Friday, August 24, 2007

Highs and lows are normal..

I had a really shitty day yesterday... I was hung over after failing to pull a bartender who had already told Shaft AKA DD aka I don't know to leave because she would take me home, then she got so drunk she fell down and I bailed seeing a cockblock or drunk driving death in my future if I stayed...

It took me 3 hours to get out of bed due to reading, and general malaise...

Then it took me another 3 hours to get to the gym including a trip to my burrito place, and some episodes of scrubs as I took care of months old email...

Then I debated between going out or staying in. I ALWAYS feel guilty when I don't go out, It's a unique part of my pathoogy that makes me better because i go out and practice, but it would be nice to have a compulsion for going out.

At around 9 I am tired, feeling anti-social and want to read comic books, so I decide against going out and stay in.

It was just what I needed as I woke up early (for me) and got a couple of things done today. Now I'm waiting for my car to get towed to a tire shop so i can get the blown out tire fixed...

I have to remind myself that it's not normal to be ecstatic every day and that there will be some days I'm depressed. it's how I cope with those days that ultimately lets me know if I've actually changed or if I'm juyst good at pretending.

Yesterday and today make me feel like I have actually changed and that's exciting.

S

7 comments:

  1. This post reminds me of this that I saw on bmindful - Nothing Lasts

    ReplyDelete
  2. i had a shitty day yesterday too man.. i thought its only me, guess its normal, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ware_ru11:49 PM

    I remember reading a post by Tyler recently that said Tony Robbins explained it like this:

    When you're a positive person and focused on offering value and externally-focused like that, every once in a while you'll hit those quick (couple days long) stints of depression that are NECESSARY to get back into realignment with YOURSELF and your own values and selfishness.

    While that doesn't relate directly from your post, the concept probably still applies

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sinn you are down to earth and that is inspiring not a head full of hot air like some ( i won't give funny examples...7 letters spanish bull-shit)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4:06 AM

    Awesome! i'll use this post as an reason to not go out. I had a shitty yesterday, having a shitty today and I think I might have a shitty day tomorrow aswell...

    thanks Sinn! now I don't feel so bad about not going out:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel yah on that one...it's ok to have a chill night once in a while, and I enjoy being alone/reflective at times, even if I feel guilty and go out twice as hard the next night.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Most of the people I know have been down for the past week, myself included. I think its the brazen August heat. I keep reminding myself that it's going to cool down in a month or so and think about how awesome the Fall is going to be, so I can mentally chill out a little. I guess I'm trying to reframe the weather.

    ReplyDelete