Friday, February 08, 2008

Free lesson from my upcoming product

Lesson # 11
Living in alignment with your values

One of the big buzz words in the pick up community, is congruence. A lot has been made or written about what congruence is or isn’t. Mystery would define congruence as what you say and how you say it lining up. His solution to becoming congruent is to practice your routines over and over until you have perfected the delivery of your lines and thus (hopefully) the attitude behind it.

I define congruence a little bit differently. To me congruence is the act of living in alignment with your values. To be congruent, one must have a 100% belief in what they are doing, saying, thinking and want to come of the interaction. Congruence, comes down to belief. The person that believes themselves more is more congruent and people will fall in line with the person who is most congruent.

You can fake congruence, but in order to actually become congruent, you nee to discover your core values. Most of us live not by our own core values, but by a set of values that have been passed on, or picked up from our parents, friends, society or a base of referential experience. Thus we are forced to be congruent with a set of values that we have not picked out for ourselves. When you figure out your core values and live in alignment with them, you instantly become congruent as you believe in and value what you are doing.

It’s time to start discovering our core value.


Answer the following questions:

1. What is one thing you need in order to feel like life is worth living?

2. How do you know you have that in your life?

3. What does having that in your life enable you to feel?

That feeling is your core value. Everything you do in your life should be about moving toward this core value and away from anything that can stop you from feeling this value.


Now I want you to list 10 qualities that you want in your life. They can be anything that you think would make you happy. I do want to stipulate that you should stick to feelings instead of possessions or accomplishments.

For example here is my list:
1. Passion
2. Learning
3. Freedom
4. Honesty
5. Authenticity
6. Happiness
7. Bravery
8. Acceptance
9. Creativity

Now that you have made your list, I want you to spend some time comparing and contrasting the values. Then rank them in the order of importance to you. Make sure that you compare all of them so that you know if you would rather have Passion or Honesty. Really think about this, as you will be using these for the next exercise.


Print/write out two more copies. Place one in your wallet so that you can carry it around with you at all times. Then place another one on your bathroom mirror so that you can see it first thing in the morning.
Finally get a small notebook and pen. For the next seven days you are going to write down every situation where you violate your core values. No matter how small. If for example, you value bravery but you are too scared to approach a woman on the street because of what people may think, write it down. At the end of the week tally up how many times you violated your core values. Do this again the next week and consciously try to violate your values ten percent less of the time. So if you violated your values 30 times the first week, aim for 27 the next, etc…


  1. Any more info on your new product?

  2. All will be revealed at the Love Systems Superconference.


  3. Anonymous6:01 AM

    you gotta love's simple and applicable. and it's chunked into small steps --> this is how transformation takes place.

    thanks for this free piece, that i can integrate into my day-to-day life.


  4. Anonymous7:54 AM

    The first half of this exercise is actually a pretty good routine to do in comfort. It's from Style and it's worked really good for me :)

  5. Joshua 1016:51 PM

    Congruence not only has a lot to do with how you act, but it is also the image you present to others. Is the image people get from their first impression of you aligned with your attitude, values, and actions? I think a huge part of not only pick-up, but life in general and being successful in socal situations is projecting a powerful congruent image.

    I recently read a great book teaching people how to successfully create and develop a powerful image.

    Check out The Rockstar Artist in You by John S. Battagila at

  6. I was totally just thinking about this today.

    Thanks bunches, <3

  7. CaptinAmerica7:34 AM

    great system for developing not only congruence but also inner game. Working towards becoming what you value most I believe is a big part of inner game. As always Great work Sinn and thanks for the freebies. :)


  8. Anonymous3:37 AM

    Is this from the breakthrough comfort DVD when is it comeing out.