Thursday, April 23, 2009

How To Retain F**k Buddies Part 2-Honesty And Expectations

Welcome back guys,

Today I want to talk about the second part of retaining Fuck Buddies. Honesty and Expectations.

Once you’ve started seeing the girl once a week or once every couple of weeks, the next part of retention is honesty.

I personally believe in getting to know people really well before I date them exclusively. I usually have to know a girl for about 3 months before I’m ready to start calling her my girlfriend. I let girls know this upfront.

It’s very important that you let girls know your feelings on exclusivity right away. Now there is a major caveat that guys miss here… You don’t want to make the girl feel like a temporary option or a sexual plaything.

A student of mine recently told me that he was dating a girl and told her that while he would exclusively sleep with her, he was still going to date other girls. That’s basically like telling the girl you like her, until someone better comes along.

The overall vibe I adopt is that we are actually friends. In fact I tell the girl how much I appreciate her friendship. I hang out with these girls, the same way I hang out with my male friends. The only difference is that I don’t cuddle or hold hands with my guy friends!

The second thing I want to talk about is managing expectations. A lot of guys who are successful with women, lead girls on with the possibility of a monogamous relationship. You want to make sure that you actively manage her expectations of the relationship.

This means that you give her back the stuff she “leaves” at your place the next time you see her. It means you don’t say ambiguous things like “ who knows what can happen with us down the line.” If you don’t believe you’d actually date her exclusively.

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned from the SUISC is that you do not have to lie to girls to get sex. You can be honest ( and nice) about what you want and expect from her and she can decide if that’s something she wants to deal with.

Tomor we’ll wrap this up by talking about how to deal with the DTR conversation…



  1. "You can be honest ( and nice) about what you want and expect from her and she can decide if that’s something she wants to deal with."


  2. Great stuff Sinn, this is exactly what I'm lookin for right now. I have a primary girl, and have been meeting other women as well, and its great. This way I'm not needy or desperate for sex, and at the same time, I'm actually starting to have feelings for this girl.

    Its funny reading this stuff, I stopped and realized, "holy shit, Sinn is actually talking to guys, not about pickup, or how to get a phone number, but how to deal with the host of women you're fucking"

    I wonder how many guys are reading this thinking, "Let me get this straight, you're CHEATING on your girlfriend?! HERESY!"