Friday, February 15, 2008

My take on the whole girlfriend thing

I really don't understand why soo many instructors get girlfriends and then cheat on them...

Granted I do have issues with cheating as my mom cheated on my dad and they ended up getting divorced about three and a half years ago. But at the same time I just don't see the point of having a "girlfriend" for show when you know you're going to cheat or when you cheat given the opportunity. And I love the rationalizations that they all make. " Oh it's only a one time thing, she knows I have a girlfriend." " I was drunk" or " She asked me for a ride home".Call me naive, but being in a committed relationship is a test of your integrity. It's the reason that I NEVER get into committed relationships, because I know that i enjoy sleeping with a wide variety of women and that isn't likely to change just because i met one girl who happens to be really cool.

Furthermore, it's a stupid strategy to get into these non-open relationships, because you don't have to do it. I have consistently since being in the community kept girls around for months on end until I usually get sick of being around them with absolutely no measure of exclusivity whatsoever. I know CJ has done the same thing. Yet every few weeks I see another instructor engaged in what amounts to lying. If we want to champion ourselves as improving men's lives and helping them become better people, then it's probably not a good idea to lie to women about how committed we are to them. It's much healthier in both my opinion and experience to keep things casual and not commit until it will be a real commitment. Plus you don't have to deal with the drama when you inevitably get caught.

S

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:56 AM

    100% agree mate!

    -jay

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  2. Anonymous1:59 AM

    That's one thing I stick by. I will never cheat on a girlfriend. If she's good enough to be my girlfriend to start with, then she's good enough for my commitment, and furthermore she's good enough for my honesty and respect.


    Respect you dude.


    Jay

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  3. Anonymous7:53 AM

    dude,

    i live in spain and all me mates have girlfriends but when we're out they don't think twice about cheating.

    AND if for whatever reason they get cheated by their gf, you can ensure that big drama with occur!

    Cheating on someone does not equal better person.

    If you want to be a better man then you have to be honest with people, otherwise peeps will stop trusting you and most of all, you will stop trusting yourself.

    a bitter end is guaranteed.

    Word out!

    Paulo

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  4. PUA! at the Disco10:51 AM

    i do the whole PUA thing plus gf. escalation never goes pat hand holding though.

    well, except for that time that i fucked 10 girls consecutively. i'm a dog.

    sinn, how's that toecutter seminar review coming? i'm soooo excited to hear it!

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  5. Anonymous6:18 PM

    As long as your honest with them from the begginning they'll be cool with whatever you want to do. And they'll even respect you for it.

    I don't see the point of lying.

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  6. Anonymous11:17 PM

    respect, sir.

    -Sonic

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  7. I see nothing wrong with cheating occasionally on a girl you love.

    call me an asshole but I've found that you can be much happier in a commited relationship if "you aren't so committed"

    Sure your point about why get into a committed relationship is valid.. but there is the fact that I enjoy having a girlfriend to do all the boyfriend type stuff with.. im 29 for christ sake.. going to bars gets boring after awhile.. but from time to time a man needs variety.

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  8. Anonymous12:28 AM

    Bobby Rio,

    If that man needs variety, have the balls to accept that she may need it too--as opposed to CHAINING HER DOWN while you do YOUR thing, or you are making yourself LESS of a man.

    All in or all out.

    --smoothlatinkid

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  9. Anonymous7:55 PM

    Sinn

    You have seriously got to get some of Johnny Soporno's material. Half of its free.

    clr

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  10. Anonymous10:29 AM

    Yeah, but what constitutes cheating? I have a gf but I like to keep my skills sharp by approaching and flirting with no closing and keeping other female friends in orbit. If the standard is, would I like it if my gf were doing the same thing, then I would have to answer no way. So am I cheating by commiting, as some have called it, "emotional" infedelity? How healthy can this be for a realtionship long term? I think that's a bigger question for ex-gamers who decide to get into LTRs. And it's a tough one.

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  11. Anonymous9:27 PM

    /\/\ great comment
    i struggle with this question too - i too am in a LTR but like to keep doing approaches when i can, mainly cause i feel better about myself when i continue to conquer the fear of being intimidated by attractive women - it's very hard to learn skills, get a reasonable degree of success, enjoy the whole process (not just the sex) then have to sacrifice your favourite hobby for the sake of a relationship.
    i know if my gf caught me doing this sort of thing (which will happen sooner or later, she's not stupid) she would assume i was trying to f&*^k other chicks - but the truth is i know this isn't my motivation - there is really no way that i could explain to her that i feel the need to keep the front end of my game intact

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