Rule # 7 : Always End Interaction First

Here's a good piece of advice that many guys(including myself sometimes) don't take.

Whenever you're interacting with a woman, whether it's the first time you meet her, through the phone, or on a date you should always end the interaction first.

This does a few things:

1. It may end the interaction before she wants it to end leaving her wanting more but not getting it.

2. It shows you are a busy guy creating scarcity.

3. Most importantly it keeps you from looking like the needy guy hanging on to the conversation with a girl for as long as he possibly can.

You don't need to be rude about it, but a simple "Oh man I totally have to run" can be used to end any conversation.

And if you've been running good game then you should already have her phone number or have set up a date well before the conversation starts to linger creating the perfect time for an exit.

Hope that helps,

JS

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a tricky subject, for 2 reasons:

1. It's a pretty important "Basic" skill. Without making good eye contact, it is very hard to display confidence and you can end up looking insecure, or worse shady.

2. There's no such thing as "SEDUCTIVE" eye contact. Eye contact is important but it's not like you're going to figure out some sort of Rasputin-y eye contact magic that makes girls fall in love with you just by looking at them.

So how do we bring these two ideas into alignment?

Pretty easily actually, eye contact is MOST important on the approach, you want to make nice, comfortable eye contact with the girl/group you are approaching.

When I say nice comfortable eye contact I mean holding EC for at least 1-2 seconds before looking away. Generally you want to hold EC until the girl looks away but you want to avoid staring as that is creepy, so never hold the EC for longer than 3 seconds without looking away.

Another way to use EC is as an emphasis. If in Attraction I want to make a point, I can double up on eye contact as I'm talking. Generally as you're talking you want to make and break eye contact on that 1-3 second pattern.

With a group it's necessary to spread the EC out with the entire group rather than just stare at one girl the whole time.

To get more advanced you can start to think about what different kinds of looks you could use with EC for example giving a woman a funny look is very different than a sexy look but both require strong EC to make happen.

Hope that helps.

JS

Brainstorming: Ways To Convey Direct Interest

Lately, I've been talking about this idea of expressing direct (Non qualification based) interest in a girl early in the interaction as a way of

A. Defining the pickup for the girl. A lot of the time when you approach a girl especially if you're using an indirect opener the girl is unsure of what the interaction is, by using direct interest early, the girl knows you're interested in her romantically/sexually.

B. Escalating the interaction.

So here's my admittedly incomplete list of ways to express this direct interest in a competent way (as opposed to telling a girl she's hot or has great tits).

1. Why I like you statements. These are compliments that are framed as being the main reason or a main reason for your interest in her.

2. Statements of intent. The grandfather of direct interest. There are some really interesting Old, old, old school (like 2001) posts by a guy named Neo-Rio on ASF about SOIs solid stuff. I've also talked about them extensively on the Seduction Roadmap. SOIs are exactly what they sound like you give the girl a statement of what you are going to try to do.

3. Making plans/Asking her out. This is where normal guys do it right. Asking a girl out early ( as long as you don't get her phone # and leave in 3 mins) is a good way to demonstrate that you want to see her again and you're interested in dating her.

4. Relationship ?s. This is a technique I created after watching Captain Jack. Relationship questions like "Are you the jealous type" serve to frame the interaction in a romantic context. You would never ask a girl if she was he jealous type of girl unless you were considering her for a relationship and thus interest is very subtly expressed.

5. Assuming/Talking about a relationship. When you assume a relationship (even in a jokey role-playing way) you are expressing interest.

So those are 5 ways I came up with sitting around last night.

If you have any others leave them in the comments and I'll re-visit this topic sometime soon.

JS- The King Of Content

Response To A Great Comment

I usually don't pay much attention to the comments on this blog, I skim them to see if it's more of a " How Do I attract girls" overly simplified question that I have 100% answered in a million blog posts/products/talks or if it's more in the vein of the " I hope you die, cause you suck so much I take time out of my day to read your blog." variety.

Either way as Jim Rome used to say More of me and less of your comments makes for a better blog.

But there was an exception a few days ago on my long rambling diatribe about hitting on girls by a commenter named Mike.

Mike actually had a specific question and was able to actually think through the problem himself and present some different ideas about what might be happening (Hint if you want my advice be more specific, rather than asking how to pick up hot girls)

Mike's comment was as follows:

Thanks for the post!

One thing was unclear to me, can someone help me here: what are good and bad responses after you hitting on her = a statement of intent?
my guess is below - please correct / expand:

good reaction:
- her being happy for the statement like smiling
- her testing you (eg 'do you say this to all girls?'

bad reaction:
- trying to brush your statement off ('don't say such silly thing')
- her making effort making conversation non-sexual / business-like (?)
- mentioning her boyfriend?
- ignore? - if she smiles this is not ignore, is it.
- her looking uncomfortable
- her going away / ending conversation

Pretty much right on, but I will add a few things.

When you hit on girls no response is a good response. This is what I call passive acceptance, and it's a major factor in escalation. Most of the time girls will not react to escalation beyond laughing or smiling, so no reaction is a good reaction.

As for the bad responses, you pretty much nailed it, except obviously her ignoring the statement could be a good sign. Everything else is pretty right on.

The truth is it's NOT that hard to figure it out. The reason guys think they have trouble is because they want to ignore reality. They want the dream, that even tho the girl is obviously not interested and giving them a bad reaction that they are somehow just misreading the situation when usually the girl is simply not into you.

Hope that helps Mike and everyone else,

JS- The King Of Content

Creating and Passing Women's Tests

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

You're Leading her to a decision Not a yes....

This is one of the key realizations you need to make in order to actually start having success with women.

Your goal is not to lead a girl to a yes, necessarily but rather to lead her to make a decision about whether or not she wants you to hit on her.

If a girl won't let you hit on her or accept it, you're shit out of luck for turning that into anything romantic or sexual.

So the way to think about opening, social comfort, and attraction is that the goal is to lead her to a decision about whether or not she's interested in being hit on before you start to qualify her, as there is no point in trying to qualify a girl who isn't interested in you hitting on her.

How do you do this?

With what I'm tentatively calling direct interest. Direct interest is basically telling the girl you like her without qualifying WHY you like her as you will do in qualification. With direct interest you're tipping your cap and letting her know you like her by hitting on her.

The girl will either accept this or reject it at which point you can either qualify or move on.

JS- The King Of Content

Some thoughts on hitting on girls...

This article is now available on my new site.

Click here to read the article.

I swear I have a disease....

I HAVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



JS

An interesting thought on delivery from Jerry Seinfeld

Hey there,

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Mine was tarnished sightly by the Pats losing the Super Bowl but not as badly as you might think as I was convinced they would lose going in, so no biggie.

I wanted to share a quick thought on something I heard over the weekend.

There's this awesome new show on HBO called Inside Comedy or something like that hosted by David Steinberg. Their first show was about Don Rickles and Jerry Seinfeld and they had interviews with both which were pretty interesting.

The thing that stood out to me the most was when Seinfeld and Steinberg were talking about new material and how audiences can sniff it out when Seinfeld said he had a piece of material that always killed but he hated it as a joke, and one night he was about to do it but in his head he was debating and he finally decided to do it because it always got a good reaction, but this time it fell flat because even thinking about it falling flat made it so. He went on to say he was sure he delivered it the right way as well.

I thought this was interesting because I've seen the same thing with pieces of pick up material. I don't think it's any sort of "The Secret" type law of attraction BS but I do think that when you hesitate even mentally people pick up on it through microexpressions or body language or something we all tend to give away our true emotions even if we think we're masking it with good delivery.

So that's an interesting thought for the day.

JS

Re-Examining Pick-Up Dogma: Cocky and Funny

Welcome back to the always educational and entertaining re-examining pick-up dogma series, in today's article I want to talk about being cocky and funny.

Unlike most pick up dogma problems, this one has a clear patient x, and his name is David Deangelo(or Eben Pagen or something). David D started talking about being "cocky and funny" to Cliff of the old Cliffs List back in the early 2000s under the name sisonpyh (or hypnosis backwards) after he had been working with Ross Jeffries and they had a falling out (rumors abounded because RJ touched his girlfriend at the time,but who really knows?) sisonpyh appeared and "cocky and funny" was born.

Now to be clear I'm not evaluating the entire "Double Your Dating" methodology (which consista of getting email addresses like a retard) instead I'm focusing strictly on the idea of being "cocky and funny" which is a GREAT idea for attraction.

In fact it's one of the better frames for attraction period.

But there are some problems which I'll outline in a meandering Peter King style list with mismatched numbers and letters.

1. The Application being taught is terrible. C&F is taught as not answering questions, or giving a woman a straight answer, making fun of women instead of teasing them and a host of other terrible applications. C&F is a frame meaning that it governs behavior in an interaction. OVERALL you want to be cocky and funny in the attraction phase by joking about being awesome and making the woman laugh by being funny.

2. Not everyone can be funny. Sorry I had to say it but I keep it 100. Some people are funny, most people aren't. But luckily the funny part can be changed to playful and everyone can be playful. Playful is about being silly, and childish. But most importantly it's about not taking yourself, the woman or the interaction too seriously, you do that while being 'cocky' and you're doing pretty good.

3. Guys overdo it. C&F is good and it can get a great reaction especially early on, which can be a problem. Guys see that 1 c&f line worked well so they figure 50 must work incredibly. WRONG. Think of c&f as a seasoning like salt. Everyone loves salt, but no one would like it if you dumped a can of it on their food. 1 or 2 C&F comments in the first 20 minutes are MORE than enough.

4. Looking evasive. If a girl asks you a question once and you avoid answering it she'll laugh, but she'll also ask again and at some point you start to look evasive and shady because you're not telling her anything about yourself. It also violates the law of reciprocity.

5. David D is a dork. Unfortunately David D was a dork who didn't really get hot chicks (see my post on his wedding, do a search I'm too lazy to link) so he made up a bunch of overly harsh teases that would NEVER work in the real world my favorite being " That's a nice dress, you buy that new?" These are insults. Insulting women NEVER works write that down.

Anyway in conclusion Cocky and Funny is a great frame for attraction but you can't generate and keep attraction strictly by being cocky and funny, nor is it a complete system for attracting or seducing women.

Boom tho.

JS- The King Of Content

Real Quick Post today as I just wanted to share something I've been teaching in an advanced training class that will be helpful to some of you blog readers who are a little bit better with women.

Social Status Matters, NO ONE DENIES THIS! But unfortunately your overall social status may be much higher than your social status in the environment you're trying to pick a girl up in.

That's where this status equation comes into play, you're status in ANY Pick-up is extremely formulaic and easy to figure out/manipulate.

The Status Equation

Your status = Framing + Social Proof.

So let's break this down.

By now you should all have a basic understanding of how to frame yourself as high status (Hint it's called Attraction), there are more advanced ways of course like Name-dropping, Inside language, Correct Bragging and more. But this is a short blog post so what ya need to know is that you frame yourself through your words and actions as either high-medium-low status.

The other part is social proof or more importantly how people are reacting to you. Are people treating you like you're important? Do you know people in the environment? Etc...

Now these two can contradict and even out but combined they equal your status in any given interaction.

Kinda high level to think about in field, but interesting.

JS

Incentive and Emotions

I watched the Freakonomics movie the other day and it got me thinking about incentives. But more than incentives it got me thinking about how in any situation in which you are trying to persuade someone there are incentives but also emotions.

An incentive is a reason, reward or benefit someone gets from taking an action or making a decision. An example of an incentive being used in pick-up is the idea of bottle service. If you have a table and bottles of alcohol women are incentivized to talk to you, or go back to your table by the idea of free alcohol and or being around guys with $$$

But with all due respect to Steven Levitt, the incentive model ignores emotions and how emotions can affect decision making.

If we were all rational like economists predict based on market models than all it would take to motivate any group of people would be the proper incentive. But as we even see in the Freakonomics sometimes incentives fall by the wayside.

In the movie there is a short part where they follow an attempt to incentivize high school freshmen into raising their grades by offering them a small amount of money around $50. They follow two kids one of whom does raise his grades the other falls prey to peer pressure.

The peer pressure in this case is the emotional incentive. In this kid's case, it's more important and valuable to hang out with his friends and skateboard then it is to get that $50. Now obviously if the incentive were higher, he may have been more diligent, but that makes an entirely different point about price point behaviors which is less interesting. The point here was that when faced with a financial incentive or an emotional incentive 50% of the kids went with the emotion. Which basically backs up one of my favorite things I say which is this:

ALL PEOPLE MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS THEN USE LOGIC TO BACK THEM UP AFTER THE FACT!

So how does this relate to pick-up?

Pretty easily. Incentives do matter, so being able to demonstrate how awesome you are and how much a girl will benefit from being around you does matter. But it only matters as much not more than the emotion a girl gets from being around you. You can't just cover one side of the coin and hope to be successful.

Hope that helps,

JS

Why can't movers or cable companies be on time ever?

I feel as though this is a pretty simple task.

You say you're going to show up between 1-6 (an outrageous 5 hour time window) then show up somewhere in that time window.

Don't call me to squeeze me in at 12:30 because I will be getting Subway and the whole thing will become a mess.

Also I'm sure I have written this before but ALL cable/internet service providers are the worst. There literally is not one good one and I have tried them all from Time Warner to DirectTV and even some company that only exists in Miami. They all suck. Balls.

This time in bad cable guy service we were told they were coming between 1-6 (note the standard time window) and that they would call us 30 mins before they got here.

We never got a call until they had already left because we weren't there. Why weren't we there? Because it was 12:00 and our appt time (which they gave us) wasn't til 1. Then to add insult to injury, they told us they couldn't reschedule us until next Monday.

Then I yelled and was a bad customer and we got cable installed yesterday, with only minor inconvenience/incompetence.

Which brings me to my final point I want to make to big corporations: Stop rewarding people for bad behavior. In most companies that deal with the public (cell phones, hotels, cable) the only way to get them to help you is to be an asshole and make a big fuss. When you do that you get rewarded with money off your cell phone bill, room upgrades or sooner appointments.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucked up system that basically guarantees an adversarial relationship with customers?

What's worse is that the reason companies do this is to save money and time. They want to spend as little time as possible on each customer under the assumption that most people will just go along with shitty stuff because it's easier than making a stink which ironically is how you get what you want.

Anyway i'm just venting now, but I do think there's some point to the idea that all customer service industries need to reform their policies and practices to make things better for people who don't make a big deal out of things.

JS

I'm Moving

Yo,

I'm moving over the next couple of days so updates will be sporadic.

But next week I want to have a special theme week with assignments and stuff for you all for free.

So check back over the next few days to hear annoying moving stories when I periodically have internet.

Talk soon,

JS

The Dennis System

The real way to pick up girls :)




And yes I am having Always Sunny withdrawal...

JS

FACT: Women Make you Stupid(er)

Yo yo,

I was surfing the depths of the interweb yesterday and found a link to a pretty awesome article that confirms something I have been thinking for a long time.

The act of merely mentioning a woman's name makes men perform worse on standardized tests. That's right just the mere mention let alone real life interaction.

Is it any wonder cold approach can sometimes feel like the hardest thing on Earth? I think not.

The article as a whole is worth a read, and you can check it and the study out:

Here

Word.

JS

Microexpressions and pickup

Hey there,

I have been a busy busy beaver and also a sick beaver but that's another story hence no blogging for a long time.

My bad.

In the meantime I have also been studying new things that affect game hooray!

The main thing has been the work of Dr Paul Ekman. Mostly focused on emotions and facial expressions. I highly recommend checking out his website Paulekman.com

though if you don't feel like doing that I will summarize everything and tell you how to apply it to game just because I am such a nice guy :) Or I just like to hear myself talk even if it's blog form your choice.

Dr Ekman studied a ton of different cultures including ones that had no access to the media and discovered that there are 7 different kinds of UNIVERSAL facial expressions. That means no matter who you are,you express anger, fear, surprise, disgust, sadness, happiness/enjoyment, and contempt.

SO that's the good news, the bad news is that most people don't recognize these well and that people can engage in facial deceit (GASP!!!) and conceal their intentions.

The other good news is the existence of what Dr Ekman calls "microexpressions" these are 1/25-1/5 of a second flashes of emotion that EVERYONE has that you can't conceal without extensive(like juillard trained actor type) training.

So what happens when you approach a woman is she's going to flash a microexpression. Now in a dark nightclub while sipping on some syzurp it's difficult to see these tiny flashes, but in Day game this is a game changer. With a little education, ( I recommend the SETT and METT programs (which I did both of and got score of 80% METT and 96% SETT on Ekman's site, or if you want to save some money the book "Unmasking the face" by Ekman and Dr Wallace Friedson is like $8 at any bookstore.) you can learn to identify these and know EXACTLY what the girl is feeling on most approaches. It's LITERALLY like reading her mind in the first 2-3 seconds.

So far since I've studied this stuff I've seen a micro flash on EVERY single approach I've done ranging from happy(Going out with her this week) to disgust (a blowout shockingly). But mostly girls are surprised (especially on direct when it's like 90%) which is great feedback to my advice that you need to take a step back and let the girl adjust when doing direct day game so go me!

Another place where microexpressions are super useful is in physical escalation. If you watch the girls face as you escalate, you will see a flash. This is almost freakishly consistent as well, and again gives you a great bit of information for calibration. And yes, for the record all of my escalations have gotten happy flashes.

So to summarize, Dr Ekman's work is really interesting and will help you with calibration no matter where you are. The most effective piece for pickup is microexpression which are most useful in opening (day game) and in escalating where reading the girls microexpression will give you an almost 100% accurate idea of what she is thinking.

Hope that helps,

JS- The king of content

The Sky is Not Falling Again: On The Possibility of A Game Movie

The only Game movie that should get made is an in-depth look at all of Neil Strauss' various lies, embellishments and blowharding.

Instead it looks like MAYBE a movie will be made next year and already people are writing stupid posts about it and worrying that the world of talking to girls is coming to an end.

Fact: No one cares about the seduction community. The book did the rounds in 2005 and for a few months you might have had a girl or two ask about opinion openers other than that the result of all of Neil's publicity was nada.

Fact: LOTS of movies get bought and optioned and yet don't end up as major releases. Chances are (I know statistics and probabilities are hard for your brain) the movie won't even end up happening. I personally have a friend who wrote and sold a movie in 06 they have been trying to cast for 5 years and supposedly that is coming out this year.

Possible Fact: No one actually teaches the same shit from 2005 right??? I mean I know I don't and I'd be shocked if anyone other than Mystery was still teaching negs etc...

So seriously don't worry about it. Instead worry about getting out there and talking to women rather than finding ANY excuse under the sun not to which is what all of you talking about this movie are doing.

LOSERS.

JS

Reasonable VS Unreasonable Goals

This is sort of a New Year's post, call it semi-New Yearish...

I go back and forth a lot between whether I think it's good for guys to set reasonable or unreasonable goals.

The basic discussion comes down to this:

With reasonable goals you are MUCH MUCH more likely to achieve and therefore feel better about yourself and improve your life.

With unreasonable goals you have a MUCH MUCH MUCH worse chance of achieving these goals, however they may help you to reach higher than you would have with more reasonable goals.

So what's a guy to do?

Personally I only set realistic goals at this point of my life. It's fun to sit around and think of all these amazing situations but IME you just end getting pissed off because you won't be able to achieve the goal easily and most people (myself included) don't have the perseverance necessary to keep going through failure after failure after failure.

So my final official take is this:

If you're going to set goals, be realistic. It is not relaistic to think you will go from NEVER talking to girls to getting 4 Same Night Lays a month in 3 months. It is not realistic to expect yourself to be trying to get laid during your first few approaches etc.

The more realistic your goals are the higher the chances that you will make actual progress towards them and improve your life. Unrealistic goals have another name I like to call them; fantasies.

JS

It's been awhile...

I'm not dead.

Just been lazy and busy with other crap over the holidays.

But I'm back now and looking forward to doing a lot of posting 2012.

But first I need to go finish this week's Sexual Triggers video and work on a couple of other projects. And I should really go to the gym.

I'll post another re-visiting article sometime this week and content will return to normal starting tomor.

Hope everyone had a good NYE.

JS