Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Meaning of Communciation is...

The response it gets.

It doesn't matter what the intentions are, it doesn't matter what you were trying to convey or express, none of it matters.

What makes communication effective is how it is interpreted by the other person.

Nothing else.


PS: Yes, I know this is a vague post but the person who needs to see this, will.


  1. Just The Facts5:42 PM

    "The Meaning of Communciation is...
    The response it gets."

    This is a cute catch phrase.

    But it's false.


    You: I really like your hair.
    ( the meaning of your communication is the intention to make a person feel good)

    Her: ( has been sexually assaulted recently ) fuck off.

    The meaning of your communication in this case, was NOT reflected in the response that came back.

    To a subtler degree, people have biographical histories that filter your communication.

  2. Xander6:03 PM

    Or as my college communications professor used to say, "Meaning is in people not words."

  3. short but sweet with the right words used ALWAYS gets the point across ;)

    good stuff!

  4. Anonymous6:11 AM

    Communication through language is a substitute for grooming. It is a tool for forming bonds.

  5. Anonymous6:13 AM

    communication replaces the grooming of our ancestors. Sounds wierd but its true.

  6. Anonymous9:10 AM

    this mindset is too reactive, jon.


  7. Anonymous10:52 AM

    To Just The Facts...

    If you expanded that "I really like your hair." statement to 100 women, what do you think the overall response would be?

    And, for you and the last Anonymous who said, "this is too reactive, jon."

    It's actually the very OPPOSITE of reactive. The purpose of this idea is to bring responsibility to the communicator for the responses they are creating.

    Once you see yourself as responsible you stop being a victim of the world and circumstances. This gives you power to effect and exercise control over your life.

    If someone keeps getting responses from people over and over again and over time (meaning its a pattern) then the meaning of their communication is that response.

    Once they take responsibility they are then in a position to examine their communication and see why it is having that effect. This returns the power to them.

    So, it is the very opposite of reactive, it is proactive.


  8. Anonymous7:15 PM

    Holy shit Captain Jack is alive!!! Hey Sinn get CJ on your podcast. As a matter of fact get your podcast back up. Long live the PIRATE KING!!! Ya best start believing in ghost stories...your in one...

  9. Anonymous7:30 PM


    I do not agree. Commmunication is very subjective and so many elements can influence the how it is received. A person could be having a good day and take "you have nice hair" positively and then the next day she could be having a bad day and it will be taken in the "fuck off " way...

    I think if there is repetition then there is definitely something going on but not every communication can be evaluated on the same level. Again, there are so many variables involved.

  10. Just The Facts7:34 PM

    To Captain Jack:

    you wrote:
    "If someone keeps getting responses from people over and over again and over time (meaning its a pattern) then the meaning of their communication is that response."

    Exactly. This is what makes the statement false. It requires this variable; consistent repeated responses.

    But "The Meaning of Communciation is...The response it gets." as such, doesn't work on a
    case by case basis. There are variables, like a persons mood that day, a persons individual
    temperament and history, the two people communicating may have a back history that distorts the
    communication also.

    On a single case basis, I'd disregard it the statement because of the myriad of variables.

    Something like: "Consistent, repeated responses reveals the meaning of your communication"
    is truer to me. But then, this this doesn't sound sexy at all, and is self-evident. It's not
    implied strongly enough in the original statement, that repeated and consistent responses are relevant.

    "what comes around goes around"
    "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar"
    "the meaning of communication is the response it gets"

    All sort of true I guess. Sometimes. Depends. Etc.


  11. Anonymous9:19 PM

    @ Just the facts...

    you need to re-read the post again. you said its false and then restated what sinn just wrote.. haha, now thats cute.

  12. I think people are missing Sinn's point. Sinn isn't saying that words can't have different meanings based on context or intention or tone.
    He is saying that what ultimately matters in the field is what a girl interprets what she hears/sees (of all that) to mean.

    You may call a girl a knucklehead in a what you consider a booming playful voice and intend it to be funny. But, if a girl takes you to be harsh and intimidating, that is what counts. What matters is that you scared her and that you now have to calibrate to that. If its a pattern, you have to adjust what you are doing to more consistently communicate what you intended.

    If you compliment a girls dress sincerely, and she rejects it as a cheesy pickup line. How she perceives it matters. You can think about your intention till your blue in the face, but in the end she rejected you based on what she thought you were doing.

  13. Anonymous7:35 AM

    This is one of the pre-suppositions of NLP. That's where it came from.