Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Contest! Create A Caption!

So I was forwarded this picture of Matador and Cajun as well as a few funny captions for it.

Such as:

“Bro. That girl just AI’ed me. THAT one. I’m so Alpha!”

“There’s Erik. I’m his ball-washer not you, and don’t you forget it”

“Try to keep your eyes open, I’m displaying my alphaness by pointing”

“You...yes YOU. Can you believe this half-asleep freak has better game than me? Ouch”

I'll add a few of my own...

" Which way is the beach? It's THAT way"

" Whoever points first is MOST alpha"

" So you're sure the gay club is THAT way..."

" Which way did the bum offering blowjobs for crack go? That way?"

Anyhoo, I'm offering a free copy of The Lay Report Book to anyone who comes up with a funnier caption than these.

Submit them in the comments.



  1. Go get those scissors little man, these sleeves are coming off NOW.

  2. Bitches love my new wig, and if they don't, fuckin' skanks.

    (Taken from the "My New Haircut" video on Youtube.)

  3. - That's where my dick starts at

    - Pointing at a douche bag
    'you know where I from'?

    - Close your eyes & Imagine a
    Strawberry field out there..

    - Doing a sneaky nlp thing.. pointing away.. 'those men don't know how to treat you right'

  4. sup3rdave11:25 AM

    "That's not peacocking.... check out my extensions!"


    "You see those people having fun over there? That's what I want you to look like when you listen to my stories."

  5. "BRO look it's peter pan. Let's go sarge him."


    Umm let's see,

    MEHOW said In PURE KINO,

    that you should be getting wood for me now.

  7. Anonymous11:32 AM

    "I got fucking HAND IMPLANTS. Now 200% more pointing!"

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Bro. Check out that girl's hair...that's how I want my next wig to look like. It oozes alphaness.

  10. Anonymous11:56 AM

    SEE THIS GUY HERE??? I'm gonna RAPE him tonight... and YOUR NEXT!

    Thats what I imagined Matador saying...

  11. mars mission 212:23 PM


    AMOG wannabee!

    Just Like I used to tell sorebottom Erik.

    You mess with the BULL you

    get the horn.

  12. "thats the corner i wanted to show you"

    "thats where we buy our wigs"

    "thats the guy who isn't wearing sleeves look at his arms"

  13. "You see THAT one. I'm going to go over there and do my super famous lift routine. Open your eyes man. Watch. I'm super alpha"

    "You see HER over there. I'm going to go over there with my club, caveman style."

    "I am going to over to HER and tell her I like pickles."

  14. "there is no way HE's bigger than me."

  15. Kasekc@gmail.com12:38 PM

    Matador Before and After.
    We have digitally altered this photo to show matador from 5 years ago(right) being held tightly by a current image of him(left). Look at how much he has changed. Phenomenal...

  16. The more Matador extends his arm... the less it looks like he is wearing sleeves

  17. Anonymous12:42 PM

    Tell me how much those chicks want me!... uhhhh yeah! That's how daddy likes it... now tell me again!

  18. "Make her tell me I'm the hottest guy here so I can keep my erection."

  19. Matador: "Savoy, if i can't beat you at pick up I'll steal your instructors!"

  20. Matador: "Bro, SHE actually said SHE was spontaneous!"
    Cajun: "...That's Tara, man."

  21. "That's the MotherF**ker that said I wear a wig!"

  22. “That’s the guy who told me my hair don’t look good! You better whoop his ass before my sleeves come off!”

    “Look at Simion AMOG those chicks to attract them dudes, I told him how to do that! Now all he needs is a wig..”

    “Check out Simion bro, he’s a rockstar! He’s using all the material I gave him to AMOG those chicks and make all the guys in the club want him! If only they knew what we plan to do with them..”

    “That guy stole my set! Go get Erik and the rest of the boys so we can fuck him up!”

    “Check out this new finger pointing routine dude, Sinn ain’t got shit on me.”

    “Look! That’s Sinn! He’s the guy that’s talking all that shit about me, you want to AMOG him?”

  23. Matador: "Come close man, you know what that is out there? It's immortality! TAKE IT! IT'S YOURS!!"

    Cajun: "Isn't that from a movie?"

    Matador: "Bullshit...everybody says they're confident..."

  24. "You see that girl over there? Erik told me she's into gay Indian cowboys!"

  25. Matador faking a cuban accent- "Hey YOU! Say hello to my little friend"

  26. 1)"Fuck Keys to the VIP....You look into that Camera and tell them that I am the REAL TV Star."

    2) Matador's rehaearsing for his next TV Role: WWE Superstar "Maximus Alpha"

    3) Cajun: "Ouch Stan, that Cavemanning shit doesn't work on dudes"

    4)"If you call me "Roid Rage" one more time I will pop Cajun's head off"

  27. "I heard you and Sinn talking shit about me. We are going over to THAT bathroom. You want jelly or syrup?"

  28. Stolen footage from the Pick Up Artist 3: Out of the Closet and onto the Dancefloor. Only on Bravo!

  29. Anonymous2:27 PM

    I will BUY you that car if you can explain to me how you did better in 10 minute appearance on Keys to the VIP than I did on two seasons of a major cable TV show.

  30. justintime_887@hotmail.com2:32 PM

    "Real PUAs do the opposite of EVERYTHING their mother taught them. Like not pointing at strangers"

    "Go up to Erik and retrieve my nutsack or I'll use your skinny ass as a toothpick!"

    "How many lays? Well, I've fucked him, and him..."

  31. "Cajun...that's a funny name. That reminds me, have you ever heard of the Cajun Pepper Stick? No?!? Dude, hand me that dip."

  32. 1) Matador: "See that, I taught HIM that..."
    Cajun: " Here we go again..."

    2) Matador: "YOU! Look at me, I'm teaching this lil' fella how to be THE MAN!"

    3) Matador to Cajun "See the guy with the broken leg over there... if u mention my wig one more time..."
    Cajun: "Wig! :)"
    ...This was the last picture taken of Cajun, if anybody has any info leading to his recovery please dial...

    Faking cuban accent again:

    4) Matador "First you get the money, then you get the power, then u get the bitches"
    Cajun: "Again with the accent?"

    5) Matador: "What? Competition? Fuck 'em all! I bury those cockroaches!"

    6) Matador: "In this country, first you get the money, then you get the power, then... u get an uber cool wig and pretend ur the shit... that's the Trump way of doing things"

  33. "Vote NO on prop 8! Yes we can!"

  34. Matador: "Hey you, look! I'm a protector of loved one"
    Cajun: "Loved ones? Fuck me..."

    Matador: "HEY! YOU! Come back! Look! I love little kids!"
    Cajun: "Little kids? Fuck you!"

  35. Christian3:45 PM

    M: 'Let me point something out to you. I can bang as many drunk sluts as I want. Why you ask? My low standards in combination with my lack of sleeves. You feel me? No, I guess you wouldn't. Not with my skinny cock.'

    ::Cajun shuts his eyes::

  36. "Uhhhh, you're making me look so ALPHA right now!! Caje man you have to try this"

  37. Mike R4:29 PM

    Matador(to camera guy[probably Kosmo]): "Get the fuck out of here! This is MY target. I'll break your neck!"

    Matador: "Dude. Dude Cajun dude! I think that's my father!! I'm gonna hide in the leaves. Hurry man, go bring the car around!"

    Matador: *backturns Mystery* "Cajun, make big hands motions like me. Caju... Cajun! Listen, the only way Mystery is gonna fall for this jealousy-plotline is if you at least TRY to look like you're having fun!"

    Matador: "Only YOU can prevent Gay Indian Cowboy erectile dysfunction."

    Matador: "...see that right there buddy... THAT'S the reason I cut my sleeves, wear a wig, and ask questions about pickles. I'm going in. Real quick, tell me I'm alpha."

  38. Anonymous4:35 PM

    I ... can't ... resist ... temptationn ... to ... show ...her ... my ALPHANESS ... so I'll break your neck!!!

  39. SuperBad4:42 PM

    Hey look, there's Savoy! Can you ask him if I'm allowed back into Love Systems yet?

  40. The Ultimate AFC4:46 PM

    Cajun - "Release me from your powerful grip!"

  41. The Real Life Hitch5:01 PM

    Cajun: "Do I look like a drug dealer?"

    Matador: "HA-HA (in the most alphaest manly laugh u've ever heard)I like you little man, you remind me of my cock, are you adventurous? then you shall be my new sidekick, To The ALPHAMOBILE!!!"

  42. Anonymous5:30 PM

    THERE'S my target. Occupy the girl while I game him.

  43. Slater from Saved By The Bell WANTS YOU

  44. "If you don't help me pick up a hot guy tonight, I'm going to beat the everliving shit out of that girl in the size zero dress."

  45. Anonymous6:38 PM

    Bro, the restrooms are over there where I'm gonna close you man-boy prison style!!


  46. Anonymous7:13 PM

    "Hey come over here. I want to show you something."

  47. You see how my finger curves to the right like that? Yeah... that's how the girls like it.

    That is either Cajun's hand or the other guy's cock.

    Hi, my name is Matador. I'm so into the community, I'm IN some of the community...

    Cajun: I'm tired and having a bad night girls don't think I look like a drug dealer anymore...
    Matador: Fuck this, Obama won! YES WE CAN.

    In conclusion, I am ALPHA and you are not.

  48. Agent_Bauer7:32 PM

    See that guy?! He has hair! I've always wanted real hair!

  49. Agent_Bauer7:33 PM

    See that guy?! He has hair! I've always wanted real hair!

  50. Dude, I'm so alpha my finger pulls itself. I just negged the whole club at once!

  51. Matador mistakes Cajun for Andy Dick and wants to do coke off his chest.

  52. Anonymous8:51 PM

    Matador: "You are my next target!"

    *Girl runs away to leap into the bed of Sinn.*

  53. Mystery: If by my life or death I can wing you, I will. You have my fuzzy hat...
    Cajun: ...and you have my boa...
    Matador: ...and my sleeves!

  54. Anonymous9:42 PM

    I think that girl stole my dress.

  55. Hey wait is that guy wearing my red mesh shirt.

    - Pickup Artist 2 Episode 2

  56. Yeah, over there! I'm telling you I left my dignity right over there...

  57. Matador: see how Erik does it?
    Cajun: I can't see anything, your sleeve is in the way


  58. Hey! Hands off the Members Only jacket

  59. "There's no better way to AMOG a guy than by giving him a rectal exam. Allow me to demonstrate, oh, and you better close your eyes because this finger's gonna HURT! ALPHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  60. “GO occupy that girl so I can steal that guy from her!”

    “You notice how my finger isn’t as brown like my face? That’s because it hasn’t been up your ass yet!”

    “I want YOU to dirty sanchez that dude while I’m standing here playing with my wig!”

    “Wow I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to make you smell your own shit, here let me hold my finger as far away from your nose as possible.”

    Cajun: Wow I’m wasted man!
    Matador: “Good, you see that bathroom over there? Go over there and wait for me.”

    You see that barman over there? Do you think I can get him to give me a body shot?

    Damn! Look at that dude bro! He’s huge and his hair wow just amazing.. Can you introduce me to him?

    Matador: “You see THAT tranny over there? I pulled her/him the other day.
    Cajun: “Cool, I guess…”
    Matador: “Yeah soon as we got back to my Alpha crib, wigs came flying off! She/he didn’t even have to tell me how into me everyone in the club was, I stayed hard regardless!”
    Cajun: “Wow dude, you’re fucked up!”
    Matador: “I’ll punch you man, I’ll punch you!”

  61. Matt, NY4:27 AM

    - Cajun: "I like this song too, James, but do you have to rub your dick on me so hard?"

    - Matador was pointing in two directions.

  62. Hell, YA! Theres where the sleeves are cool

  63. if i wasn't gay... you'd be SO mine..! ;d

    kc cajun "deliciuss"

  64. Anonymous6:44 AM

    "hey, there's my student Sinn...
    let him watch while u feel my abs"

  65. Anonymous7:10 AM

    Oh snap it's HB-Bull

  66. Erik, come look at this bitch I just number closed!! Maybe SHE can take Tara's spot next year.

  67. Matador: See that one there with the long dark hair??? What I'd do with that ass...
    Cajun: Dude, that's mystery!
    Matador: I know...

    Matador: Venusian Arts is the shit. Look into the light!
    Cajun: No, I'm good.

  68. Smell my wig!!! Thell THEM how alpha it smells.

  69. I want your c*ck!!!!!

  70. MaximusAlphaKManly1:05 PM

    Even though the contest is over, here's some more for fun

    Caption: "VA supports child abuse."


    Matador: "And THAT'S the way to Brokeback Indian Mountain...."

  71. Anonymous7:40 PM

    "You shall not pass! This Hobbit beside me and my Wig of Wonder shall stop you!"

  72. I Want YOU

    To Fuck Me In The Ass

  73. "Better watch yo Back, Fish! Squirrel Master aint always goin Be There for You!!"

  74. JustCallMeDan4:59 PM

    Cajun: "*sigh* for the last time Matador... That is NOT the ring of power."


  75. From Poltergeist...

    "Carol Anne - listen to me. Do NOT go into the light. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it."

    Matador: "Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light."

  76. Matador: "Only YOU can prevent wig snatching!"
    Cajun: "Mmmm. I love a man who wears Old Spice."
    Matador: "You..., doing the picture routine! Take a pic of me and Kirk Cameron."
    Cajun: "I can feel your Growing Pains digging into my hip. Oh boy!"
    Matador: "Say it with me! Captain Caaaaaaaave maaaaaan!"
    Cajun: "Aaaaaand son!"