Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Mailbag Part 2 : How to Escalate physically, build sexual tension and get dates back to your house.

Dates part 2: How to build sexual tension, escalate physically and get her back to your place.

On the last part of this mailbag , I talked about how to set up dates and what the overall vibe should be. This time we’re going to discuss how to escalate things further.
The most important thing about building sexual tension, and getting her back to your place is breaking the physical barriers early on. You need to re-establish touching as soon as you see her. When you see her you need to give her a big hug and then push her away. You want to retain the reset model of touching where you break all physical contact after every escalation. But you don’t want to waste any time in escalating the touching. You should be holding hands when you’re walking or driving to the first venue. You also want to look for random opportunities to kiss her if it didn’t feel right at the beginning.

One of my favorite ways to build sexual tension is through the use of the almost kiss. I learned this from Future and it is still my favorite way to kiss a girl. Somewhere on my date I will look at her while she’s talking I’ll say “ You know it’s really hard for me to pay attention to what you’re saying when I keep thinking about kissing you. But I know we’re not ready for that yet so I tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to Almost kiss. Then I get them to pinky swear not kiss me and I promise not to kiss them. Then you get really close to their lips for about 2 seconds. This is great for building sexual tension because a few minutes later you can call it back and say you’re ready for another almost kiss.

Another thing you want to do to build sexual tension is alternate sexual indicators of interest with regular qualification statements and comfort frames. Dates are all about comfort so the first and foremost focus of our interaction should be on making the girl as comfortable with us as possible by letting her get to know us. B y demonstrating who we are and where we came from she gets to know us and feels more comfortable around us as she’s starting to get an idea of how you are going to act at any given time. We also need to get her to become comfortable with our touch and our indicators of interest. That means we are going to be cycling qualification and compliments into our comfort material. We need to hit on the girl a lot and demonstrate that we are attracted to her both physically and for her non-physcial attributes. Then we need to introduce sexuality. Qualification is the mchanism we use to move between comfort and seduction. This fractionating between hitting on her sexually, qualifying her and building comfort is what leads to getting laid on dates.
The nest key step in getting girls back to your place is handling logisitics. You need to have a reason to bring her back to your place. I always loan girls books at the end of the date or offer to let them come up to use the bathroom and get a glass of water if I couldn’t get them up any other way. This is where having a cool movie, a great new piece of music even a cool or different type of wine or liquor like Absinthe comes into play. We want to create plausible deniability so that she doesn’t feel guilty for coming up. It’s also important to use a false time constraint when bringing a girl home if only to make her think she can’t spend the night ☺
Lastly you need to let her know that you are interested in having sex with her. And it’s her fault for being so sexy… This is what prepping is all about. Prepping statements cimply let a woman know what you are planning to do later with her. Saying something like “ You have no idea what I’m thinking about doing to you right now.. Stop being cute. Gives both a prep and a release to keep up the tension. But you have made a sexual indicator of interest. The more of these you can do the better. This is the art of coquetting. I leraned this from all the exotic dancers I dated. You sexually pull them in then push them away and take away their sexuality with a a tease and comfort building conversations. Make sure you demonstrate interest in her and sex with her.

Now you guys know how to set up and start dates, the amount of venues to take them through, what to talk about while on a date and how to escalate, build sexual tension and get girls home with you.



  1. "give her a big hug and then push her away"
    English it s not my first language so can u(smb)clarify this to me?
    u push her playfully physical with your hands or how?
    thx u.

  2. Anonymous7:32 AM

    Very informative.

    Thanks a lot, really appreciated!

  3. God damn man, your posts are so solid. No filler, just useful practical stuff. Awesome.