Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Secrets Of The Naturals- Positive Expectations.

Hey guys,

I’m starting a new running feature along with You Might be a douchebag if, and Common Female Thoughts.

This one is going to be Secrets Of The Naturals. I’ve spent a lot of time hanging out with naturals and cataloging the differences in their mindsets, skillsets and lifestyles, and I’ll be sharing them with you guys every once in awhile.

This week we’re going to be talking about Positive Expectations.

I was talking to one of my students from my long term coaching program over the weekend.

He was having problems with ego management issues and getting into state. He said the major problem as that he was always worried about pleasing the people he was talking to.

He gave an example of saying something to a woman that could have an implied sexual meaning. And worrying about every negative thing that could happen. She could get offended, she could get creeped out, she could say she has a boyfriend, etc…

This is very typical of guys who end up in the SUISC. The biggest reason for this is that guys who are into game place too much importance on interactions with women. They are attached to the outcome. This leads them to becoming self conscious, stilted and in their heads.

Naturals on the other hand, don’t put too much importance on any interaction with any particular woman. Because their detached they are not trying to mind read and predict what the girl is going to do. This allows them to be in the moment and expect things to go positively.

When I am speaking to a woman, all I’m thinking about is how things can go well. When I say something that could be taken sexually, I’m assuming it will turn her on. When I touch a woman I assume she’s going to like it. When I ask for a girl’s number, I expect to get it.

I had to learn to detach myself from the outcome and expect the best, naturals do it by habit.



  1. Anonymous7:50 AM

    Sweet ideas presented

  2. Anonymous8:27 AM

    Yeah I've been thinking about natural game this week...

    These are three steps I think some naturals use:


    Assume a positive outcome, assume she loves you, assume she's attracted to you, assume she wants to fuck you....

    Then act on it, pretend it. Of course she isn't really attracted to you beyond your looks, she doesn't want to consciously fuck you on first sight. But yeah pretend and act on it.

    Then most importantly you must absolutely believe it and she will also begin to believe it.

    Believe what you are pretending to assume with her.

  3. Anonymous8:31 AM

    One of the best ways to not focus on the outcome is to just be going out to have fun and amuse yourself. Sure you have to "get your sets in" but really you should just be having a good time.

  4. Anonymous9:55 AM

    What are you doing posting a blog at 6am J?

  5. Anonymous10:42 AM

    As Craig from DYD says "Its always on"...I try to use this as my moto no matter how good or bad the scenario. It is a bit dillusional but you have to reframe your mind to think of what CAN occur. Life is a strange thing and even though there are probabilities - they are just probabilities not hard core facts Assuming attraction is something that took (and is still hard) a long time to become part of my psyche but you never know what can happen.

    What the mind of a nature thinks is that instead of the glass being half empty - its half full. Yes the outcome maybe 50/50 from either viewpoint, but if you work on the 50% that could work you are already ahead of the game. Its not a matter of confidence - its a matter of state and being. We cant read minds and women are emotionally driven creatures so logic is needs to be put on the back burner...

  6. This is a really important point.

    When I was getting into all of this stuff, I used to read about this concept and think to myself how cool it would be to be able to get myself into that mindset.

    It took A LOT of work to get there, but was 150 million percent worth it, to the point where now I just look at 'hot girls' and laugh at how stupid the majority of them are.

    The one of the best things that I can think to say if you are really committed to achieving this mindset and it came from Neil's book is to start working on all of the aspects of your life. Create a life for yourself that you can be totally content and fulfilled from, just for you. With the idea of getting to a point where you are so happy with how you are spending your time, you truly won't care if the chick isn't into you because there are 5-6 other things you can do instead anyway.

  7. I think this also relates to how the better you get at something, the luckier you get at it as well.

    How does that happen?

    Well, the better you are the more you put yourself in chances to get lucky, when many others would just take alternatives that dont have the same potential.

    Maybe they take those alternatives b/c of pride, ego, self-esteem issues, whatever. Doesnt matter. Short terms boosts for those things arent nearly as effective for maximizing happiness than what some might see as repeatidly "getting lucky".

    Theres a reason that some people seem to have all the luck

  8. Anonymous3:49 AM

    Seen "SUISC" a few times on the blog, what does it stand for?

  9. also, the positive experiences/reward that naturals have lived create a cycle of positive reinforcement/expectation. I had never really thought of my detachment from women as an element of game. interesting.

  10. Hey Sinn, I'm a SIC member and my natural friend, Dustin, gave me some really good advice I wanted to pass along.

    He just tells girls what they WANT to hear... so that they feel "special" or get pumped with lots of emotion. He says its all about telling them what they want to hear so that you can just lead them.


    It's a pretty simple philosophy but it goes super in depth. I had to pick his brain for about an hour, and we were talking about this for a good hour.