be a packed with high value content, so you're
going to want to make sure you take a lot of notes.
Here are just a few things you'll discover on the teleseminar:
- How the "inner game" of dating REALLY works -and why most guys
fail at getting "confident" with women!
- How to live the "Alpha Lifestyle" - what it is, and why it's your
key to success with women.
- Ever felt like women "own" you when you approach them? Carlos will
give you 3 ways to get over your "approach anxiety" - with no pain
or tears!
- How the "Bad Boy" gets women, and what you don't know about his
secret methods that could make you a rock star in your social and
dating life...
When you get your inner game handled, all the other techniques and
strategies become effortless and you'll be getting A LOT more girls
in your life that's for sure.
There's no need to register for this special teleseminar, here are
your access details:
Phone #: 619-684-9024
Passcode: 577602# (remember to press the #!)
Webcast link: Webcast
See you on the call!
JS -- The King of Content
Friday, January 15, 2010
5 Ways To Avoid Post Bootcamp Problems
Hey Guys,
This is cherry picked from a mailbag I wrote a few days ago.
Here's my five best proven strategies
for avoiding the post bootcamp struggles that
await most guys who take a one time bootcamp
as opposed to a year long program like my own
12M2M.
First you have to understand the phenomenon
known as “ Workshop High”. What happens is,
because you have invested a lot of time, energy,
travel and money into getting the most out of
your bootcamp, you have a lot invested in doing
well there. Additionally during the in field sessions
you have the accountability and extra boost of motivation
that comes form having a coach push you.
Because of this most students actually tend to
“overperform” on bootcamps. That’s why a
student can get laid during a program but actually
go home without any increased level in his ability
to approach, date and seduce new women.
So to avoid this you need to do a few things.
1. Pay attention to the processes. Especially the way you mentally prepare yourself for going out and doing approaches at night. Make sure you pay attention to the first few approaches versus the last few. You should notice it was WAY easier to approach the 4th girl than the 1st and that by the time you did 5-6 approaches you didn’t even worry about it. This is how it’s going to feel every time.
2. Don’t be fooled by early success. Sometimes students ask me if they should stay in an interaction as long as possible or keep approaching. I always say keep approaching. You don’t want to have 1 great 2 hour conversation on a bootcamp with a girl who lives in a different city than you do. You do want to get used to a variety of reactions and learn what a good set is versus a bad one.
3. Pay attention to the way girls are reacting to you. This is uber important. You want to know what it felt like, and looked like when an instructor tekks you, you creeped a girl out or didn’t make a move soon enough. I always say, “the girls are the real instructors.” Meaning that the best feedback you’re going to get is from the girls reactions.
4. Make sure you don’t “ take time off to integrate all this stuff”. This is one of the biggest reasons that guys crash after bootcamp. Instead of getting out there and seeing how this stuff works in the real world, they decide to take a week or two break to re-read their notes or study. The momentum you get from a bootcamp is one of your biggest assets in terms of changing your life. Make sure you keep going out. Especially on the Sunday night when you’re tired and it would be easy to stay in your hotel room and sleep.
5. Understand that there is an ebb and flow to pickup. You won’t always be on and you won’t always be off. So understanding the ups and downs of the process helps. The guys who expect to get a phone number every approach after bootcamp; fail.
All right I hope that helps Jason and any other
guys out there wondering what to do after a
bootcamp. Although the best thing to do is
enroll in a year long program with follow
up like 12M2M.
Hope that helps you guys,
JS- The King Of Content
PS: If you want to get new up to date
information on pickup and dating every
month be sure to join Sinn’s Inner Circle.
Sign up at SIC
This is cherry picked from a mailbag I wrote a few days ago.
Here's my five best proven strategies
for avoiding the post bootcamp struggles that
await most guys who take a one time bootcamp
as opposed to a year long program like my own
12M2M.
First you have to understand the phenomenon
known as “ Workshop High”. What happens is,
because you have invested a lot of time, energy,
travel and money into getting the most out of
your bootcamp, you have a lot invested in doing
well there. Additionally during the in field sessions
you have the accountability and extra boost of motivation
that comes form having a coach push you.
Because of this most students actually tend to
“overperform” on bootcamps. That’s why a
student can get laid during a program but actually
go home without any increased level in his ability
to approach, date and seduce new women.
So to avoid this you need to do a few things.
1. Pay attention to the processes. Especially the way you mentally prepare yourself for going out and doing approaches at night. Make sure you pay attention to the first few approaches versus the last few. You should notice it was WAY easier to approach the 4th girl than the 1st and that by the time you did 5-6 approaches you didn’t even worry about it. This is how it’s going to feel every time.
2. Don’t be fooled by early success. Sometimes students ask me if they should stay in an interaction as long as possible or keep approaching. I always say keep approaching. You don’t want to have 1 great 2 hour conversation on a bootcamp with a girl who lives in a different city than you do. You do want to get used to a variety of reactions and learn what a good set is versus a bad one.
3. Pay attention to the way girls are reacting to you. This is uber important. You want to know what it felt like, and looked like when an instructor tekks you, you creeped a girl out or didn’t make a move soon enough. I always say, “the girls are the real instructors.” Meaning that the best feedback you’re going to get is from the girls reactions.
4. Make sure you don’t “ take time off to integrate all this stuff”. This is one of the biggest reasons that guys crash after bootcamp. Instead of getting out there and seeing how this stuff works in the real world, they decide to take a week or two break to re-read their notes or study. The momentum you get from a bootcamp is one of your biggest assets in terms of changing your life. Make sure you keep going out. Especially on the Sunday night when you’re tired and it would be easy to stay in your hotel room and sleep.
5. Understand that there is an ebb and flow to pickup. You won’t always be on and you won’t always be off. So understanding the ups and downs of the process helps. The guys who expect to get a phone number every approach after bootcamp; fail.
All right I hope that helps Jason and any other
guys out there wondering what to do after a
bootcamp. Although the best thing to do is
enroll in a year long program with follow
up like 12M2M.
Hope that helps you guys,
JS- The King Of Content
PS: If you want to get new up to date
information on pickup and dating every
month be sure to join Sinn’s Inner Circle.
Sign up at SIC
Spot On Review Of Up In The Air
Wish I wrote this.
Will Leitch of Deadspin on Up In The Air.
Up In The Air
Couldn't agree more with his take.
Thanks @JasonWhitlock fot the link.
JS-The King Of Content
Will Leitch of Deadspin on Up In The Air.
Up In The Air
Couldn't agree more with his take.
Thanks @JasonWhitlock fot the link.
JS-The King Of Content
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Where Are All The Sinns Of Attraction Products???
Hey guys,
With all the new attention I've had from being voted the World's best PUA, I've been getting an influx of people asking where they can get our products.
Since We don't have a one stop shop page with all of our products listed, I wanted to make a post today to direct you guys out there.
1. Our flagship product that explains what I teach and provides the basis for all of my material is our Natural Attraction DVD. In it I break down the four factors for Natural Attraction, as well as giving great examples of how to demonstrate each trait. You can get it for only $30 NaturalAttractionDVD.com
2. Every Month I release a new Sinn's Inner Circle. This includes a CD of the month featuring myself talking about a specific subject related to game, as well as a newsletter with 100% different content from the CD on lifestyle, inner psychology and skillsets. You can get a free trial to Sinn's Inner Circle at Sinn's Inner Circle
3. The Flake Elimination Toolkit, is a great product that focuses on eliminating flaking entirely. This includes real life transcipts of texts I've sent to women that led to dates and sex. You can get that here: Flake Elimination
4. The Day Game Course is our most well known and well reviewed product. It inlcudes a full DVD of in field footage, 5 DVDs of a $1000 per person seminar recording, 10 CDs, a full manual, bonus CDs on Instant Dates, TroubleShooting and much, much more. Get it today at Get Day Game
5. Advanced Strategies For Sexualized Comfort is one of our more popular products. It features a full CD overview of my exclusive Breakthrough Comfort process which has been described as backwards engineered love. It also includes a CD on Sexual Framing and a CD of my personal favorite routines to use for sexualizing an interaction with a woman. Get it at Sexualize Comfort
6. Lastly we have the first product I ever created; The Lay Reports book. The LR book features LRs and breakdowns by myself and some of the World's best PUAs including multiple entires by my # 1, 2 and 3 PUAS of the year Captain Jack, AFC Adam and Brad P. Get this product and step right inside the heads of 13 of the World's best PUAs. You can find it at Lay Reports Book
Hope that helps you guys,
Best,
JS- The King Of Content
With all the new attention I've had from being voted the World's best PUA, I've been getting an influx of people asking where they can get our products.
Since We don't have a one stop shop page with all of our products listed, I wanted to make a post today to direct you guys out there.
1. Our flagship product that explains what I teach and provides the basis for all of my material is our Natural Attraction DVD. In it I break down the four factors for Natural Attraction, as well as giving great examples of how to demonstrate each trait. You can get it for only $30 NaturalAttractionDVD.com
2. Every Month I release a new Sinn's Inner Circle. This includes a CD of the month featuring myself talking about a specific subject related to game, as well as a newsletter with 100% different content from the CD on lifestyle, inner psychology and skillsets. You can get a free trial to Sinn's Inner Circle at Sinn's Inner Circle
3. The Flake Elimination Toolkit, is a great product that focuses on eliminating flaking entirely. This includes real life transcipts of texts I've sent to women that led to dates and sex. You can get that here: Flake Elimination
4. The Day Game Course is our most well known and well reviewed product. It inlcudes a full DVD of in field footage, 5 DVDs of a $1000 per person seminar recording, 10 CDs, a full manual, bonus CDs on Instant Dates, TroubleShooting and much, much more. Get it today at Get Day Game
5. Advanced Strategies For Sexualized Comfort is one of our more popular products. It features a full CD overview of my exclusive Breakthrough Comfort process which has been described as backwards engineered love. It also includes a CD on Sexual Framing and a CD of my personal favorite routines to use for sexualizing an interaction with a woman. Get it at Sexualize Comfort
6. Lastly we have the first product I ever created; The Lay Reports book. The LR book features LRs and breakdowns by myself and some of the World's best PUAs including multiple entires by my # 1, 2 and 3 PUAS of the year Captain Jack, AFC Adam and Brad P. Get this product and step right inside the heads of 13 of the World's best PUAs. You can find it at Lay Reports Book
Hope that helps you guys,
Best,
JS- The King Of Content
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Interesting Article on What Makes Jay-Z popular
Hey here's an article link over at Esquire on a Jay-Z story that kinda meshes with something I wrote about Tupac and Contrast awhile ago.
Tupac Article I wrote a few years ago : Tupac and Contrast
Jay-Z Article in Esquire: How Jay-Z Does Business
JS
Tupac Article I wrote a few years ago : Tupac and Contrast
Jay-Z Article in Esquire: How Jay-Z Does Business
JS
The 5 Ways To Maximize Your Bootcamp Experience
Hey Guys,
At this point I would ONLY recommend taking a Bootcamp with Brad P, or Adam Lyons. Other people like myself and Speer do more long term things with multiple trainings which are great. But I know a lot of guys are still spending thousands of dollars to take one time only bootcamp with fuckwads who are teaching watered down versions of stuff I taught 3 years ago.
So if you feel the need to spend 3Gs to take a bootcamp with one of the big time companies with shitty instructors (RSD, the company that shall not be named,Venusian Arts etc..)
Here's a list of ways to get the most out of it:
The 5 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Your Bootcamp Experience:
1. Take Notes. Break your hand if you need to, ask your instructor to repeat things or give you more time to write. The notes are what you are paying for on your bootcamp. You should have At least 10-12 pages per day minimum. Also be sure to write down anything you don't understand to remind yourself to ask your instructor to clarify later on. You should review your notes once a month for the next 3-6 months.
2. Don’t argue, just do. Everything an instructor tells you to do should have a reason behind it. Sometimes it may be counterintuitive or not make sense to you. Don’t worry about that, instead just do what you are told. If things are not working for you tell your instructor, but be willing to try everything first.
3. Be willing to Be Honest With Yourself And Your Instructors. There are parts of your personality that are not helpful or meeting and attracting women. You have to be willing to look at yourself and how you communicate objectively without getting your feelings hurt in order to improve. Don't take anything an instructor tells you personally.
4. Be process oriented, not results oriented. Don’t worry about how any of the other students are doing, or if the instructors think you’re cool. Focus on the process of meeting girls, and the results will take care of themselves. Try to focus on the processes for going out, getting warmed up, approaching, trying to get attraction, movement, etc. Focus on specific processes that you are practicing.
5.The Comfort Zone is the enemy. Your body will try to trick you, and make you feel like you are going to die if you do something outside of it. But it is only by changing our comfort zone that we can improve our lives. You don't have to do things that are extremely outside of your comfort zone, but be willing to push yourself enough that you feel it.
Word.
Later this week I'll write about how to make sure that you are still making improvements when the workshop high wears off.
Later,
JS- The King Of Content
At this point I would ONLY recommend taking a Bootcamp with Brad P, or Adam Lyons. Other people like myself and Speer do more long term things with multiple trainings which are great. But I know a lot of guys are still spending thousands of dollars to take one time only bootcamp with fuckwads who are teaching watered down versions of stuff I taught 3 years ago.
So if you feel the need to spend 3Gs to take a bootcamp with one of the big time companies with shitty instructors (RSD, the company that shall not be named,Venusian Arts etc..)
Here's a list of ways to get the most out of it:
The 5 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Your Bootcamp Experience:
1. Take Notes. Break your hand if you need to, ask your instructor to repeat things or give you more time to write. The notes are what you are paying for on your bootcamp. You should have At least 10-12 pages per day minimum. Also be sure to write down anything you don't understand to remind yourself to ask your instructor to clarify later on. You should review your notes once a month for the next 3-6 months.
2. Don’t argue, just do. Everything an instructor tells you to do should have a reason behind it. Sometimes it may be counterintuitive or not make sense to you. Don’t worry about that, instead just do what you are told. If things are not working for you tell your instructor, but be willing to try everything first.
3. Be willing to Be Honest With Yourself And Your Instructors. There are parts of your personality that are not helpful or meeting and attracting women. You have to be willing to look at yourself and how you communicate objectively without getting your feelings hurt in order to improve. Don't take anything an instructor tells you personally.
4. Be process oriented, not results oriented. Don’t worry about how any of the other students are doing, or if the instructors think you’re cool. Focus on the process of meeting girls, and the results will take care of themselves. Try to focus on the processes for going out, getting warmed up, approaching, trying to get attraction, movement, etc. Focus on specific processes that you are practicing.
5.The Comfort Zone is the enemy. Your body will try to trick you, and make you feel like you are going to die if you do something outside of it. But it is only by changing our comfort zone that we can improve our lives. You don't have to do things that are extremely outside of your comfort zone, but be willing to push yourself enough that you feel it.
Word.
Later this week I'll write about how to make sure that you are still making improvements when the workshop high wears off.
Later,
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, January 11, 2010
31 Degrees in Miami this last weekend.
Ain't no punchline.
That shit was cold.
We had a bootcamp set for the weekend and the guys were great sports and we actually were able to make a lot of progress as well as giving the guys an idea about their strengths and disadvantages and what to do next.
Unfortunately the freezing rain was an issue as well as the fact that since it was Miami our hotel room didn't have heat. This is not as much fun as it sounds.
I also missed almost all of the weekend's football games though I'm glad I missed that Pats game.
Anyway shout out to the 12m2m guys in group one for having a great weekend despite the bad weather.
Best,
JS- The King Of Content
That shit was cold.
We had a bootcamp set for the weekend and the guys were great sports and we actually were able to make a lot of progress as well as giving the guys an idea about their strengths and disadvantages and what to do next.
Unfortunately the freezing rain was an issue as well as the fact that since it was Miami our hotel room didn't have heat. This is not as much fun as it sounds.
I also missed almost all of the weekend's football games though I'm glad I missed that Pats game.
Anyway shout out to the 12m2m guys in group one for having a great weekend despite the bad weather.
Best,
JS- The King Of Content
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
The Wire is AWESOME!!!
Hey guys,
As the 00-10s wound up I was egged on by several people to watch the HBO show The Wire. So I bought myself the DVD set for Christmas and so far I'm about halfway through season 4 of 5.
The collection of characters and different wasy that they all seem to move through the parallel worlds of the Baltimore police/political scene and the dope game on the streets is pretty spectacular. You add to it that every season and episode seems to build upon something we've already seen or add a new element or dimension to an already existing character is something I've never seen a show do before to this degree.
Friends of mine have been arguing for awhile about whether The Wire or The Sopranos was the best show of the 2000s and I'm not really sure right now. Maybe I'll have to re-watch the Sopranos at some point soon to get a fresh look as I remember being more into the Sopranos, but The Wire feels like it's done a little bit better.
But I'll reserve judgement until after I finish the series.
Anyone else have Wire thoughts?
JS- The King Of Content
As the 00-10s wound up I was egged on by several people to watch the HBO show The Wire. So I bought myself the DVD set for Christmas and so far I'm about halfway through season 4 of 5.
The collection of characters and different wasy that they all seem to move through the parallel worlds of the Baltimore police/political scene and the dope game on the streets is pretty spectacular. You add to it that every season and episode seems to build upon something we've already seen or add a new element or dimension to an already existing character is something I've never seen a show do before to this degree.
Friends of mine have been arguing for awhile about whether The Wire or The Sopranos was the best show of the 2000s and I'm not really sure right now. Maybe I'll have to re-watch the Sopranos at some point soon to get a fresh look as I remember being more into the Sopranos, but The Wire feels like it's done a little bit better.
But I'll reserve judgement until after I finish the series.
Anyone else have Wire thoughts?
JS- The King Of Content
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Female PSychology rough notes
Hey guys,
I'm busy designing the new 12M2M packets for bootcamp this weekend and I figured I'd share some of my notes here.
Here's half of the notes on my female sexuality talk, I'll put the other half in an email for the guys on my list tomor. If you're NOT on my email list sign up today by going to Sinnsofattraction.com, you'll get a free 7 part video course on opening and attraction just for joining and you'll get to see the second half of this post tomor.
Here's the outline of my talk, or half of it at least!
Female Psychology: Day 1 –Hour 2
I. The Key to understanding the relationship between evolution and attraction can be stated thusly. Women are evolutionarily programmed to seek out the sperm(and consequently man) who will offer the best chance at helping her have healthy(and sexy) sons and daughters. Subconsciously this causes women to sort men into two categories, Lovers and Providers. Furthermore the difference between a lover and a provider often comes down to the man’s ability to demonstrate dominance. Dominance is THE factor that causes attraction, as women are evolutionarily programmed to seek out dominant men. If you want to learn more about evolutionary biology I suggest The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.
II. Another factor to understand is the power of the female sex drive. Society has been set up in a way to make it seem as if men are the only gender that enjoys sex. This could not be further from the truth. Additionally women do not experience their sexual peak until the age of 32 while men experience their sexual peak at the tender age of 18. That means women are continually becoming more sexual until the age of 32. To learn more about the female sex drive check out Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden, Erotic Surrender by Claudia Varrin and the Story Of O by Pauline Reage.
III. Triune Brain Theory
Mammalian- Wraps around Reptialian. Limbic system. Hippocampus and the amygdala. Power station of our desires and motivations. Controls bonding and complex emotions such as jealousy, envy and love.
Reptilian- In charge of fight or flight instinct and automatic functions, also helps determine hierarchies and our need to dominate and one up others.
Cerebral Cortex- Controls Logic
IV. Logic Vs Emotion
All people make emotional decisions and then come up with logical arguments to support them.
What a woman says, indicates what she logically thinks she wants. What a woman does indicates what she REALLY wants
V. Sexual Arousal
Arousal is a combination of the Limbic and Reptilian brain. There are physical things happening as a woman becomes attracted. Arousal is an autonomic function.
Arousal must have the appropriate perceptual filter on it, in order for a woman to act on it(Credit SwinngCat for the wording). Each Brain system acts as a filter; logical- “He’s my type”, Emotional(limbic) Jealousy or Compeitition. Reptilian- Fear builds arousal. Women are sexually aroused multiple times a day but are not given the right desires to act on this arousal.
VI. Attraction is the feeling of wanting someone and the compulsion to act on that desire.
Attraction is a feeling, which means that it is transient and can end at any time.
Attraction in and of itself is useless without the proper amount of investment.
This is why investment and not attraction is the secret to seducing women.
Attraction exists only as a tool to increase a woman’s amount of investment in the man.
VII. Girls just want to have FUN!
Emotional Stimulation- What you gets you the girl is one thing and one thing only, THE WAY YOU MAKE HER FEEL!
Fun is the ULTIMATE attraction switch.
The Roles Emotions have with women and pickup
Using emotions to relate, ground yourself, and establish an identity for the
woman.
JS- The King Of Content
I'm busy designing the new 12M2M packets for bootcamp this weekend and I figured I'd share some of my notes here.
Here's half of the notes on my female sexuality talk, I'll put the other half in an email for the guys on my list tomor. If you're NOT on my email list sign up today by going to Sinnsofattraction.com, you'll get a free 7 part video course on opening and attraction just for joining and you'll get to see the second half of this post tomor.
Here's the outline of my talk, or half of it at least!
Female Psychology: Day 1 –Hour 2
I. The Key to understanding the relationship between evolution and attraction can be stated thusly. Women are evolutionarily programmed to seek out the sperm(and consequently man) who will offer the best chance at helping her have healthy(and sexy) sons and daughters. Subconsciously this causes women to sort men into two categories, Lovers and Providers. Furthermore the difference between a lover and a provider often comes down to the man’s ability to demonstrate dominance. Dominance is THE factor that causes attraction, as women are evolutionarily programmed to seek out dominant men. If you want to learn more about evolutionary biology I suggest The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, and The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.
II. Another factor to understand is the power of the female sex drive. Society has been set up in a way to make it seem as if men are the only gender that enjoys sex. This could not be further from the truth. Additionally women do not experience their sexual peak until the age of 32 while men experience their sexual peak at the tender age of 18. That means women are continually becoming more sexual until the age of 32. To learn more about the female sex drive check out Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden, Erotic Surrender by Claudia Varrin and the Story Of O by Pauline Reage.
III. Triune Brain Theory
Mammalian- Wraps around Reptialian. Limbic system. Hippocampus and the amygdala. Power station of our desires and motivations. Controls bonding and complex emotions such as jealousy, envy and love.
Reptilian- In charge of fight or flight instinct and automatic functions, also helps determine hierarchies and our need to dominate and one up others.
Cerebral Cortex- Controls Logic
IV. Logic Vs Emotion
All people make emotional decisions and then come up with logical arguments to support them.
What a woman says, indicates what she logically thinks she wants. What a woman does indicates what she REALLY wants
V. Sexual Arousal
Arousal is a combination of the Limbic and Reptilian brain. There are physical things happening as a woman becomes attracted. Arousal is an autonomic function.
Arousal must have the appropriate perceptual filter on it, in order for a woman to act on it(Credit SwinngCat for the wording). Each Brain system acts as a filter; logical- “He’s my type”, Emotional(limbic) Jealousy or Compeitition. Reptilian- Fear builds arousal. Women are sexually aroused multiple times a day but are not given the right desires to act on this arousal.
VI. Attraction is the feeling of wanting someone and the compulsion to act on that desire.
Attraction is a feeling, which means that it is transient and can end at any time.
Attraction in and of itself is useless without the proper amount of investment.
This is why investment and not attraction is the secret to seducing women.
Attraction exists only as a tool to increase a woman’s amount of investment in the man.
VII. Girls just want to have FUN!
Emotional Stimulation- What you gets you the girl is one thing and one thing only, THE WAY YOU MAKE HER FEEL!
Fun is the ULTIMATE attraction switch.
The Roles Emotions have with women and pickup
Using emotions to relate, ground yourself, and establish an identity for the
woman.
JS- The King Of Content
Monday, January 04, 2010
My Annual Resolutions post- Video style
Here it is,
Feel free to post your own resolutions here for accountability!
JS- The King Of Content
Feel free to post your own resolutions here for accountability!
JS- The King Of Content
Saturday, January 02, 2010
I'm # 1- The People Have Spoken
Hey guys,
Just checked email for the first time in the New Year, and I saw that I had been voted the # 1 PUA of 2009 by readers like you over at TSBmag.
I'm really flattered by this as I don't consider myself a PUA, let alone the best one of an entire year, but it's very nice to be voted in by all of you.
So thanks for the votes, and I promise, I'll keep doing what I've been doing, bringing the content and calling out the charlatans...
You can read the full list at:
Top 10 List
Best,
JS-The King Of Content
Just checked email for the first time in the New Year, and I saw that I had been voted the # 1 PUA of 2009 by readers like you over at TSBmag.
I'm really flattered by this as I don't consider myself a PUA, let alone the best one of an entire year, but it's very nice to be voted in by all of you.
So thanks for the votes, and I promise, I'll keep doing what I've been doing, bringing the content and calling out the charlatans...
You can read the full list at:
Top 10 List
Best,
JS-The King Of Content
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