Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Enemy Vs Ally centered existances

One of the things that I notice immediately now when I meet people, is how they define themselves in the world.

There's the obvious ways people do this like being positive, negative, thrill seeking, etc...

But it goes deeper, one thing I notice a lot in students especially ones who experience a little success, is that they live enemy centered existences. Every guy is a "chode" to be blown out. Every girl is a " bitch" to be brought down a peg. When combined with another unhealthy thought pattern taught in community known as the " Value paradigm". You become a really nasty person to be around. I know cause I used to do the same things. The problem is it leads to a lot of problems. You will alienate a lot of people ( I used to), you'll miss out on a lot of cool people because they are not cool based on the community's model of "high value" and ultimately you will end up alone.

Instead you want to adopt a ally based viewpoint. You want to assume people are going to be friendly to you( you're usually right), you want to assume that people will be happy to talk to you, and that the girl's friends will help you hook up with her. Tim from RSD has talked about the idea of seeing cheerleaders instead of obstacles. This is about seeing friends not enemies and acting accordingly. I mean you wouldn't be nervous talking to friends right?

Tomor I'll write about the value paradigm and how that can harm you as well...



  1. Hola Sinn!

    Excellent post as ALWAYS :-).

    Just a side note, where can I get your book man!?

    Best wishes,


  2. The book "Moral Politics" by George Lakoff encapsulates the two lines of thinking very well, and it also explains why enemy centered thinking people usually have social/sexual anxiety.

  3. Anonymous5:30 PM

    This is definitely true. I used to hang out with this guy who was totally enemy-centered and value-based.
    This guy was rich and had his own business.
    He would put me down and he really turned me against guys like that.
    One day he said to me "I only hang out with guys who get me laid or make me money."
    Who needs dickheads like that?
    I told him he could go fuck himself.

    The thing is, he wasn't really that good with women. He would kinda stand around at the bar and stare at girls and never approach.

    I finally quit hanging with him. I think he got better after that.

  4. Couldn't agree more, the essence of ultimate inner game is to accept everyone.

    If you start by assuming nothing and being genuinely interested in who people actually are you will go further and be happier doing it.

  5. TightGame3:00 PM

    Good article, but a tad confusing. At first it seems like you are taking a pretty clear shot at RSD with:

    "Every guy is a 'chode' to be blown out."

    Since that's pretty much the mindset over there. Then you try to hedge it by praising Tim. Truth is, Tim is as sucked into the RSD mindset as anyone, where a small number of Knighted Lords of Nimbus rule over, and blow out, the chodely masses.