Monday, May 14, 2012

On promiscuity Part 1: Boosting Self Esteem Through Sex

 One of the things I've realized over the almost a decade I've been involved with teaching men how to meet, attract and seduce women is that everyone has their own reasons for why they want to sleep with a lot of girls.

However having said that, most guys (in the Secret Underground Seduction Community) who want to sleep with a lot of girls are doing it for 1 of 3 reasons:

 1. To boost their self esteem. I'll be discussing this today.
 2. To fill a hole inside of them (Wed)
 3. To get back at women for something that happened to them earlier in life (Fri)

 At one point or another I have had all of these motivations, which is what struck me and made me want to write about this. It's not as simple as saying "Oh well it;s evolution and guys are designed to spread their seed." First off there is a reason that evolutionary biology is not taught at any major college (Seriously go look it up). Second of all, we're all fucked up here. It cracks me up when these "seduction gurus" try to pretend that their just normal guys with no problems whatsoever they just happen to have one of the most fucked up weird jobs in a community of fucked up weird people but they aren't the issue.


 Anyway by far the most common reasons why a guy wants to "rack up numbers" is because they are trying to boost their self esteem. Women become an external barometer for how good you should/do feel about yourself.

 Here's a fun game: Next time you see a pickup guy tell him you don't think he's good with girls and see what happens. Chances are he'll start qualifying himself and talking about why he's good and how he's got hidden camera footage and etc... They freak out because their self esteem is attached to being good with women if they're not good with women (and other people don't acknowledge it as their identity) they have NO idea how to define themselves.

 This is one of the reasons I tell guys not to identify with being a "Pick up artist" because a pua is defined only through pick-up. Which basically means your entire sense of self worth is going to be at the mercy of a bunch of girls in da club.


Not just lame but dangerous. There's a reason I tried to kill myself in my really dark PUA days it was because the only way I knew how to feel better about myself was to receive external validation from people. It's the reason some gurus have kids and still go to the club 7 nights a week. They're trying to feel better about themselves and escape their bad thoughts about how much of a loser they really are.

The thinking goes like this: If this girl was willing to let me fuck her, I MUST be cool. It's proof that I'm ok and that other people don't think I'm a loser.

The problem with this is that like any drug, the more you use the harder it is to get high. The more you validate yourself the less it starts to help. And all of a sudden if you're not sticking your dick into new pussy every single day, you start to feel like a loser anyway...

Self esteem cannot be built through interactions with other people. It can only be built through real accomplishment. It's by losing weight or getting a better job or basically being less of a loser that you're going to feel better about yourself.

 Trust me I have the scars to prove it.

 If you've ever thought you'd feel better about yourself if you slept with 10-20 or even 100 new girls this year, you are living in the clutches of boosting self esteem through sex and you need to step back and take a good long hard look at yourself. Because the dirty little secret about boosting your self esteem through sex is that it doesn't work.

Back with part 2 Wednesday.

JS- The King Of Content


  1. Anonymous11:41 AM

    First of I don´t know why you dissmis the evolutionary component so quickly, going against nature is the only thing I know is 100% guarantied to make you miserable thats why a lot of people in church live a cicle of sin/guilt/missery. Second nothing in life is going to give you real accomplishment thats how it is you succeed feel good for a short time then back again life is a game you cant win. Third give yourself a break man I think you do a great job at teaching all this buffoons (Myself included) how to be better with girls. Why do I sleep with girls? because is enjoyable and whoever says its not its a two faced hypocrite.

  2. Agreed. I have found myself going to bars and night clubs every weekend. Normal interaction with women isn't enough, the more I get from one woman the more I have to get from all of them otherwise I get so damned bored. I don't even care about women, they are just meat bags to make out with and masturbate into. It's a hollow existence, even a little effort on my part leads me walk away and the passion I had at the beginning of learning game is gone.

  3. Excellent words of wisdom. Reading this post made my day. Thank You Sinn!

  4. Anonymous2:55 PM

    That's bullshit.

  5. Anonymous3:09 PM

    I think that this article is well worth publicizing. What kind of sick fuck just wants to fuck a woman for another notch on the bed post?? I actually enjoy women. I don't worship them, and I enjoy fucking them, but I certainly do not have the disdain that many in the PUA community seem to have for them. I actually fear my two fuck-buddies finding out about the other, as each thinks that she is my exclusive woman. I do not want to hurt either of them.

    Many seem to treat all women as stupid bitches. If all you know are stupid bitches then perhaps that says something about the women with whom you fraternize.

  6. This post could also be written with a few minor tweaks and directed towards women. Cheap easy women who whore monger and validate themselves only through the male gaze and how much attention they can suck out of a sea of beta shmucks or how much alpha cock they can ride on the carousel of life.

    Anyone who seeks validation from external sources instead of within will always lead a miserable life, no matter how big a smile they might force onto their face, be it male or female.

    I definitely fit the bill for #2, and got married to fill that void. Once i discovered the manosphere after my marriage imploded, i was surely on path #3. Will be waiting for those 2 posts intently.

  7. It's a new subject here Sinn has touched upon. It didn't cross my mind lately.

    My take is that you have to like girls and enjoy sex FIRST or else nothing can and will help you. U have to come from the right mentality and set of beliefs. If you got that, women will see it and reciprocate.

    Yes we do all start with passion about the game to leanr the secrets, really not so many secret formulas once you get it... BUT Sinn did help a lot throughout the years, been reading this Blog since its inception I think circa 2006/2007?? I don't remember. Sinn had evolved, I have evolved and so many others I am sure of it. Some guys will have more success than others it all depends on the person, their way of life, job, friends, beliefs, skillset, etc.....

    I used to count lays, now I prefer not to remember and move on, it's not really a numbers game you're trying to beat or to get back at women.

    If you understand and like women and are willing to change for the better then this is for you, you're not a pua or guru or anything of that sort, NORMAL you have to be normal, getting called a playboy or womaniser or player way better than PICK UP ARTIST = LOOSER,

    At the end of the day those who havent found this blog, understood it or at least had bought some of the Sinn's products will be lost without a shepard for an eternity.

    It was so refreshing to read the Bobby Rio MM new e-book, I gave it a fair review, but Sinn (which happens to be my fav) is leagues away and above the current products on the market which I dont even bother to look at.... I confess I had bought ALL of Sinn's products at one time,,,, which in turn built my foundations with solid PRACTICAL theory and I picked up the pieces along the way in accordance with me and my life.

    And since I like to repeat myself and trash David DeAngelo for putting me on the wrong path initially, I hope he's still doublING his MasturbatING as a groom :))

    At the end, I am not saying that I dont enjoy the occasional ego boost when a game/ seduction goes my way... but i learnt to chill and relax and NOT let it get to my head, became humble about it not arrogant, it doesnt help, I also dont boast in front of guy friends anymore, it jinxes game and there is abs no NEED to tell to impress, this immediately lowers your social value and if friends as stupid they will believe, if they r smart then u r a would be.... this category might be called the would be PUA. LOL.

    All of the above stems from personal experience, in the field, in the trenches, in the clubs, in the beds, in the cabanas during beach parties, in the clubs, in the hotels, in the car, etc, etc.... I had to earn it the hard way which is the only way

    1. Anonymous4:51 AM

      double your masturbating. lol. thanks to this post, i just realized that i am an externally validated pussy. all the while i thought i was above society. oh the irony of life. damn sinn is tha man.

  8. Anonymous4:23 PM

    You know what that is why i quick the "pick up girls and get laid game" for a while after reading David Deangelo and other pick up gurus such as Jon Sinn. I realize the reason why I suddenly wanted to learn the game is because I felt really shitty about my self. I thought that getting more girls would make me feel better. However I now realize that the more I work on my self esteem and getting a better job to improve my life the happier I am and the less I need woman(sounds odd but yes). I feel much better trying make a better life than filling that empty hole called "loser" by getting laid with a shit load of girls. I need to fuck so many girls to feel better.

  9. hehehe Always love to trash David DeAngelo :D and that dwarf ugly kojak looking Neil Strauss.

    These two back in 2005 singlehandedly made thousands of poor guys wear black nail polish, cowboy hats and fluffy drag queen stuff running after girls asking them "hey you got e-mail?" lol to make it worse, I'm sure half of them were virgins..imagine the hundreds of girls that got scared to shit from this army of retarded puas :)

    I thank God I never went down that path, some things ring true to a sane guy, it all started for me when I started reading Ross Jeffries the looney toon back in hypnotising women lol... However, not everything is wrong with all the systems, there are jewels here and there, but the systems that existed at the begining were just infantile in nature...not there yet until Sinn came on board and took it to the stratosphere... There is cohesion now and some kind of a blue print with rules......

    Can't wait to read the next post :)

  10. Anonymous5:29 PM

    Check that out you imbecile. There is a whole department dedicated to evolution and ecology at my school and I took numerous courses on the subject. Clearly, you are an ignoramus of epic proportions and your opinion holds no validity whatsoever.