Wednesday, May 16, 2012

On Promiscuity Part 2: Filling a hole...


 Hey there,

 In part one of this series I started to talk about promiscuity and the reasons why guys in the SUISC pursue extreme levels of it.

* A quick note, I'm talking extreme levels of promiscuity/desire for such. It's quite common that I turn down phone coaching students who want to have sex with 4 new 9s a week and think that's a totally realistic, normal, rational and reasonable goal. If I have to explain why that's an issue to you, you should probably stop reading this post and go back to reading the fairy tales on other pick up guys message boards. If you just want to sleep with a few more girls and explore your options this probably doesn't apply to you.

 Part 2: Filling a hole inside of yourself.

 Tell me if this sounds familiar, you wake up, something feels wrong. There's no major issue in your life, you're not in poverty, or hunger, or being abused, but there's a subtle feeling that something isn't right. You feel unsatisfied with your lot in life, you know you deserve better than what you're getting now. You KNOW you're special, why can't other people see it? There's a gnawing feeling inside of yourself saying this is not the life I was meant to live... You know something has to change but what?

You start to look at outside measures of success...

Well if I was really ripped(Insert any other personal vanity goal here), I'd feel better about myself you might say.

 If I owned my own home, or a nice watch or got bottle service every night, I'd feel better.

 What if I was really successful or made a lot of money.

 But here's the problem, getting ripped or making a lot of money take time, and effort and energy and there's this damn feeling that won't go away while you're doing all this hard work and not getting a result.

 You want to feel better now.

 Well if you can't feel better about yourself instantly through improving yourself what would make you feel better?

All the "successful" guys you see have hot chicks with them, if you could just get a hot chick, even though the rest of your life is a mess and you don't have the discipline to fix it, you'd feel better.

Hot chicks = Success = Not feeling so shitty about yourself.

And the cycle begins.

Except the problem is this doesn't work for most guys. Most guys fail at pick up miserably and end up feeling worse about themselves.

Then the ones who are successful are hit with an awful WTF moment, when the validation all of a sudden doesn't feel as good and they start having to get laid a ridiculous amount just to not feel like a complete loser.

 But since rejection is a constant in approaching even when you're good, you start to find that you feel nothing when you succeed and feel awful when you fail.

 The attempt to plug the hole has officially failed, and your choices are despair or finding another way to feel better about yourself, when the real reason you felt bad was that EVERYTHING in your life needs to change.

This post is pretty emotional for me because I felt this way for years... Like 2005-2010.

And the reason was that I was doing the equivalent of filling a hole in a bucket with toilet paper and expecting it to stop the water from getting out. I had to realize that my whole life was fucked up starting with the puas and yes men fanboys I surrounded myself with. I needed to start to build an entire new support system that didn't care how many girls I slept with and I had to find new ways to be able to measure the progress of my life outside of whether or not I was able to stick my dick in 4 new girls a month consistently.

 That's what the hole is, it's your own knowledge that you are not progressing enough in life. You know you're letting yourself down in almost every area of your life from your health (Eating, working out, not drinking every night at da club) to your career( or lack their of) to everything. When you feel the hole and want to fill it with more pussy; your sticking point is everything in your life. And until you realize that you'll just keep trying to plug the hole with no success...

 Part 3 Friday.

 JS- The King Of Content
 

15 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Anonymous2:32 AM

    pure gold..

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  3. good post....as always

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  4. good stuff bro!!, that how i feel when i failed to progress in all areas of life.

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  5. Anonymous6:11 AM

    Gay Sinn is gay

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  6. Ablaze9:35 AM

    I've really enjoyed your last few posts and can relate to them both.

    The "hole" for me is a little different though. Anytime I'm turning away from that which I want, that which I need, my desires, I feel a twisting overwhelming negativity come over me. When I see the hot girl bend down to look in her purse and half her ass is hanging out of her jeans and I get that "rush", I have to follow it. When I don't I feel like I'm being weak, I'm turning away from my desires, I'm caring too much about what other people think, simply put I'm allowing fear to rule me.

    Pickup for me is very much about filling a hole inside of me and feeling whole and complete. I want to walk through this world unafraid and free. Fortunately or unfortunately (depending how good my performance is I guess) for women, part of that feeling complete means following through on my desires to seduce. It's not so much that I'm trying to fuck my way to freedom to fill the hole, but it is a part of it.

    The end goal, the lay, isn't the goal. It's the process of pursuing that which my emotions are pushing me to pursue that fills the hole. The hole can only be filled with a complete and balanced life and pursuing women is a part of it.

    Dare I give you some advice Sinn? I've had "the hole" in the sense that you described. Sex and seduction wasn't fun anymore as it was more a job and it zapped all of the excitement out of it. What made it better for me was to stop worrying about the numbers I was racking up and focusing more on the quality of the girls and the way I gamed. I became radically picky, only approaching girls that were so my type I wanted to punch myself in the face. I was radically myself. I never put on another face or act. And I was radically honest about my intentions with girls. That combo 1) Super picky 2) Being myself 3) Honest about my intentions... That was the magic combo for me. The girls I get now are just built for me. I get laid less, but the satisfaction is so much greater.

    I appreciate your blog Sinn.

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    Replies
    1. Ablaze10:55 PM

      Seriously, take my advice Sinn. Peace

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    2. Anonymous3:38 PM

      Your advice sucks.

      The only solution to fix the "Black Hole" issue is to not have it. Think of your body as either a Sun or a Black Hole. You can either take attention, love, kindness, respect, praise, etc or give it out. But if your stuck recieivng, how do you know what it's like to give?

      Pickup is a lame as fuck; Seriously. Most healthily individuals have an assortment of friends, male and female, and focus on one healthy sexual/emotional relationship that's fulfilling, Picking up A WOMAN and NOT WOMEN.

      P.S. you can't walk through life unafraid and free, there are always constructs place upon us.

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    3. The Real Ablaze6:59 AM

      I never said "Seriously take my advice Sinn. Peace."

      I was just stating what worked for me. It got me out of Puatron mode and into real person mode and made me a little happier. Sex with girls was no longer a sales operation, but an enjoyable experience.

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    4. The Real Ablaze12:38 AM

      One day I want to be a dating coach. I feel I have a lot to offer.

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  7. Anonymous12:54 PM

    I see that therawness resonated in you. And I'm kinda proud of your honesty to yourself right now. Keep it up.

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  8. icantstopfarting12:10 PM

    Good post Sinn. I'm in toronto and there's one guy I've been running with for about half a year who's an OG pua. He hung out with Mystery and 26 back in the early 00's and he's still at it. I won't say his name/handle, but he says he's met you too.

    Anyway on the point of rejection being a constant in approaching even if you're good, I remember he once told me the following: "In pick up, your identity is so transient. You can talk to one set and they'll think you're a total loser, and then you talk to another set and they'll think you're the coolest guy in the world. It's like you have to ask yourself, 'Who am I?'". That bit stuck with me.

    As for the guy, he freely admits that he no longer does pickup primarily to get laid, but for the validation.

    - I Can't Stop Farting

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  9. Anonymous3:00 PM

    lol wtf who likes the validation more then the pussy? gay

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  10. Anonymous12:38 AM

    It's funny how much people start to realize that being good in "pua" is simply learning to be a successful, independent, well adjusted guy.

    BTW, props for actually owning up to this Sinn. I know you say it as it is, and it's a bit refreshing. It's human nature to want to believe in a fairy tail when your life sucks. The PUA community largely just feeds off the desperation of guys who are too lazy to put the effort into simply being better people.

    It's not that self improvement isn't viable, and that guys can't learn to pick up girls, but what quality girls are you picking up? Does it really feel that much better to pick up random bar sluts who lead an even more pathetic life than you do? The more you get into pickup, the more you realize that girls who actually have a personality are actually attractive (*at least for me).

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