Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Basics Of Story-Telling

Hey guys,

Here's a feature from my newsletter where I breakdown the real life nuts and bolts of common skills and ideas related to meeting and attracting women.

Before we’ve tackled topics like Day Game, Approaching Groups, and Phone Game.

Today we’re going to breakdown story-telling.

Story-telling is a great social skill. In my Natural Attraction program I talk about how there are 4 characteristics that attract women. One of them is the ability to be interesting. Being interesting doesn’t refer to having a million hours of routines or being some sort of Richard Branson esque-alpha male. Instead it refers to having the ability to carry on an interesting conversation. Story-Telling is one of the most important of these conversational skills.

So let’s get into the basics:

Length is key to your story-telling. An attraction story should be between 30 and 90 seconds. Any shorter and it’s going to be hard to make an impact. Any longer and you run the risk of boring the girl(s).

Always start with the end of your story in mind. It’s very important to have a definitive ending to your story, so that the girl(s) know it’s their turn to respond.

A good attraction story should end on a laugh, a “that’s interesting” or a “aww”. Any other reaction you’ve done something wrong.

Characters are key to your stories. You want to make sure to describe your characters in detail. Make sure to focus specifically on what the characters look like, sound like, and what they’re overall stereotype would be.

Be Succinct. Guys tend to focus too much on small details, be willing to cut your story down to bare facts and emotional language.

Use Emotional language. Make sure that you describe things using your 5 senses. Talk about what you smelled, heard, felt, touched, tasted etc… Be careful not to take this too far as you can end up sounding like a cheesy romance novel writer wannabe.

Use lead ins. Lead ins are how you start to tell a story to a new girl or group of girls. A great way to lead in is with a set phrase like “ The (Weirdest, Craziest, Funniest, Randomest) thing happened to me today.

Use check ins like “ Has that ever happened to you?” “ You have been there right?” “ You Know what I mean.” This is to make sure that you are keep the girl(s) involved and attentive.

Lastly lower the bar of how interesting you think your stories have to be. Your compeitition is not the most interesting man in the world. It’s the “ where are you from/what do you do guy?”

Hope that helps you guys clean up your story-telling,

Talk to you guys soon,


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  1. I briefly dated a guy whose stories were MINIMUM, 20 minutes. I took him to a party with friends of mine from work and he trapped a bunch of people and told them, like, 3 stories in a row. Plus all the stories were about how awesome he was. Everyone hated him.

  2. Anonymous8:13 AM

    Hey sinn.

    Been doing your stack from the day game promotion book. A few times.

    Getting pretty consistent outcome.
    hb: 'I'm not special'.

    So, visually, what type of girls are capable and willing to try and answer it?

    Also what is your response to
    what's special about you?

  3. Anonymous10:53 AM

    just checked out the blog awesome gold nuggets... this is the kind of stuff those damn!! teachers should have taught us properly in the early years when we were school.

  4. I like how you bring up that your stories don't have to be incredible. Guys get so caught up in thinking they have to tell amazing stories all the time. I would say a good amount of my stories that I would tell are rather mundane but they still stir the woman's emotions and are filled with banter.

  5. sub5tance8:20 AM

    Story - Telling was one aspect of game I avoided for a while, because it seems like a lot of work. But actually it is a good way to bond with a woman and always have something to talk about; if you prepare.

    My tip is: keep a blog.

    Just writing down what you did day-to-day allows you to easily come up with new funny stories.

    For me, developing stories is really much the same as how a stand-up probably comes up with material; using real life experiences and emphasising and phrasing the funny or surprising aspects ('twists'). Doing this in a blog first makes the transfer to verbal storytelling easier for me. It also means I can concentrate on the delivery rather than the content in-field.

    I guess my goal is to have the girl laughing and giggling at these 'twists' (and my emphasised delivery of them), while at the same time bonding with me thanks to the cumulative effect, over time, of sharing my life with her in this way.

    Finally, *don't* assume your mental model matches that of women. Just because you find the mundane day-to-day things in life boring, doesn't mean women do. I've found they actually like hearing about your trip to the store or whatever if you can sound enthusiastic and especially if you can inject a small twist or observation. It develops intimacy in the same way as actually doing stuff together can.

    You don't need to impress with big themes or achievements - in fact that can be counter-productive.

  6. but you dated him ;)

  7. Anonymous12:57 AM

    Hey Anonymous,

    What's important is not what she answers, but if she tries to answer. I guess for that answer, it can be both, you're the only one who can tell if she really tried to find something and if she felt embarrassed, or if she just didn't make the effort.