Monday, April 19, 2010

Approach Anxiety VS Approach Reluctance

I just wanted to make a clear distinction between approach anxiety which has clear physical and emotional symptoms (Usually butterflies or fearful paralysis) and approach reluctance which occurs when you are too lazy to approach or find a million little reasons not to.

Most guys have approach reluctance, but then through the marketing world of the internet start to believe they have approach anxiety and start trying to fix a problem that they don't actually have.

If you are not scared or SUPER nervous about approaching, you have approach reluctance not approach anxiety. When gurus say they still have approach anxiety they are generally describing approach reluctance.

If you have super bad unfixable approach anxiety, you should go to a Doctor as it's usually a sign of a bigger problem with anxiety in general.

That is all.

JS- The King Of Content


  1. Anonymous11:51 AM

    So how are you suggesting to fix Approach Reluctance? Because I sure have Approach Reluctance as I feel just "lazy" when I don't necessary need to approach but when I have to approach I can do almost every set ...

  2. Anonymous2:24 PM

    100% spot on, sinn.

    make more articles out of that.

    "clarifying classical community dogma" or sth.

    ur the man!

  3. you are bang on here

  4. Couldnt agree more. I also believe that approach reluctance will generally strike guys who already have reasonable pussy access, despite whether or not its with girls theyre that into.

    For me, the best solution to approach reluctance is not jerkin to porn, and basically harvesting my sex drive.

  5. Anonymous11:40 PM

    So true, the same way when you stay in bed, while you should get up. you are not anxious about putting your feet on the floor and walk to the bathroom, you are just lazy to leave the comfortable situation you are in.

  6. Anonymous11:05 AM

    So how does one deal with approach reluctance. Because right now I not only have approach reluctance, but going out reluctance.

  7. Hunh. That's a really astute point. I remember when Sheriff was describing approach anxiety as not anxiety but merely a series of excuses, and I thought he was crazy. To me, it was a distinct feeling: a tightening of chest muscles, a shortening of breath, and a sharp sensation in my stomach. As I've taught more and more, I have slowly begun to realize the point you just made here.

    Are you sure about the solution for anxiety though? Isn't it still the same as for reluctance where the would-be player just needs to sac up?

  8. Anonymous12:43 PM

    Bang fucking on. Been thinking this for a long time.

  9. Anonymous10:11 PM

    Ok Sinn, you really NEED TO WRITE ANOTHER POST ON THIS, bu more detailed, and more concentrated on Approach Reluctance, as we all know there are already 2 many things written on AA !!!

  10. Useful distinction, thanks man.

  11. Anonymous6:46 AM

    I totally agree, for me not jerking off (and especially not to porn), has really reduced my approach reluctance, as well as generally my self confidence in PU and day2 situations.

  12. Anonymous6:48 PM

    How do you tell if the approach reluctance isn't just an avoidance / denial mechanism for approach anxiety; as in you make a bunch of excuses to avoid approaching because of the anxiety that you fear feeling when you approach?

  13. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Great Info.. thanks for sharing