Monday, April 06, 2009

Lessons Learned From The Rock Of Love Bus...

I finally got cable again when I moved , and so I’ve caught up on a lot of bad reality TV lately.

I don’t know why I watch certain bad shows. Part of me watches them because I’m fascinated by the depths people will sink to. Part of me watches it because it makes me feel much better about being myself. And part of me watches them the way people always talk about watching train wrecks. It’s horrible, it’s ugly and it’s riveting at the same time.

Of the shows I’ve really made a point to tivo since I got interested in Dating Science, the best ones have been Average Joes (Amazing when they sent in a boat of super good looking guys to compete after the guys thought they would all just be average) A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila ( Also known as the low self esteem Olympics).

I’ve just started watching The Rock Of Love Bus this season. That’s right the show starring washed up former Poison front man Brett Michaels. Who also had a sex tape with Pam Anderson.

Watching shows like this and the equally entertaining For The Love of Ray J, I like to look for attitudinal clues on the parts of the guys involved. Now I know much of the shows are scripted, yada, yada, yada… But you can still see a lot of the bleifs and attitudes these guys have towards women, sex and relationships.

One of the things I’ve noticed with Brett Michaels is his complete comfort with having multiple girls. This goes beyond the theories espoused by Zan that to a natural seducer “ They are all his girls”. Brett Michaels truly believes he deserves to have multiple girls. Now granted having been a rock star for almost 30 years and having groupies has no doubt helped him get to this thinking.

But can it be emulated without the 30 year river of vagina?

I think it can, one of the best things I’ve gotten out of the community is the idea that the way you think about things and your beliefs shape your life.

A lot of guys have really unhealthy and unproductive beliefs about women sex and relationships. In addition they have a lot of beliefs that conflict and cause a lot of internal friction. This is what happens with approach anxiety. Parts of you want to approach that beautiful girl you see on the street. But other parts of you don’t want to experience rejection or are afraid of what other people are going to think, or worry that you’re not going to know what to say.

So while it’s always good to strive for helpful beliefs, you have to remember the idea that beliefs do not have to be true to be helpful. In fact many of the best guys with women have delusional self confidence.

Watching Brett Michaels you can see his complete belief in his right to have beautiful women from his making out with both girls he brings on a date right in front of each other to his complete confidence in telling the visiting former boyfriends of girls on the bus that they’re girls got pulled…

I’d say it’s definitely worth an hour to see it.

Sundays on VH1.



  1. Anonymous1:19 PM

    LOL, I love rock of love!
    eventhough he is total out of his prime as rockstar he is a celebrity in vh-1 and those girls compete for him is awesome.
    reminds me of speer in a good way being surrounded by all thouse women.
    the girls are hot but airheads damn freakin hot..yep they got pulled fo shizzle

  2. Anonymous3:04 PM

    Brett's got it easy... this show also shows the importance of LIFESTYLE.

  3. Anonymous3:58 PM

    I would love to see your thoughts on i love ray j and his approach as a 'natural' or californication. The way u dissect these shows are interesting.

  4. Anonymous4:19 PM

    While he's up there in age and doesn't have all his hair left, Bret Michaels is far from washed up. The 2008 Poison tour was one of the top 10 grossing tours of the year.

  5. Peacehammer11:13 AM

    OT. I just listened to your free CD. Good job. You're much younger than me, but your advice hit home. I just went through an experience where PU helped me land an ex-model but when the real me came out, she was like "You're totally different than you were at the party." Ouch. I'm picky about who I listen to in the community, but you're on the list.

  6. another cheer for B. Michaels and Rock of Love......aside from its entertainment value, he's so unflappable...the chicks eat it up like crack rock.