Monday, March 23, 2009

Self-Value, Inner Game and Expectations...

So I was smoking a cigarette on the corner with some crackhead today(Which was stupid because I just got over walking pneumonia) and... Actually I should explain that part first.

I really enjoy the social aspect of smoking and will have a conversation (Not about Pickup with dudes who recognize me and offer me cigarettes BTW) with almost anyone about almost anything. So today when I went to go get a delicious french sandwich, I wanted a cigarette. I had one in my car but didn't have a lighter. Enter said crackhead. And we were outside a rehab center, and he told me he was there for crack so no assumptions on my part :)

But I digress...

A hottie walked by

The crackhead couldn't even really look at her...

About 3 minutes later a GROSS druggy looking chick walked by and the Crackhead started o chat her up. It was basically a pick-up.

As I finished my cigarette and walked away, I couldn't help but start to think about what that said about the idea of self perceived value....

The same guy who didn't feel comfortable looking at a really beautiful women felt comfortable and compatible with the other crackhead...

This relates back to the idea that some girls are going to just like YOU for being YOU...

I know it's hard to believe... some of them are even VERY attractive.

Now I don't want to suggest that the crackhead would have connected with the really hot girl, but the point is that in his mind he can;t even look that girl in the eye.

I see this in a ton of students. They can't EVEN imagine a super hottie liking them... I had some of the 12M2M guys watch go-go dancers in the club and try to imagine having sex with them... They couldn't do it. It was literally " outside their reality."

Everyone of us has a self image(read Psycho-Cybernetics for an indepth explanation and exercises on working on your own self image). In that self image we have an idea of what kind of girls should like us, what kind of success with women we should have, and even what other people's reactions to us are going to be.

This self image is based on nothing other than our own opinions of ourselves ( Which as Psycho-Cybernetics tells us is often an underestimation)

All of this shows the importance of first believing that success is possible for you. Not for me, not for Mystery, not for any of us. You have to believe at a core level that you can attract and date attractive women.

Otherwise you're no better than a crackhead :)



  1. Anonymous6:43 PM

    Then I guess I am no better than a crackhead....I am not a very handsome guy, not particularly tall, no wealthy but I do have a good sense of humor and a good heart. But the attractive women I have known never seem to gravitate to those elements - they always seemed to be like the women of sex in the city. Always dating hot guys, model types, wealthy guys. So when you see this time and time again and you personally never have a chance to successfully date hot women even after trying and even studying pickup, you really begin to wonder that its just not meant for you.

  2. Anonymous7:53 PM

    I second that. I sometimes do see some dudes that are not so attractive in the cultural sense, but on the majority hot women will not date an average guy unless there is something to be gained. These women are not fools (well most of the time). They plot and do what they can to land a guy that has either looks or better yet money. A hot women today as the world at her fingertips. They look at men as being disposable. If one guy does not workout, then its on to the next and so and so on. Try picking up a hot woman in a night club, its almost impossible unless you are some kind of high status, very good looking or overly suave guy. Its just life.

  3. This is true. And a funny thing is that once you yourself achieve excellence in how you present and carry yourself, a lot of normal girls will not be able to look you in the eye off the bat (or otherwise theyll be nervous around you).

    As always, girls are just like guys on the inside.

  4. I was always afraid that because I am short, because I am balding and because I'm a little fat, that girls wouldn't like me. I easily connected with fat girls and ugly girls because it was easy and not at all intimidating. I wasn't afraid of the hot ones...I just didn't see girls as liking me. Then one day a girl...a fat one none the less but very cute and with huge boobs said she liked me for being a little chubby...after that I never blamed my weight because it got me laid.
    I accepted my height as being related to genetics and not actually doing any sports by choice, and then since balding was genetic and inevitable, I decided to shave it all off.

    Loving yourself will make others love you back. Girls have the same lack of confidence.

    I am currently listening to the Psycho Cybernetics audiobook and just finished the chapter on imagination. It's incredible how the man details some of the changes that myself have made (small ones but still) and it also made me realize that some of my older assumptions related to change through the use of imagination, simulation and repetitions- are indeed correct .... i'm just too much of a procrastinating little bitch that is somewhat afraid if change and loss of comfort to actually do it.

  5. You were hanging out with a crackhead by a rehab center?


    Otherwise, read up on Gunwitch Method for this shit, its a fucking amazing paradigm about how like-minded people are attracted to each other, if you like her, she probably likes you.

    Likewise, what Sinn thinks is a hottie walking by, 5 other guys standing there might think "Oh gross, a short redhed, I hate redheds"

    See? Talk to the girls that grab your eye, they want you to ;)

  6. Anonymous7:42 AM

    This is awesome, I completly agree and have noticed similar attitudes in others and even in myself at times.


  7. I think this touches on something both you and Captain Jack have written about self limiting beliefs. I think we all find ourselves in that situation either once and awhile or often. It's like no matter what you look like or who you are as a human being, we all believe that we are worthy of a certain kind of woman. Sometimes ignorance is bliss (meaning we turn off all that internal chatter and just believe we deserve everything).

  8. This sounds like you're using just a sample size of one, which would make your results bullshit in any real scientific experiment.

    However, from my keyboard, I trust your judgment on these matters, and don't really doubt at all that your post was delivering value.

    Great reading as always.


  9. You guys are all 100% correct in stating that women respond to and tend to date guys that are of high value. But I think you are limiting your scope of "value" to just money and looks. These things ARE of value to many hot women...but they are not the ONLY things that women turbo-hotties value.

    I am not a particularly attractive guy and am not fabulously wealthy...has this stopped me from getting super-attractive women?


    Why? Because I feel like I offer a type of value that most guys can't. I give them emotional value in the form of being a super-fun, sexually liberating guy who knows how to give women that same freedom.

    My sense of "deservingness" translates into me being able to be with those same sexy women you think only respond to looks or money.

  10. Anonymous2:10 PM

    When you think that some girls arent good enough for you, just remember they are all the same on the inside, pink :)