Sunday, August 26, 2007

Apologies...

I've been thinking about girls I've been with and people who have been in my life that i haven't been a very good person towards, and in my new ongoing effort to try to be a nicer person, I thought I should publicly apologize to some people...

So here goes:

I'm sorry to Annie for being a terrible whatever i was, and not telling you how much I loved you until it was too late. I'm sorry that we met at a point in my life where I couldn't be faithful to anyone. I'm also sorry for making you wait at my house while I was getting high with Chris in PB. I am not sorry for the hilarious joke I kept making for months that no one else seems to think is funny...

I'm sorry to Barrie for not knowing what I wanted, and jerking you around. Looking back it seems like we only wanted each other when we couldn't have it...

I'm sorry to Meggan for making you fall in love with me when I wasn't prepared for what that meant.

I'm sorry to Angela for getting pissed at your LMR and ending all contact with you after I had made you fall in love too...

I'm sorry to my Mom for not being able to get over your cheating, I won't ever be able to and I'm sorry for that too...

I'm sorry to Christianna for throwing up on you at your birthday. You weren't the only one who was intimidated, and sometimes I deal with my insecurities with alcohol.

I'm sorry to the girl in SD who when she was drunk I fucked her roomate instead. Then convinced her to not tell you so I could sleep with you too... Looking back not a good call.

I'm sorry to Lauren for not being able to get over my crush on you and be a better friend.

I'm sorry to Cara for just giving up on our relationship when I got bored...

I'm sorry to Margret for not being supportive of you and helping you when you were depressed.

I'm sorry to all the girls I slept with whose names I can't remember.

I guess also that in the spirit of apologizing I should apologize to some other people too...

I'm sorry to Ron and Gabe for overreacting to something small, and then completely cutting you guys out. I needed a new life and I subconsciously needed to cut you guys off to reinvent myself. I hope you guys are happy. And I can look back on the time of " The Boys" and smile.

I'm sorry to Nick for my 05 breakdown that I aimed at him. I should probably apologize to more people than that for my New Year's breakdown too...

I'm sorry to Stan, and Chris for all the shit talking. If I'm apologizing for shit talking, I should probably include Mehow too. I used to be insecure about my game and would try to tear others' game down to make myself feel better. I definetly don't expect to be friends, but it was a douche bag move, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to Thompson for not taking your game seriously for sooo long. I do now if that's any cosolation.

I'm sorry to everyone I've been jealous of and have acted from that... that's a big list. Jealousy is a terrible toxic emotion.

I apologize to all the people I'm sure I've forgotten, but was probably a douche bag to... I've realized over the last year that i engage in a lot of immature behavior and I think I've made great strides this year in being a better, more mature, less selfish person. I still have a ways to go, but who doesn't.

I think the really important part about it, is

I'm working on it.

S

21 comments:

  1. wow sinn that is pretty amazing stuff

    it takes a BIG fucking man to well, man up and say I'm sorry

    Huge kudos . . . ! I'm a big fan of your work and your journey toward self-actualization is quite something else

    awesome

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  2. takes balls sinnster

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  3. Mehow3:05 PM

    No problem

    -mehow
    www.mehow.tv

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  4. Cool post. The only persons you know (that I'm aware of) that you didn't mention were Style and Mystery.

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  5. Anonymous4:08 PM

    this is great! i have huge respect for such a step. especially the apologies concerning other puas. i know how hyper-competitive this business is. wow!

    now you've officially crossed the line from "one of many pick-up gurus" to "one of few self-improvement gurus". i consider the tyler durden of 2007 to be in the last group, too.

    you're on the right path, sinn!

    much love,

    paracal

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  6. Anonymous4:38 PM

    Great example of what it takes to put your ego aside.

    Much respect.

    -JimSmith

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  7. Deep brother... Props.

    -Priest-

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  8. I forgive you. Lets hug it out big boy.

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  9. Anonymous6:37 PM

    Great post.

    I haven't (and may never) forgive my mom either. But that hasn't stopped me from wondering if that isn't holding me back.

    I'm considering forgiving her, solely for my sake. But I really don't want to do it.

    But I keep hearing that doing so sets you free.

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  10. This is inspiring Sinn, congrats!

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  11. I'm the 10+ guys to say - Congrats.

    When you mentioned "The Boys", it got me into tears because my biggest fear right now is the thought of having to cut my two best friends out, and when you mentioned "The Boys" I realized those must have been as close to you as my friends are.

    I know I might sound delusional (and stupid for posting my personal problem as a comment on another guys blog) but I do think they will change, they have a little bit, towards achieving what they truly want.

    If not, I fear I might have to cut them off like you cut your boys out. Hopefully, I may also one day think of my days with them and smile.

    Peace

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  12. Anonymous11:54 PM

    I feel a little bit better seeing that I am not the only guy that feels remorse for fucking around with girls to "practice".

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  13. This is a very interesting post. I wonder to what extend this "asshole behaviour" has helped you grow your game by not sticking to one relationship but always looking for more.
    Love your blog man, keep it up.

    Ivo

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  14. Anonymous1:07 AM

    Man, I look up to you bro.

    You too Mehow.


    Jay

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  15. gusty dude, you got my respect

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  16. Anonymous10:16 AM

    A lot of respect for you to do something like that. I think a lot of men are afraid of being vulnerable when doing something like apologizing. Put you put your pride aside and I commend you for that. It wasn't until one of my own family members essentially slapped in the face with a detailed email of some of the 'bad' behaviours I was doing that I finally realized that I needed to change and I need to say sorry for my actions. I realized that the work wasn't against me.

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  17. It takes balls to put yourself out there and admit your faults. It takes bigger balls to address your faults in person (even if by way of a phone call) to the individual you impacted. If that's the next step, good for you. If you just wanted to use your blog as a confessional to get some weight off your chest, well, at least your hearts in the right place.

    Regardless, it's inspired me to address a few B.S. issues I've created....

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  18. Good first step.

    But actions are louder than words.

    Pick up the phone, bruh.

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  19. Anonymous4:59 AM

    lol - the 'mehow' poster above isn't mehow. this is mehow!

    i check this blog about once a week because sometimes I find gems in here.

    your game is definitley tight.

    i'm all about happy and positive so I acknowladged you in my book despite our history of flames

    the apology is cool and appreciated!

    keep the positive coming.

    -m

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  20. Big steps, bro.

    It sucks to apologize. But once you've done it, you wonder what took you so fucking long. I wish I'd known that earlier.

    I'm not Jewish, but for a while I would practice Yom Kippur. As I understood it in my weird-ass white boy way, it's a day of atonement, where you do two things. You find everyone you owe an apology to for the year, and tell them. And you fast from sundown to sundown for one day. If you do these things, you are completely forgiven, and get a new year to live a new, and better life.

    I apologize to you and everyone from TMM, RSD, or any other crews I talked shit about. We can disagree on approach and methodology, but one thing I'm learning really fast now, thanks to friends who keep me in check, is we do not disagree at all on the mission.

    We are tireless in our search to become the best men we can be, and then share all we learn with as many men as we can so we create a better, happier, sexier world.

    You are a good man. You are a grown-ass man. Respect.

    - Sean

    P.S. However, I do NOT apologize for talking shit about the Colts all season long. Daddy Brady and the Patriots are going to destroy the NFL this year, and you KNOW this to be true. :)

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  21. Yo, fool... It's good too see that you're taking steps in a positive direction and I'm glad you're still pursuing this PUA thing. I always knew you could be great if you stuck to something. I still miss you and i won't forget how easy friendship was when we were five years old. I hope your mom and dad are alright...I looked you up to let you know that my pops passed away in a motorcycle accident. I thought you should know...You can hit me up at 310.804.1781 if you ever want to get back in touch. I'll always have love for you man and there never was anything to forgive... Pride has always been our mutual Sinn...

    P.S. Keep the ladies sickeningly on the taint...I through that in to prove it's me ;)

    - the tightest fool in the game

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