Thursday, November 06, 2008

Do you want to get the girl or be right?

Hey guys,

This is actually a topic that came up on the mastermind board for 12 months to mastery.

We had a student talk about how he was having issues with negativity, I recommended TD's recent post on integrating positivity( You can read it Here)

Anyway, he posted a reply ripping the post for being incoherent and grammatically incorrect. Meanwhile he missed out on a ton of positive ideas from the post. Ironically he knows he has a problem with negativity yet responds to a suggestion designed to help him with pure negativity.

Here's the thing, he's right there are some grammatical errors(not that I can talk) and it is a bit long. But there's a ton of value in the post. SO what this student has to do is decide whether or not he wants to get better with women( by internalizing positivity) or if he wants to be correct and have his reality be validated.

This is a MAJOR sticking point I see students have all the time. Sometimes it manifests itself as a guy saying " the girls I like won't go for this stuff." Other times it happens when a guy really believes girls don't have SNLs, or they think you have to be rich or good looking to get girls. This is a really insidious sticking point because it will affect ALL of your behavior. Beliefs are THE driving force behind actions and results. So if you really believe that you are right, you will find evidence to support it and that belief will only strengthen. This is one of the reasons that it's soo important to keep a student frame and be willing to admit that EVERYTHING YOU KNOW MAY BE WRONG. There's no shame in that, in fact it's empowering because it means you can learn new and more effective ways of living your life, in all areas.

So how does one deal with this sticking point? You have to become aware of it by constantly asking yourself if what you're doing is leading you closer to who you ultimately want to be or further away from it. Regardless of whether or not you're right. What's going to happen if you continue to have this belief that you are right, how is your life going to look?

Or on the other hand you may decide that you'd rather be right than get the results you want. In which case good luck to ya...

S

10 comments:

  1. Hey, I think your Atom feed is broken. I haven't been getting your blog on my reader for a while, so I browsed over and tried to resubscribe and got an error message "Invalid content type: www.sinnsofattraction.com"

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  2. Anonymous1:45 PM

    I think people just need to believe in themselves and have faith that everything they do will be OK. You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and it is one of the hardest things to do and learn to do... but it takes time, and I have been doing it and it has already been giving me results.

    And all this is the part of becoming an alpha male, being unapologetic and not being a fucking wuss.

    MAN THE FUCK UP, grow some balls, get out, talk to girls, flirt and have FUN.

    You were right in that under 21 convention video, if you go out and don't even have fun, don't even go out. You need to learn to be content with yourself and love yourself (corny) before you can really truly attract a girl, otherwise they will smell it out very quickly.

    Very $ Sinn, as usual.

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  3. COMMUNITY IS A JOKE9:25 PM

    why hate on Wygant?

    at least he's showing guys over 40 theres some hope. { even though hes trying to look 30's cool}

    guys Like TD are a total Joke. they
    have NO game of value.

    ANYONE in their 20's who gets their
    foot out of their mouth, can get layed. they fit the girls blueprint.

    YOUR CHALLENGE SINN: dress up like
    your 45, grey hair, pot belly,
    uncool, unhip { get a makeup
    stylist to age you}

    DEVELOP a REAL GAME that REAL men can use.

    do that and you'll be number one

    and blow out the 20/ 30 johnny dep
    Mystery clones.

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  4. Anonymous3:44 AM

    WTF are you talking about? TD transformed livs of many 40+ yead olds this is just plain trash talk it has no relevance and only fuels negativity so this whole "this guru is a joke" is just insecure posters needing their daily dose of gossip.
    PS: TD is nowere near as a copy of mystery.

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  5. Funny that you talk about 45 year olds in the game, my dad is a 56 year old natural. When he enters a room girls of all ages just light up, its so unreal how he guets the snobbiest chiks to light up and give him the trance look, he dosen't know about the community. He's been a politician and grew up as being leader since high school he internalised all the "Alpha" behaviors and women can sense that.
    So. If your looking for REAL GAME (magic pill) that you can "use" its not gonna happen.
    Btw i don't think its not cool to hate any guy who dedicated his time to offer value be it Wygant or TD or mystery etc..
    peace.

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  6. Anonymous1:12 PM

    Thanks for your email about opening direct. Very useful!

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  7. "This is a really insidious sticking point because it will affect ALL of your behavior. Beliefs are THE driving force behind actions and results."

    This is really insightful, Sinn. Nowadays I see people as walking belief systems. The vibe they project is created by their overall beliefs.

    Once people get past a certain threshold, they start instantly positive reframing everything in their life (at least that's what happened to me). Plans cancelled used to be frustrating to me, now my mind goes instantly to "ooh, plans cancelled, I wonder what amazing replacement the mischievous Universe has in store for me." And it works -- out of the blue, I'll get a call from some other guy I'd been wanting to see and he's offering to take me out, stuff like that.

    I've done a lot of blogging and posting on forums about how spiritual tools can help guys get to a more positive place where this insta-reframing happens fluidly and instinctively.

    Anyway, another great post.

    - Erika (www.awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com)

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  8. P.S. Tyler's recent blog rocks.

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  9. Anonymous9:24 AM

    Sinn who are you to talk about being "positive" honestly? Almost every blog about the pickup artist show couldn't have a more negative tone. You rip on matador for his clothing style, personality, and tacky aspects of the show. While i agree with you on being positive, it's just that it sounds like even you yourself have not internalized this notion of positivity.

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  10. @Anonymous -

    So here is a perfect example of what Sinn is talking about. You see Sinn as ripping on people, and I see it as humor. Hilarious humor, at that. It all feels very good natured to me.

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