Thursday, April 09, 2009

Neediness Deined

What’s up hombres,

Today I wanted to briefly talk about being needy.

Neediness is one of the biggest sticking points guys have when they first get into the dating scene.

Neediness generally comes from an inner psychology point of view from scarcity. When you are not meeting a lot of women, or getting laid it can be difficult to not over pursue when you are getting good signals from a girl.

A lot of people misunderstand what constitutes neediness. Calling a girl 3 times a day can be needy or can build a connection. It all depends on one thing. If the girl is reciprocating. If she’s calling you or texting you back then it’s not needy to keep contacting her. If she stops and you keep going you’re being needy.

If you always try to hang out with a girl and she is always saying no but you keep asking, you’re being needy. If the girl always ends the interaction first and you try to keep her there as long as you can, you guessed it needy.

So how do you keep from coming off needy?

First it helps to have other things going on in your life. It’s much harder to be needy the busier you are.

Second you never want to send more than one form of communication a day without a response. If you call her and she doesn’t call back, don’t text her, facebook her etc…

Third, don’t call every day unless she’s calling you an equal amount. You don’t want to call every day unless she’s reciprocating.

Fourth make sure you end every interaction. Yes this is stupid game playing that the rules would be proud of, but it works.

Fifth, don’t spill deep feelings right away, you can flatter a girl as much as you want as long as you don’t allude to a future or confess feelings that you are inappropriate until after you’ve slept with her.

And lastly don’t think about having a relationship with a girl before you’ve selpt with her at least 3 times. Until you’ve had repeated sexual encounters keep that thought out of your head as it can make you captain needy.

Hope that clears things up.

S

13 comments:

  1. did you read David Wygant's blog yesterday?

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  2. Anonymous10:50 AM

    i love your shit man. I like how you update your blog regularly. Keep up the good work.

    -Ty

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  3. Anonymous2:02 PM

    Terrible post, Hypnotica is gunna get ya!

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  4. 100 fucking points for this awesome post!

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  5. I'm sure this advice is very sound, but it seems a bit reactive to me. How come we're letting the girl dictate the pace of the interaction?

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  6. Anonymous8:03 AM

    SPOT ON.

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  7. Anonymous9:33 AM

    Differentiate accelerated comfort (i.e., future projection) to decrease LMR v. not talking about the future...

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  8. fuck i love how you give spot on practical examples. opposite of david d who gives random useless theories or very specific lines that you can use in 1 out of every million interactions

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  9. Anonymous3:30 PM

    "Deined" or "Defined" haha

    anyway good post.

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  10. OMG! I love this post. So many times I have gone out with girls, and I've felt that neediness of "omg this is a girl I can keep around, and I want to express my feelings, blah blah blah," and I end up losing her because I felt I came off too aggressive and emotional too early in the interaction.

    Great post and good pointers to keep in mind.

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  11. Anonymous9:48 AM

    wow....that's a very good breakdown for the definition of being needy...i thought i was avoiding the needy "look" but that pin pointed some areas i messed up in the past...live and learn....thanks Sinn

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  12. Anonymous9:48 AM

    wow....that's a very good breakdown for the definition of being needy...i thought i was avoiding the needy "look" but that pin pointed some areas i messed up in the past...live and learn....thanks Sinn

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  13. There is something I read called "Kill Your Desperation" by some guy named Pook. Those who read it.. point end done!

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