I agree with everyone's comments about Erika... There's a reason she's not on the blogroll or a teacher I endorse in any way shape or form.
But she did bring up the issue of complete 100% honesty with the multiple women I'm sleeping with, and I like to believe that I'm as honest as you can be and actually still get results.
I try to be as honest as possible in my life especially with women I'm seeing. However this is not ALWAYS possible as some honesties are hurtful to these same women.
So I think the real culprit in all of this is the completely hypocritical standards of 100% honesty that 100% of people don't live up to. And I'm talking in real life not just in the SUISC. I mean everyone lies to their parents, or their boss, or their spouse, or the homeless guy who asks you for change... But then the same people turn around and tell their kids to be completely honest when 100% honesty is not always the best policy in relationships of all types. between both genders.
I use to live by the rule of complete honesty! If someone was a douchebag, I told them how I felt. If a girl looked fat I would let her know. If a girl wanted to come over on anohter girl's night I would respond " Sorry sweetie, you know it's Val's night." This is a very anti-social way to go through the world! Even though I still probably call people and situations out too much, I have learned when to keep my mouth shut professionally and socially.
Erika and practicers of radical honesty or some other such spiritually aimed principle that demands no need for social tact, live in a fantasy world.
It would be really nice if we could all be 100% honest all the time with everyone and never have negative connotations from that. But it's not realistic. People get their feelings hurt, people get angry and then become vindictive, people overreact and extrapolate from small things... So sometimes lies of omission or little white lies to maintain someone's emotions are a good thing.
That's why I chose that comment, because it pisses me off when people get on their high horse about honesty in a mostly dishonest world...
S
Monday, April 27, 2009
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so true, mate! that's why i love you as a teacher!
ReplyDeleteerika exploded onto the scene a while back for no reason at all! she was celibate with no experience whatsoever. no knowledge and no connections to the scene. everyone's been kissing her ass out of the sheer fact that she has a vagina and some people are so socially messed up that they think it's something special when a girl attends their presentation or supports their stuff.
she's a weirdo with very immature perspectives on social dynamics. she's going to disappear very soon.
love,
jason
Yep... Imagine if you and I decided to open the lid on what we know about all of the self-proclaimed "Dating Gurus" of this community.....
ReplyDeleteIt'd make for a great book, I suppose. But really, there is no point, practically speaking.
Social tact and community are like oil and water. They just don't mix....
The only reason you would be encouraged to be 100% honest, and to be praised for it, would be for the good of others. In other words you would be praised for being selfless, thinking of the other first. This praise is far from being selfless though, because that 'honesty' would bring that other person advantages, and privately bring you disadvantages. If the other person was selfless being 100% honest and open, what then?
ReplyDeleteisn't that why its the "sinns of attraction" and not the "nuns of attraction?"
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great posts Sinn!
~Annex
I love you, too, Sinn.
ReplyDeleteAnd actually I wasn't dissing on you at all. My perception of you is that you are more honest than many. I was just stating my own personal preference as a woman, which you are of course free to take or leave as you see fit.
It's important to me though that a female perspective gets heard in all this, because once guys start to get good at the "game," it's even more important to be aware of the impact they may be having on someone else's life.
Also, I disagree with Anonymous. This is not about being selfless. Honesty is good for both people. Guys who practice honesty will end up with girls who want the same thing they do, which leads to a lot less headaches in the end.