Monday, August 20, 2007

LR: Fear the stache

I have grown an ugly hairy colin ferrel-esque moustache in an effort to look more sleazy.

It is awesome... I look like a pirate character from a punk rock bmovie. On the first night, I pump a set's BT then I hand her asian ass off to Future. Then I hit a moving set makeout with her then Savoy puts his finger up her friend's ass. The next set offers me her # after she says she's not staying up late...

That night ends poorly as Future decides that instead of pulling and banging the asian hottie, he should come home and hang with his boy...

Flash forward to the second night and we are at a MUCH tougher hipster weirdo and 90% asian club. Asian girls are not my thing personally but there were a lot of hot ons there that night. And Asian girls are notoriously tougher in clubs on newbies. They don't generally voulunteer as much in the conversation and thier not real reactive.

So I'm working with students and we're having a lot of rough spots. It's real loud, the girls are hot and there's not an overabundance of sets around...

I decide I'll demo, I open a short girl with big boobs, she ignores me the first time as she's on her cell phone. I repeat 30 seconds later...

It's not really on, she thinks i'm funny, but not attracted enough yet... I run a FAP, I pull her in and then push her away. She starts to want to leave to find her brother( Insert obvious foreshadowing here) and I dismiss her by telling her that if she keeps standing here, I'm going to ruin her for all other men...

I work with more students, more blow-outs. Some progress.... I had a real heart to heart with a student who was in a real bad place the whole weekend. I hope that guy gets some help. I re-open her and it's ON. This is the power of take aways and moustaches I snicker to myself.

She moves me to have a cigarette. Cigarettes they get you laid almost as much as The Mystery Method. Side effects include death. Once a girl re-locates you, it's fucking over and you will be playing my favorite type of game. Don't fuck up game.

I move her to get drinks 2X and back into a seated location. Movement is your best friend for SNLs... move, move, move.

I run the question game. i find out she hasn't had sex in 4 years. I go Domainant and sexual on her and tell her I'm going to Make her my dirty little slut later... She says: " promise."

I try to make out with her somewhere along when she moved me for a cigarette, but I got rejected. i went in again and it was on. I even tried a trick I learned from the last LR girl and massaged her tongue with mine like a snake... sounds weird, feels erotic. This girl commented...

I suggest bouncing. She agrees, I close my tab and leave with her.

We get downstairs and her brother( who we met in a charming example of humanity, when he yelled at her in front of me about not seeing him as he modeled clothes) he needs a ride. The girl uses one of my tactics and tells me it's 6 blcoks away when it's Vermont and something in almost silver lake... We ride there in silence as her brother and the guy she's agreed to fuck are both in the car...

We drop him off. I start fingering her in the car, I pull back to Savoy's and close the deal in the guest bedroom. No LMR...

Future gets laid around the same time with the asian from the night before, and all is right in the universe.

3 SNLS this month puts me in the lead....


And yes it's feels good to be a gangster.

S

7 comments:

  1. LMFAO!

    An effort to look more sleazy?!?! That's hilarious!

    So you've got the Mohullet, and a Stache! All you need now is to trade the M3 in for a 1984 T top Firebird with a pair of driving gloves... and you my friend are all set to cruise the high schools lookin for chicks ;)

    -Priest-

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  2. Anonymous12:23 AM

    "Cigarettes they get you laid almost as much as The Mystery Method. Side effects include death."

    .....laughing my ass off!!!!

    that snl seemed so effortless. besides the moustache. great job!

    keep goin

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  3. u give advice sinn?

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  4. hahaha I use to find asians incredibly easy in hs, now ive just lost interest but the other day i opened one for my friend, very hot, very cute, very funny, though i agree most are very closed at first..

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  5. Anonymous2:12 PM

    "I run a FAP..."

    What's that?

    Also, is there a cool way to deny a cigarette when a girl offers you one? Without coming across as a tool?

    Comments from anyone appreciated.

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  6. You are hilarious Sinn. And yeah I dunno what is up with Asian girls. Whenever I try to talk to them they just stand there and giggle and run away...like they don't speak English or something...but they do!

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  7. Anonymous4:19 AM

    FAP = future adventure projection

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