Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Girls are not always fucking with you...

I've started noticing a trend especially on the Dallas board lately of guys trying WAY too hard to be indifferent and hard to get. This stems from the constantly cultivated ideas of low self esteem preached about by certain guys in the community. These guys would have you believe that EVERY girl has a bitch shield and wants to tell you to fuck off so that she can go back to be courting by celebrities and rich guys plying her with their money. This just isn't reality.

A few years ago I made the decision that I wasn't going to rate girls anymore. The reason being that IMO the reason to rate girls was to try to figure out how they're going to behave. Well, girls who are hot can be nice pretty frequently as well as open to meeting someone cool. Key word being someone cool. You can't be cool if you constantly are thinking about how " You're a 5 and she's a 10" or if you think you have to constantly tease a girl even when she's sucking your dick...

The other thing that guys don't seem to get is the power of the female sex drive... Go out and look at the girls who are out. Really watch them. They are almost always looking around. Esp the hot ones. Because they want to get laid. They want guys who approach them and be fun and cool, and sexy. It just doesn't happen so they have to forgo their emotions and focus on the logic of what they are getting from most of these other guys. In fact the female sex drive is well documented but most guys in the community would rather read " The Selfish Gene" or " Red Queen". One of the major points of community classics like " My Secret Garden" or " Sperm Wars" is that women chase sex as much as men do. They are not trying to deflect sex, they are trying to get it.

One of the other things to take into consideration when dealing with women is their level of self esteem. Some girls even though they are hot they don't like themselves. This is especially common among girls who work in bars and clubs and don't really do a whole lot else as they realize that they are only liked because of their looks. This leads them to take into account the horrifying realization that they are not going to be pretty forever. Imagine being treated better than everyone else for 32-35 years of your life and then being treated just like your mother was when you were growing up pretty and didn't understand why she couldn't be cool. Girls know that their time will end and they recognize that if they are ONLY appreciated for their looks ( as many girls are) then they have this ticking time bomb in their mind. They know there isn't really anything else and that eventually they'll be alone... So they have some self esteem issues.

I feel like I'm ranting now so I want to end by making the point that what we are doing is not the entire game. All of our tactics, techniques, inner revelations, etc are half the social interaction. The other half is her. How she feels about herself, how she feels about you, how she feels about sex, etc... It is possible that girls are not playing games and that they actually like you and want to go to bed with you. It happens and when it does too much game is not the answer. Game is all about making the road from meet to sex, as fun and easy as possible. Sometimes girls are ready and throwing themselves out you. You just have to have the social intelligence to see it. And the first part of that is realizing that despite what you've read on the internet, hot girls are not better than you. They're just people. A guy once wrote a post called " Be nice to girls" I think I'll end this post with a similar idea which is be nice to girls when they're being nice with you...

S

12 comments:

  1. Great post man, I would like to see more posts about stuff like this.

    Also, to give a firsthand example, this girl who most would say is a solid 7 recently told me that she doesn't like the way she looks at all, doesn't think shes pretty, and that her confidence comes from the way she acts not her looks.

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  2. SirSlick5:04 PM

    To have an idea how bad some girls want to have sex, read some of their blogs. One of my favorites is http://bosteen.wordpress.com/. Check out her blogroll too and you'll know how bad women want to have sex! Like we do! :)

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  3. Thank you for posting about not ranking girls! I had to discover this on my own.

    The reason guys rank girls just so they have something to brag about with their community "wings." They try to hard to impress other guys (who don't get laid) instead of just mingling with chicks, then they will discover how sex (with girls) isn't such a big deal.

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  4. I was talking to a very attractive girl last night who kept disqualifying herself. She would say how she wasn't pretty, how she was too tall and guys dont like her and all this other bullshit. I tried to compliment but she wasn't having it. Do you just slap them in the face and tell them to get with it?

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  5. Definitely some useful info. It seems like many people in the scene seem to create these illusions of the "constantly bitchy hater" as a way to justify their own mysogyny and vent their pre-community frustrations.

    - Ron Walker

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  6. Man, I am so glad you wrote this. I know a girl who is into me, I actually emailed you about this, and she has no self confidence... I am still attracted to her though because the energy we create when we are together is amazing and we both enjoy each other a lot. What do you do about girls who basically don't respect themselves? I mean would you date a girl who didn't respect herself?

    I guess, it is our job as men to show them that they women in fact do have this in themselves? But, is it worth the effort?

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  7. I agree with the whole ranking system with women to be a bunch of BS. You'll either sleep with her or you won't. It's pretty binary.

    Another thing is I used to photograph models for their portfolios and it's amazing how beauty can be deceptive. You can take an average looking girl and make her into a super model with the right make up artist and hair stylist. This is the reason why I don't care for the ranking system.

    Besides beauty is in the eye of the beholder... a girl that many guys consider super hot can look pretty average in another guys eyes. I find this to be the case with pick up artists that tote the ranking system around. When I see pics of their girls. I'm like..well they don't look any different from other girls in the club.

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  8. I don't care for the 1-10 ranking system myself. You either want to sleep with the girl or you don't.

    I used to photograph models to help them build their portfolios. It's amazing how beauty can be deceptive. You can take an average looking girl and make her look like a super model with the right make up artist and hair stylist.

    Besides beauty is in the eye's of the beholder. What one may consider a 10 maybe a 5 in some one else's. I see this all the time when I hear guys brag about tens, than you see the girl and she doesn't seem to look any different from the other girls in the club.

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  9. Marco_Polo2:18 AM

    Brilliant, brilliant post. Thank you so much!

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  10. Word, this is one of the things I became guilty of when I first got into the 'community', it also kind of correlates with what you said a while back in your compliance momentum post about negging out of sheer dogmatism when talking to a nice girl.

    With a lot of girls, you simply don't have to do any of this playing hard to get shit, I think a lot of the time, in regular day to day situations this kind of stuff will get you WORSE results, and make you come of as anything ranging from a try-hard to just plain socially retarded.

    I've also never been one for really ranking girls anyway, I actually like to talk to them and get to know them, and if I like them proceed to pull them, rather than just standing around 'judging'

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  11. Good post and I think a lot of what this type of stuff comes down to is guys in the community over analyzing these situations. I think a lot of us are making this thing harder than it needs to be.

    Awhile back you wrote a post about the focusing on the fundamentals. To me this is THE key concept at getting good. Forget all this advanced crap and running patterns, etc. If 95% of the guys just kept improving the fundamental stuff like body language, voice and vocal projection, simple approaches, etc they'd be all set.

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  12. deccan7:32 PM

    i like what you said about the self esteem issues of hot girls. you made something click, i didn't realize how much it would suck to be solely valued for something as superficial as good looks. this makes sense why its detrimental to compliment a womans good looks as opposed to something deeper, like a good personality trait. thanks Sinn. dude, i love the ramblings; keep it up.

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