Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Lifestyle Part 3: The People You Know

Hey guys,

It's a beautiful day in my(new) neighborhood. So go ahead, get comfortable and I'll talk to you guys about the MOST important resource when it comes to building a lifestyle.

The People You Know.

No matter what kind of lifestyle you want to live, you are going to need to surround yourself with like minded people.

If you want to establish a club social circle, that means getting to know promoters, doormen, bouncers, bartenders, etc...

If you want to meet women through your yoga class, it means meeting and befriending the most social people in the class.

If you're still in college or high school, it means making friends with "The popular kids."

No matter what goals you've mapped out for yourself lifestyle wise, you need to meet the right people to make it happen.

So how does one go about doing that?

It's actually not as difficult as you think.

1. Identify who you want to meet. This part should be common sense enough that I don't have to write it, but I'll do it anyway. Figure out who you need to meet first. I personally keep a list of people I want to meet, ranging from the manager at my local strip club to Bill Simmons.

2. Offer Value FIRST! This is something I learned directly from Scotty of OTM.com. It's also the major mistake guys make when they're trying to "network". Most guys teaching social circle game focus on what the other people can do for you. This is a nice way of thinking short term, but often doesn't lead to long term friendships or great "hookups". One of the things Scotty ALWAYS does is see if he can help the people he needs help from first. This can be as simple as bringing female friends with you to the club and introducing them to the promoter. It can mean offering to help someone with something you have more knowledge about, or sharing a connection you have to help them. The point is much like a cold approach, you ALWAYS want to give value first.

3. Maintain contact in a NON needy way. Another mistake I've seen in some unnamed social circle programs being taught out there, is the idea of maintaining contact. You don't want to always be the guy asking to get "hooked up" or only phone, or text when you want something. Make sure that you keep in contact with all the people in your phone on a regular basis. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, a simple text a few times a week often is more than enough. Also if someone has just done you a favor, be sure to text a thank you. People appreciate these small gratitudes.

4. Invite Everyone Everywhere. This means that you make it a point to go out of your way to invite people places. This is huge in building a social circle. So many people want others to lead and plan things out, so they can just show up. Be the exception to this rule, by always having something to invite people to. A promoter friend of mine in Dallas will often send out invites to private dinners and lunches, just to keep in touch. It doesn't matter if 1 person shows up or 20. If you keep planning things and networking, people will show.

5. Have female friends. This is a huge one. I know that a lot of guys reading this haven't gotten laid in a REALLY long time, and the idea of hanging out with an attractive woman and not making a move, sounds worse than tortue. Do it anyway. Girls make EVERY situation more fun and more enticing for everyone. By having girls around, other girls will be more likely to come by, cool guys will want to hang out etc... Everyone should make3-5 ATTRACTIVE female friends.

That wraps up today's post, be sure to be back soon for the conclusion.



  1. Anonymous7:01 AM

    Great post, as usual. Another great way to add value and build social circle is to throw a party of your own. This can be a birthday party for you or a friend. I throw a huge club party every year for my best friends birthday. Its for his birthday, but I meet like 50 new people every year we do the party.

  2. Anonymous8:52 AM

    That's true I go to a university and my roommate and I throw a party every other week (or try to) and I always meet 5-10 new people. We started our parties off slow like only 4-6 showing up, now we have about 25 regulars and 20-40 stop by. Host them parties! This also does wonders for your confidence, just make sure your the life of the party if your hosting.

  3. Anonymous11:02 AM

    I feel like I've been missing this long time.


  4. Anonymous1:31 PM

    Another classic post. This is why you are one of my fav blogs...

  5. James5:12 PM

    Cheers Sinn, this is really useful advise that not many pua's cover.