Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Lessons Learned From Students Part 2 of 5- Tequila

What’s going on guys,

We’re back with the second part of Lessons I’ve Learned From Students, last time I talked about the ideas of mentally reframing limiting beliefs, using mental rehearsal and the story of The Admiral.

Today I wanted to talk about another member of my 3 person private coaching group.

This guy we call Tequila, because of his fondness for my least favorite alcohol.

When Tequila joined up I knew we were going to have a problem. As un-PC as it is to sound, guys who are MASSIVELY overweight (I’m talking 75-100 lbs) are ALWAYS going to have problems with women until they lose some of the weight.

I’m sure, I’m going to get a ton of emails about that, but the truth is it broadcasts a loud message about your health and self esteem.

Tequila was about 50LBS overweight and I told him that if he wanted to maximize his time in the program we needed to work on his weight loss as part of a new lifestyle.

Tequila also has some major advantages, he’s got a great sense of humor, is fun to be around and has a group of HOT women he made friends with in college. In fact that was the biggest problem Tequila had from day 1 he couldn’t escape the “friend” zone.

The first thing I wanted to do for Tequila, was set him up with a Lifestyle plan that includes exercise. He liked Mixed Martial Arts a lot, so I suggested he took some classes in addition to joining a gym. Over the course of the last 5 months Tequila has lost 40 lbs, and is below 250ILBs for the first time since high school! He also has a social life revolving around exercise from being on a co-ed soccer team to going kayaking on dates with girls almost every weekend.

We also figured out WHY he always got stuck in the friend zone. He NEVER touched girls, after being introduced.

Even when I gave him the reset model for touching and a normal escalation sequence, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Over the phone he kept telling me that he just couldn’t touch girls unless there was a social excuse to do so. So he could give girls kisses on the cheek when he saw them for the first time at a party, but he couldn’t bring himself to try to hold her hand.

With that I knew what we needed to do, we had to come up with a specific set of touching escalations that had social “excuses” built in. This actually majorly changed how I now teach touching, as there are a ton of socially acceptable reasons to touch girls from high fiving a commonality to demonstrating how a couple were walking by going arm in arm. I also now have further classified touching into categories and sections of the pickup. The reset model remains completely correct, but the sequence and acceptance rate of touching sky rocketed from the previous sequences I have been teaching. In fact I would say it completely revamps the way you communicate physically with women.

Once Tequila started being able to touch girls, he learned that escalating was simply a matter of following the one plus one model. Tequila got his first cold approach lay about a week after we redid his touching ladder. Even more incredibly he was able to escape from the friend zone with a sexy bartender he had known for 3 years. 3 weeks later he converted another friend. At last count Tequila has slept with 5 women he was formerly friends with and is still seeing 3 of them. The women all know it, and joke that he is suddenly the “player” of their group of friends.

These re-vamps in touching are going to be a major part of the next wave of cirriculum we teach at SOA, so be on the lookout for info on how you can learn these techniques shortly

Next time we’ll be talking about a guy whose fairly well known in the community and actually teaches for another company. Stay tuned to read all about what I learned while training Future.



  1. Hi! I have similar problem... could you post the new escalation ladder or is it for private coaching only?

  2. This story is actually kind of inspiring. I like these!

  3. Anonymous3:42 PM

    I think it'd also be interesting to learn what, if anything, this student's progress could say about escaping the friend zone.

  4. Greg0078:02 PM

    Unless you have to buy it (I still haven't seen anything, other than something Lance Mason did, seen
    on You Tube, which isn't that great), it's surprising what little there is in kino instruction on video (as it's way easier understanding, than just reading about it in writing only) for both day game (if it's even ever appropriate for that, as it probably wouldn't be in the day) and night game, can you please do a video on mastering kino for both day and night situations, as I'd definitely buy it.

    One that'd just show Sinn standing in a room with a female would be ok, but it'd be way better if it contained hidden HD camera footage of Sinn and a wingman colleague, out in the field successfully using kino.

  5. Anonymous6:23 PM

    I saw a video of Speer using kino at night - via him giving women high fives and taking a lady's hand and twirling her around, but it came across as far too cheesy. A video product from Sinn showing him in the field, demonstrating more cooler, more natural and subtler ways to utilise touching at night and day, would be extremely useful.