What’s up guys,
This is a post that probably most of you will be able to relate to.
I’m sure other people have talked about this before or it’s been posted about, but I feel like power and sex are two of the major issues in most male-female relationships.
When it comes to dating, the general power dynamic between men and women, looks something like this:
The girl generally has more power before sex, and the guy generally has more power after sex.
This is one of the reasons that girls will sometimes try to make you wait for sex or give last minute resistance. This is also one of the reasons why qualification, and demonstrating small amounts of investment in her work so well.
Guys will generally work and invest more in the girl in the courtship period before sex has happened. Many of you guys reading this ( myself included) are guilty of this. That’s one of the big reasons that girls have trust issues with guys.
We should all know by now that it’s unattractive to give all your power away for the chance of hooking up. But how do we deal with the fact that you will have less power in any interaction with a woman until you’ve had sex with her?
The first step to evening the power differential, is having personal boundaries and standards, and not compromising them for booty. This makes a much bigger difference with women than you can imagine. Boundaries and standards tell people a great deal about how you expect to be treated by women, and give a glimpse as to your level of success with them.
Next you need to consciously get the girl to invest in the interaction. Contrary to popular belief, a girl can be WAY more invested in a relationship than you are but she still holds the power edge until you have sex. Because she controls where the relationship ultimately goes. It is impossible to have a long term relationship without ever having sex. Imagine being married to a woman who will never have sex with you… Doesn’t sound like a great time, though it does sound like most people’s marriages ☺ So you get girls to invest by qualifying, and gradually increasing her compliance. It may seem simple, but asking her to bring something to a date or hold your drink for a second goes a long way.
Retain your power through decisiveness. Make sure that you are the one to plan dates, you’re the first one to get off the phone, and that you always take a little bit longer to return her calls and texts than she does. These things seem small but by being decisive and busy you retain power before and after sex.
All right that wraps up the first question on sex and power.
Sometime soon I’ll write about the second question.
How do you maintain a healthy balanced power ratio after sex?